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Centurion · (10-05-2019)

(Champion.

It had been a long time since Centurion heard that word attached to his name. Eight years. Eight long, excruciating years that took him from the king of the world to the depths of dispair. Eight years of love, loss, and repair. Many had left him for dead.

And yet, here he is, a champion once again in the XWF. Not only was he able to win his first title in nearly a decade, and not only was he able to win a belt he never won before, but he did it against a man who had a stranghold over the division and the title.

Needless to say, celebration was in order. So he rented a party yacht to set sail from Miami to the Bahamas.

We open up on the deck of the yacht. There, we see the XWF Hart Title on full display in a glass case in the middle of the deck, as if it were a centerpiece for a meal.

Sitting in a deck chair overlooking the festivities is Centurion, who is shirtless and in a bathing suit, so his recent wounds are on display. Standing behind him, rubbing his cuts and bruises, is a bikini clad Genevieve Tate. She is taking extra special care of Centurion, who has sunglasses on and seems pleased with his life, despite the obvious physical ailments.

Sitting next to him are a bikini clad Allison, as well as Jocelyn, who is in a tank top and shorts. Smoke billows up into the sky, and underneath it is James Raven, grilling up some burgers, sausages, and other assorted meats. His blonde bombshell of a girlfriend, Betsy Granger, stands next to him, drink in hand, looking like a model who refused to be outdone by anyone else on the boat. All in all, the scene is pretty typical for a boat ride in the summer....except...)

Boris: Save a sausage for me, blin!

(Boris, Centurion's tag team partner this week, sticks out like a sore thumb. He is wearing a full yellow track suit, sunglasses, a black wool mask that covers most of his face, and a wool Russian hat. He stands, hands on hips, looking over at the grill.)

Centurion: Sit down, Boris. There's plenty of food. Crack open a beer and relax.

(Boris, not one to turn down a beer, walks over Centurion, who hands him a LaBatt Blue. He then grabs a seat near Centurion and sits down. Boris takes the cap off and takes a swig, somehow going through the mask that covers his face without effecting it, almost as if it's magic, because we live in a world with no rules. Boris looks at the beer and shrugs.)

Boris: Is ok.

Centurion: Tell me about yourself, Boris. How many matches have you had.

Boris: One

Centurion: No, I'm not talking about the XWF. I mean total. You just have gone through some indie federation first, right?

Boris: Nu blin, I never wrestled before last weekend.

(Centurion blinks and looks over at Jocelyn, who just laughs. He then looks at Allison, who just shrugs her shoulders. Finally, he glances at Raven, who has a giant grin on his face and shakes his head, but doesn't stop grilling.)

Centurion: So...you've never won a wrestling match before.

Boris: We all start somewhere, comrade.

Centurion: No, I understand that, but...this is a big main event. For a pretty big show. Featuring some big names...and Brian O'Haire. I know the guy who booked this show. He's been my best friend for over 20 years. I'm just wondering what the thought process was. Like, why did he choose you to be my partner?

Boris: *shrugs* Maybe he wanted to draw big ratings with international Slav superstar!

Raven: Makes sense to me.

(Centurion glances over at Raven as the rest of the boat laughs under their breath.)

Centurion: Just...don't get in my way out there.

Boris: Boris knows what to do. You are veteran. Boris is brand new to this business. This is your match, not mine. Besides, you can probably win on your own.

(Centurion stops and turns his head to Boris, and slowly lowers his sunglasses.)

Centurion: What did you say?

Boris: You can win on your own. Boris is just helper. Neither wrestler is champion. You are champion, blin. Boris being in this match made it go from easy to a lock for you.

(Centurion cracks a smile before reaching down next his chair and pulling out a beer from the cooler. He takes the cap off and leans the beer over to Boris, looking for a toast.)

Centurion: I like you.

(Boris, not quite understanding the idea of a toast, just grabs the bottle of beer, and is now double fisting them. He takes two sips - one from each beer - before calmly setting them down next to him.

Boris: Thank you, comrade.

(Centurion just laughs as he grabs another beer, and this time, he opens it and actually begins to drink it. He stares over at the Hart Title and continues to admire it as Raven turns off the grill and starts putting things on plates.)

Centurion: She sure is beautiful.

Raven: Seriously, you have a beautiful half naked woman rubbing her tits against your neck and the only think you can admire is a belt made of gold?

Allison: I'm with James on this one. I knew you always took after your twin sister, but I didn't think that meant you were gay, too.

(The rest of the boat laughs as Centurion shifts his head and body around to be able to face Genevieve.)

Centurion: I can admire them both.

(Centurion stares at Genevieve with a big smile on his face. She kneels closer to him, a large smile on her face, as well. The two lean into each other, looking as if they're going to kiss...only for a thick Slav accent to interrupt them.)

Boris: Women, they come and go. But glory, blin! It is eternal. Enjoy your time in the sun.

(Centurion and Genevieve both stop. Centurion sighs, before sarcastically responding.)

Centurion: Thanks, Boris.

(Genevieve kisses Centurion on the top of his head before standing up and tussling his hair. She then walks over to the grill, as the rest of the crew begin to stand up, as well. Centurion raises his sunglasses back up and closes his eyes.

Here he is, a champion, sitting on a yacht, surrounded by loved ones...and Boris. Centurion thinks about where his life was six months ago. This wouldn't happen in his dreams. And yet, it's the reality. He's almost to where he wants to be in life...

...almost.)

-----I've Got A Bottle Of Tequila I've Been Saving For You-----

I'm back, bitches.

Now, before you say "but wait, you've BEEN back" I'm not talking about back in the ring. I'm back on top. I'm back holding gold. I'm back to being one of the baddest mother fuckers on the planet, and I have the gold to prove it.

Sorry to all the Carverites out there who would rather see me dead. Hate to ruin your dreams, but hey, you have a dude pretending to be a clown pretending to be Satan pretending to be a pirate as your Universal Champion. That's some decent entertainment for you, right?

Oh, if I seem like a bitter man rubbing it in, that's because I am. There is no amount of "I told you so's" that I can dish out right now. Just know that I'm currently riding on a high that no amount of cynics and doubters will take away from me.

But that's another story. That's another week. Right now, the focus is on The Bahamas.

After Hurricane Dorian savages Grand Bahamas Island and left so many homeless, I know I had to step in. I watched on as the people of Puerto Rico struggled. I watched on as the people of Haiti struggled. I would not watch on now. I have a voice and the resources to get involved, so I immediately contacted the XWF to get this show up and running.

This is what we should be doing more of. The XWF has been around for 20 years - they should be taking more action in regards to charity. We do so much global expansion, but it only seems to be when things are perfect. We don't want to face the reality of life. Which I get. The XWF is a business that wants to make money, and people looking to be entertained want distracted from the harsh realities of everyday life.

Still, if you have the means, give to the people of The Bahamas. All proceed for this event is going to Bahamas Red Cross. Go to https://bahamasredcross.org/ to donate. It's one month later, but the people still need your help. More details on how to give are available on the website. Now, to the fun stuff...

For people who don't know, I actually wasn't in charge of booking the show. I came up with the idea, booked the venue, that kind of thing, but it was my old buddy Walter Crowe who actually decided the card. Because, seriously...why the hell would I put Brian O'Haire in the main event?

It's one of the questions that will haunt me until the end of my days. I hand Walter a list of talent who signed up for the show, and he comes up with me and Boris vs Brian O'Haire and Legion in the main event. Now, Legion I understand. Dude has been around for a long time, and if he wants to wrestle, then hey, he deserves the shine. Boris is a head scratcher. I mean, he's funny, and he's started to build a bit of a cult following, but main event may be a bit strong. But Brian O'Haire?

I guess Walter got wrapped up in the "Box Office" moniker without doing his research. How many tickets has Brian O'Haire actually sold? And I mean for anything - wrestling, movies, local stage productions. Has anyone actually purchased a ticket because they heard Brian O'Haire was a part of the show? My guess is his own mother probably avoided that.

Also, "Box Office"? He's "straight to DVD", at best. My guess is his only real staring role is in Filthy McNasty 6: The Filthiest And The Nastiest. Oscar worthy shit right there.

But Brian is in luck. See, not only does he get a trip to The Bahamas, but he also gets an education along the way. Winning a multiman match at a pay per view may SOUND impressive, but when your two opponents are a doughy Slav rookie and the human manifestation of syphilis then it no longer looks like you did anything great. This week, though, he gets to step foot in the ring with a living legend and the newest XWF Hart Champion, and that is an education money can't buy.

Also, there is the slight, tinyest, very minuscule chance that I could trip over my shoes and Brian could pin me, which would pretty much assure him of a title match. That wouldn't happen had Walter not been so generous in offering him this match. So, I would say "good luck", but I don't mean it...and Brian is going to need a hell of a lot more than luck to be able to pull off a victory. He will need divine intervention.

The real highlight of that team is Legion. Now, let me first get this out of the way - no, Legion is not a legend. I have heard some people try to make the argument, but it's silly. Just because he was around for a while doesn't mean he's Legend worthy. Legion spent most of his career as a low carder, opening up shows and being the first person someone beats on their way to an actual big match.

So, why is he in this spot? For two reasons. One, he's a hard working dude, and I respect hard working dudes. I don't care if Legion didn't win a single match in his career - he deserves an opportunity, especially if he's going to agree to come back to the ring for a charity show.

The second reason is because he deserves a hell of a lot more than to be relegated to a match against Chasm like he was at XX. There are few people in this business whom I felt serve no purpose to this industry, and Chasm is one of them. I'm not talking about just skill - I'm talking about what they bring to life in general. For Legion to agree to come back to the XWF only to be thrown into a match against Chasm...that just isn't right.

So this was my one request for Walter - book me and Legion in some capacity on the show. I thought maybe it would be one on one. I guess, in the interest of time, he decided to make it a tag match. No big deal.

Make no mistake about it, though - this is nothing more than a vacation match for me. After being brutalized inside a glass cage, and working in Freeport for the past few days, I need a break, and this is that break. I may not even take off my shirt. Hell, I may let Boris do all the work..

...nah, that's a bad idea.

Yes, I know. I shouldn't be talking like that. That's what "bad people" do. That's what all those wrestlers I hate do. But I am also not in a position to lie to people. Facts are facts - I just defeated one of the longest reigning Hart Champions of all time, and now I'm going against an older wrestler who never sniffed the World Title, more less the Universal, and another wrestler who is in like, his third match and has looked pretty weak in his lead up to this.

Maybe that's why Walter put Boris in this match - to give them a chance. Put me in on the same time as someone with an ounce of experience, and this match wouldn't go two minutes. Jokes on him - Boris actually IS halfway competent...at least, I hope he is.

This is going to be fun, and I get to provide the good people of The Bahamas something to cheer for when Legion and Brain O'Haire meet their...

FINAL FANTASY!!!

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