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B.O.B. D · (11-14-2019)

"What's the difference between Bobbi London and a piece of shit?"

Steve Sayors sighed and looked at the ground, not wanting to answer my question. He's the one who wanted this interview, not me, so he was gonna have to deal with it. I'd had enough talk when it came to the Internet Champion, after all of her blubbering on Twitter, I just wanted to step into the ring and throw hands.

"Shane

wouldn't have sex with Bobbi London!"

"That's....... not right," Sayors responded, face palming with his free hand.

"Yeah, well, I call it like I see it," I said with a shrug. "Bobbi London IS shit and I'm gonna expose her for it Thursday night. She may be the Internet Champion for now, but take the gold away and all that's left is a BIG, FAT pile of shit!"

"Some strong words considering the run she's had as Champion," Steve retorted, earning himself a glare.

"I'd still be the Xtreme Champion if I'd been given the same 'competition' she's had!" I replied, towering over Sayors in a threatening manner. "Don't get me wrong, defeating Noah AND Ned to become the first ever Internet Champion WAS impressive; but ever since then she's only tarnished the Title's early history. As far as I can tell, all she does is wrestle the same trio of Ruby, Maxine, and Ashley Ackles in some form or another."

"That's not true," Steve defended, reminiscent of Luke Skywalker.

"You're right," I corrected. "She also faced Mini Morbid, the man I've beaten not once, but TWICE for the Federweight Title. Just like I beat that tranny, Maxine, for the Heavymetalweight belt! And if Ashley or Ruby ever had the guts to step into the ring with me, I'd do the same to them, too!!! As much fun as it is beating up midgets and women half her size, eventually Bobbi London was gonna have to face a REAL competitor......"

I unstrapped the TV Title from around my waist and held it up for the camera, pointing to myself as I spoke.

"Well here I am!!!!!" I boasted, shaking my belt violently. "I didn't become TV Champion by hiding over on Anarchy, I did it by facing the best week in and week out! I've fried bigger fish than Bobbi London, metaphorically speaking, at least. While you were complacent eating up whatever cupcake Vinnie threw your way, I was busy facing Hall of Famers and future Legends, keeping up with each of them every step of the way! And like I told Thaddeus Duke, even though I didn't win them all, there was value in every loss. More than any win YOU'VE ever had, even over my buddy, Ned. Hindsight is 20/20 and a win over him back then means alot less than it would now. And there ain't a chance in hell you could beat either of us, now that we've reached our peaks!"

"You wanna know what Bobbi London is?" I asked, determined to open the world's eyes. "She's what you get when you take Sarah Lacklan's mouth, put it on Barney Green's body, and give it Kid Kool's talent. Or moreso, lack thereof. I won't deny she's entertaining in a 'make fun of the fat kid' sort of way, but her time in the spotlight is just about up. While no-one, myself included, can take away the honor Bobbi London has of being the first ever Internet Champion, someone HAS to end it. ALL Title reigns must come to an end. Robert Main's did, Apex's did, hell, even mine will once I become Universal Champion and am forced to vacate it."

I grasped my Championship and held it close to my chest. It meant the world to me, as did every belt I ever held, as would every one I would go on to hold.

"This Title proves I'm the King of Savage, and come Thursday night, I'll become the King of the Internet, as well. This isn't the first belt I've held, and it certainly won't be the last! After I've taken Bobbi London's Championship, I'll be a Double Champion, ONCE AGAIN, and then the dick jokes will be on HER. Which she should be so lucky, seeing as how 'beautiful' was obviously a self-proclaimed nickname."

I grabbed my crotch like I was Michael Jackson, before flipping off the camera.

"You ain't seein' NO dicks around her without Photoshop or roofies," I proclaimed, before overdramatically clenching my stomach and laughing my ass off. "Bobbi London is a terrible Champion and I'm gonna expose her like Bill Bellichick exposed the Rams' offense in the Super Bowl. She's probably one of the least credible Champions in XWF history. Her opponents are there to pad her reign, she carries herself worse than Fuzz, AND she doesn't know when to shut the fuck up!....."

I held up a finger for the camera, staring deep into the souls of whoever was watching.

"The last person to run their mouth about me on Twitter not only lost their belt, but is no longer IN the company. I drove Thad Duke out of the XWF and I'll do it to Bobbi London, if she's not careful. You might not expect it, but I want that belt......... BAD! I want to FORCE Vinnie Lane or Theo Pryce to make the wrong decision of trying to strip me! Bobbi London may be a 'good little Sheila,' but I'M NOT!!! I'm taking everything I've earned; they OWE it to me after sticking me with a shitty Lethal Lottery partner, AND constantly holding me back while giving fleas like Drezdin and Scully Universal Title shots! If they can justify that, then they can justify me holding two different Championships on two different shows! And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!!!!"

I walked away from Steve and the cameraman, focused on the task at hand. First Bobbi London, then Lethal Lottery and beyond.......

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