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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Shove-It! Boards » Shove-It! RP Board
Jim overdoses on cocaine and gets high off petrol
Author Message
Jim "the Jim" Jimson Offline
The man, the myth, the legend, the pin



XWF FanBase:
Not Over

(the perfect heel; hated even by the fans who usually cheer heels; pisses off internet fans too)


#1
10-04-2019, 07:50 PM

The camera pans over to a tall building

Than pans downwards to a Jim Jimson sitting in an alleyway with his title.


Hello, people of the Jimson fanbase, my name is Jim Jimson and I am your Heavymetalweight champion of the world.

So after ma loss, I decided to go to the Bahamas straight away becuase I really can't go back home without a win, but what I didn't expect was a bunch of fuckin dolphins to swarm me and take me away.

It turns out when I went to SeaWorldtm with Big D and killed 4 dolphins to get in his head. I accidentally killed the dolphin king and the rest of the royal dolphin family. So now I was being taken to dolphin court, and since I literally killed their king in broad daylight in front of multiple people recording me jumping into the dolphin exhibit with a knife so, I was fucked.

Sentenced to life imprisonment with no parole, the dolphins took me away to a human prison, but when you walk up to the prison with multiple dolphins and try to explain that you killed the royal dolphin family and sentenced to life imprisonment, the officers look at you as if your a fucking madman and think you belong in a nuthouse and tell you to walk away and to hand over the dolphins over to animal control

This taught me 3 things

1. Don't fuck with dolphins

2. DONT. FUCK. WITH. DOLPHINS

And 3. You gotta be tough or people/ dolphins will fuck you up.

So I'm gonna become the meanest meanie around


Jim puts on a T-shirt lying on the floor that says 'only pineapples on pizza'


See! Nothing is more evil than pineapples on pizza, only pineapple, no cheese, no sauce, I'm the biggest bad guy on earth! Oh yeah, I also have 12 kilos of cocaine.


The camera pans slightly to the left of Jimson to reveal a small mountain of cocaine.


Bad guys do cocaine, right? So if I just finish this off, ill be the super-duper tough guy......


Jim looks up 'how to use cocaine' on google and is horrified on learning that you have to snort it

After siking himself up he lines up a small part of the monstrous pile and snorts it up


OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH



43 hours later


Jim wakes up in a hospital bed, he ended up having a heart attack after snorting 7 kilos. A homeless man has been charged with drugging a person and possession of illegal drugs. Jim luckily woke up from his drug-induced coma


Ok... So I'm out of the hospital, turns out doing that much cocaine is dangerous and I've gotten extremely lucky.

So I've added something to my list of rules

4. Don't do cocaine

5. Seriously don't mess with dolphins.


Jim leaves the hospital and plans on just leaving the Bahamas until the ground starts shaking below him, it then opens up below him, leaving him falling and falling until he finally lands in some water. Luckily there's a pool floaty he can sit in


Hello Jim

I've been waiting


Jim looks up to see a bright shining light and figure he can't fully make out yet.


You have tried to escape us but you can't, you cannot escape an empire that has lasted for billions and billions of years



Wait a minute, I know who you are, oh for fu-



I am the Dolphin king, you may have killed me but my spirit lives on, I cannot die, I am unkillable


Multiple dolphins rise from the water and start to circle the pool floaty like sharks


You will be brutally dry-humped to death by dolphins if you don't fight for the honour of the dolphins at the battle for the Bahamas, you must defeat the other tribes, you must win Jim.



God I really shouldn't have done cocaine



You see the dolphin tribe have been fighting for dominance over the land of SeaWorldtm for billions of years against powerful tribes like the penguin and manatee tribes, but now the battle has reached the Bahamas as the whale tribe summoned a hurricane named Dorian with help of the Antartic tribe which roughly translates to 'haha f u dolphins' in dolphin language, those overweight fucks knew what they were doing when they formed an alliance with the Antartic tribe, now we are on the verge of being wiped out as the Antartic Whale tribes continue to attack our base in the Caribbean with these hurricanes they keep sending at us.

The people you face in a couple of days are descendants of the Whale tribe and the Antartic tribe

to prepare you for your match, I have given you a gift, a gift that will surely help you in your battle against the tribe


A bright light appears in front of Jim, the blinding light makes Jim close his eyes. When he opens them up, he wishes he didn't. Jimson sees a jerry can floating infrot of him.


This is petrol, you gave me petrol what am I meant to do with petrol



Jim, you know what you must do. You must sniff the petrol



Hold up, you want, me, an Australian, that lives in a rural community to sniff the petrol. Who do you think I am, an aboriginal in central Australia? what the fuck is wrong with you, you royal piece of sh-



Jim, let me finish or I will send to dolphins to swarm you

Jim, when you sniff the petrol you will reach a higher level of existence if you don't sniff the petrol you will be murdered by my loyal subjects


Jim goes in for a with of the petrol and passes out from overpowering smell


6 hours later


Jim wakes up to see a tall building then looks down to see another semi-unconscious homeless man, Jim has no idea if what just happened is real or if its a hallucination. Jimson tries to put this behind and pulls out his phone and watches the brand new promo uploaded by Konrad Raab. After watching the promo he knows what he must do


Hello, people of the Jimson universe, I am your host Jim Johnson.... or am I Jimmy Jimson. I can't remember. Anyway, I would like to say that I AM THE HEAVYMETALWEIGHT CHAMPION. LOOK AT MY TITLE, ITS MINE, LOOK AT IT IN ALL ITS SHINY GOODNESS. This title was won by me, yes me, I won the title. I've defended the title and I'm proud of that and nobody can take that away from me. I'm here to talk about how I am going to fight in the heart of the Bahamas and how I'm going to beat Barney Green and Konrad Raab.

Yep, that's their names, Barney and Konrad. I would say more but, apparently, I don't care enough.

Who the fuck do you think you are Konrad, I can't believe you just showed up and think your Jesus Christ, Gandhi Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr combined. I can't believe the people in charge of XWF let you into this company. You talked about your accomplishments and how you wrestle in Unified Global Wrestling Coalition and Supreme Championship Wrestling. you've won ten titles in your career. How about this why don't you take those titles you won in those other companies and give them over to your butt buddy, Jerry Flack's and have him shove them into your arse. You may have won those titles in GWC and SCW, but that doesn't mean shit in the XWF. You are just a gay fuck with an ice fetish, I mean come on, rubbing ice onto your body. Now, that's just weird.



Almost like he's used to arctic climates and is a descendant of the tribe


Jim hears a disembodied voice ring through his ears


Yeah, that's right Konrad. You're a fuckhead, pretending to be a good person and a descendant of the artic tribe that is obviously inferior to the dolphin tribe.


Jim pauses for a second, even he realises this is weird as fuck.


Now let's look at the other old piece of shit in this match. Let's see...... you are an overweight loser that has one eye. What did you do eat the other eye, must have been a competitive day at Maccas. Mr Green, it says it in your name, your green, jealous. It all started at relentless. You had a match on day 3, but that's, not enough for you, you need to make sure everyone in the world knows that you are a wrestler. You jumped into my match that was mine to win. I had a gameplan, grab something on the boat and whack everyone in the face with it. You decided to help me try to eliminate Big D, but no your big fat fingers couldn't hold onto him and you let go and got a face full of boiling fondue, Then got eliminated. If you actually held onto Big D he would probably he eliminated meaning he couldn't double team me with Ravenwood. I lost that match because of you and let's be honest you had no chance of winning that match. No matter what you would be swimming with the fish.



Or whales, he could be swimming with whales because that's where his family is hanging out


Jim once again hears the voice ring through his ears


Yeah.....

that's right. He cost me winning a title shot AND his family are a bunch of fat, ugly whales. Dolphins are also pretty amazing


Jim still thinks this is weird as fuck.


At, the battle of the Bahamas, I go into the match as Jim Jimson, but I will leave as a winner.






This promo was brought to you by Seaworldtm, come visit today and see all our cute and awe-inspiring sealife.



7x Heavymetalweight champin
1x Federweight champion

XWF record
8-12    

Universal record 13-24  


The relatives of Jim Jimson
Jimmy Jimson
Jim Johnson
James Jimson
J. Jonah Jimson
Jimmy Jimmy
Jimbo Jimson
Jimbo Baggins
Jackenhoffer Jiminez
Jimmy Jimmerson
Jim Jimbo
James (Jim) J. Jimson
Jim Jimseruno
Jim Jackstiener
Jericho
Jimmy Jim
Jim of the Nine Eastern Stars of Terrafourn
Jim Jaghofferson
Jimbo
Jim "James 'Jim' Jimson" Jimson
Jimmy Jimbo Jimbob
Pinecone Jimson
Jimdick Jagoffboy
James Jimson
Jim Jimpin
John Jameson
Jim McJimbiongbong
Jim Jimjimjimjimjimjimjimjim
Jiminson
Jimothy
Big Daddy Meat Jimson
Tiny Daddy Meat Jimson
Jim Jopson
Jimbo Jimmy Jam
Jimbo Jimsmith (formerly a Doctor)
Jim Jimmy the Jim Jimmerson
Jim Jimpegmyassrawohbabyohbabyohbaby
Jimmy Jim Jimmer Jimbosen Jiminez the dolphin rapper
Jim Jim Jim Jimson Son Son
Jim Jon Un
Tangy Tangerine
Animal Jim
Jimbo Jimson Chang
Jimbo Jimson the Chang
Jimbo Jimson Jang





Hey


















You wanna see my cool new banner




















Well.....























Here it is
[Image: tJUYYdT.jpg]















What... you don't like it
























Well I tried my best you fucking piece of shit you don't have to make fun of it you little bitch



































You thought something was down here huh. Well, you must be pretty dumb. Maybe you should go check-up in the text for the pins









































During all Business Enquires please refer to Mr. Jimson as "Small Daddy Meat Jimson" to assure business professionalism.












oh wait

























they got rid of the Heavymetalweight championship because appartenly they hate fun at XWF headquaters smh shaking my head rn
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[-] The following 5 users Like Jim "the Jim" Jimson's post:
(10-04-2019), Corey Smith (10-05-2019), Melanie Crayzee Childs (10-04-2019), Thunder Knuckles™ (10-04-2019), Unknown Soldier (10-04-2019)




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