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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Lethal Lottery V RP Board
Bury A Friend
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Centurion Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Traditionalists

(has an old school wrestling mentality; no nonsense; less appealing to some younger fans)


#1
11-19-2019, 05:15 AM



(It always seemed to be someone’s job to clean up Centurion’s messes. And that “someone” always seemed to be Walter.

As his manager for many years, Walter had to be the one to get Centurion booked, even in times when Centurion was less than cooperative. He would also figure out travel plans and lodging. That task, thankfully, has fallen onto Allison.

He was also Centurion’s business partner for a number of years. Whatever business Centurion took part in, Walter always had a steak. Walter was always the voice of reason when Centurion wanted to do something bold and brash, and Walter made sure to steer Centurion through the dangerous side of business. With Centurion no longer controlling Centurion Enterprises, that part of Walter’s job is now over.

Walter has also been Centurion’s personal lawyer…and that part of his job is now more needed than ever before.

We open up inside the C&C Inc. training facility. There, we see Walter Crowe sitting down at a table rubbing his temples. Across the table from him stands a tall, generic looking white man in a full suit, with a leather briefcase on the table in front of him. This man is Andrew D Herman, the lawyer for former US Senator Larry Craig.)


Herman: My client has been living his life in peace for the past twelve years! He did his time! He repayed his debt to society! He doesn’t need some pro wrestler slamming him on Twitter and telling lies about him!

Walter: Yes, but again, you have to PROVE they’re lies, and you have to prove that Andy’s remarks are somehow causing harm to your client, and neither of these can be substantiated.

Herman: “Apparently he liked to be gangbanged by black dudes in DC parking lots. That’s what he wrote!

Walter: I know…

Herman: Not only is this a flat out lie perpetrated by your client, but it also has this weird racial component to it. Why are these men African Americans? What is your client insinuating by that?

Voice: I was insinuating that Larry Craig is a racist piece of shit.

(Herman and Walter both dart their eyes towards the front door, as Centurion and Allison step into the building. An infuriated Herman stares him down as he walks closer to the table.)

Herman: Mr. Cortinovis. I’m so glad you could make it. I wouldn’t want you to miss this conversation.

Centurion: There is no conversation. You were just leaving.

Herman: Leaving? I’m not leaving! You messed with the wrong politician, you understand? Senator Craig has been staffing up, waiting for the moment he can get revenge on you Hollywood liberals who ran his name into the ground. You’re going to find out that actions have consequences. You can’t just say whatever you want about patriots such as Senator Craig and get away with it.

(Centurion takes a deep breath and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a hammer. Walter and Allison both look on with a look of horror, but Centurion just casually sets it down on the table. Herman isn’t phased by any of this, likely because he has no idea what Centurion just did with that hammer.)

Centurion: What’s your name?

Herman: My name is Andrew D. Herman.

Centurion: Alright Andrew…fuckface.

(Herman, now irate, looks to cut Centurion off and scream at him, but Centurion lifts his hand up to stop him. He takes off his glove to show off his thumb, now with the stitches out, but still swollen and wrapped in gauze from the attack suffered at the hands of EDWARD.)

Centurion: You see this? My thumb. A few weeks ago, a mentally disabled man bit my thumb off in the middle of a wrestling match, so in response, I kidnapped him and broke his hand on national television.

(Harman gets a look of disgust on his face.)

Centurion: I’ve been publicly humiliated, subjected to blackmail, had my business, my home, and most of my family taken away from me. I have been slammed, suplexed, kicked and beaten down. At the age of 42 and years after I should be done with this shit, I have had pints of my own blood spilled in the ring. So if you think I’m going to be intimidated by a disgraced former senator and his Harvard educated lacky, you’re a damn fool!

(Centurion grabs Harman by the collar of the suit jacket and pins him against the wall. Walter quickly stands up and he and Allison run over to the two of them.)

Centurion: You tell that gangbang loving fascist that, if he wants to keep going down this road, I’ll go SCORCHED FUCKING EARTH on that mother fucker! I’ll drag his name through 900 layers of Hell! And if he doesn’t believe me, ask him about business deal in Coeur d’Alene! Ask him about George Latimore, and $300,000 in cash.

(Harman’s terrified look turns into one of confusion as Centurion gently sets him back down. Centurion brushes Harman’s shoulders and readjusts his tie.)

Centurion: If someone asks your client, under oath, if he ever committed the act of bribery, he couldn’t say “no.” So, ask him if he really wants to go to war with someone who knows where the bodies are buried.

(Centurion turns and grabs Harman’s briefcase. He gently hands it over to him and pats him on the shoulder.)

Centurion: Thanks for stopping by.

(A confused Harman looks over at Walter, who looks just as confused as he does. Reluctantly, he quietly walks away from the table and out the door. Centurion takes a deep breath as he turns around and faces Walter and Allison.)

Centurion: Who wants milkshakes?

Walter: What the hell was that?

Centurion: I was taking care of business.

Walter: You’re about to get your ass thrown in jail is what you’re doing! I had this under control until you decided to unleash all of your frustrations on the guy. We’re THIS CLOSE to getting your house back, and we’re gathering up all the evidence and documents we need to get your business back, and you want to throw it all away in order to be one of the “Cool Kids” on Twitter.

Centurion: I’m not doing this for Twitter, Walter! It’s all intertwined. George bought off Craig back in 2004 exchange for some federal earmarks to an energy company. That energy company turned into Lattimore Gas, and was how George was able to collect the money to buy into Centurion Enterprises to begin with.

(Walter and Allison both look surprised.)

Walter: And this was something you didn’t bother telling me…why?

Centurion: Because you would want to do everything “by the book” and quite frankly, I’m getting a little tired of that. Everyone else fucks us over by breaking the rules. And I’m not just talking business either. Politics, wrestling…all stages of life are controlled by those who go out and take it without asking permission. We don’t need patience, Walter. We need to fight back! We need to start collecting scalps, and tell all those who continue to doubt me that I’m not some pretty boy who will sit back and watch everything around him be set on fire!

(Walter looks into Centurion’s eyes, and sees what he kind of suspected – the line between the wrestling world and his real life are becoming blurred. Centurion is breathing heavy, but Walter is able to calm himself down before speaking matter of factly to Centurion.)

Walter: I’m going to send you out of the country.

Centurion: Excuse me?

Walter: You’re no good to me here. Not right now, at least. Go take a vacation. Find some ladies, get some bottles, and don’t come back until after the pay per view. You have no idea how close I am to blowing all of this wide open, and I don’t need you blowing it.

Centurion: I’m not blowing it…

Walter: This isn’t a request. You either leave, or I’m walking out this door and never coming back, and you can get your life back together on your own.

(Centurion looks angry, but is unable to do anything about it. He glances over at Allison, who just nods. Just like that, Centurion turns away from Walter and storms out of the building.)

------What Do You Want From Me? Why Do You Run For Me?------

“Nice guys always finish last.”

That’s the old saying, right? The idea being, if you’re a nice person, you’re going to be stepped on and beaten down by those who decide to be ruthless. There is a lot of truth to it – after all, you don’t get ahead in life if you don’t have a bit of fight in you. But it’s also complete bullshit in the sense that, you don’t need to be an asshole ALL the time in order to get ahead.

Look at Ruby. She is perhaps the sweetest person to ever step into a wrestling ring. The lady would give you the shirt off her back if it helped others. But she’s also not someone to be messed with, and when she’s put in a situation, she becomes a master wrestler, one that was able to take down the mighty Sarah Lacklan and win a championship.

You can also take me, for example. I don’t consider myself to be an asshole. Really, I don’t. I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I’ve hurt people close to me, but for the most part, I think I do things the right, honorable way. You don’t see me shoving swords into people’s chest or opening a bag filled with the heads of family members of former Universal Champions. I don’t whine about my spot on social media, I don’t get involved in other people’s matches, I don’t call every single person I see a “cunt”…in fact, I do a pretty good job at staying away from all kinds of slurs and awful language. Honestly, I’m pretty easy going, and a decent person to be around.

That makes people think they can fuck with me. And they are wrong.

You decide to accept a bribe from Shane right before one of the biggest matches of my career? You’re going to get hurt. You want to target me on social media and attempt to send your cronies after me and my title belt? You’re going to get hurt. You bite off my fucking thumb?

…well, you already saw what happens there.

Just because I don’t go around taping snuff films and airing horror porn on the X-Channel, doesn’t mean I can’t get ultra violent if need be. Just because I don’t WANT to do something doesn’t mean I CAN’T do something.

So next time one of you irrelevant mother fuckers decide you’re going to make a statement by attacking the Hart Champion, I want you to ask EDWARD how his hand feels, because all this “I’ll get my revenge in the ring” stuff is over. You take a shot at me, and I’m dropping you.

That leads me to my opponent for Lethal Lottery, Kris Von Dong, and his manager, Antony The Jerk. Kris’ very first actions in the XWF was to involve himself in my Hart Title match against Tony Santos. It was his introduction to the world, and he celebrated that by throwing a hammer at the glass cage and almost ruining what was a perfect match. Antony then proclaimed that, no matter who it was that hoisted the Hart Title at the end of the night, Kris was the next in line to challenge the champion.

Except…he wasn’t.

There has been an awful lot of line jumping in the XWF in its history. It’s standard fare at this point. Someone comes in, looks somewhat impressive, and immediately gets a title shot. Still, you have to at least do SOMETHING. You need one match under your belt before management could justify giving you a title shot. So, they booked Kris in a match – a very easy match, against three garbage wrestlers, with a shot at the Hart Title on the line. It was supposed to be a layup for Kris.

And he lost.

All that talk. All the bullshit Antony had spread on message forums and social media and in interviews, and his prize pupil, the man who was going to take the Hart Title immediately upon his debut, couldn’t even get past Peter Gilmour and Thunder Knuckles. Pathetic.

Unfortunately for the XWF, and fortunately for me, I have pretty much wiped out the Hart Title division. While Vita’s off with her plastic belt and Noah Jackson is somewhere polishing Fuzz’s balls, the belt DOES need to be defended, so Kris got another number one contenders match, this time against Jim Jimson.

They quite literally scraped the bottom of the barrel for that one. My assumption is they booked Jim Jimson because Job Ber Juan is nowhere to be seen. He certainly didn’t earn the opportunity. You don’t earn title shots by losing every match…though, given Big D is the TV Champion, maybe I’m completely wrong about that.

So, Kris beat back the unstoppable force that is Jim Jimson, and now here he is, challenging for the Hart Title at a pay per view, with absolutely no heat, no story, and no one thinking Kris has even the slightest chance at winning.

You know, I was criticized a few weeks ago when I faced Melanie Childs because I dedicated one full promo to running down Antony The Jerk, the manager who wasn’t even in the match. I was told I should focus on my opponents, not outside distractions. I get that, and if I was offering advice to a young rookie, I would tell them not to do what I did. Granted, I still won, but that’s the difference between a hot shot rookie and a living legend.

I do feel bad, though, because I shouldn’t have done that. Not because Melanie deserved more respect – that certainly isn’t true – but because I already blew through all my material. This week, I’m almost FORCED to talk about Antony. That’s because he’s the one with the personality. He’s the one that actually matters. Kris Von Wrong? He’s as stale as week old white bread. Not an ounce of personality in that guy. The only thing noteworthy about him is that he stumbles out from the back carrying a large hammer, looking like one of Josef Mengele’s failed experiments.

Kris, let me let you in on a little secret – being German isn’t a personality trait. You actually have to do something, SAY something interesting in order to be taken seriously. And you don’t. You never have. I don’t want to hop on the “Antony writes your promos for you” train, but if he doesn’t, he sure as hell gives you an outline. And if that was the only thing bad about you, it would be forgivable.

But it’s not. There’s also your wrestling, which may be worse than your boring personality. It’s clear your not professionally trained. I know you have this “I’m a tough guy from East Germany”, a country that no longer exists, thing going for you, but it takes more than toughness to win in the XWF. Look at every wannabe badass MMA fighter that came in under the guise of being “tough and bad”, only to immediately flame out. If you want to be a badass, you can go to Union GP. They’re always looking for burnt out wrestlers to fill their roster. If you want to be a pro wrestler, and I mean a GOOD one, you’re going to have to get a hell of a lot better than you are now.

I’m going to give you the same advice I gave Melanie – drop Antony. He’s an anchor around your neck. He offers nothing to you, and he attracts all the attention. He talks a lot of shit, then sends you to the ring to back him up, only for you to get slapped around like a child. Every time someone talks about you, they talk about Antony first. Hell, I just did it myself. The dude is a cancer to the wrestling business, and the only way you’ll ever move beyond the Jim Jimson’s and the Brian O’Haire’s of the world is if you take him out to pasture.

As far as this match goes…well, I think we already know what’s about to happen. Even you have to admit you can’t win. You don’t go from being pinned by Peter Gilmour to beating a legend in just a few short weeks. That’s not how this business works. I know you were looking forward to facing me, knocking me off my high horse and taking my title, but let’s face it – you’re not remotely ready. I don’t know what kind of talent is in you. I don’t know if you have potential or not. What I CAN tell you is that you, in your current form, with your current set of skills, are going to be absolutely shit stomped in South Africa. I’m going to dog walk you, and you can take it as either a learning experience, or as a lesson to get out of this business. That’s up to you. Some folks who got beat up by me, like Ned Kaye, took that experience and ran with it. They became better for it. Others, like Mark Brooks and Destiny Graves, decided it was a better idea to pursue another career. I don’t know which category you’re going to fall into, but you seem like a stubborn one. You’ll likely need to take a few more losses before you decide Antony is bad for you…or you decide to become a clock maker. Either or.

Enjoy your stay in South Africa, Kris. I’m sure you and Antony will have a great time hanging out in local bars and waxing nostalgic about Apartheid. Just remember, once December 1st hits, and we walk through that curtain, the story has already been written. I’ve already added the victory to my list of accomplishments. That’s because, with a full, money back guarantee, you will be the one to meet your…


FINAL FANTASY!!!

[Image: UdLSPlv.png]
XWF Record - 212-95-9
XWF All Time Wins Record Holder
Official XWF Legend
3x XWF Anarchy Champion
3x XWF World Champion
8x XWF Canadian Champion (Record for most Canadian Title reigns)
1x XWF Hart Champion
6x XWF X-Treme Champion
5x XWF Tag Team Champion
2x XWF United States Champion
Inaugural XWF IDL Champion 
1x XWF King of Anarchy
1x XWF King of Massacre
1x XWF Stable Champion
XWF Star Of The Month - May 2007
XWF Star Of The Month - July 2009
XWF Star Of The Month - December 2019
XWF Star Of The Month - December 2021
XWF Holiday Battle Royal Winner - 2007

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Atara Raven (11-19-2019), Atticus Gold (11-19-2019), Chris Page (11-20-2019), Corey Smith (11-19-2019), Ned Kaye (11-19-2019), Peter Fn Gilmour (11-19-2019), Shawn Warstein (11-19-2019), The Brothers Blackwater (11-21-2019), Vita Frickin Valenteen (11-19-2019)




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