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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS »   » Archives » Relentless Day 2 RP Board 2019
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Do I look like Ed Sheehan?
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BoxOffice_Brian_OHaire Offline
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XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


Post: #1
09-16-2019 06:55 AM

[The scene opens with Brian O’Haire inside a recording studio. His agent is seen outside the booth...]

Agent: Brian... one last time. We wrote this song for you. Spotify are doing a big link up with XWF for relentless and they wanted you to reprise your role from Basslines and sing a song about your XWF journey. Your life. Your mindset and errrr, the incident...

Brian : I told you.... we don’t speak about....

Agent: they’re paying $200k.

Brian: *sighs* Fine..... I’m not sure about the lyrics though.

Agent : Just go with it.

[His phone rings and he leaves the room]

Brian O’haire: lets do this then.....

[He puts some headphones on and music fades in]

(Loosely Inspired by Something Human by Muse)

My circuits have blown
I know it's self-imposed
And all I have shared, and all I have loved
Is all I'll ever own
But something has changed
I feel so alive
My life just blew up, I'd give it all up
I'll depressurize

Chorus:
Ohh,
The XWF has never seen anything like me,
Oh boy, I’m a sight to see.
I’m a fighter, with power and grit.
The other talent on this show ain’t worth shit,
I’m an enigma, an anomaly, a freak, with a diary to win.
Fighting to hide my hidden sin.
From geatness in my world I have spawned,
Top the top I will rise, from Savage and Beyond.

I’m a man so bright but so dark,
With a change in my destination true.
I’ve never been told
No you won’t achieve
In any part of my life.

My past defines my future
A time I’ll never erase.
I bury it deeper
So it can never emerge
To bring me down.

Chorus:
Ohh,
The XWF has never seen anything like me,
Oh boy, I’m a sight to see.
I’m a fighter, with power and grit.
The other talent on this show ain’t worth shit,
I’m an enigma, an anomaly, a freak, with a diary to win.
Fighting to hide my hidden sin.
From geatness in my world I have spawned,
Top the top I will rise, from Savage and Beyond.

I never knew where I’d run
When I changed my life so much
From the fake world of movies
To the grand wold of wrestling,
I was taken in.

I lost my first match,
I learned so much,
I smashed McBride
And I move on to gain my pride

when you hold on to what I have
That’s tangled inside your mind
It strangles you but drives you
To grow and destroy
To become who you need to be.

Ohh,
The XWF has never seen anything like me,
Oh boy, I’m a sight to see.
I’m a fighter, with power and grit.
The other talent on this show ain’t worth shit,
I’m an enigma, an anomaly, a freak, with a diary to win.
Fighting to hide my hidden sin.
From geatness in my world I have spawned,
Top the top I will rise, from Savage and Beyond.


——-
Recording studio guy: Riiiigght Brian, we’re done.

Brian O’Haire: Thank fuck for that.

Recording studio guy: Although, we could probably do another take. Some of your vibratos were off and there was times you sounded off key. Even auto tune would struggle

Brian O’Haire: Do I look like Ed fucking Sheehan? I’m not Ginger, I don’t look raggedy, I don’t have a guitar.... I may be filthy bloody rich but what makes me, a stunning, specimen of a man any comparison to a ginger minstrel warbler? I do one take, that’s it. I’m a movie star and a fighter. Not a singer. Hell, these lyrics.... I’m doing this as a favour to fucking Spotify. I can’t even b.....

Recording studio guy: Fine. I’ll ummmm see what I can do.

Brian O’Haire: I’ve got much much more on my plate.... what’s your name?

Recording Studio Guy: Andrew.

Brian: Well listen.... Aaaaannndrew. I’ve got my first PPV coming up against two guys that are my biggest challenge to date. I don’t need to be doing special promo songs. I need to be out there, hyping the importance of me. Hyping the fact that “Box Office” Brian O’haire is making it to PPV.

Recording Studio Andrew: I’m pleased for you but can you please let me....

[The door swings open and a man in a ridiculously sharp suit saunters in, he has the aura of a complete tool.]

Man: B dawwwwwwggggggg

[he extends his hand for a hi five, Brian declines]

Brian O’Haire: Do I know you?

Man: It’s me, your boy from MovieLines....

Brian O’Haire: come again?

[Brian looks more confused]

Man: MovieLines! The ultimate movie podcast!!!

Brian: Weren’t you the guys who didn’t follow the guidelines about the incident and constantly hated on me?

Man: nahhhhhh, that wasn’t us.... haha.... if it was, ummm we’ve changed!!! We love you B Dawwwwg and...

Brian: Please don’t call me that....

Man: B dawg... listen... we LOVE what you’re doing. Your move into the wrestling world. Can you please just give us one soundbite about how you feel about Boris and Peter Gilmour?

Brian: I’m kinda busy just now....
Recording Studio Andrew: who let this guy in?
Podcast man: no one. I snuck in.
Brian: if I say a few lines for you will you kindly foxtrot Oscar?
Podcast man: you want me to dance?

[Brian facepalms..]

Brian: ok ok ok. Fire up your little recorder.

[The podcast man smiles as he whips out a microphone. Brian snatches it]

Brian: Look. I’m going to be honest. My match at relentless is the BIGGEST battle I’ve ever been in. Peter Gilmour is a pretty big fucking deal. And Boris.... well, he’s Boris. Great name. But as big a deal as these guys are, they aren’t a big deal compared to me. Hell, I’m the man who the XWF wanted to raise their profile. I’m the guy who has been hand picked to headline a charity POV because they realise the bang I bring. I’m the man who is moving forward with his life despite the mental turmoil with in me pondering what decisions I’ve made and if they are right. I have made some mistakes since I got here; I had a shit agent. I debuted to a whimper. I underestimated people. I sucked. But conversely, against McBride, I smashed it. I aced it, and to put it in my terms, the actual opening week of Brian O’Haire was a Box Office Smash. The sequel is at relentless and I, Along with Peter Gilmour and Boris (who has the same name as a dead guinea pig... fancy that) will bloody bring it. The only thing is, that I will prevail. And the era of the Box Office smash converting to wrestling buy rates, will continue. Am I ready? Hell yeah. Is relentless going to be an accurate descriptor of what I am going to do. Hell yes. What Brian O’Haire will show? Who knows what role I’ll be playing....

[Brian winks and pushes the podcast guy out the door]

Brian O’haire: now, can we finish this shit.


[Brian walks back into the recording studio]

-fin-

[Image: xD2CdbJ.png]
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