Some people tie their shit together so it all makes sense in crocodile order or whatever. Other people find ways to make sure nothing fits and nothing makes sense. Which type is Amjetkun Socio? Oh gee I wonder!




See? Now it doesn't matter what the hell happens in this promo because it won't need to be explained during or otherwise correlate with Amjetkun's promos for the Lethal Anabolics tournament! Get it? What the hell did you think I meant when I first talked about how people tie shit together?


"Fuckin' shit, bro. I need to start working out."


That's Amjetkun Socio's voice alright but what the fuck's he talking about needing to work out? He's jacked as fuck, yo!


Ooooh wait, yeah that's because of the whole thing where nothing has to make sense today. My bad.


So anyway, Amjetkun Socio is looking fat as FUCK, dude! The man has like 800 chins and his gut looks more like planet Earth is wedged into his nasty ass body.


"Man all I fuckin' do is eat cakes, drink beer and get sucked off by hot bitches. I don't ever get any gottdayumn exercise. This shit's fucked bro, I need help! Help! HELP! HELP!!!"


Ok so dude just starts randomly yelling for help like he's being attacked or some shit. He's not even out in public though, it just looks like he's sitting on the toilet.


"HELP ME!! HELP!! I NEED HELP!! I NEED TO GET JACKED!!"


Tears were running down his face as he screamed to the heavens for help. He's sweating and breathing heavily.


HELLLP!!!! I GOTTA GET SWOLE AS FUCK BRO!!! HELP ME!!! HELP!!!"


His eyes are bulging and he's shaking like a 900 pound leaf.


"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HEEEEELLPPP FUUUUCCCK!!!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"


He's losing his shit! (take a moment to remember&appreciate he's on a toilet though! sweet!)


I guess it was just one of those moments in life where it's like someone flipped a switch in your brain and now all of a sudden something is a HUGE freakin' deal even though it was fine for a long ass time before. Ever have one of those moments? Me neither.


"HELP! I NEED IT BAD! FUCK I NEED TO GET DEM GAINZZZZ!"


He's screaming and growling and slapping himself in the face while the echo of shit farts from the toilet bowl supply a sick beat. As he continues going nuts/screaming/crying/smacking himself, it's like more gas and shit keep getting pushed out of his bloated body and inflamed colon.


Ehem....................

…............


Minutes.


Dude I'm not playing, minutes pass.


And he's still doing the same shit. Literally.


"HELP! HELP!!!" (shit fart) "HELP ME GET BIG AS FUUUUUUCK!!!!" (shit fart) "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH FUCK MY LIFE!!!! FUCK!!!! I NEED (shitfart) HELP!!!!!!!!!!!"


…..........


Oh shit what's happening?!? He suddenly looks less fat!


Oh crap!


Several more minutes pass with him just screaming for help like a fucktard and shitting his brains out, but since he is one of the few humans to grow to adulthood with no brain at all, he instead was shitting all his fat out!


That's right he's not shedding fat, he's SHITTING fat!


We knew we'd reach the point where the toilet got filled with so much shit and fat that the ongoing supply exceeded the bowl's capacity, but nobody wanted to be the one to bring it up.


Well I'm bringing it up.


Because Amjetkun's body is actually raised up from the toilet seat now as the mountain of shit and fat filling up the toilet is bench pressing him!


HIS SHIT AND FAT ARE BENCH PRESSING HIM!


Just making sure that was clear.


"I NEED TO SHIT THIS FAT AND GET BIG AS FUUUUUCK!!!!"


He keeps saying things like that which might make no sense to some people but luckily we (and whatever god with an incredible sense of humor is answering his cries) know he means he wants to lose the fat and get "big as fuck" in the muscles instead!


"FUCK I WANNA GET BIG AS FUCK IN THE MUSCLES!!!!! HELP!!!! HEEEEELLLPPP I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!"


With each explosive expulsion, more fat was replaced by muscle!


Amjetkun lets out one final roar! His biceps are glistening! What full muscle bellies! What perfect peaks!


Bro sometimes you've just got to shit your way to what you want to be in life.


Isn't that your story..................... Fuzz? Shitting up that record of yours, loss on top of LOSS until you finally got lucky and GAINED a title?


By the way bro we don't even know what day or time it is right now so you can't even hold anything I say against me while I'm staying at your place because I might have said this here shit like 3 weeks ago not knowing we'd be room mates. Cool?


So now that that's outta the way bro I just gotta say fuck you bitch!! I did my homework on you bruh and guess what I found out? You like needles a whole lot, maybe even more than I do but guess what?


You don't know what the fuck to do with the shittin' things!


There's all this footage of you all over the internet of you injecting other people with your supply and then weird shit happens to them right after.


Broh..


Are you experimenting with a new type of steroid and need volunteers to test shit on?


Because I'm game as fuck for that kinda shit!!!


But damn seeing you waste so much of your shit over the years bugs me brah! Because while you've spent the last gottdamn 40 years testing your shit out on other random assholes YOU'VE BEEN GETTING SMALLER!


You need to say fuck it and start using! Start shooting up your shit! Those fuckin' bendy ass arms you got ain't gonna help you against me bro because I've got dem big muscles!


I GOT THE BIG FUCKIN' MUSCLE BRO!


What do you GOT???................................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>




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Not shit after I'm done stealing everything out of your place but we don't even know when I recorded this so just disregard that shit bruh. Peace!