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B.O.B. D · (12-01-2019)

Thanksgiving. A time to appreciate what you have and not dwell on the things you don't. Krystal and I were hosting our first dinner as a married couple, a small get together between us and my parents. It was a small gathering, as most of her family lived out of state and couldn't make the trek. Considering most of them lived in California, who could blame 'em? I'd take the sunshine and warmth over the gloomy clouds and cold, too. We were just lucky they made it to the wedding, didn't expect them to come to Iowa twice a year. Only Iowans were crazy enough to do that!

On my side, most of my aunts and uncles did their own thing for the holiday. The ones who weren't married usually just stayed at home and drank while the couples cooked dinner for their immediate family. That left my two younger brothers, who also weren't gonna make it due to circumstances. The youngest, Ben, was away on a trip with a group of friends and associates. He had autism, but you wouldn't know it with all the adventures and opportunities he'd been given. Like Samuel McPherson, he'd done an amazing job overcoming his disability and we were all proud of him for it.
And my other brother, Colin, was a vegan. 'nough said.

As the ladies finished up preparing the feast, my dad and I watched the Bills make the Cowboys their bitch. He sipped on some disgusting Old Milwaukee(though it was still better than Victoria Bitter), while I chugged my sixth Blue Moon. Despite being the holidays, I couldn't help but feel a little angry over what I would be missing out on Sunday. I know I should appreciate being TV Champion, but it was hard feeling like I was stuck back in the WWF days again. A lower tiered Champion above the level of prestige his Title holds, stuck watching people he was better than get pushed to the moon. Even the Barbed Wire Match stipulation(which to be fair I CHOSE), had a WWF feel to it. I'd only been in one before, and it was there, against the man who'd become synonymous for holding my career back. It was all on repeat, only this time the role of Big Evil was being played by Noah Jackson. While Noah may not be a future World Champion, he certainly gave me the same kind of road block Evil did and I intended on showing him just how 'thankful' I was for it.

"Dinner's ready!" Krystal announced, popping her head into the living room.

I stumbled my way into the kitchen, followed by my father, to a heavenly smell. There was a big, fat turkey in the center of the table surrounded by a plethora of sides. Mashed potatoes, green beans, dinner rolls, stuffing, yams, and of course, cranberry sauce. Over on the counter were two pies, one pumpkin and the other chocolate French silk, for dessert. If we had room for dessert, that is. We all sat down and prepared to dig in, before my wife chimed in with the worst idea she's had since I met her.

"Before we eat, why don't we go around the table and share what we're thankful for?"

"That's a great idea, Krystal!" my mom agreed, overly enthused as usual. "Kevin, why don't you go first?"

My dad seemed as thrilled about sharing what he was grateful for as I was. He took a gulp of his beer before giving a quick, typical dad response.

"Roses are red, violets are blue," he began with his typical opening line of 'poetry.' "I'm thank for you, hopefully you are for me, too!"

My mom looked unimpressed, but nevertheless it was all she was gonna get out of my father. Wanting to show him how it was done, my mother went next.

"I'm thankful I didn't have to do all the cooking this year," she joked, patting my wife on the shoulder. My dad looked perturbed, confused why his poem was inappropriate but my mom's joke wasn't. "I'm also thankful that we could all be here, together, as a happy little family," Mom continued. "And, of course, that our son found someone sweet and caring who makes him happy."

"Awww, that's sweet," Krystal responded, her face turning red. She was never one for any sort of attention, even from me at times. "Well, I'm thankful for Daniel. He's made me so happy since we met and I couldn't imagine life without him. I'm also thankful to have another family accept me as one of their own."

My mom, on the verge of tears, gave Krystal a big hug. Me and my dad eyed each other, before looking at the juicy turkey in front of us. As our wives had their emotional moment, the two of us reached forward to slice ourselves off a piece. Unfortunately for us, the embrace ended before we could put knife to poultry and we were caught in the act.

"Honey!" Krystal exclaimed, for some reason not appreciating the fact I wanted to eat her delicious cooking while it was hot. "Don't you want to tell us what you're thankful for first?"

"Not really," I slurred, downing what was now my seventh beer.

"Phillip!" my mom scolded, using my embarrassing middle name as a way to shame me. "Everyone else gave thanks, now it's your turn!"

I sighed, a combination of reluctance and too much alcohol. All I wanted was to have a peaceful Thanksgiving, one where we could just enjoy being together and eat a good meal. It was SUPPOSED to be a time for me to escape the darkness of my past, but instead I was being forced to relive it. As unappreciative as I may have seemed, it was almost impossible to be thankful considering I didn't have the ONE thing I, not only desired, but DESERVED.

"Do you REALLLLLY wanna know what I'm thankful for?" I asked, my mood shifting to a more negative one.

"Mmmhmm," Krystal answered, as my parents looked on anxiously. They could tell something was off.

"Well," I began, looking down at my plate that was currently as empty as I was inside. "I'm........ thankful for being the Television Champion."

I paused, as my family looked on. It was obvious Krystal wanted more than that, I couldn't just get away with a one-liner like my dad. As painful(and stupid) as it was, I just let my drunken state take over.

"IIIIIIII'm thankful for being allowed IN Lethal Lottery........" I began to rant, staring at the turkey in front of me the entire time. "Even though management didn't give everyone a fair chance to win. And I'm not even talkin' about my garbage partner, no, I'm talking about hiring referee's fresh out of the academy! You know, ones who allow outside interference and are too stupid to keep track of the legal man!........."

"Honey, that's enough........" Krystal begged, but it was already too late. The monster had been unleashed.

"I'm thankful for the fact I got completely fucked out of Lethal Lottery, and I'm just supposed to move on like everything's alright!!!! Sit here and give thanks for the absolute bullshit that's been bestowed upon me?!?!?!?! I can't appreciate the things I have right now, because all I can think about is what Noah Jackson fucking stole from me! I SHOULD be grateful for being given the opportunity to exact my revenge, but I just can't get over the fact HE'S getting a shot at MY Title! He sticks his nose where it doesn't belong, and HE gets rewarded for it!......... Because THAT'S the kind of company I work for!................"

Taking things even further than I already had, I began to take my frustration out of the turkey my wife and mom had spent hours cooking. My family watched on in horror as each fist pounded our main course, sending chunks of meat flying everywhere. I dropped elbows on the cooked bird, as well as hit it with my wooden kitchen chair. Finally, I picked the turkey high above my head and slammed it to the ground, essentially causing a big explosion of poultry to cover the kitchen.

"DANIEL PHILLIP MULHOLLAND!!!!!!"

My wife, mom, AND dad all shouted my full name at the top of their lungs, all three voices blending together as one. I snapped out of my blind rage, realizing the severity of what I'd done. Quickly, I tried to fix the situation by picking up chunks of the turkey and setting them on the table, but there was no use. I destroyed our dinner like it was Noah Jackson and there was no repairing it.

"You need to go outside, RIGHT NOW, and cool the fuck off!" Krystal declared, a stern finger pointed for the door. I knew I had messed up BIG, as she didn't usually drop f bombs in front of my parents. Without another word, I bolted for the door and headed for the garage.

As I entered, the first thing I noticed was all of my replica Championships of actual belts I'd won throughout the years. Though each one had been a representation of all the bright spots of my career, they meant nothing to me anymore. Reminders of what I once was, all as a way to make me believe I'm still relevant. Which I SHOULD feel now, being TV Champion AND future Tag Team Champion, but all I can think about is how I'm destined for so much more and it infuriates me. Anytime a chance arises to establish myself as a legitimate threat to THE Title, an unexpected roadblock halts my progress at the worst possible moment. Blackwater getting pinned(TWICE), my respect for Ned keeping me from tossing him to his death at Leap of Faith, and of course, Noah's interference. Everytime I take one step forward, I get knocked two steps back.

And it's getting old.

I looked at the various replicas and felt sick to my stomach. 'Trophies' of how I was always second best in every Fed I competed for; companies that sucked so bad they aren't even around anymore. They were all like XWF, placating me to be complacent with my place in limbo. Never giving me a fair opportunity, and doing everything in their power to prevent me from moving up any further once I'd climbed too high! And I kept these false idols as a memento, unaware they represented all the wasted time I SHOULD'VE been competing for(and WINNING) World Championships!!!!

In another fit of rage, I began knocking all of the belts off their respective shelves. I chucked my WWF TV Title across the garage, a reminder of the reality that I was in an infinite loop in my career. I tossed my Tag Team Championships to the concrete floor, XWF, WWF, WLFC, they were all one reign runs with partners who all abandoned me at one point or another.

"I think he's breaking stuff!" I could hear my wife cry out from inside, as I swept all of the menial, Heavymetalweight-like belts that never had any right to exist in the first place.

Once the dust had settled, there was only one belt left on its perch: the NWF World Heavyweight Championship. Rather than harm it, I gently reached out for it and held it like a baby. My one reign. The whole reason for coming out of retirement, to prove it wasn't a fluke and I ALWAYS competed at a Main Event level! Even when holding belts that suggested otherwise.

Just like the night I won it, I strapped the replica World Title around my waist and stood with pride. I may not be competing for the Universal Championship Sunday night, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't carrying myself like I am. This is a test, and I have to pass it if I want to move a grade up.

"Noah Jackson. Or is it Johnson? MAYBE I should just call you Bobbi London, since apparently you're a big fan of stealing your lines from her Twitter feed! No balls, huh? If I didn't have balls, I wouldn't have challenged you to one of the most brutal matches known to man! If I didn't have balls, I'd give you the TV Title and tuck tail like a scared little puppy. But guess what, Noah?! That's not who I am, no matter how much you pay a fake doctor to tell people it is!!!! Someone without balls wouldn't be constantly trying to prove themselves against the best in the business, they'd be perfectly fine facing talent like YOU! Well, I'm not! While I'm glad to have the chance to beat you to a bloody pulp, I think it's a joke you're competing for my Championship. YOUR ceiling is the Heavymetalweight Championship, which is ironic because your dad would fucking disown you for holding that! I'm surprised he hasn't considering you ARE a former Champion."

"Besides being a former 24/7 Champion, what else have you done?

*'Made Ruby stop being a superhero'*

I don't know if that's true(haven't watched a Ruby Promo in ages), but if it IS, then all you did was ruin the one thing she had going for her. And considering she didn't have anything else besides that, I wouldn't be too proud of I were you.

*'Made Boston Bruiser a tiny, insignificant shit stain on the pages of XWF history'*

O-kay? You caused someone who was never gonna leave a mark on the business ANWAY to leave? Con-gratu-lations??? I could've sworn it was SARAH LACKLAN who sent Bruiser crying back to New England, but since she's done ALOTmore than you have I'm sure she won't mind giving YOU the credit.

*The king who made it so no one has to see another fucking awful, Miz, Roode or Kennedy promo here ever again*

How hard was that for you, Noah? You brag as if you defeated the members of Apex singlehandedly, when in reality, this is the equivalent of beating up an entire Special Ed class! As someone who's beaten Mr. Kennedy, I can atest to that."

"If you think any of those things count as leaving your mark, then you're even dumber than I thought! When you stack that pathetic list of milestones against mine, there's no question who the more accomplished athlete is. Current Television Title holder, former Xtreme Champion, Captain of a winning War Games team. There truly is no comparison."

"You think I'm gonna make mistakes because I'm angry, but let me tell you a little secret...."

"I've been angry all my life," I whispered before opening my eye dramatically wide in fake shock.

"I was angry when my team won War Games, I was angry when I decimated Thad Duke for his belt; hell, I've been angry for every single Championship reign I've ever had! This rage isn't something that just showed up the moment you smashed that can over my head, oh no, I've been furious my entire career! And in case you haven't noticed: I've done nothing but improve since my arrival! While you've been on a constant level of mediocrity, I've been rising to the top every week, my anger driving me every step of the way."

"You can call me a cunt, say I have no balls, and try to discredit all the things I've accomplished, come Lethal Lottery, you will find out just how wrong you were. It's a good thing you found a pediatrician, Noah, it only seems fitting for you; having the mind of a child and all. I only hope, for your sake, he'll be able to put you back together again after I break you. Because I'm like a Super Saiyan, finding strength in the hate I feel for my adversary. By the time the dust settles and I'm walking away STILL the TV Champion, you're gonna look just like Frieza after Goku was finished with him. And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!!!!!"

Noah had managed to ruin my life for the past few weeks. He fucked me over, caused me to seek therapy via Smash Rooms, AND enraged me SOOOOO much that I ruined Thanksgiving for my family. It was all just the build up to what was to come, the moment when it was finally Noah playing the role of the turkey or mannequin. In just a matter of days, my aggression will finally be released and Noah Jackson will be the unfortunate recipient. But considering he brought all of this upon himself, I didn't feel one bit sorry for him. Whatever he endures at Lethal Lottery will be miniscule compared to the mental angst he'd caused me, and now my family.

But that was still a few days away, for now, I had to make up for the disaster I'd made of Thanksgiving. I headed for my car, climbed on in, and started it up. There was bound to be SOME kind of store open, and if I had to roast a turkey using a flamethrower to give me family dinner, I WILL! This would be the last thing Noah Jackson EVER costs me, and he's gonna say with his life.

And I will be thankful for THAT.............

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