Thunder Knuckles and Jimmy are in an undisclosed location waiting on Jim Jimson to arrive. They are both dressed in black business suits.


You did tell Jim “the Jim” Jimson where to meet us, right Thunder Knuckles?

Of course, I did!

Well, he’s late... You know what happens if we’re late…

Jimmy, just shut the fuck up. Jim will be here. I know it.


A few minutes after Thunder Knuckle exclaimed his position to Jimmy, a cab pulls up. The cab has Jim Jimson in it...Jim Jimson opens the cab door I could show up in a dolphin costume holding a suit, sunglasses, and bandana in his hands, Thunder Knuckles and Jimmy stare at Jim Jimson.


JJ: What? You told me to bring it, not wear it.

Jim, what the fuck are you wearing? Change into the other clothing!





JJ: Ok, ok, I’ll change.


Jim goes into an alleyway and changes.


Can we trust Jim to do this job? He won’t even wrestle with you.

He’ll do the job, Jimmy. Just shut the fuck up.


Jim walks out of the alleyway in a blue suit.


Dammit, you're meant to have a black suit, it's better than a dolphin suit. Okay, you two. Let's get inside and go over the plan.


Thunder Knuckle Jimmy and Jim Jimson all walk inside what looks to be an old bodega. Once inside, it looks like a criminals bat cave. If anyone knew where this was, they would hit the criminal lottery.


Alright, Jim did you bring the things I asked you to bring?

JJ: Yeah, I got the bandana and Sunglasses.

Awesome. So, here's the plan we’re robbing a bank.

What the fuck?!


Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy so fast that, Jimmy, had no time to adjust for it.


Shut the fuck up, Jimmy, you knew who we were working for. Don’t act like you're surprised now.

I just didn’t think he’d make us do this. Why now?

Does it matter, Jimmy?

I suppose you're right.


Thunder Knuckles's attention is focused back on Jim Jimson.


Anyway, this is an important job we have to pull off. I’m not going to get into the reasons why or who is behind all this, but it has to be done. So, the plan is if I'm not interrupted again.


Thunder Knuckles stares meanly at Jimmy. Then he looks back at Jim Jimson.


We’re going to go in right before close and Jimmy is gonna shit in a corner grabbing everyone's attention.

Why do I have to be the one who shit in the corner? My face might make the local news when this is over.

SHUT UP, JIMMY!

While they’re busy taking Jimmy out of the building. That's where we come into play, Jim.

JJ: We both piss on Jimmy’s shit to make the biggest scene possible.

No, Jim, we don’t! we’re going to sneak into the vault and close the door behind us.

JJ: Wouldn’t we be locked in if we did that? Oh, don’t worry I got C4 in the dolphin suit.

We don’t need that Jim, They always have a safety lever on the inside in case like a bank manager get trapped inside. I saw it on sixty minutes once. Why do you have C4 on you?

JJ: Oh, well you see-

Doesn’t matter, It’s almost time to leave. Jimmy will be our getaway driver. Seeing as we will be in and out faster than Vinnie Lane’s most recent Federweight title run because we all know Roman beat him. Fair and square. We should all be home by midnight.

Are you sure this is going to work Thunder Knuckles?

Of course, it will, Jimmy.

JJ: Jimmy, just watch a couple of promos and forget about the local authorities charging you with public urination.

Jimmy: Wait should we really do this-

Alright, let's load up. Jim don't forget to put your bandanna over your face like an old American western and wear your sunglasses. Keep them on until we’re completely out of the bank and back in the car and DON’T BRING THE DOLPHIN SUIT.


Can I at least take the portable DVD player?

I don’t care, Jimmy. Just hurry the fuck up.


Thunder Knuckles said while grabbing his stuff.


Oh yeah, Jim! I forgot to tell you where a hat. So, I picked up three on the way here. Hope you like it.






The three men get inside an unmarked white van parked around the back of the bodega.


Funny how all the best crimes start in a white van, eh boys?

JJ: I hear ya

What are you talking about?


Jimmy said as he drives the van onto the road, to embark on the job at hand. Thunder Knuckles uses this lengthy car ride to explain to Jim Jimson why he believes that kangaroos are far better officials than wallabies. The two men, while Jimmy is driving, agree that if one bad call was made at Cunt Fest it was the use of a worthless wallaby as a referee for their contest.


Alright, that's the place, Jimmy. Just pull up like a regular person.


Jimmy, looks at Thunder Knuckles for a brief second like what does that even mean?


Okay, now just walk in casual as fuck Jimmy and then we’ll side in behind you unnoticed. Before you drop your pants, to shit on the floor, scream out the signal, then just shit everywhere. That’ll be our cue to get inside the vault.

JJ: Wait, so were not pissing on his shit we are walking into the vault.

Are you ready for this, Jim?

JJ: Don’t piss on his shit, Don’t piss on his shit, Don’t shit on his piss, FUCK!


Jim whispers to himself under his breath. Thunder Knuckles and Jim Jimson leave the van. Both men have on the bandannas over their faces, sunglasses on looking cool as fuck, and hats that Thunder Knuckles had picked up. Once inside no one noticed Jim or Thunder Knuckles come in. When all of a sudden you hear.


Look at me! I’m making a Centurion promo!


When Jim and Thunder Knuckles hear this they get inside the vault and shut the door undetected.


Not fuckin bad, huh?


Jim unbuckled his belt and proceeds to look around.


JJ: Where is his shit? Where IS IT!

JIM STOP! Look.


Thunder Knuckles points at the camera in the vault.


Don’t worry they won't check those cameras until we’re gone.

JJ: Yeah your right, they will check the penis records and find mine and then were fucked. Good thinking.


While Jim was talking Thunder Knuckles knocked out the cameras in the vault.


Load up the bags and let’s wait until 8 pm to leave. When no one will be around. By the way, you can take off all that shit, until we leave. I took care of all the cameras now.

JJ: Ok, let's do this shit!


The two of them load up all the bags they brought, which was two large duffle bags apiece. Thunder Knuckles looks at his watch and notices that it’s 8:05 pm.


Okay, Jim, time to go.

JJ: Thank god, I really need to take a piss!


Thunder Knuckles walks over to the vault door and smiles at Jim.


Home free now!


Thunder Knuckles pulls the “lever” on the vault door. The lever snaps off the door.





When the lever broke off the door, Thunder Knuckles’s jaw hits the floor.


JJ: We. Are. FUCKED.

It’ll be fine.

JJ: WE ARE TRAPPED IN THE VAULT AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, I NEED TO TAKE A PISS!

Jim, calm down. Freaking out won't make the situation any better! I'm sure you can hold it in a little bit longer.

JJ: Oh you better hope we get out in a few seconds.

Just give me time to think. What time is it?


Thunder Knuckles looks down at his watch its only 8:15 pm.

10 pm

Jim Jimson is trying to kick the vault door open.


That’s not going to work, Jim.

JJ: I NEED TO PISS. LET ME OUTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let’s pass some time talking about Brian Storm.

JJ: No, why would we need to talk about that diabetes ridden soul. I’m pretty sure he has reserved parking at Maccas. Are you serious?

It'll give us something to keep us occupied until the door opens. When we most likely end up going to jail.

JJ: So, you're telling me, in our last hours of freedom, you want to talk about Brian Storm? You always bring C4 to a bank heist so you can do the explosion without looking behind, haven't you done a bank robbery before?

This is the first bank job I've ever done. So, yeah, one and done, I guess.

JJ: It doesn’t matter anymore... We are more fucked than…. Fuck, I don’t know.

Dolphins.

JJ: Are you trying to say I fuck dolphins?

I’d never say that about you, Jim. It was in Brian’s promo.

JJ: OH REALLY HUH? SO SINCE SOME DUMBASS SAID IT, IT’S TRUE, HUH, BITCH! WHO SAID IT, HUH, WAS IT BRIAN? WAS IT HIM? THAT SOME OF A BITCH. YOU KNOW THIS ONLY STARTED BECAUSE THAT BOOMER FUZZ SAID IT! FUZZ FUCKING SUCKS, BUT HE DOESN’T SUCK AS MUCH AS THAT MARSHMELLO MAN, BRIAN STORM!!!


Jim sits down and takes a breath.


See don’t you feel better?

JJ: Didn’t he say you are easily bought? You probably don’t want me talking shit bout your next employer don’t you?

The only way he’s going to scraps up that many xbux is if, Vinnie Lane, gives it to him. If Vinnie forks over that much money for an ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles lose… Who actually wins?


Thunder Knuckles looks down at his watch and time has passed a little bit. It is now 10:15 pm.

Midnight

Thunder Knuckles is singing the clash “Bankrobber”.


JJ: Seriously, you fucked this shit up. I had C4. you should have let me bring it. You should have let me bring the dolphin suit. Dolphins are the universal symbol of evil! Will you quit singing?!

It’s a good song! Plus, we’re still not in jail yet. We can still get out of this.

JJ: You said that hours ago.

Trust me, will ya.

JJ: You know what? Let's make a bet, if we get out of this, without going to jail. I will actually tag with you and if we don’t get out you of this. You have to give me all your xbux!


The two men shake hands, confirming the deal.


We should probably get some sleep not like we're going anywhere.


Thunder Knuckles pulls out his phone and sets an alarm for four o’clock in the morning.


When this goes off it’ll be four o’clock in the morning, Jim.

JJ: Great, can’t wait I’ll sleep away the hours leading to our prison lives and my life of having all your xbux.

Well, the rest we take now is our best choice. Unless you want to waste your time kicking at the door again.

JJ: Just sleep and I’ll see you in a few hours, I know you're tired.


Thunder Knuckles leaned his back up against the wall sitting on the ground. He fades off into sleep.


Jim is still awake, he's wide awake. He finds himself thinking about Thunder Knuckles, he finds it odd that TK is always doing some crime, so often, yet he is so inexperienced. It reminds Jim of a mafioso being told to do work, by a godfather. Is TK being blackmailed? Maybe he's only so into xbux because he has some big debt he has to pay. Jim puts this thought off his mind and tries to fall asleep.

4 am

Thunder Knuckles alarm goes off signifying it is 4 am. Thunder Knuckles yawns and stretches and looks over at Jim Jimson.


Well seeing as we still have some time before the bank manager comes in at 6 am. I suppose we could use this time talking about Griffin MacAlister.

Here are some things I already know about Griffin. Out of his last nine nationally televised matches, he’s only won two. One was his tag match that Jimmy warned up about. The other was against Big D and Double G. That was May 8th, 2018.

JJ: Are you serious, back 2 years?

Yeah, that's how far I had to go back. I couldn’t bring myself to go threw Pay Per Views at that point. It seemed like a waste of time.

JJ: You’d think with his special powers he would be able to actually win a fight, but he's so bad he loses to regular people like Big D. Didn’t you beat Big D in your debut? This guy is nothing.

Come to think about it, I did.


Thunder KNuckles receives a text from Jimmy in the van, It's Griffins first promo.

Slow-witted? The fuck did you just say? On your best day, which wasn’t the day you shot your promo, for sure. You can’t keep up with ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles. Shit, you barely stumbled out the words in your promo…

Duh, you two are dumb and need a helmet.

Probably thought that shit was comedy gold too. Fuck off. Griffin, you said I should pat myself on the back.


Thunder Knuckles smiles and obliges Griffin MacAlister. Thunder Knuckles awkwardly pats himself on the back.


I haven’t gotten it down yet.


Thunder Knuckles shrugs.


Oh well, I'm sure I'll be better at it than you come on January 26th. After I dislocate, separate, then fracture your shoulder. I’m not stopping there. Nope. I'm going to kick in your fucking knee. That’s right, I’m going to make sure you’ll need anterior cruciate ligament reconstruction. Plus fix the fracture to your knee, Jesus. It’s just not fair but do you think I’m done there? FUCK NO! I'm gonna kick the shit out of your ribs hoping to break every goddamn one. I have to make sure to get the front of your chest too, have to make sure that I puncture both lungs or rupture your aorta. You’re going to be lucky if I don’t set your ass on fire, after your laying there, looking like a used pile of ‘rassler parts. Your fucking best friend, Brian, is getting the same treatment. Make no mistake about it. You got more than you handle because I'm breaking necks for this paycheck.

I’d say at least you can smoke some weed with the time off you’ll be getting. After you wake up from the coma that the Jim & XBUX Connection puts your ass in. Sitting in the burn ward thinking to yourself.

WHY?! Why God? Why did I have to get booked against Thunder Knuckles. Of all things the total of Brain and I’s hospital bills being the amount of xbux, the Jim & Xbux Connection, receive.

I promise this the worst beating I’ll put on ANYONE in my XWF career… They’re gonna be finding your guy’s teeth in the Great Victoria Desert for the next hundred years. I hope they do DNA testing so they can look back and find out the ass whipping that was placed upon you two.


Thunder Knuckles looks down at his watch again. The time is now 5:50 am.


It’s almost time, Jim. Put back on the bandanna, sunglasses, hat, and get ready to book it.

JJ: We are going to have to run as fast as possible to the closest place we can take a piss. How are we going to get away without a getaway driver, we were meant to leave a long time ago.

Jimmy, is still outside. If that mother fucker didn’t leave without us. He’d be too afraid of what I’d do to him.


Both men stand next to the vault door waiting for it to be opened, with bags in hand.


JJ: This better work.

I couldn’t agree more.


The bank manager comes in to open the vault. As soon as the bank manager barely opens the vault you hear.





FREEZE! This is a stick-up!





Thunder Knuckles and Jim Jimson bolt out of the vault undetected by the bank manager and new robbers. Both Thunder Knuckles and Jim Jimson slip out the back service entrance and run for the getaway van. Once they made it to the van they get in the back. Jimmy is asleep at the wheel with headphones on from where he was watching the portable DVD player.


JIMMY, WAKE THE FUCK UP AND DRIVE!


Jimmy wakes up frightened but cranks up the engine of the van and takes off.


What the fuck were you watching?


Centurion’s latest promo.

JJ: Out of all the promos Jimmy?

Why!? You know that boring mother fucker puts people to sleep! What time did you start watching it?



I was trying to get some studying in case you have to fight him soon.

Jesus, Jimmy. Now’s not the time but I’ll have to explain why that was stupid later. I do have good news


Jimmy takes Thunder Knuckles and Jim Jimson back to the bodega. Once inside the bodega Thunder Knuckles hands out new clothing. He then instructs Jimmy and Jim Jimson to never speak about this to anyone. Thunder Knuckles says his farewells and send the other two men on their way. He leaves the four bags in the bodega for the rightful owner to pick up hoping this will be the last bank job he ever has to do.


The scene fades to a Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 ad.


My fellow Americans, we have a lot of work to do fixing our ties across the world. If we, as a country, are prepared to stick together. There is no end to what the great people of this nation can accomplish.

So let's accomplish something big. Something bigger than all of us. Elect the man who will fix our ties across the world. That person is Drezdin.