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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "C*nt Fest" RP Board
Some More Of That Vita Shit...
Author Message
Vita Frickin Valenteen Offline
Vicious Frickin Vampire



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
01-20-2020, 10:16 AM




PROLOUGE



Shane + Money = Slap Centy.


Slap Centy = Centy crying for a match.


Centy crying for a match = ”NO!”


”NO!” = Centy saying oh well, and moving on.


Centy saying oh well, and moving on = ”OPEN CHALLENGE!!”


”OPEN CHALLENGE!!” = Centy getting so mad that he GIFTS me a free title shot!!


Centy getting so mad that he GIFTS me a free title shot!! =


Smooth Transition



”Yeah, yeah, say whatever you want Centy! Tell everybody how I’ve ducked you all these months, too scared to actually get in the ring with you. Tell’em how I’m just a degenerate punk kid whos all bark and no bite! I know that bullets in the chamber, and you’re just itching to pull the trigger. Heck, you could even say that my changing this match from the expected to an arm wrestling match was just another way for me to avoid the totally legendary butt kicking that you’d surely rain down on me!! The truth is, even if your geezer eyes are too old to see it, I’ve spent the past four months ignoring you because, honesty, you were nothing to me! Why should I give a rats bootie-patootie if you want a match? What the heck did I have to gain from ever saying yes?”


Vita throws her arms up sarcastically.


”OH!!”


“OOH!!”


“Hey everyone, look!! I beat that old guy with the creaky old knees in a match that came together all because Centurion’s a crybaby little bitch!!”


“Um… No thanks!”


“I’ve had far more important things taking my time than risking my body in a match against “Oh by the way guys, in case you forgot (WE DID!!) I’m a legend…”


“Tell me, what was in it for me, huh?”


“Why would I accept that match?”


“I’d have to be a frickin’ idiot, right?”


“I mean, I had the choice between a match revolving around you, and your lust for revenge, or my advancing clear to the semi finals of Lethal Lottery, where the only man, woman, or Mastermind who stood ANY CHANCE of stopping me had lady luck on his side and moved on to be the sickest cunt of the night, and the entire reason why Cunt-Fest is going to be the sickest show on the planet!!”


“Yeah, I think I chose correctly…”


“Besides, we’ve all seen what your idea of vengeance looks like…


“Christ man, they had to amputate EDWARD’s frickin’ hand because of what you did to him!!”


“And YOU expect ME to say yes to a match that has fuck all to gain for me?”


“Yeah, get bent!!”


“BUT!!”


“What I could do!! Would do!! AND DID DO!!


“Was simply string you along, dangling that carrot just out of reach while I sought out challenges that would weigh a little bit better on that ole’ risk verses reward scale, ya know? I had a pretty stellar showing through out the Lethal Lottery tournament. I met my new BESTIE!! Ruby, who convinced me to start being a better person!!”


“AND!!”


“I’ve had all the fun shooing you off every time you tried to stick your fat nose in my business!!”


“Ann you know, I’ve gotta admit that it really did surprise me how little fight you’ve had in you this entire time. Every-Single-Time I shooed you off, you left…”


“No fuss, no muss, just… Gone.”


“What am I to think of that, huh? Are you afraid to hit a woman?”


“Well, no, obviously not, because here we are. So what was it Cent? Why were you always so quick to fuck off? Furthermore, why did you choose now of all times to finally make your move?”


“You said it was because you’re tired of facing hacks that offer no real challenge. Obviously I’m paraphrasing here, but that’s basically what you said, and I have to question how you can say that you’ve been fighting nothing but hacks up until now one minute, and then say that I took advantage of you after a grueling match with Thunder Knuckles? Sure, You’ve faced your share of Gilmours and Von Bonns, and one would argue that the XWF’s resident leader of the job squad could easily be bundled right along with those guys, but the fact is that did dude nearly beat you!!”


“I know, I know… Nearly… Like who cares about nearly? Well right here and now, I do. Why? Because if you struggled so much to defeat TK, a guy that I am not only undefeated against, but have decisively put away in under a minute every time that we faced off, then how can you pretend to be so confident about the outcome here?”


“Tell me, what do you see when you look at me? Forget all that bull crap you said about my potential and seeing me as Universal champion down the line, we all know that’s just you trying desperately to NOT get booed out of the building by my faithful Australian fans at Cunt-Fest. So with you’re insincere assessment of me out of the way, what’s left? What do you see?”


“A girl, which in and of itself doesn’t mean much. I’m not trying to call you out for being a misogynist, but I am calling you out for seeing what you perceive as a weaker opponent that you can take advantage of. I’m giving up seven-inches in height, sixty-eight-pounds in weight, like a billion years in experience, and admittedly, I haven’t been on the best run as of late. Mix that all together and what do we have left? Centurion looking for another easy defence and by proxy, a measure of revenge for events that everyone else have pretty much forgotten about.”


“See, you think that you’re clever, you think that after failing to win Lethal Lottery and coming up short against Noah for the TV title, that I’m prime pickings to help boost your stock around here. You thought, hey, Vita’s record isn’t looking so hot lately, but she seems to have WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more fan support than I do. Maybe I can use here to draw some interest back my way?”


“Well, no… Because even if you do win, heck, even if this were an actual match and you hit all your spots to put me away, the result would still be the same. I’d be beloved, and you’d just be here giving the fine folks at home an excuse to take a piss break and grab a bear!”


“Face it Centy, you’re boring. Nobody cares what you have to say, and nobody cares what you do in the ring!! You should be waking up everyday and kissing Masterminds feet, because his inclusion on the active roster is the ONLY reason that you’re not called out for your sleep inducing promo’s and lopsided matches that are designed to try and polish a turd, YOU, into something not a turb, IMPOSSIBLE!!”


“Legend, pffft!!”


“You want to see what a legend looks like? Look no further than Fuzz!!”


“The dude came back to the XWF and proved his legendary status, and he didn’t do it by stealing a belt from a burnt out champion who was at the end of his rope and desperately in need of a break to get his shit back together. Sure, Tony Santos is pretty good. He proved it for five straight months, but in the end, he wasn’t at the same level that he was when he began that run, and it was totally obvious to everyone!! So yeah, you beat a name, but that’s all you beat, and everyone knew it!! The same story can be told about your defense against Mastermind. Look, there’s no love lost between me and MM, but I know first hand what that dude can do, and I saw the stark difference between that, and what he brought in his title challenge against you. He wasn’t near the top of his game, but hey, what do you care, that’s another “name” on the list, and another step in you “proving” how good you are, were, want to be? Whatever.”


“Fuzz on the other hand came in, set his sights on his goals, and so far as achieved them all!! At Lethal Lottery, he and Chris Page defeated the super duo of “The Banana Lime Blur” Ruby, and the hottest new superhero in the XWF today, “The Pink Mist”!! He then went on later in that night to secure victories over both Chris Page AND Vinnie Lane!! He walked out of LL with his title still in hand, a 24/7 briefcase, a shot at the Tag Titles for The Sick Cunts, AND AN ENTIRE PAY-PER-VIEW dedicated to him!!”


“What have you done other than take advantage of burnt out talent, savagely attack and cripple mentally challenged neanderthals, and get made to look like a total fool by me?”


“Yeah dude, at every turn, but hey, I hope you enjoy the career boost that our totally awesome ARM WRESTLING MATCH brings you!!”


“HAHAHA!!



Gonna Fly Now!!



The scene opens to an undisclosed beach. Amjetkun is double fisting hot dogs into his gullet when he notices Vita stretching in the sand. He spits out about a dozen half chewed hotdogs just to yell at her.


“Bro, what the fuck are you doing!?”


”I’m stretching out…” she said, confused why Socio was yelling at her so.


“Bro!”


“BRO!”


“BROOOO!”


“That yoga shit is no good bro! Stop that shit right now!”


Vita shrugs her shoulders and mouths the word “what” since she’s totally not doing yoga, but instead just trying to limber up before whatever weird workout Amjetkun has planned for her.


“If you aren’t using weights, you’re wasting your time! Now get up and put these on!”


Amjetkun produces a weighted vest that he’s modified by duct taping a couple of 45 pound iron plates to the back of.


”Seriously?”


“Yeah bro, seriously!”


Vita takes the vest and straps it on while Amjetkun explains her task for the day.


“I’ve just got one thing for you to do today bro. Do you see that island over there?”


Vita peers out into the ocean, and sure enough, she does see an island that appears to be a few miles off the coast.


”Um, yeah?”


“Cool, I want you to swim to that island and back!”


”WHAT!?”


“Yeah bro, there’s nothing better for building your core than swimming, so I want you to swim there and back!”


”I can’t swim that far, especially with this on!” Vita points to the vest she’s wearing. ”I’ll drown!!”


“No way bro! Only pussies drown, are you a pussy!?”


”That… huh!!?”


“I asked if you’re a pussy bro!?”


”Um.. No?”


“Then stop acting scared! Only pussies are scared of water, and you’re not a pussy, you’re a rock hard warrior, and rock hard warriors have nothing to fear bro!”


Vita looks out to the island again, and quickly realizes that she still has her doubts about this one.


”Yeah, I’m not doing that.”


Abrupt Scene Break!!



”Hey, time out!!


“There’s something that I need to address!”


“Recently, Sarah Lacklan made some pretty disparaging remarks about me in one of her more recent promos and I feel the need to set the record straight.”


“First of all, I’m eighteen years old, and in my life time, I’ve dated two guys. Yeah, yeah, I lived a pretty sheltered life as a kid. Anyway, I dated Corey for a couple of months, but he was just a little too weird for me. I mean, look at what the dude has going on now. He’s apparently manifested a third personality and thinks that he’s The Engineer. Prior to that, he was a futuristic assassin and an addict that OD'd… Obviously that was never going to be a healthy relationship, and I needed to get away from him ASAP. The other guy is my current boyfriend, and I’m confident to say, the love of my life, Noah Jackson. There’s no doubt that God put us on this planet with the intention of us finding one another, because only great things happen when we’re together!”


“So with that said, call me a whore one more time and see what happens!”



Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Training Session



High above the ocean a helicopter zooms through the air. In its wake it leaves a tiny falling blur of pink. That ball of pink? Vita Valenteen falling at terminal velocity to the water below!


”SON OF A BIIIIIiiiittccchhh”


*SPLASH!!*


Don’t let that splash fool you. She hit the water so hard that it might as well have been cement.


I guess this is the end.


She’s likely dead from the impact, but even if not, she’ll drown soon enough, and there’s nobody there to save her.


Centurion is going to be so pleased.


Now he doesn’t have to look like an idiot when he loses his title to a girl in an arm wrestling match while being forced to wear a dress.


Sure, he acted like he wasn’t bothered by the idea of wearing a dress.


It’s 2020 he said.


No big deal…


He even said he’d make the dress look good.


HA!


Not with those pasty white chicken legs he won’t!!


Besides, if he was REALLY that comfortable wearing a dress, then why doesn’t he just go full tranny and wear one everyday?


Hell, he could even find a more successful career as bit player in one of Barney Green’s promos.


Oh well, doesn’t matter. Like I said, Vita is likely dead.


”SCREW YOU SOCIO!!”


Oh hey, maybe not!


Vita surprisingly breaks through the top of the water gasping for air! Her entire body hurts from the impact. Have you ever belly flopped from a helicopter to a body of water? It’s not pleasant, that’s for sure. Even still, she finds the willpower to push forward. She can’t die here, she has so much to live for! Not least of all, taking Centurion’s belt. She MUST push forward! So she does! She swims and swims for what feels like hours. In that time the island that she’s swimming towards seems just as far away as when she started.


Tired and in pain with nobody to help her Vita begins to sob. It seems that the ocean was her greatest enemy. Not Sarah Lacklan, not Centurion, not Vincent Lane, but a body of water. This is it, she thinks, this is where my story ends… She begins to sob, utterly defeated by the challenge ahead of her...


Abrupt Scene Break!!



”Okay, time the frick out AGAIN!!”


“It has just come to my attention that Atara had some words for me concerning her… Ah-Hem!! “MATCH” with my Noah!! Listen bitch, I trust Noah. The person that I haven’t trusted in all of this is YOU!! You came into this company playing all nicey nice, tossing out support for me, TK, The Sick Cunts, you worked hard to fly under the radar and try to position yourself into a more favorable spot. You needed friends, right? Well you had them. Emphasis on the word HAD!! Because I see you for the snake in the grass that you really are!! What’s the game huh? You want to be associated with the Sick Cunts? You wanna take my man? I can’t blame you, he’s the cutest guy to pass through the XWF hallways in like, ever, but he’s mine! And I’ll totally cut any bitch that tries to come between us!!”


“As far as your suggestion that Noah could just walk away from this match, no, no he can’t. See, I don’t know how you do things little miss prissy, but Noah didn’t become the sickest of cunts by handing over titles to airheads whose mind games are about as effective as an ashtray on a motorcycle!!”


“So no, Noah WILL NOT be dropping his title to you, but I WILL be watching that “MATCH” very closely, and if you step out of line with your playboy bunny routine, we’re going to have a real issue to deal with, understand!!?”



Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Training Session



What’s this?


Oh shit!! It’ve Vita Valentine emerging from the water!!


She somehow managed to make it all the way to the island!!


Amjetkun stands on the shore, stuffing Porterhouse steaks in his mouth as if they were potato chips. He smiles and waves as Vita marches up the shore towards him.


[Image: POW.png]


Oh shit, she just KNOCKED HIM THE FUCK OUT!!


“What the fuck bro!!” He said while rubbing his jaw.


Okay, maybe she just knocked him on his ass...


















[Image: VVbatlogosm.png]

1x Anarchy Champion
1x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
1x Lord Of Violence (March 2022)
2x Tag Team Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
3x Heavy Metalweight Champion
1x Federweight Champion
24/7 Briefcase Winner - March 2019
2019 Tweener Of The Year

Match History
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[-] The following 10 users Like Vita Frickin Valenteen's post:
(01-20-2020), Atara Raven (01-20-2020), Chris Page (01-20-2020), Noah Jackson (01-21-2020), Peter Fn Gilmour (01-22-2020), red-x (01-23-2020), Robert "The Omega" Main (01-20-2020), Theo Pryce (01-20-2020), Thunder Knuckles™ (01-20-2020), Tony Santos (01-20-2020)




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