A sudden jolt followed by a loud screech of metal on metal for a few seconds has Shane looking pleased – "Ah, that was quick; sometimes it takes twice as long" says Shane through a haze of Page smoke. Slater seems to object just a tad, with "Quick? A 20-something minute elevator ride is quick? And why did it need to 'stop to refuel' halfway here? And WHY the FUCK are you smoking HAIR!?" – Certainly a valid question as the two of them stand in that smoke filled elevator, don't you think?


"Maybe elevator is the wrong word. Don't fret, though... we just both like smoking CCP in different ways. You literally just said at the end of part 1 of this collaboration promo effort, that you're going to smoke him!" A hint of excitement is starting to pick up in Shane's tone as, "Oh!! That reminds me! Elyon plans to upgrade the technology here at The HOT in mid 2020! I'm told the 20 minute ride we just took will be shortened to about 0 seconds!"


Slater stops and looks Shane in the eyes. "A 20 minute ride shortened to 0 seconds? Come on, Shane. Look..." Tristan stops and ponders things mentally as reality starts to set in. ”This is all bullshit, right? You're fucking with me?" The doors to the elevator slowly pry themselves open as a flood of bright neon blue and green light eagerly invades their space, bringing an entirely new life into what felt like an old prison cell just moments prior. Details on the elevator walls resembling ancient hieroglyphics suddenly become remarkably vibrant as a result of being basked in blankets of neon illumination.


The lights are so powerful they cause Shane and Tristan to hold their hands up in front of their faces at first, despite wearing those stylish black Rayban Predators over their eyes for protection. "Sometimes in this life, my friend, there is more than meets the lens. Sometimes there's room for reality to seep into what we like to call inreality - the state of a conscious being having convinced itself that its limited confinement is, in fact, as grand as our universe's imagination really expands. When you're the subject of INreality, how can reality find its way INto you? Under typical circumstances, you'd be outside of its reach."


"Tristan, I need you to understand that everything you've learned since your childhood all the way up until now has been a byproduct of a fairy tale someone else conjured up aeons ago for the sole purpose of facilitating a platform through which a vast series of limitations and reductions actually resulted in a new way to experience... existence."


What the hell did Shane just say? I hope some of you guys are able to make sense of this better than I can, but then again I'm just an idiot narrator so at least I get a pass.


Shane goes on as Slater crosses his arms and looks a bit perplexed. "For example, even something as simple as having to WONDER what the person standing in front of you is thinking, is an INTENTIONAL limitation that creates avenues for a vast array of passions and arts that may be used to express thyself. Our personal favorite of those arts? War."


"The barriers separating our thoughts are synthetic alterations meant to give us an illusion of independence and a yearning for communication. EVERYTHING we know in this world is in place to counter-act reality by creating the inreal musical we call life. Everything is meant for you to understand, so you never even have a chance at tickling that bone deep inside your loins that would allow you to innerstand." Shane gestures to an imaginary dog on the floor as he singsongs, "You roll over and understand your inreality, while I stand tall and innerstand reality. Good boy!" Shane motions like he's petting the invisible dog.


"Come on, Shane. Things like this usually can be explained as some lame ass gimmick for those that need to add a layer or two because they’re not capable of being professional wrestlers.”


”Ah, but let's flip that script, shall we? Let's shine reality down upon it and all of a sudden what do we see but an excuse? What if all those people who jump at the chance to refer to gimmicks, are just lazy shit heads with absolutely NO clue who their enemy even is?"


"In this example, I'm going to pretend all political struggles and wars are what the media leads you to believe they are. In said storyline, what if the United States had assumed Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden were just weirdos running gimmicks? Could you imagine if that was the president's response? NEVER make the mistake of admitting that you have no clue how to gauge what an unfamiliar force might be capable of. Always accept that there's room for reality, because as alluded to before, not much reality is programmed to be detected within the ambit of default sensory settings."


Hands on his hips, Tristan watches as the neon lights continue seizing throughout the elevator. ”I know I’ve heard some crazy things over the last several weeks… but this is insane… or is it?"


"I think you're starting to get it. I innerstand that it's a lot to swallow right now. You're going to be seeing a lot of things that make you question everything you've ever known, but for now, I want to introduce you to someone very special to me – very special to our entire movement."


"Great. Is this going to be some swamp creature with 3 heads?"


"WHAAAAT??? Why, no... not at all. I'm pretty sure you'll recognize him as being a 'normal human being' just like yourself. Not only is he one of the most brilliant minds to ever grace this planet, but he's also one of the most beloved Twitter users of all time! Some of his tweets are pure gold, my friend."


"Alright? So it's a normal person? I can deal with that." Tristan seems pleased to know he's not going to be projected into some nutbag situation, but instead will be introduced to....................



…...............










…....











….
















ELON MUSK!!!




Shane and Tristan enter a large area that somewhat resembles the bridge of a space craft, but much filthier and smokier. Once again we see unfamiliar technology that seems ancient, yet easily superior to our own.


"Tristan, I'd like you to meet Elyo-" Shane quickly pauses after receiving a warning glance from behind the wall of smoke. "Err uh Elon Musk!"


Elon politely offers whatever he's smoking to Tristan, asking if he'd "Care for some OG CCP?"


"Oh no, not you too. No thanks, I don't smoke HAIR. A pleasure to meet your acquaintance otherwise, sir." Tristan reaches out to shake Elon's hand but Elon tries handing him the blunt, which turns into a very awkward exchange as Slater switches to try and shake the other hand but Musk places the blunt in his other hand first, than back again, etc... Musk doesn't seem to be playing games as this all seems like natural confusion and awkwardness on his part. Must be on some good shit.


As Tristan finally works out how to shake Elon's hand without accepting CCP smoke, we catch a glimpse not to far away of The Engineer with his back to the others, intently watching a display screen that appears to be playing one of Robbie Bourbon's FUN Wrestling. The Engineer half turns his head and asks, "Dad? When are you going to watch more FUN Wrestling with me?"


Tristan is all kinds of WTF? o_O as he overhears their exchange. Shane was quick to respond to The Engineer with a loving, "We'll do that soon. After having to deal with CCP and Main, I'm about due for something fun, son!"


Alright now explain that one? He used to be a she and is also your son??


"Oh," Shane's eyebrows peak, "that's right, you're not in on it. It's just a little something we're doing because Robbie's a ."


"Main?"


"Bourbon."


"Ugh..."


"No shit."


All this time, Elon Musk has been studying Shane and Tristan as if he's enthralled by a Van Gogh masterpiece. His eyes trace the seams of their jackets; the details of their sunglasses; the movement of their lips... To Elon in his stoned trance, they were surely a bewitching sight as they discussed Robbie Bourbon's lack of mental capacity.


"How can I get a hold of Robbie directly?!?" blurts Elon, interrupting Shane and Tristan's small talk about .


Shane's chuckling through his, "What??" and Elon starts to take some deep drags of his hand rolled "chronic" treat, seemingly ignoring Shane altogether now.


"Anyway, what was I saying about Robbie the >


Slater rolls his eyes and throws his hands up with a harsh, "Fuck Bourbon!!!!"


Shane's jaw drops. So does Engineer's! Musk is just not phased.


”Look, talking about all this other happy horse shit is all well and good but now it’s time we address what is actually important and that's Chris Page and Robert Main. I’m not going to have myself dropping a match to those two jack offs because our eyes aren’t on the prize.”


Shane smirks, slowly nodding as he says, "And this is exactly why we're a team – I'm like the plumberchef making sure the toilets don't over flow with shit, totally covered from head to toe with shit. Endless shit. All over me. Shit. Then you're the clean-cut host telling all of our guests what they want to hear before they sit down for dinner, which they have no idea I'm the one preparing in the back. Shit. This is why we'll cover so much ground together and murder so many pieces of shit! Let 'em have it!" Shane has fire and passion in his eyes after describing that scene with such eloquence.


Tristan's eyes momentarily widened as he processed Shane's words. Tristan’s expression changes back to one of seriousness as his attention shifts directly into the camera and he states...


”Chris Page…”


A slick grin graces the face of Slater as he mentions Page’s name. Shane is rubbing his hands together in anticipation for the feast we're about to witness!


"It's MUKBANG time! You guys are FUCKED!"


Slater's concentration never even broke, as he kept his eyes focused right on the camera and proceeded to address CCP with conviction, ”You issued a challenge to me and the first thing I’m going to do is answer it because in your mind you seem to think my lack of response somehow means I’m intimidated by you. Your challenge for a match on Savage has OFFICIALLY been accepted!”


The smirk slips off Tristan’s face as he intently gazes into the camera.


”Chris not only has your challenge been accepted but I’m not even going to make you wait for the stipulation because I’m prepared to name that too! I’ll meet you on the next edition of Savage and I’m going to meet you in a Savage Saturday Night Street Fight! But before we get there we must first get through this Steel Cage affair and I must say I toasted you in my first promo to the point that I don’t have a whole lot to say to you at the moment. I heard ALL of your insults and your entire knock out shots yet here I stand."


"Ego has always been your Achilles Heel and it’s never been more evident than it is right now. You used to boast and brag about being one of the “most watched” superstars on the roster yet it seems lately you’ve become one of the least watched, and do you know why? Because you’re boring as fuck. You do absolutely nothing to separate yourself other than talk shit. You pride yourself on awards you’ve won like the past means a goddamn thing in the present. Unlike Shane or anyone else I’ll give you credit for at one time being a top tier talent within this industry… but this isn’t 2010. You cling to this business because you literally can’t do anything else; everyone sees right through you."


"I will enjoy raking your face across the cold mesh steel."


"I will enjoy busting you wide open and watching you bleed like a stuffed pig."


"I will enjoy giving you a small taste of what lies ahead of you on Savage Saturday Night."


Shane is smacking his lips and licking his fingertips as he interjects, "Best meal I've had in a while. I love shredded CCP. What about Main, though? Is it just me, or does Robert Main have this air about him like he thinks he's in our league? I know it's batshit crazy to even suggest, but it feels like he thinks he's somebody. I mean this fucking told me my unborn kids should be terminated so they don't become 'unscrupulous schmuck sleaze balls just like their bastard father' and man, those are some BIG words — It's like he thinks he carries weight, and I don't see where it's coming from. His threats confuse me, Tristan."


"Oh my God, did you hear how that cock sucker tried to downplay me? Good job on doing EXACTLY what I knew you'd do, Main. Downplay me like I’m nothing when you’re the guy that was content WINNING the belt like a cunt with a briefcase cash in as opposed to winning it straight up, not to mention all of your success comes when your top challengers are Big D or Mastermind, kudos!"


"So please, Robert, continue to downplay me like I haven’t been in the same position as you when it came to carrying this company; I simply did it BEFORE you and did it when the company actually meant something. Keep throwing your nose up in the air pretending that you’re so much better than me when I’ve accomplished what you haven't… GRAND SLAM CHAMPION bitch! Shane knows who I am, Chris knows who I am, and more importantly the rest of the world knows just who the fuck I am… so might I suggest you stop being a lazy little prick and do your fucking homework on just who the hell you’re stepping into the ring with because at this point it’s entirely too late in the ballgame and I’m going to slap you in the face with my dick come Cunt-Fest."


The camera cuts back over to Shane, who is swallowing hard and there's a large visible mass that can be seen slowly creeping down his throat as he does. Tristan's mouth just freezes as he was about to say something else. Shane swallows again, even harder, letting out a satisfied belch and a satisfactory, "Aaaaaah, that hit the spot. Omega is one of my favorite dishes. So good, but SO messy," as he sucks the tips of his fingers clean.


"It's absolutely astonishing on incomprehensible levels just how much better you are than him, Tristan. I mean, you already slaughtered him verbally but it's hard to stop thinking about the way we all saw you:
-WIN the top title fairly
-get cashed in on by Mark Flynn
-WIN IT RIGHT BACK from him...
-get cashed in on by Scorpio later...
-only to WIN IT RIGHT BACK from him too!!!!!"


"Nothing can better illustrate.."

Robert "I use briefcases but can't overcome them" Main
- vs -
Tristan "I never use briefcases and overcome them 100% of the time" Slater

"..than simply looking at their history involving cash ins! HA!"


"Robert, you addlepated scrote – Your entire legacy here when it comes to the top title is that you're the ANTI-Tristan Slater! Everything he did right as the top champ, you've done exactly WRONG! HAHAHAHA!!!"


Slater actually starts laughing too because it's just so true and so sad how unequal he and Main are. They both try to calm down but when you're laughing at the expense of Robert Main, it takes some time..............


Slater then continues with a smirk, "Sorry Robert, sometimes even I forget how bad you really are."


"I’m going to bottom line this here and now when it comes to what the fuck is going to happen when Shane and I enter that Cage to do battle with the two of you. We’re not only going to break your bones; we’re going to break your fucking pride as well. Neither one of you are going to be able to save face when you’re exposed as the overrated has-beens you’ve become. I’m prepared to lose blood; I’m prepared to leave it all inside that ring and I’m prepared for a hospital stay if need be because I’m going to put it all on the line to ensure that the last thing either of you hear the moment that final bell tolls is the ring announcer saying… “The winners of this contest, THE Tristan Slater and Shameless Shane !”


"… and as Chris has said before… "


"That’s not a prediction… that’s a spoiler."


Shane is back to acting like he was eating. He stops and looks like a deer in the headlights when he hears "spoiler" said by Tristan. "Oh. Oh fuck me. They were spoiled?!?!? Shit!" Shane starts gagging and pulling imaginary chunks of food from down inside of his gullet, but him forcing his fingers down makes him really start to gag and he upchucks some frothy pink chunks all over himself. Tristan's eyes are wide as can be as he mouths "holy shit" to himself. Elon Musk tosses Shane an oil stained rag as The Engineer walks toward Shane, swirling what looks to be a sludgy black beverage in a long stemmed wine glass.


Shane eventually just starts laughing heartily, looking at the camera and spitting some pink vomit at it.


The last thing we hear is Elon Musk's voice chiming in suddenly, "Oh, Tristan, I almost forgot! I've got something of yours.." as Shane immediately adds an "Oh yeah! That's right!" before spitting at the camera again, repeatedly, until it finally just cuts out. Apparently we aren't meant to see "it" just yet.