[The camera pans a far shot of Black and Tommy sitting inside a radio station for The Breakfast Club, and we see DJ Envy, Angela Yee, and C Tha God greeting them with some daps. Tommy ends up eyeing up and down Angela’s outfit, including her peep toe pumps with the red pedi, while Black is sitting down adjusting his mic. C Tha God looks at him and laughs, while Black glares at him.]
C Tha God: You look like a bootleg MF Doom, you should lose the mask with the quickness. I bet you don’t have any bitches on your dick, you such lame.
[Black ignores his trollish comment.]
DJ Envy: Hello fans, this is Power 105.1 radio, The Breakfast Club with your boy DJ Envy…
[The rest of them shout off their names, while Black and Tommy beams their eyes elsewhere as they finish, as if they are intruding on their property.]
DJ Envy: So John and Tommy, what made you come out here this early morning with us?
Black: Well, we decided to book ourselves here to promote this hot new event in Madison Square Garden. I don’t know if your listeners had ever heard of XWF bu—
C Tha God: What the fuck is a XWF? Is that a porno or sumthin…XWF what a shit name for a company.
Black: Anyways, there is a show that we are performing in that we take on some wonderful duo in a naughty or nice match, and I want to inform that we are going to give away about fifteen free tickets to the show.
[Then they play some airhorn effects, and they all seem to be beamed up for the opportunity for the plug. Then Angela notices Tommy eyeing her, as she tries to remain professional, Tommy is practically eye fucking her.]
DJ Envy:[color=#4682B4 Oh wow what a Christmas present from you guys, we’ll make sure we will give them lucky fifteen callers these tickets to see this show. Now onto important matters, so what made you two want to be pro wrestlers?[/color]
Black: For me, I’ve low key always was a wrestling fans, from like the age of like ten or eighteen, I ended up dreaming to wrestle in the big leagues, but reality came to me that I wouldn’t make it a reality. By the time I was finishing high school, I told my mom like “ay yo, I wanna be a wrestla from Bmore”… guess what happened?
Yee: What happened to that ideal John?
Black: She said “boy you better get you cho ass in them books.” And I pretty much put that on the back burner for the time until I finished my time in college.
Yee: Well that’s pretty fucking badass that your mom had to come check you on dat... Also you white dude, what caused you to be in the business of wrestling.
Tommy kept eyeing on her pumps like a thief in the night, as C Tha God smacks him over his head. Tommy then looks at her in her eyes as he speaks.
Tommy: Fuck man, I didn’t need that wake up call, look for me I wasn’t much of a fan. In fact, when I watch it with my mom and sister… we lived in Texas for like a hot decade or so, and it was fucking huge where I lived.
C Tha God: So all the hicks where you lived liked to watch fake wrestlers in spandex, huh. You know what I don’t understand about it, is how it’s so popular, it so fucking lame. It wasn’t even popin off until like the Attitude Era.
DJ Envy: Oh man, I don’t have much strong memories of it, but I do know that some crazy guy jumped off the cell into some tables. It was fucking lit, and I was wondering if you guy are going to some fuck shit like that in the ring.
Black: Hell no, I don’t know about Tommy but me... Fuck all that shit… I just brawl like a madman from Sudan. I try not to fork them in the skull though and contract hep c.
[The room goes silent as Tommy and Black knows what he’s alluding too. Then they shift their invisible papers to get into something else worth discussing on.]
Yee: Oh yeah I heard that you two made a club appearance with some Angel Dust in the bomb.
C Tha God: Oh yeah that was some fly shit right thur, I bet you both got some good ass suppliers in deez streets. Whose y’all plug and where I can find him.
Black: Man, i’m no where on the level that 6ix9ine rainbow warrior is on the scale of snitching. Dead man tell no secrets, but all I can tell you that it was expensive to put the shit in there.
Tommy: To be honest, I’m just so happy I am to be right next to Yee. I have a thing for light skinned broads like you, you make my nuts Hotter than wasabi.
[Yee then starts to blush and giggle as Tommy smiles devilishly at her. He then starts to rub her arm down with his hand, and she pushed back. Tommy then puts his hands up inna freeze position to not get #metoo’d.]
Tommy: Hey Lee, I was fucking around okay… didn’t expect you to freak out like that.
Yee: I’m not that type of broad who falls for weak flirting from guys like you. Sadly, you’re not my type.
[Everyone in the room lights up with an OOHH shi—as Tommy scoffs off her deflections. Then he up and leaves the studio, as Black follows suit. As they leave the studio, they over hear them talking shit about them. About an hour later, gun shots were heard in the studio, and they come out of their with some blood on them; they both look at one another nod in silence as they leave area before the popo showed up.]
In the shitty Motel
============
[We see them inside their motel room with the guns they used to kill those hosts, as they clean the guns; Tommy turns on the TV to hear the news of the killing of the morning host. Tommy smiles at the scene like a mad man, while Black puts the guns in his travel bag. Then it cuts to the un-American black flag on the wall, and the two at one another eye to eye.]
“Man, you were busting caps on those people, T… what got into you? Oh wait I know, it’s the fact that they took their time to shit on us when they were off air.”
“Not only that man, I just got rejected by that Asian bitch... I hate those blasian lookin broads anyways. Oh shit since we are in New York this week, how about we hit to the Lower East Side, I hear that they got some good as Chinese places!”
“Man, you stupid… first you telling the whole national world you got hard nuts for Yee on the radio… to dissing on—you know what forget all that shit, we have something else to worry about within our time in this motel.”
“What should we worry about; I’ve already paid the supplier and registered the guns.”
“I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about that Naughty or nice match… that match we have against Storm and D.O.C for grand prize of probably less than a
dollar at a crack den.”
[Tommy was puzzled at his word choices.]
“What in the fuck are you talking about?”
“Man, I’m talking about the freaking X-Bux man… the currency for the dub. Do you remember that shit we cut awhile ago on it?”
“Man I don’t even remember it, im just indifferent to it all to be honest. So, wait a minute.. you said XBUX?”
“Hell yeah man, we going to gank them for everything they got in that match at MSG. Who’s the they we are talking about?”
[Then the camera pans on pictures of Trust and Storm in all their glory on their flag, and they are taking it down and tearing it to shreds.]
“Listen up Doc and Storm, you both are in for something to not forget in your time in the XWF, I don’t expect much for us to win no damn currency that can put a roof over our heads. I guess me and Tommy are on the naughty list for the act of sin we’ve committed. Maybe after this match, y’all should see your preachers to anoint you from not seeing us again. We don’t care about how these people view us, hell we were mistaken as fucking ring crew in the hot dog stand.”
“Not only that we were mistaken for that, there was rumors that someone in the locker room person Crusie lovechild asked if we “worked” here before? Huh, I guess we don’t seem to reach audiences of the popular masses in the land of XWF. So to those that support that statement… come tune into the Solstice to see what we can do. If we had beaten the power couple out of XWF AND take some time to shoot up a radio show… then we are capable to not give two fucks of going to war against two guys who couldn’t rock god damn rhymes out of the dime paper bags. I’m done here…”
“Well me too Tommy, so come this Saturday this is our last match for the year. If we do or don’t win the prize, just know that we blessed to do what we do best… fuck shit up, and cause controversy to the delight of no ones. So my last words to Doc and Storm… now I gotta wet cha both in that ring.”
[It cuts off into static as the scene fades into something more kid friendly.]
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