Impressed is what the fuck I am. Bro I was proud as fuck as I watched my little cousin Anrappkum knock out rep after rep after muthafuckin' rep up in this bitch like a pimp!


"Yeah broh!" I screamed in his face as loud as I could to help motivate the living dogshit out of the little pipsqueak and help him grrrowww!!!





"Pump that shit mother fucker!" I swore at him and slapped him in the face when I could tell his ass was getting tired!


"Bitch I'll kill you if you stop!" I think it was him knowing I was serious as fuck that pushed him to that next level and got him where he needed to be bro. I have a real eloquent word usage ability n shit.


"Excuse me sir you can't have a minor in the gym with you."


Those fuckin' words piss me off every gottdamn time I hear them but guess what? Today they pissed me off even more because I had to get Anrappkum to ditch school just to sneak to the gym and train with my ass. His dumb ass bitch whore of a mother doesn't like him hanging out with me! She thinks I'm a shitty influence on the young, ripe, pre-teen's mind. She thinks it's too early for a young child to be all into getting BIG AS FUCK and wanting to devour dem calories bruh! You got to DEVOUR DEM CALORIES! Get your muh'fuckin DDC on!


"Bro leave me the fuck alone he's not a minor!" I figure if I scream in the gym employee's face loud enough the first time I won't have to flip the fuck out and lose my shit all over the damn gym later. Makes sense right bro? Thought so! What's weird as fuck tho is it didn't seem to work!


"Sir I'm going to have to call the pigs if you don't get rid of the kid."


I look at ol' boy like he's got 8 dicks for a face and I go "WHAT THE FUCK!?"


My little cousin Anrappkum throws the barbell at the employee and proceeds to unleash the most wicked fuckin' beating I've ever seen a little boy give any man woman child animal plant robot or missing comma! Fuckin' sweet bro! I just stand back and get some curls in on the free weights as my cuz basically rapes that asswipe who tried kicking him out of the gym. He's owning the bitch like I owned everyone all night long last Sunday in fuckin' shitty ass Africa!


"Yeah broh! Fuck his ass up! Just like I taught you! Make him bleeeeed!!!"


He's going to town right now. Dude I'm proud as fuck of this boy! I wish his stupid ass parents could share in this joy with me but oh no they want to make it like I'm a shitty ass role model or some bullfuckery.


"Fuck yeah kill that fuckin' bitch! Dick slap that nut lapper!"


I jump in and get a few shots in on the stupid fuckin' jagoff too. Yeah a couple quick kicks and a stomp to the head just to make sure we get the message across that we're here to train, not to be asked gay ass fuckin' questions about how old a boy is.


"Come on Anrappkum let's get the fuck outta here. Now we got all these nosy ass muh'fuckers gawking and oogling and spooging themselves over us so we'll never finish training. Let's go finish our workout at a nice private hotel room."


I hug the boy to calm him down and get him to stop murderlizing the stupid ass jagoff dickhead gym employee. I can feel his heart racing and his body trembling with raw, manly power. It's amazing how much he has inside of him for being a pre-teen but it makes sense when you remember we're muh'fuckin cousins up in this bitch bro.


"It's alright. He'll never hurt us again. He learned his shitty lesson."


I kiss Anrappkum on the forehead and take his hand. Bro I'm serious A LOT of people are staring at us right now as we walk through the gym holding hands after beating the fuckin' cuntjuice out of that dorky ass fruitcake back there. What's with these people and the ugly ass looks they're giving me bro? Looking at me like I'm an alien or some shit.


"Dude are you fucking that kid?"


Some TOTAL fuckin' shit head who obviously was raised by pieces of shit with no manners just yelled out from the back of the gym and asked me a question I'm not even gonna repeat here bro. That douche tooth better just be glad I didn't snap right then and there because I'd be in jail for him being dead.


"Let's get away from these sick ass fuckin' freaks of nature. We still have several hours before your parents would expect you home from school if you hadn't ditched to be with me. We can get some hot chocolate and I'll give you a nice massage to relax you."


We go out to my rental car which is just some generic piece of crap car I don't even know the name of so don't ask me. I know the hip thing is to be able to describe every last fuckin' detail on some sweet ass ride and then describe how the interior smells so pristine it's like a baby's unwashed asshole but I ain't about that life and I ain't about to waste my gottdamn time caring what fuckin' car I'm driving!


"Ahhh! Help! Somebody's stealing my car!!!!"


Some crazy ass bitch starts yelling for help because I got into the wrong car by mistake.


"Fuck bitch calm your tits you think I know what car I drive?!?"


She just freezes and looks at me. It's like she sees the most fuckin' asshole she's ever laid eyes on in her life BUT WE KNOW she can't possibly be thinking that if she's looking at me so it's like what the fuck bitch what's up can you please stop screaming in my face and spraying me with pepper spray now?


"Fuck bitch I hate pepper!"


I sneeze a couple times from the pepper spray but that's about all it does to me. Most dudes would be crying their eyes out and running into traffic but my parents used to put pepper spray on tacos and sloppy joes. Something about all that heat inside the body gets the veins nice and full as fuck with that hot ass blood helping to feed those recovering muscles after an 8 to 10 hour arm workout.


"Yo bitch I used to eat this stuff for breakfast literally so you can stop now ok you stupid cunt?"


Oh for fuck's sake dude I don't know why but it's like my words get her even more upset so she starts kicking me in the shins. I scoop my little cousin up over my shoulder and get the fuck outta dodge real quick. The crazy bitch grabs at me as I start to run away but she ends up grabbing Anrappkum's pants and pulling them clean off!!!


So yeah now I'm running through this fuckin' parking lot with my bare ass pants-less cousin slung over my shoulder and some dudes not too far away start yelling and pointing!


"Hey! That muscle bound maniac's stealing a little boy to take home and rape! Get him!"


Now here's the thing broh's, as crazy as that line sounds that you just heard him yell..... for some INSANE reason that was all it took to make everyone in the area believe that asshole and start chasing after me! My cousin is screaming and crying at this point, kicking his legs and trying to get away from me while his junk flaps in the air but I know I have to keep going for both of our sakes if we're ever going to finish training before his parents expect him home!


"Stop that pedophile! Get him!"


They start yelling random crazy shit that don't even make no fuckin' sense, just making up new words to try and confuse people and get them to join the chase I guess. I go into HOLY SHIT BRO mode and can't find my rental car so I just snatch some stupid old lady out of a car and steal her shit! Fuck yeah bro!


It doesn't take more than a few seconds for me to notice my cousin in the passenger seat is lighting up a crack pipe or some shit. I dunno bro it's one of them drugs you use fire to inject. That's all I know.


"Bro where the fuck did you get that?!?"


"Mind your biz, cuzzzz."


He proceeds to take a big ass hit of that shit and it smells like a mix of all kinds of nasty ass chemicals. I'm not sure if he had that with him or if he found it in this old lady's dirty ass car but my cousin Anrappkum is puffing like a gottdamn chimney over here! Oh yeah and for those following along no he still doesn't have any pants on because remember that one crazy psycho dingbat cluckhead back there pulled them off him while we were trying to get away from her. Dumb bitch.


"Hey yo cuz, bro are you ok?"


His eyes are all glazed over and his head is slowly drooping forward and then slamming back into the headrest. His mouth is just hanging the fuck open and he's kinda moaning a little bit. I asked him if he's ok and he's not answering bro. I sure hope I don't need to drag him to a hospital.


"Mind your biz, cuzzzz."


Oh ok well that's a relief at least. He throws up all over the car after that and we drive over to my boy Yetmundukot Hetero.

---

Scene 2: Next scene bro!

---

We arrive at my boy Yetmundukot Hetero's trailer and I walk in and purchase some shit I ain't about to repeat right here to all you fucktards ok? Fuck off with that.

---

Scene 3: Hotels + Drugs = Fuck yeah broh

---

Once we get back to the hotel, it's almost time for my cousin to go home and pretend he was at school all day even though his pants are missing and he's high as a fuckin' kite. I start to wonder if maybe his parents are gonna wonder if something's up. Could they be that detective-like? I mean bro how up in his business are they? Back when I was his age I could have walked in the door without pants and there'd be no problem whatsoever. I could be foaming at the mouth and I'd be lucky to get a momentary glance my way. I obviously had the good kinda parents though because I turned out to be a total fuckin' badass and smart as FUCK bro. Too bad I can't adopt Anrappkum to make sure he's raised right === Like a steak! Ha ha! Damn I'm clever as fuuuuck up in this beeyatch!


Wow he's still hitting that random drug pipe like a champ. I sure hope there's nothing bad in it. Fuck bro I still don't even know if he had it with him or found it in the crazy old lady's car.

---

Scene 4: That's fucked

---

SO yeah it turns out my cousin died from those drugs he smoked. Sucks ass. I'm pissed.


Oh and of course to make things worse you know people are trying to put the fuckin' blame on my ass. Dick heads, man!

---

Scene 5: New biz going strong as fuck

---

I open up my own drug store and shit goes real well for the first hour or two until some gang bangers walk in the store and try to play me for a fool. One of them asks me about some made up supplement while the others go around stealing shit. I pulled out my automatic shotgun and scared the living shit outta these shit rats! Turns out they weren't stealing anything and weren't in a gang at all. They were just some neighborhood white kids who just saw their first Kali Muscle video so now they want to get jacked. Fuck bro what if I killed those kids' chances of ever getting swolt the fuck up like me? What if I ruined their fuckin' lives because I shoved a gun in their faces and almost splattered their brains all over the walls??? So yeah, to make things right I end up letting them have a free bottle of Advil and I tell them it's secret steroids. Fuck em. I don't give a shit. I close up shop for the day after that and consider my first day running a drug store to be a ONE hundred mother fucking percent SUCK SESSSSS!!!

---

Bro's and bro'ettes! Listen the fuck up!

---

Ok wow so uh yeah I guess we go from all that silly bullshittery to having to talk about current happenings in the XWF. Well what do you want me to say brohammers? We all saw me outshine everybo- HOLD THE FUCK UP I SAID OUTSHINE EVERYBODY at the muh'fuckin Bionic Trenbolone Grown Lotto Tourney pay per view. Yeah I took my ass all the way to Africa to show the world what a real man looks like but at the end of the day it was once again somebody else's fuckin' fault that I got fucked over. Yup! Go figure! My own genius of a partner, the MASTER of the minds, GOT FUCKIN' BEAT LIKE A BITCH! FAHCK!


Mastermind! Bro! How the hell can you be such a stupid ass dumb fuckin' idiot? I mean how is it physically possible that you live and breathe the same air as successful athletes and gods in the gym like me, yet still drop the balls so hard? I'm sorry I hit you with that pipe after the match though bro that was uncalled for but in all honesty I ain't even sorry bro suck a dick.


Aw shit though you know what that reminds me I hit Vita after the match too. I was buggin' the fuck out bro. I need to make things right with her because I didn't mean that shit.


Eh fuck it. I'll send her some protein with magic secret ingredients wink wink wink bro. We're good!


Anyway now that that's all taken care of, fuck I also went on and attack Jessalyn Hart for some unknown reason after my match and it's pretty gottdamn obvious I fucked her up so bad I ended up costing her when she went up against that smokin' hottie Arturo or whatever her name is. Man she's hot as fuck. If anything I'm just glad I cold help make sure the hot girl won that match instead of the ugly ass freakazoid that looks like she belongs in a budget buy Halloween porno for gay dudes.


So yeah Mastermind, Vita, Jess? Sorry about my damn swole.


That brings me to my next match bro! I'll be damned too it's like hell froze the fuck over and I'm actually in a match with another grown man who looks like he lifts! FUCK YEAH!!!


Man I'll tell ya as soon as I saw the sign up thingamabobber go up in the back halls and I saw Bearded War Pig's name on there, I knew I had to get his ass in a match QUICK! Dude I ain't even playing. I mean when it comes to this creepy ass XWF circus, big ass guys like him will be gone and replaced by like 6 more emo transgender looking doofuses in a month.. and half of them will be females! I knew if I talked some shit to him I'd get his attention because I speak his language and he speaks mine, and guess what bro it fuckin' worked because it's "The Great" Amjetkun "Path Blocker" Socio "Tunnel Digger of The Royal East" going one on mother fucking one with BWP!


You can kinda tell just by our names who's the bigger deal and who's gonna win, ha ha ha look.


"The Great" Amjetkun "Path Blocker" Socio "Tunnel Digger of The Royal East"
- vs -
bwp


It's like damn dude sorry nobody cares about you but maybe you can make up for it by being a cowardly little bitch and attacking your own partner OH SHIT you already did that at the same pay per view that saw me manhandle over a dozen people with fuckin' authority! All you did was be a little and try to kill Robbie because he's so disgustingly fuckin' fat you wanted to put him out of his misery before he ate his way to a spontaneously exploding heart! I mean damn dude YOUR heart was at least in the right place but Robbie's a grown ass man and has the right to decide for himself if he lives or dies, even if he's a fat fuck!


That's the thing you don't seem to understand big boy is even though guys like you and me stand out from the pack because we train and we eat 100% natural vegan meat, doesn't mean we get to decide which fuckin' slobs live or die! If we just go picking them off one by one then it's just gonna be like 2 or 3 guys in the XWF in a couple months because when you get rid of the fat fucks then you ALSO gotta get rid of the trannies and the emo bitches and the creepy ass underage girls and the aliens. Once you eradicate that list it's like

Uni Champ = Socio
X Champ = BWP
Everything else vacant

Seriously what the fuck kind of federation would that be? Fuckin' boring seeing me just beat your ass every week in multiple match types to fill up the show, so be a little nicer to the inferior fat fucks like Robbie!


Oh and hey everybody before I go I just want to again say how fuckin' stoked I am to be in this match with BWP! Like I said it's totally wicked being able to be in a match that looks like a real wrestling match with two grown men in it, and I can also tell me and BWP have similar thinkin' brains too! Lemme leave you all with this BWP quote from last Sunday and let's get pumped for this fuckin' bitch match bro!

BWP at Lethal Lottery V actually fuckin' Said:"Long and hard everything was spiraling through my wicked brain. Boom! It had developed in my brain like the universe with a big bang."

😍😍😍 Like seriously are we long lost brothers? Big bang brain recognizes big bang brain bro. 😍😍😍


#BigBrainBros
#MuscleOverTrannies
#RealMenLookLikeTheyFuckinLiftHeavyAssWeight