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Centurion · (02-13-2020)

Centurion: We can go whenever you want...

(There are some sentences that are said that leads a man to instant regret. For a stoned, jet lagged Centurion, this was likely the biggest of them all.

It wasn't so much WHAT he said - Centurion can blend in with most crowds. It's who he said it TO - and that would be his daughter and his sister. His gay daughter and sister. His super gay daughter and super gay sister, who are with their super gay significant others. I'm sure you see what's happening here.

We open up inside Neighbors Nightclub in Seattle, Washington. The place is bumping - loud music is playing and a crowded dance floor is dancing the night away. The layout is pretty sprawl - an open dance floor that sits right off the bar area, and an upper level of tables for onlookers.

All the people dancing look awfully familiar - or, at least, they have a familiar feature - they're mostly all women. That, coupled with the pride flags on the wall and the large amount of photos with Tegan & Sara autographs makes it pretty well known that this is a lesbian club.

On the dance floor, Nellie, Erin, Jocelyn, and Allison are all having the time of their lives. They are dancing near each other, with each respective couple dancing real close. Jocelyn has a glass of wine, because of course she does, while Allison grinds against her from behind.

Sitting at one of the tables overlooking the dance floor are Centurion and Genevieve. Centurion has a high ball of scotch in front of him as he just watches the crowd. Genevieve, meanwhile, is holding a glass of wine while she people watches, thoroughly amused by what she is witnessing.)

Voice: You two certainly stick out like a sore thumb.

(The voice startles Centurion, who turns his head to see the person speaking to him.

[Image: b6CBA7h.png]

Centurion has never met this person before, and he is unsure if this is a fan, or just some random person. She is holding a drink in her hand and is casually leaning up against the table.)

Centurion: Why do you say that?

Voice: Because while your face may say "confused genderqueer", your hair and your clothes say "man in his 40's holding on to his youth."

(Centurion wants to be upset by this person's brash response, but he can't be angry at something so spot on. Instead, he just nods at a seat in front of him, and the woman confidently pulls out the chair and sits down. She takes a sip of her drink before setting it down on the table and folding her arms on top of the table.)

Voice: I'm Gaby.

Centurion: I'm Andy. This is Genevieve.

Gaby: I know who you are...or, rather, I know OF you. I know you're a wrestler. I don't watch myself because I'm not a dork, but I've seen you on TV and stuff.

Centurion: You're pretty...open about your opinions.

Gaby: As a queer woman, I have been told my whole life that I have to watch what I say and who I say it to, and I'm just kind of over that, ya know? If YOU are coming in HERE, then you better be prepared to hear whatever a woman wants to say. Speaking of, why ARE you here?

(Centurion picks up his scotch with one hand and points to the dance floor with the other. He takes a sip as nods over to his four guests.)

Centurion: Somewhere in my life, I walked into a portal, and when I came out the otherside, all the women in my life were gay.

Gaby: Ugh, the dream.

Centurion: And since I always drag them around to heteronormative spaces all the time, I decided to give them the opportunity to choose where we were partying tonight.

Gaby: Oh! So you have a show coming up in Seattle then?

Centurion: Oh, no, we're just coming back from Australia. We live in New Jersey.

Gaby: ...and you just decided to fly into Seattle just to party?

Centurion: It wasn't necessarily going to be Seattle. See...

(Centurion looks around at the people around him, and leans in closer to Gaby while attempting to keep his voice down.)

Centurion: We're a little high...

Gaby: You're in Seattle - everyone's high.

Centurion: ...and we didn't want to just sit on a plane for 36 hours, so that's when I told the ladies to pick a spot. Any spot - it didn't matter. Seattle? Vegas? Boise? I was up for pretty much everything.

Gaby: So you bought a ticket to a city based on their choice?

Centurion: What? Oh, no, we fly private.

(Gaby's eyebrows raise with more intrigue as she moves her body closer to Centurion - partially to hear him better, and partially to flirt with him. Genevieve seems unphased.)

Gaby: You can afford to fly private off of a wrestler's salary?

Centurion: It's not just me. My sister owns the plane. She's part owner of a pretty successful management company. And I used to be a business owner until one of my business partners decided to fuck me...and not in the good way.

Gaby: I was about to ask...

Centurion: But still, I do pretty well for myself now. I guess you could say...people know me.

Gaby: Hey, good for you. Doing well in wrestling, being all woke and shit, all at your age - it's pretty refreshing.

Centurion: Yeah, I have to say it...wait, what do you mean "at my age?" How old do you think I am?!

Genevieve: She said you were in your 40's when she sat down, and you didn't disagree.

(Centurion's combative look turns into one of confusion. He picks up his glass of scotch, as if to blame it for his absent mindedness.)

Centurion: So she did.

(Centurion takes a sip of his scotch. As he does, Gaby stands up from her chair and sits on the booth seat between Centurion and Genevieve. She completely turns her attention towards Genevieve.)

Gaby: And what do you do for a living?

(Genevieve picks up her glass of wine and looks Gaby in the eyes. She gives a slight seductive smile as she puts the glass of wine up to her lips.)

Genevieve: A little bit of everything.

(Genevieve takes a sip of her wine as Gaby raises an eyebrow with a smile.)

Gaby: Mysterious. And with an accent. I like you. What's a young, smooth talking hottie like you doing with a stiff in his 40's? ...no offense.

Centurion: No, I've asked myself that question every day for the past several months.

Genevieve: He's not as stuffy as he seems. Don't tell anyone, but sometimes...he likes to have fun.

Centurion: How dare you? I have a reputation to maintain.

Gaby: You're right - I can see it in his eyes. He's everyone's "Dad friend". He wants to act like the responsible one and watch over people, but deep down, there's a teenager looking to party. Are you a Sagittarius moon or rising, by chance?

(Centurion goes to take another sip of his drink, but he stops and looks dazed at Gaby.)

Centurion: ...I don't know what any of that means.

Genevieve: He's a Leo rising.

(Gaby's eyes widen.)

Gaby: Oh, that makes a LOT of sense!

Genevieve: Right? As a performer?

Gaby: That would make him an...Aries moon?

(Gaby now grins with a seductive grin as Genevieve slowly nods with a grin of her own.)

Gaby: Now I know why you're with him.

Centurion: Ladies, ladies...

(Gaby and Genevieve both turn to look at Centurion.)

Centurion: ...what the fuck are you talking about?

(Gaby and Genevieve both let out a slight laugh as Gaby takes another sip of her drink. She leans back, putting her arms on the back of the booth and, coincidentally, around the neck of both Centurion and Genevieve.)

Gaby: Well, if you're looking to party and this place isn't really your style, I have a place nearby. We can go back there, grab a couple drinks, share some stories.

Centurion: I don't know...that doesn't sound like the best idea.

Gaby: Why not?

Genevieve: Yeah, why not?

(Centurion's eyes widen. He is not surprised by Gaby's very open attempt at riding a tricycle; however, he is taken back by Genevieve's response - not just her willingness, but rather a sense of eagerness. The more Centurion learns about this woman, the most mysteries are uncovered. Centurion picks up his scotch and downs the rest of the glass.)

Centurion: Fuck it. Let's go. I swear, you're going to be the death of me.

------Put the needle on a record and I make her get lower than a Lamborghini.------

YES!

That's what I wanted! That's what I've been waiting for!

The last time Robbie and I faced each other, he seemed...not himself. Sure, he completely destroyed Chris Chaos verbally, but let's be honest...it isn't that difficult to do. When I came to talking smack about me, though, he just didn't seem to have...it.

Don't get me wrong, he still brought the fight to me, but after all this talk about the "great wit of Robbie Bourbon", the whole thing just left me a little disappointed. Well, apparently he got the message this time, because he came out swinging!

Penis jokes! Yes! Who doesn't love a good penis joke? Hell, Peter Gilmour is one large, walking penis joke - in the sense that he's both a joke and a dick. HBO is at an all time high in viewership, why? It's not because of quality programing - it's because of full frontal dong. Dicks will never not be funny.

...though, it is kind of ironic that I'm getting "micropenis" jabs thrown at my from someone who hasn't seen his OWN penis in years. And no, that's not because of the "blind" thing - that's because of the "husky physique" thing.

This is all an assumption, of course. Unlike Robbie, I really don't focus my attention too much on other wrestler's genitalia. No, I'm to busy actually winning wrestling matches.

I noticed you didn't talk about that much, Robbie. I noticed you didn't mention how I haven't lost a wrestling match since August, while you're only win in the past several months was against a man so dillusional that he created his own Hall of Fame just for himself. No, you wanted to go to the "old" well. You wanted to point out how I talk about the "old eras" and how things "used to be" as if I'm not relevant now.

Newsflash, fucker - I'm still strutting around with the title while you're doing jobs to Azrael Erebus. I can bring up the past because I was great THEN, just like I'm great NOW. I have been the most consistent wrestler in XWF history, while you're career has been one giant rollercoaster, going from main eventer to certain jerker in only a few shows. I don't "shake my fist" at the young wrestlers - I make them prove their worth, and thus far, very few have done it.

Therein lies the problem you, and all these other wrestlers who didn't come up the ranks with me, actually have with me - not only do I talk a lot about the past, but you can't do a damn thing to shut me up. And that pisses you off. It's one thing to be Chris Page - he talks about how great he was and his past accomplishments and he loses almost every time he's in the ring. It's another thing to be me - where I say you all suck, and you line up one by one to prove it.

Is this "kissing my own ass"? Sure. Welcome to pro wrestling, my guy. There isn't a single wrestler worth a damn who doesn't talk themselves up on a week to week basis. A lot of guys act all cocky and arrogant without doing anything to prove it. I've at least backed up every word I've spoken.

I understand why you would want to put down me and my title reign, though. It makes all the sense in the world. Engineer humbled you and made you see - no pun intended - that you're not a legit contender, and since you know you'll never actually beat that scrawny fucker, you have to kiss his ass and make everyone think he's the cock of the walk, and the rest of us - me, Fuzz, pretty much the entire locker room - are just weak little pansies who can't hold a candle to a real champion.

I mean, fuck, that's exactly what I would do if I was in your situation...fortunately for me, I never am.

Congratulations, Robbie. You've failed upward. You got a Universal Title shot that you didn't earn, and you didn't embarrass yourself, and you've translated that into another title opportunity. I respect the hustle, there's no doubt, but you need to be honest with yourself. You're not here because you won a grueling match. You're not here because you pinned me in a non title match. You're not here because you won a tournament.

You were gifted a title shot. That's it.

It's as fine of a reason as any, honestly. I've had to face wrestlers who seemed to come out of nowhere just to challenge me for the belt. Remember Hammer Von Hugendong? Three matches, got a title shot, I killed him, and now he's out making strudel or something. At least with you, it like "well, he loses a bunch, but he's been around a while and he's decent, so why not?"

Robbie Bourbon - Why Not?

You're a stop gap, Rob. You're a bridge between me and my next real competitor. Nothing more. You're hear to make me sweat because the XWF knows Gilmour is going to get thrown in the trash again and they don't want me going into a pay per view with little to no competition in front of me. But the end result is not in doubt.

The fact that you even think, with no eyes, coming off a two match losing streak, in the very match type I won my belt in, that you even have a sliver of a chance is downright delusional. I get it - you're a big dude that people respect, but let's be truthful here. You couldn't beat me at your best. You had your chance, and you couldn't do it. Was it Chris Chaos' fault? Maybe, but still, that was a Robbie Bourbon with SIGHT. That was a Robbie Bourbon firing on all cylinders. This Robbie Bourbon? This is a shell - a man in a meat suit and a mask looking for some clout.

Oh, and stop with the "Centurion is scared of me" bullshit. I know every wrestler has to say that, but its disgusting when its such a blatant lie. First of all, you know I'm not afraid of you. You're saying that because you have to. It's the "pro wrestling thing to say". But there isn't a person on this planet that thinks that, not even you. I made it pretty clear that I have no issues with you being in the match - I just questioned WHY. I questioned the timing of it. I personally don't give a shit which member of the Line Of Jobbers gets in the ring first - you, Gilly, Atara, Chaos, Tristan Slater - all of you are going to be put in the ground. I just thought it would be best for you to be at the BACK of that line...you know, when your healthy and actually stand a chance? Fuck me for wanting to make this match interesting, am I right?

Whatever night you think you're in for, Rob...you're sadly mistaken. You can throw your weight around and intimidate almost everyone, but that shit doesn't work on me. I've faced bigger, scarier, crazier, stronger, and more talented. There is literally nothing you can do in the ring that I haven't already seen. That's the thing about being the "Indiana Jones of the XWF" - while you might think you're original, I just see you as another carbon copy of someone I've already faced before. So do your worst, Robbie. Slam my head against the glass. Throw me in the air. Sit on me from a great height. Do whatever you can do beat me, because I promise you...I PROMISE you...you won't be able to dish out nearly as much punishment as I'll be giving to you. And when I leave you broken and battered in a pool of glass and blood, you'll know that there's certain people you don't fuck with, and I'm at the top of that list.

....again, with all due respect.

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