Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-28-2024, 04:46 PM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "C*nt Fest" RP Board
FUN Wrestling
Author Message
Prof. Bobby Bourbon Offline
Mad Scientist



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
01-11-2020, 02:14 AM

Robbie Bourbon faces destiny, karma, and all manner of metaphorical hogwash at C*ntFest, a pay-per-view with a title so edgy it has an asterisk.

Oh, shit, the card hasn't even been posted yet!

FUN WRESTLING

A helicopter flies overhead, the makeshift encampment below thriving with activity. The wildfires have displaced thousands of Australians, leaving them with nowhere to go but here. Here being this makeshift camp, set up to house and feed them. House, feed, and entertain, judging by the sights of CuntFest being set up not far away.

In the center of the camp is, of all things, a ring, set up with hundreds, possibly thousands, all seated and ready to watch a wrestling show. Signage everywhere says this show is being put on by one company.

[Image: 63J3yoY.png]

What the hell is FUN Wrestling?

To answer this, we see, through a very makeshift entrance, Robbie Bourbon steps out, dressed almost exactly like Colonel Sanders except the hair is atop his mask. The people start cheering wildly as Robbie walks down to the ring as "Dixie" plays. Robbie climbs into the ring and grabs a microphone.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am Colonel Ashburn "Hem 'n Haw" Peckinpah, owner and general manager of FUN Wrestling! I am in no way, though I look it, Robbie Bourbon, associated with the XWF, nor a group of XWF performers who have come together to the aid of our Australian brothers and sisters during these trying wildfires by setting up this camp.

Having pat himself and the rest of the XWF stars who are here for FUN Wrestling on the back, the crowd cheers.

As owner and general manager of this FUN Wrestling company, let's go ahead and get to the action, and see some proper wrasslin'!

As Robbie Says this, Vinnie Lane steps through the makeshift FUN Wrestling entrance and starts to walk to the ring. Grillz by Nelly plays. Lane is in a black jumpsuit, and he grins, showcasing a chrome grill.

Ah, yes, making his way to the ring, hailing from Alcatraz, IRON TOOTH MALOOSKI!

Lane, as Iron Tooth Malooski, enters the ring swiftly to stand next to Colonel Hem 'n Haw Peckinpah.

Iron Tooth, do you have anything to say to the people here tonight?

Malooski looks awkwardly at Peckinpah, seemingly unawares that he was going to be on the microphone tonight. Malooski reaches for the microphone, but Peckinpah doesn't let it go. Malooski leans into Peckinpah as Lane gives Robbie some choice words quietly under his breath. Peckinpah rolls his eyes as Malooski has the microphone.

Australia! My dudes, uh, I mean, Iron Tooth Malooski takes no prisoners, and never surrenders, which means I always lose at Risk, but tonight, I'm not playing Risk, I'm here to wrestle!

Malooski poses, holding his hands up and thus the microphone. Robbie mouths 'my show!' at Lane as Peckinpah snags the microphone back.

Well, Iron Tooth Malooski, you sound like a tough man, but here's your opponent tonight...

Uncle Treasure Island!


As Peckinpah speaks, a dirge strikes as Theo Price dressed as a pirate walks out. Uncle Treasure Island looks regal as he smiles walking down the ring. He steps into the ring.

Yo, ho ho!

Avast, Captain!


Iron Tooth Maloosky
vs
Uncle Treasure Island


Uncle Treasure Island whips a paddle out from inside of his long pirate coat, and wollops Peckinpah on the ass. Robbie hollers.

Hey, what the fuck?

Captain tosses the paddle to Malooski, who tees off on Robbie's behind.

Woah, woah! Alright, assholes, there's going to be a match. I'll officiate!

Peckinpah removes his white Colonel Sanders jacket and is wearing a referee shirt. As he does, both Captain and Malooski shrug at each other, reach down, and begin to tap out.

Woah, woah! You can't simultaneously, there are rules, and there wasn't even a hold put in!

As Peckinpah shouts this, Malooski sneakily reaches down and taps out. The bell rings.

Damnit! Fine, best two of three falls!

As soon as Robbie says this, Uncle Treasure Island reaches down and taps the mat. The bell rings.

Um, shit, tied up! Malooski and Uncle Treasure Island going the distance in this best two of three falls match on FUN Wrestling!

Both Lane and Price shrug at each other as they smile, bend over, and reach out to tap the mat as Malooski and Uncle Treasure Island. UTI grabs Malooski's wrist, preventing the tap out! UTI goes to tap, but Malooski brabs his left wrist! Both men stand, and go into a test of strength! They glare at each other, and begin performing a waltz around Peckinpah. Peckinpah leans over the ropes and hollers up the entrance way, and music plays! Malooski and UTI complete their dance and do a plie. Malooski scoops the paddle and gives Robbie another good whack on the ass as both Malooski and UTI powder out of the ring and back up the entrance as Peckinpah rubs his ass.


WINNER: Malooski and UTI via ass paddlin' at 0:25




We go backstage at FUN Wrestling where we see James Raven decked out in a bald wig, and wearing a monocle. In a terrible English accent, Lord Edwin Kazoo Band introduces himeslf.

I'm Lord Edwin Kazoo Band, and I am here to interview the current FUN Wrestling tag team sensation, The Algebra Brothers!

Fuzz and Noah Jackson, wearing matching gear, this stuff...



[Image: latest?cb=20101006135559]



...are standing beside Lord Edwin Kazoo Band. The Algebra Brothers, Peter Algebra and Peter Algebra, look confident.

Peter and Peter, the Algebra Brothers, do you have anything say to the fans of FUN Wrestling out there?

Yeah!

We sure do!

Well that is fascinating! You heard it here first, the Algebra Brothers have something to SAY!




Main Event!!!
"The $15 Man" Carl Thursday
vs
Dr. Spleenripper


Peckinpah is still in the ring, as owner, GM, and only referee of FUN Wrestling.

Alright, folks, our next match is our Main Event! First, making his way to the ring, he's got the money, but not a lot, THE FIFTEEN DOLLAR MAN! CARL THURSDAY!



Thunder Knuckles steps through the entrance, dressed in a suit covered with dollar signs. Fifteen total dollar signs. The Fifteen Dollar Man rolls into the ring and stands beside Colonel Peckinpah.

Everybody's got a price, and as long as that price is under fifteen dollars, I got you covered. I would rather pay only like ten and have five left over for tomorrow.

And your opponent, tonight, the sick, the demented, the twisted, DOCTOR SPLEENRIPPER!



Atara Themis steps out wearing a surgical gown and cap, gloved and sterilized and ready to operate as Dr. Spleenripper, the ripper of spleens. She steps into the ring letting out a series of gutteral screams.

RAAAAAAAAOOOAOAOAAAARRR!

It's adorable. Peckinpah calls for the bell! The bell doesn't ring!

Hey, ringman, ring the damn bell!

There's no ring, as David Ringman stands. Dr. Louis D'Ville stands up, holding the hammer to ring the bell, and he hurls it out into the crowd! He passes the bell itself out to a fan ringside! The fan looks ecstatic. Ringman pulls out another bell entirely from under his chair, and he passes that off too! He then goes under the ring, and starts pulling out a pile of ringbells!

Well, good to know our budget went to a billion ringbells.

They're used, don't be a bitter pill.

I'm not!

Yo, you got my Xbux?

ROOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!

D'Ville looks up and grins, pulling out a massive gong. He hits it.

GOOOOOOOOOONG!

Everybody in the ring looks around. Peckinpah shrugs.

I think that's a bell.

I contest that.

Duely noted. Upheld.

What?

Your contest.

WINNER: NO CONTEST at 1:22


David Ringman bangs the gong again.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!

Iron Tooth Malooski, UTI, Lord Edwin Kazoo Band, and the Algebra Brothers all storm the ring, and they all have huge baskets of candy! They're throwing them to the crowd!

OH NO! The Candy Connection is back together in FUN Wrestling, what a crazy twist to end the show!

David Ringman enters the ring with a paddle and whacks Robbie on the ass one last time for good measure.

Fucking hell!

The fans stick around, getting free candy, as everybody seemed pretty entertained for a little while, a profoundly simple escape from the fires around them and the losses of their homes. Maybe this FUN Wrestling benefit can help, even just a little. Peckinpah regains his composure.

Well, if you want to give a paddling, here's my ace in the hole as they say! THOMAS THE TANK ENGINEER!



A grown man dressed as a train engineer from 1870 walks out, waving to the crowd, hollering a hefty 'CHOO CHOO' every few steps while pumping his fist. Barney Green looks pleased as punch to be Thomas the Tank Engineer.

CHOO CHOO!

Barney rounds the ring as Thomas the Tank Engineer does his little train dance around the ring.

Tune in next episode, who knows what the Engineer is going to say!

[Image: DtUCPfZ.png]
Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 7 users Like Prof. Bobby Bourbon's post:
Atara Raven (01-11-2020), Barney Green (01-14-2020), Corey Smith (01-11-2020), Noah Jackson (01-11-2020), red-x (01-14-2020), Robert "The Omega" Main (01-12-2020), Theo Pryce (01-11-2020)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)