Thunder Knuckles is in the XWF video archive studying for his match against Wylie Sinclar with Jimmy. Thunder Knuckles is dressed up like Robocop, because it's Halloween season assclowns, yet it’s fitting for this match.

Okay, Thunder Knuckles what do you think?

Thunder Knuckles is now staring at a blank screen

Well?

Thunder Knuckles still staring at a blank screen until he turns his head to Jimmy to say.

He’s charming, I guess…

Jimmy cuts off Thunder Knuckles.

That's it?

Fuck no! I was gonna say something clever like. Charm didn't pay the FIVE THOUSAND xbux for him to win the damn match, did it? Buuut nooo Jimmy had to cut me the fuck off, didn’t he?

Thunder Knuckles slaps the shit out of Jimmy.

You had to go ruin it, didn’t you?

I'm sorry Thunder Knuckle, I’ll try not to let that happen again. So Wylie Sinclair's ring name is Clockwork.

Thunder Knuckles rolling his eyes because Jimmy likes to call them by their real names and Thunder Knuckles finds this to be annoying.

Ah, fuck! Here we go again. His name is Cockwork.

Thunder Knuckles looks sternly at Jimmy.

Okay, Cockwork. Cockwork was made in Fukuoka, Japan…

Thunder Knuckles confused says...

What do you mean made?

Now looking at Jimmy like he’s stupid as fuck.

He’s a half-cyborg….

Thunder Knuckles cuts off Jimmy.

Bullshit!

No bulls around these parts, Thunder Knuckles. He has a soul too!

Thunder knuckles looks up to the ceiling and begins to daydreaming of the last thing he knows a cyborg from.



Thunder Knuckles looks back a Jimmy and cracks a slight smile.

Fucking cartoons.

His slight smile fades to a not face.

This is getting fucking ridiculous, Jimmy! XWF first puts in in a match against Force Gape the half-alien superhero, Which I beat. Now this half-robot, cyborg, Johnny 5 / short circuit, whatever you wanna call this, bullshit. I'm JUST A FUCKING MAN JIMMY! I might be dressed up like robocop, not knowing how fucking ironic that was when I chose to be him for Halloween, but fuck!

Jimmy looks disappointedly at Thunder Knuckles for a change.

I know Thunder Knuckles, but you can beat him. I know you can. Let's take a look at his strengths.

He’s a fucking robot, there's a strength.

Thunder Knuckles said rolling his eyes.

Beyond that Thunder Knuckles and it’s…

Jimmy pushes up his glasses like a true fucking nerd.

Half cyborg really. Get serious Thunder Knuckles, he’s driven by determination and will power.

More like motor oil and the tears of Japanese sweatshop laborers.

Thunder Knuckles scoffs.

Anyways, He’s got enhanced stamina, durability, and agility.

Thunder Knuckles is starting to grow less concerned about what Jimmy is telling him, but he's trying not to trail off in his mind.

Of fucking course he does. Does he share his xbux with someone, Like the FUCAYOUA CORPORATION?

No.

Thunder Knuckles with a smirk on his face.

At least he’s smarter than the Blackwaters.

That brings me to my next point, He’s super smart.

Thunder Knuckles looks at Jimmy displeased.

I swear to fucking God, Jimmy! Of course, he’s fucking smart. He’s a GODDAMNED COMPUTER!!!!!!

Thunder Knuckles said very angrily.

Well, I would tell you something he said about you but he’s been awfully quiet.

Who really gives a fuck either way, he don't sign my checks.

Thunder Knuckles’s ADHD is starting to kick in, until Jimmy says...

He has a weakness I think YOU can exploit.

Oh yeah, what's that Jimmy? Does he need to be plugged in every three hours or his batteries run out...no, no, no, He can’t see the color purple...Wait, He’s full of shit!

Jimmy said shaking his head no.

Do you still talk to Fred?

Yeah, I talked to Fred on Friday. It was his last visitation day before his release from Mansfield State Penitentiary.

Thunder Knuckles not thinking of why Fred was in prison.

Well, what did Fred go to prison for?

OH SHIT! YOUR RIGHT JIMMY!!!!!

Jimmy smiling cause he knows Thunder Knuckles finally got what he was getting at.

He went in for hacking the C.I.A.

If he can hack the C.I.A. Then he can surely hack an android.

Thunder Knuckles smiles.

HA! He’s a fucking phone!

Not that kind of android, but clever.

No shit Jimmy, you're fucking stupid sometimes, you know that.

Thanks, Thunder Knuckles, that means a lot coming from you. Just know, he’s brave and fearless in a fight Thunder Knuckles...

It won’t do him any fucking good if I get ahold of Fred! Fred will just shut him down for the one-two-three. Speaking of which I’m gonna give him a call right now.

We’ve got more to talk about Thunder Knuckles!!! Come back!!!!

Thunder Knuckles got up and walked out of the room and called Fred, his dear friend who just got out of prison.

What's up, you dick pincushion! What are you doin?

The voice on the phone is inaudible.

Remember last Friday when I told you, I joined XWF.

You could barely hear the voice on the phone this time.

Hell yeah!

Well, I'm booked against Cockwork, and he’s a robot, cyborg, thing. A walking, talking, soul having, computer. So I need your help.

The voice on the phone is inaudible again.

I know, I know you don't wanna go back to prison but somehow Vinnie Lane gets everyone off. HA! I just realized how dirty that sounds.

Thunder Knuckles begins chortling to himself because he’s a big dumb dummy. He’s trying to regain composer of himself but presses on.

Vinnie Lane gets people out of they’re criminal charges all the time! That roster of theirs has committed so many crimes throughout the years, I figure he can get you off too!

Thunder Knuckles begins chortling to himself again. The voice on the phone is still too faint to hear.

Okay so I have your word then, if it doesn't take your ass back to prison, you'll help me out.

The voice on the phone could be heard loud and clear now.

YES!

Thunder Knuckles starts his salesman pitch voice.

Good! I’ll send you a plane ticket to HONOLULU, HAWAII. Via, Southeast Airlines. I’ll use my Southeast quick rewards card. Where I get four thousand points every year on my Cardmember anniversary, three points for every one dollar I spend on Southeast Airlines purchases, and two points on any other purchases, isn't that great Fred?

You can’t hear The voice on the other end of the line, but then again, I don't believe Fred said anything to that. Fred knows Thunder Knuckles is a money whore.

Alright buddy, you just make sure you make your flight. I’ll meet you at my hotel in Hawaii. You can come out to the ring with me. Get the whole XWF action up close and personal.

Thunder Knuckles walks back in the room with Jimmy.

Okay, Jimmy, Fred is all squared away he's gonna meet me in Hawaii. We’re gonna fuck up this Will Robinson protecting fucker.

That's the spirit Thunder Knuckles! We got some more stuff to cover…

Thunder Knuckles is thinking about how he still hasn't been paid, while Jimmy is talking about Cockwork. You see Thunder Knuckles only truly cares about one thing. Xbux. He figures if he becomes an xbux millionaire the world is his oyster. He knows he’s gonna have to do something soon because services rendered, should be paid.

FUCKING HELL JIMMY!

What!?

You keep going on and on, about the dancing half-robot, can we get to someone else already. You know we're booked for a number one contender match for the Hart Championship, on Warfare October twenty third!

Afraid not Thunder Knuckles, I want you to be better prepared. So you don’t get your ass kicked as bad as you did in that fatal four-way!

Thunder Knuckles smacks Jimmy again this time so hard Jimmy’s eyes begin to water.

It was a fucking toolbox!

I know. I'm sorry.

Jimmy says with a whimper of a scorned dog.

There were screws and nails, and I didn’t take the pinfall!

That’s only because…

Yeah I know, fucking Michigan trash!

Parts Unknown.

Yeah, that’s what I said.

I guess we can watch some more tape of Cockwork…

Thunder Knuckles feels bad for Jimmy but will never say it to him. Because kindness for the sake of kindness, is weak, in Thunder Knuckles's mind. Jimmy smiles. Feeling important and that his job matters to Thunder Knuckles. Thunder Knuckles sees the cameraman, looks into the camera and says…

Hey, roster! Don’t forget to place your orders for the Lethal Lottery turns out more people are interested than you think, but they're not telling and I’m not showing my cards yet.

Thunder Knuckles looking amused until Jimmy says...

He has a human side, ya know.

Thunder Knuckles snaps out of his smile.

His human side was a bitch!

Why do you say that?

Look at him! The fuck do you mean? He looks like the Dawson kid from the creek, threw up all over the UPN creative staff.

You do know that UPN doesn't exist anymore, right?

Thunder Knuckles brushes off what Jimmy just said, mostly because he didn't hear him.

He’s one of the Elite!

Thunder Knuckles looking bored.

The fuck is that?

Well, it's got the Brothers…

Thunder Knuckles looks irritated because he knows what's coming.

Shut the fuck up.

Black…

Thunder Knuckles is becoming angry because Jimmy is straight not listening.

I said shut the fuck up.

Jimmy gets slapped for not shutting the fuck up, but not too hard this time.

Okay… seriously though, you've been fucking with the fate of the world!

Good. Fuck this rock!

Thunder Knuckles meaning every word. Jimmy looking shocked.

WHAT!?

Thunder Knuckles with the most serious look you’ve ever seen on his face.

I mean, as long as I get xbux. We’re fine. I can assure you that xbux can be used in space after all this shit is over. Bet!

Jimmy looking confused.

Bet what?

Jimmy your so fuckin old, bro.

That doesn't matter though, I got you a present for putting in these long hours.

Jimmy smiling from ear to ear knowing damn well what Thunder Knuckles would consider a present.

I loooove surprises!

Jimmy says still smiling like a , who just saw fireworks for the first time. In walks two very scantily clad women. They're prostitutes, not top dollar either, more like a bargain bin.

Have fun Jimmy I’ll call your wife to make sure she knows you’ll be home late!

Thanks, Thunder Knuckles!!! I’ll buy THAT shit for a dollar.


Jimmy said beaming with joy. Thunder Knuckles walks out of the room leaving Jimmy with the mess, and whores. The cameraman continues to film Jimmy until Thunder Knuckles pulls him away by the shirt collar and says….

Come on you fuckin D-gen! I got a costume party to get to.

The cameraman flips the camera back to Thunder Knuckles and Thunder Knuckles says...

Cockwork you should have paid, now your just like Force Gape, a punchline to this joke.

Another step forward for me being the highest-grossing ‘rassler in XWF history, who's up next?

Oh, speaking of which, XWF fans Ol’ Thunder Knuckles will be in action again on October twenty third on Wednesday Night Warfare. Where I go to war against Drezdin’s girlfriend, Kris The Hammer Vonn Bonn, and Peter FN Gilmore. For the Hart Championship number one contenders spot. Stay tuned in, or don’t, my contract doesn't say I get paid for ratings.

The scene fades to black.