Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Lacklan · (10-17-2019)

SWISH!

“HOT DAMNIT!!”

WHIFF!

“Language, Sar-Sar!”

MISS!

“OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”

WOOSH!

“I SAID LANGUAGE SO HELP ME!”

Sarah Grey-Lacklan swings a bat wildly at a pinata, itself in the shape of a silly zombie, and misses by a wide margin. Beside her and holding the rope for the pinata, standing tall at 5’10” (BAY-BAY!) is a woman with golden hair and skin as pale as that of the Anarchy Champion. The two women are in the middle of a park and surrounded by a gaggle of children of all shapes, sizes, and colors, each with a look of hunger in their eyes.

“This is SO FREAKIN’ STUPID!”

“Oh, come ON, Sar-Sar!”

Sarah swings and Angie pulls it away. Sarah falls off balance as the bat goes wide.

“THAT’S CHEATING, ANG!”

“YOU BEING SHORT ISN’T CHEATING!”

Sarah narrows her eyes into slits and growls at her friend. Angie is unperturbed and narrows her owns eyes in answer to the challenge.

“I NEVER lose, Angelica Vaughn. EVER!”

“You mean except for that one time when I be-”

“AHHHHHH!”

Sarah leaps up into the air and swings the bat, catching Angie off-guard. The bat smashes into the pinata.

WHACK!

“YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT!”

Sarah screams in triumph into the air as the children rush her. They jostle and push her to the side as the candy spills from the zombie pinata, but her fearsome joy of victory turns into genuine glee as she is surrounded by the children. Angie shakes her head as she makes her way over to the group, a victim of her own distraction, and posits her hands on her bony hips.

“Winning isn’t everything, Sar-Sar.”

Sarah rolls her eyes at Angie hard enough that the kid on her immediate right falls over onto his side. She giggles and shoots her friend a wink.

“It’s just about everything. Team Heel Shit Up HIGH FIVE!”

Sarah holds her hand up into the air for a high five, but Angie narrows her eyes again. She holds her own hand up...as high as she can reach. Sarah’s neck cranes upwards to the near-foot difference that Angie’s height and wingspan give her palm and then she gives her friend the flattest look possible.

“Why are you?”

Angie laughs as she takes her hand down and tosses her hair back over her shoulder, much in a similar way that Sarah does right before “Marketing GENIUS!” is uttered.

“Why am I...VAUGHNAMOUS?!”

Sarah sighs again as she looks at all of the children and her face breaks out into a wide smile.

“Thanks for inviting me to this Dia de Los Muertos party, Ang! All of these orphans are ubes lucky to have you put your roots down in Texas.”

“Totes. They are tabs adorbs!”

“Iknowright?!”

The two chatter in their secret language for a time as Centurian feverishly takes notes somewhere. After some time of watching the kids gather and then gorge themselves on their treats, Sarah plops down her plump rump in the grass, and Angie joins her with her own brand of bony pancake booty. Without speaking, the two adjust themselves so that they are back-to-back, facing opposite directions and pressing their backs against one another.

“It IS everything, bee tee dubs.”

“Hmmm?”

“Winning! I know that you think I’m all craxy and all for that, but its true!”

“Sar-Sar, we have been over this! Its not about winning! Its about living! Its about the journey!”

“PFFFFFFT!”

Angie narrows her eyes and not-too-gently jabs Sarah’s back with her elbow, which just makes Sarah laugh harder and return the elbow.

“And that’s where you are wrong, (non-spouse) bee eff eff! It is ALL about who ends up in the winner’s circle.”

She points to her right, or Angie’s left, at the remnants of the pinata.

“See that? See that broken and useless piece of paper mache? If I hadn’t broken it open, if I hadn’t had WON, then all of these beautiful children wouldn’t be able to ruin their appetites! If it had been about NOTHING but the JOURNEY, of just the swinging and MISSING, then there would be no treats!”

She shakes her head slightly, the backs of their heads gently rubbing against the other.

“Ya know, its an odd thing. My entire career in the XWF has been me talking about how, no matter WHAT, what MATTERS is winning, and I have received a SHIT TON of defiance from people about that. A whole BUNCH of titty babies who get all UP in their diapers by my AUDACITY that being SUCCESSFUL is important! But of course, its always from the people who LOSE who get butthurt the most. Like Vita, right? So wound up about losing a THIRD time in a row that she has to become the #BovineFecalMatterChampion! And don’t even get me STARTED on all of the dumbass shit that happens on Anarchy!

“In a world where Shane

has to claim that I have matches rigged...or otherwise poison people ahead of time...because THAT is a great excuse for BADASS AMAZEBALLZ LEGENDS losing to a precision thoroughbred...I have had to deal with freakin’ ‘zombies’ along with time-travelers and aliens.”

She points at the pinata again.

“Last month, I tossed on a Hazmat suit and made fun of this zombie dude, right? Spent a LOT of money and creative juices to ‘rig’ that match. What happens? BLAM! Headshot and the dude is sent to the Abyss. And now he gets a SECOND chance to NOT shit the bed? Another chance to LOSE?! What a waste of time! I can’t WAIT for the NEXT excuse!”

They sit in silence for a moment.

“Hey...Sar-Sar?”

“Yeah, Ang?”

“You wanna talk about how you can’t have kids?”

Silence. Angie gives herself a small nod.

“It’s okay, I-”

“...I guess I can’t win everything.”

Sarah’s body heaves slightly as she fights back a sob. Angie pushes her back straighter into Sarah’s, lending her friend as much silent support as she can.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The Pigeons Come Home to Roost - Interlude
Author	Message