Comrades, Boris will not be able to give best effort this week, as I am sick. I know what you think, but nu, it is not hangover. Boris does not get hangover. Mayonez is natural cure for that. Boris is sick because he drank orange water in Pensive Valley.



Is not beer, blin, and is not orange soda. Is something called Acid Mine Drainage, and it will rot the stomach of a Slav.

This no fair cyka! Is not the fault of Boris that the people of Pensive Valley can not clean water. In Slovakia, if you want water, you drink water! Is no problem! But in America, richest country in world, you can not drink water from stream? Capitalism is a cancer blin.

Is ok, because Boris has plan. Everyone in match on Archer have problem with each other. Noel Jackson, Atari Teams, Adjunct Scott - they all have history with each other. Aye, but Boris has no history with anyone. I like all people blin!

...except Western spies...which all three are.

So plan is simple - let Western spies beat each other up, and pin whoever is most hurt. It is genius blin! Poor Boris will be outside of ring, puking chemicals into bucket, and when opponent finally is knocked out, I give them the old Gopnik 3 count! Oppa!

Pensive Valley, despite your attempt to poison Boris, I still plan to bring the gospel of the cheeki breeki to all the little children. I will be like Slav groundhog - I see shadow, and you get six more weeks of cheeki breeki! Aye, and Boris always sees his shadow!