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Vita Frickin Valenteen · (10-03-2019)

A half bottle of wine.

A beautiful Miami sunset that cast the sky a magnificent pink hue.

The “Anarchy” championship that I EARNED sitting across from me.

Yeah, I’d say that this is just about a perfect night…

Ugh….

Except for that crappy royalty free music playing in the background.

Just give it a listen…

It sounds like some generic crap that you’d hear playing in an orientation video…

But it serves its purpose by reminding me about that stupid Bahama’s benefit show. You know, the one where I’m not getting paid a dime to perform and am expected to apparently cover all expenses myself, hence the crappy music and lack of production value in this video!

Listen, my heart goes out to those poor people. They have been forced to deal with the devastating destruction of WIND! And now that all of their stick huts have blown over, they need US to flip the bill and rebuild their homes for them! Totally understandable. It's not like the Bahama's are one of the top grossing tourist attractions in the world or anything.

THEY NEED OUR MONEY!!!

So I have to give up MY paycheck and I have to cover the production of MY video for this show!

The best part is that I have proof that this is actually some biased bull crap, because I know for a FACT that at least one other person has been compensated for his time! I know that I'm not getting paid, and I know Noah isn't either, but I have to wonder if the charitable nature of this event is just limited to the two of us? How about everyone on this show sound off with how much you're making for the night? Maybe if we PROVE that there is biased, then I can take some legal action against Centurion and whatever that forgettable asshole's name is who put this show together.

Now if that wasn’t bad enough, this is also the show where Centurion decided to be a PETTIEST OF PETTY CUNTS by having Noah and I booked in the FRICKIN’ OPENER! Not only that, but the shit head ALSO has us FACING EACH OTHER! Why? Because he thinks he’s proving a point.

She rolls her eyes.

The only point that you’re proving is that you’re a shitty promoter who’s such a self absorbed asshole that you can’t book a show without your colossal ego and personal feelings getting in the way of business!

Any promoter worth his salt would damn well know that if you’ve got Vita and Noah in the same ring, that ish goes on LAST every time! I mean COME ON! On one hand you’ve got the “Hardest Worker” in the XWF, and on the other hand, you’ve got “The greatest PURE Technical Wrestler” the world has ever known! No championship, no legend, NOBODY can possibly outshine the magic that we’re about to make!

Oh, what’s that? You thought I’d whine about having to face Noah one on one? HA! I welcome the opportunity to put my skills to the test against someone as talented as Noah. The only reason that I spoke up about it before, was because I couldn’t believe how PETTY you were being by designating us to the opening match.

A smirk turns into a giggle.

It’s not even a good play on your part. You aren’t hurting us, you’re hurting yourself my dude. Tell me, how likely do you think it is that ANY of the matches set to follow us can possibly hold up to what will inevitably become known as THE MOST PERFECT WRESTLING MATCH TO HAVE EVER EXISTED!

ANYWAY!

Since I’m NOT getting paid for this show, that’s all of the promotion this show is getting from me, but don’t worry, because payday or no, me and Noah are going to blow the roof off of the Imperial arena JUST to make the rest of your stupid show look as amature hour as it really is!

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