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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
Angry Ghosts Pt. 3
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Corey Smith Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
02-17-2020, 05:51 PM

DR. LUCIFERUS EVILTON BAADGUY, ESQ.

[Image: Snidely_Whiplash-Tim_Jordan-Screenprint-...1369629349]

Wealthy. Cultured. Charismatic. Hummel enthusiast. Dr. Luciferus Evilton Baadguy, Esq. (degree in divorce law, naturally) operates on a level above the plebian cognitions of 99.7% of humanity. A proverbial high roller in the worlds of business, finance, and children's television, his outward facade of lawful gentility masks a sinister, dark gooey center. All chocolatey and velvety, but still bad. Very, VERY bad.

His covert crimes are only spoken of in fearful whispers, but they are numerous. Some say he is the monster who is really responsible for Baby Shark (Doo, Doo, Doo). Others allege that the true source of his fortune comes from underground puppy fighting, whereby the combatants are smeared with peanut butter and unleashed to lick each other into submission....with the loser summarilly gassed, carved up, and added to a flowing coat of soft puppy pelts so Luciferus can live out his secret fantasy of being a real life Cruella DeVille (it's not sexual, the erections are incidental GOD DAMMIT!)

**ahem**

Anyway, the guy is no good, very bad. Evil, if you will. It's on the label. But perhaps his worst crime is also his most esoteric. You see, Luciferus delights in inserting overwrought biographical blurbs of himself in professional wrestling promotions. No real rhyme or reason to it, just bam, there it is. I mean you need to get up to speed on who this shithead (oof, that wasn't very refined) FECEShead is, don't you? Of course you do. And what better way to do that than with a solid five minute reintroduction consisting of pervasive ball washing Mary Sue pablum that literally no one on God's green earth asked for.

Wow, this guy really IS a DICK!

And the worst part is, I'm sure he thinks inserting his horribly cliché, master of puppets, Devil's Advocate knockoff self in the promo makes it better. But instead, he's just further pancaking an already overripe turd of match promotion further down the shower drain.

Again....DICK.

Anyhoo, I think you get the point.


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As we run screaming from the hackneyed exploits of Dr. Baadguy, the shot flowers into the interior of an extravagant limo.

[Image: UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_5151-1024x768.jpg]

Madison Dyson and The Engineer are presently enjoying some alcoholic beverages and having themselves a hearty laugh at something.

What a fucking tool! Half a promo's run time on the life story of some dime store Christian Grey shit. Unbelievable. What total masturbation. Madison scoffs, draining what's left of her glass.

Yeah, but what are you gonna do? The Engineer leans back in his seat with a contented sigh. But then, he notices the camera. Oh, fancy seeing you here, Azrael. I was starting to get worried. I thought maybe you had all but forgotten about our championship match down here on terra firma.

But seriously though Azrael, your bad guy? The champ does a sarcastic chef kiss. Couldn't be more contrived if you tried. I mean, I guess you can't PICK your villains, so maybe it was just dumb bad luck that you ended up on the pointy end of babby's first edgelord Dungeons and Dragons villain. But enough about your personal drama! Let's talk about you, me, and main event makes three.

Madison, who is clearly more than a bit sauced, throws her glass up for emphasis. Actually, I'd kinda like to talk more about how Rebel Star is a sex doll because I just did not care enough to know that before and I now that I do IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS!

Well, Madison, I would love to stop and have a chat about how her mere existence is setting back the women's lib movement and the notion of strong female personalities in mass media by about a bajillion years, but we REALLY got to talk about this match. Because quite frankly, I'm the only one out of the two of us who seems truly invested in doing so.

Fiiiiiine.

The champ nods and returns his full attention to the camera. So, Azzy....is you completely missing the forest for the trees on a regular basis some kind of feature of your race or are you just a Trisomy 13 case? You know what, I think it IS just part and parcel of your bloodline because your kids do the same thing. What thing? That thing you and Donovan do ALLLL THE TIME, where you pick out some word or portion of a phrase, deliberately misunderstand or hammer away at it like some autistic pedant, all the while being totally oblivious to how you look like a giant fucking . Like you guys lose your shit over some petty semantics and then sit there grinning like morons thinking you won the war but instead just look like the annoying awkward kid in class calling the teacher out for a mispronounced word while you wipe another layer of snot under the desk and hope nobody's noticing your random erection.

Madison cackles in the background as The Engineer continues to a run a train on good old Gordon Shumway.

Azrael, you know damn well that when I was referring to Dexter Bright being the longest reigning champion I was talking about him being the longest reigning Universal Champion. Yes, you do own the rights to being the longest tenured champion, period. I still can't quite figure out how the fuck that is a real thing that happened, but there ya go. It's yours.

Now, here's the forest you missed.

You did NOTHING about Lux's death, or Joachim's, or Dexter's. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Goose egg. You say you weren't planet side when Lux got carried off? So all of a sudden the guy with the limitless power to traverse time and space....to literally visit PURGATORY to reunite a son with his dead father, couldn't make it back in time to stop that from happening?

You know what? Fine. I'll take it. Maybe you and Maximus were so busy jerking each other off over which of you is a bigger Marty Sue that you missed your ET sense tingling that one of your friends was in danger or what the fuck ever. Fine! But then how do you account for the fact that instead of stepping up to me, instead of doing anything about the total devastation me and and my allies laid at the feet of people you called friends, you did (here's that word again)....NOTHING.

I had to CALL YOU OUT. I had to take the first step in getting you to even acknowledge the evil that I wrought. I literally laid a heaping bag of shit at your door step and you were more concerned about marrying a glorified sex toy than you were about your dead friends. Oh damn. I just realized I probably shouldn't have said “literally” just now because Asperger Supreme will launch into a ten minute spiel about it.

But please....PLEEEAAASSSEEEE quibble some more about exactly how many times I thought you said you wouldn't use your powers. By God I bet you thought that was a masterstroke. You fucking NOB. I am standing here gut fucking you, pulling your insides out and dropping them at your feet and you're trying to tell me what the definition of “is” is.

Do you understand what I'm doing? I'm pulling the big curtain back and revealing, once and for all that The Great and Might Oz-real Erebus is an insufferable, self centered prick who disappears so far up the rectum of his own space faring derring-do that he didn't even feel the need to avenge his friends until I suggested it.

THIS....you and I....COULD have been something special. We could have been the rivalry that set the XWF on fire. Hell, forget Bourbon....YOU could have rode a wave of white hot vengeance to a Universal Title Match at March Madness and it would have been LIT as FUCK. But instead of opting for that ground breaking rivalry with ME, we get this overcooked fuckboi Maximus doing you in for about five seconds (like anyone doubts you getting shivved is gonna last before you pull some extraterrestrial ipso-Christo resurrection wankery).

And that's why nobody can stand you. It's why nobody takes you seriously. Because everything about you just has to be so much more than some “pedestrian minutia” here on Earth....here at the XWF. What with your sprawling supporting cast of Saturday afternoon basic cable low budget sci-fi show rejects and the fact that you can barely throw together any meaningful remarks for a UNIVERSAL TITLE MATCH, like....why the FUCK are you even here? I mean, I know my background is nutso but at least I give my title matches due consideration.

The Engineer is looking seriously annoyed now. He runs a hand through his locks and sneers viciously at the camera, stabbing a finger towards his own face.

I'm your villain! I'm your Maximus! RIGHT. HERE. Do you understand? Or are you just that committed to being some low rent Dr. Manhattan dicking around on the moon and leaving the cluttering irrelevancies of the human race behind?

He tosses his hands up in the air disdainfully.

Pearls before swine, man. I'm wasting my time. So you know what, seeing as how you're still a lame duck...fuck it! He shrugs his shoulders. I'm gonna go play with my Maximus I guess. And unlike you, I'm gonna provide all of our loyal XWF viewers with a cliff hanger that's not just a precursor to some more bland Erebus brand “snap your fingers, alien magic your way out of every problem” horse shit! There's gonna be REAL peril. Real drama! Real.....!

Madison is looking at him askance. What the fuck are you talking about?

Is your seat belt on? Because you're gonna want your seat belt on.

Her not quite sober brain is still a bit fuzzy on what's happening. ...huh?

Put. It. On. He speaks the words very, very slowly.

Madison reaches for the seat belt and clips it on, still not understanding. Well, not understanding until she happens to look up and sees the Humvee barreling right for the limo. FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!

The black Humvee barrels into the side of the limo, causing it to careen through the intersection and flip up and over onto it's side. The armor plating on the limo no doubt keeping it's occupants alive, but still not enough to completely halt multiple tons of truck. The Humvee looks roughly worse for the wear, quickly starting to leak fluids onto the cement as the tic-tic-tic of its devastated engine serves as the only counterpoint to the driver's side door getting kicked open and a slim figure stepping out into the rapidly pooling fluids in the street.

That monstrous sliver like effigy calling itself “Lux” considers the wrecked limo, her lips set into a thin angry line and her eyes radiating a cool madness honed by rage. She withdraws a sword from the scabbard on her back and advances towards the limo.

THREE DAYS EARLIER....


The Engineer is seated in the dark, the only illumination proffered up by a monitor upon which the security camera footage of the enigmatic “Lux” is playing on repeat. He reaches the point in the bank footage in which she looses a round into the bank teller's forehead before pausing the recording and hunching forward to gaze into her face.

As much as The Engineer was loathe to admit it, this person bothered him now. And it wasn't simply the invocation of the name “Lux”. It was something deeper than that, a slow simmer that had been building in him that felt like those initial minutes when you are waking up and trying to recall a dream. A cloying, frustrating sense of something poignant and vital just out of reach.

And then, the hair on the back of his neck rose like penitents being bidden to arise by the forgiving mien of God. He was there. In the room with him now. Aiwass.

The Engineer rose, and the beast was standing just in front of the door, but had no need to use it.

[Image: tumblr_oqj25qpNJB1r460jmo4_500.jpg]

Aiwass said nothing at first, leaving his acolyte to fill the gap. We didn't tell you because we didn't want to trouble you.

I already know.

Canting his head a bit, The Engineer replies. You do?

She broke time and space to get here, like Lux. I sensed something was amiss....

Wait...so.... the young man's face goes slack from the shock. Jesus, she's....

Aiwass meets his gaze confidently. She's not Lux. He approaches the monitor, a small hint of a smile tugging at those eerie waxen features. But you have to let her take you. It's the only way this is going to end. The only way she's going to realize the futility of her position.

The Engineer's face was awash in confusion. Who is she?

Now.


Madison's head lolled dreamily as she hung from her seat belt. As she slowly came to, she startled and let out a small shriek when the events of the last couple minutes crept up on her. Touching her body to ensure she was still reasonably intact, she breathed a sigh of relief before looking over at her client. The Engineer was conscious, coughing a bit and already using a small blade to cut away the seat belt. Severing it neatly, he rolls to a kneeling position and looks up at Madison.

Still alive?

Yeah, but..... she shakes her head. Wait a minute, did you KNOW that was going to happen?!

Yes.

Her eyes damn near bug out of her head. WHAT?! What the fuck you-oh, OW! She winces as the whiplash bites into her neck.

I'm sorry. It had to look legit.

What had to look legit?!

“Lux”. She's here. It needs to look like she's winning. We couldn't let her suspect anything was amiss.

Madison's face goes ashen. ...what...?

I'm letting her take me.

WHAT?! Madison barks, trying to winnow her hand towards the release on the seat belt. I don't understand, what the hell-....!

It's the only way this ends.

She'll kill you, you idiot! Madison starts to writhe desperately in her seat.

No. She won't.

Madison catches sight of “Lux” walking towards the limo through the splintered plexiglass. She gasps in fear. Jesus Christ....Jesus FUCKING Christ!

Taking hold of the release on the door, The Engineer thrusts his shoulder up into it, forcing it open. Madison watches him in astonishment. ARE YOU INSANE?

Shut up and stay in here. He hisses back to her before pulling himself up and out of the limo.

Madison, cataleptic with fear and incredulity, can only watch as her client finds purchase on the street and starts to walk towards the psychopath that has been hunting him for almost two weeks. No....no, no, no.....

The reach each other in the center of the intersection, standing mere feet away from each other. “Lux's” blade reflecting the winter sunlight as she bears it at the ready. Madison bites her bottom lip, drawing blood from it as she waits for the end.

In a flash, the assassin's sword rises and the pommel finds purchase on the bridge of The Engineer's nose. He drops to the street.

Three Days Earlier....


Who is she? The Engineer repeats his query, more earnestly this time.

Aiwass cranes his neck to consider the young man. She's Corey Smith's mother, my boy.





TO BE CONTINUED.....

[Image: CoreySig6A.png?width=270&height=406]
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