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Centurion · (10-31-2019)

Lightning. Thunder. Yes, you have heard this before, but this is something different.

The year is 2125, and the governments of the world have fallen. Society has collapsed, and every day is a living nightmare for those unfortunate to still be alive. What caused the downfall of society?

Zombies.

In the ruins of what was once Newark hides a mother and her young daughter, crouched behind a piece of sheet metal. The rain and the darkness makes visibility almost impossible, though the flashes of lightning does provide an opportunity for the two to scan their surroundings. The shuffling and moaning of zombies surround them, as the mindless creatures look for their next prey.

Zombie 1: Braaaiiinnns.

Zombie 2: Braaaiiinnns.

Zombie 3: Hey folks, Billy Mays here, and I’m here to talk to you about…braaiinns.

The horrifying sounds of the monsters terrifies the two survivors, but neither move, nor do they make a sound. Another flash of lightning shows a path…and they dash. Grabbing her child by the arm, the mother leaps over the metal sheet and begins to sprint down the road. Hordes of zombies immediately turn their attention to the two, and they begin to shuffle after them. Another flash of lightning reveals the destination of the two – the Newark Museum, less than a half a mile down the road from where they are running. More and more zombies are alerted to their presence, but they do not care – if they can make it to the museum, they are home free. They almost get there. Just a few feet to go, and…

CRASH!

The mother hits a pothole, causing her to go tumbling to the onto the blacktop. She screams in pain as her daughter stops in her tracks to try and help her up. The situation is dire, though, as zombies continue to advance.

Mother: Go!

Daughter: No, I won’t leave…

Mother: JUST GO!

The mother pushes the crying daughter away as she runs toward the door of the museum. The mother looks around her at the zombies who are closing in on her position, and she closes her eyes, ready to accept her fate. Suddenly.

PEW!
SPLAT!

The sound of a lazer rifle is heard, immediately followed by the sound of a zombie’s head exploding.

PEW!
SPLAT!
PEW!
SPLAT!

The rifle is taking out the zombies one by one, allowing the mother to get to her feet and hobble, on her injured ankle, toward the museum. Lazers fly by her head, taking out the zombies who attempt to chase after her. The mother gets to the door of the museum and dives into the arms of her waiting daughter. The door closes behind them, and for now, the two seem safe in the silence of the museum. They look around, trying to get their barrings, when they look up to see the man who saved their lives.

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The man is Staff Sergeant Cortinovis of what was once the United Alliance military, before it all fell to pieces.

Cortinovis: Are you two alright?

Mother: Y…yes. Thank…

The two are unable to say more than a few words as the shock of the day wears off. Cortinovis helps the two of them up and escorts them into another room of the museum, where other survivors have gathered. A fire is burning in the wall mounted fireplace, and people of all ages are either resting or being cared for by makeshift nurses. The mother hobbles to a cot and lays down as someone rushes over to check on her ankle. Cortinovis wipes some rain off his forehead and sets his rifle down.

Voice: If we’re going to keep adding people, we’re going to need to find others who are able to fight to protect them.

Cortinovis turns his head to face his long time friend, Colonel Raven.

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Cortinovis: You’re right. Let’s go find the Soldier Tree and pluck a few ripe ones off the branch! I’m doing the best I can, Jim! And what have you been doing?

Raven just smiles as he grabs Cortinovis by the arm. They walk into the next room, which is a kitchen area. Raven just winks at Cortinovis as he points to a box – inside which, sits a ton of fresh fruits and vegetables to help restock their supplies. Cortinovis blinks and looks up at Raven.

Corinovis: Wow…ok, I’m officially impressed.

Raven: Never doubt me.

The banter back and forth is interrupted by the sounds of screaming coming from the other room. The two quickly sprint out and run in, and notice what the group is screaming about, a figure in the window, attempting to work his way into the museum. It is a figure so hideous, so grotesque, that is almost makes everyone vomit.

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The figure is of the former wrestler Rain, who continues to bear the same exact look and markings he had before he died, making him the ugliest mother fucker in a sea of zombies.

Rain: Inncceesstt…..I mean, brraaiinns!

Cortinovis: This asshole. We’ve shot his head off four times and he still won’t go away. Sad part is, dude is just looking for a hug.

Raven: And to fuck his sister.

Cortinovis: That, too.

The two men go digging around through a pile of weapons. They pull out several items – flamethrower, battle axe, chainsaw, lazer guided missile launcher – before grabbing a single grenade. Cortinovis gets a big smile on his face as he glances over at Raven.

Cortinovis: Oh, I have an idea. Hand me that bag of trash.

Cortinovis points behind him to a trash bag. Raven looks confused, but does as Cortinovis asks him. He then takes the grenade and the trash bag and walks back to the front door, with Raven closely watching behind him.

Cortinovis slowly opens the door and peaks out into rainstorm in order to get a better look at the creepy ghoul. He is somewhat distracted – looking into the window and crying at the people who refuse to love him. Cortinovis then opens the trash bag, and pulls out the content from inside – the Heavy Metalweight Championship.

Cortinovis: He can’t resist this garbage. He loves it.

Cortinovis whistles at Rain, who turns his head. Cortinovis immediately tosses the Heavy Metalweight Championship out into the darkness, causing Rain to immediately turn his attention toward it. He gets a huge smile on his face as he walks out toward it with arms out stretched. As he does, Cortinovis slowly begins to creep back out into the storm, silently walking toward Rain. Rain sees the title belt and lets out a joyful grunt before picking the belt up. As he bends down to pick up the belt, Cortinovis pulls the pin on the grenade and shoves it in Rain’s pocket before standing and kicking Rain in the ass, causing him to fall forward onto the concrete.

Cortinovis: Say goodnight!

Cortinovis runs back to the museum as Rain just lays there, tears coming from his eyes, before the grenade goes off, causing Rain to explode in many different pieces, and ending the long, miserable crisis this world has been suffering with for too long.

------Another Head Hangs Lonely------

Let me start this off by doing something that is going to shock a lot of people – an apology. Specifically to my opponent this week, Melanie Childs.

See, Melanie was thrown in a bad situation. She’s just a crazy lady trying to do her best and make it in this cruel, cruel world. Unfortunately, she had to get herself tangled up with Antony The Jerk, a man who decided to piss off the very foundation of the XWF. And because of that, Melanie got thrown into the deep end.

I don’t really have an issue with her personally. Sure, she’s a brat who doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up, but I’ve dealt with worse. She thinks calling my sister hot is going to get me upset, like I haven’t heard women call my sister hot for the past 10 years.

By the way, Melanie – Allison is a happily married woman. And besides, she doesn’t go for redheads.

Anyway, nothing Melanie has personally done has caused me to raise my eire against her…except for the Vita Valenteen worship. That shit has got to stop. I understand there are some people in this company who don’t like Sarah Lacklan, and as such, they want to see Vita humble her, but Vita stuck her nose in my business. She got herself involved in one of the biggest matches of my career. Anyone who decides to tie themselves to her is going to get taken down by me eventually. The only reason I haven’t beaten Vita within an inch of her life yet is because Sarah’s doing a good enough job of that as it is on Anarchy. But the people who encourage her behavior, including a psychopath who worships her? Yeah, they’re all going to be humbled. But beyond that, Melanie is fine. She’s a nuisance, but that’s about it.

This was all about Antony, which pisses Melanie off to the greatest extent. She seems offended that I decided not to verbally abuse her. She, as well as Antony, want to continue to say that he’s “not the threat”, and that I should be focusing on my match, and not on him.

I’ve been in this business for 18 years…if I thought Melanie was a threat, don’t you think I would act like it?

The reason I say and do the things I do prior to this match is because Melanie ISN’T a threat. She isn’t going to do anything more than inconvenience my weekend. She’s a pawn, and not a very good one at that. Antony is the string puller, and Kris is the muscle. Melanie is just the crazy chick who needed a babysitter.

Is this match stipulation dumb? Of course it is! We’re going to be slamming each other onto bags of candy corn. It’s completely absurd. That’s why I demanded it. I wanted to show you just how far I’m able to go if I really decide to push my weight around. I scratched and clawed my way back up the ladder, and I worked my way back to the point where I was not only in contention for the Hart Title, but I was winning it; however, I could have simply walked into management’s office and said “hey, can I have a Hart Title match?” You know why I didn’t? Because people who jump the line are cowards and pricks. I wanted to prove how great I am, not have it handed to me.

Let me ask you something, Melanie – do you actually believe the shit that you say? Do you actually think I’m some has been that’s going to be pummeled to the ground by someone in their second match in the company? Or are these just lines fed to you by your boss? I’ll completely gloss over the fact that you used the “washed up has been” line just like everyone else has used. I’ll also gloss over the fact that you somehow psychoanalyzed a private conversation between my sister and I. What I WILL not gloss over, though, is you calling me a sexist. Anyone who knows me knows that’s the furthest thing from the truth. If I didn’t trust Allison – better yet, if I didn’t want to listen to her – do you think she would be around right now? She knows me better than anyone else, which is why she makes the perfect manager. The REAL sexist is your buddy Antony, who has you on board as the “token woman”, who uses you knowing full well that you’re untalented and not right in the head, but he also knows the XWF is lacking in women superstars, and they LOVE chicks who love chicks, so you’re going to be a nice cash cow for him.

Do yourself a favor, Melanie. Dump Antony. He will do nothing but drag you down your entire career. I know it’s scary, considering your…well, you, but you’re better off going without a manager at all than to go with someone who uses people for his own career advancement. If you want a manager, find someone who has been in this business a long time. Someone who has done it all, and had nothing to gain by helping you. And make sure it’s someone far away from Shane

– that’s a one way ticket to Hell there.

Oh, and do yourself another favor – watch what you say and who you say it to. I didn’t get mad at anything you said this week, mainly because I know most of it was written by your manager, and the parts that aren’t were either inconsequential or the ramblings of a maniac. Trust me – you’re lucky this time. Another person, a worse person, would hear your words and make an example out of you. They would bloody you up, send you to the hospital, and hope you never return. I’m not that kind of guy. That comes with maturity.

I hope you take this as a lesson and learn something from it, Melanie. I do think you can turn yourself around and have a decent career, as long as you avoid the mistakes you’ve made out of the gate, and don’t surround yourself with people who only look to exploit you. Oh, and if a legend, especially one currently holding a title belt asks you for a match, say “yes”. Don’t think about it. Don’t try and act all tough and say they “belong on a different show.” These matches are a blessing for people just starting out. I learned so much by being in the ring with legendary wrestlers early in my career. You’ll learn a thing or two Saturday night. Of course, the biggest lesson you’re learn, is what it feels like when you meet your...

FINAL FANTASY!!!

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