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Vita Frickin Valenteen · **09-04-2019, 05:42 PM**

"So I totally broke it off with Corey over the weekend. I guess I could have let him down a little more gently, but he's been so needy as of late with all of the text messages and stuff. Him chasing me down at Savage was just the last straw. He had to go because he was just another distraction that's been holding me back. Before I met Lux, I was a champion, a winner, and since we became a thing, I've watched as I've lost match after match against people who honestly have no business in the same ring as me. Besides, the whole time traveling assassin thing? Who needs that ish in their life?"

"Also, as luck would have it, I met another boy over the weekend. He's cute, driven, and doesn't have a girl living in his head. Part of me wants to ask him out, but I'm worried that he would just distract me like Lux did. I guess I have some thinking to do huh?"

"You know, when I first decided to attack Sarah Lacklan the way that I did, I was worried about what people would think. I've spent the last year preaching about sportsmanship and fair play, but I came to a point where I felt that I needed to do something BIG to turn people's attention back to me, and I knew that I needed to do it to Sarah. Why? Because she's the one who capitalized while I was off dreaming about boys. She came in and stole everything that was rightfully mine! Do you think that I went to Anarchy just for the hell of it? No, I wanted to be the first Anarchy champion, but NOOOO, Sarah is the star. Sarah has the crowd in the palm of her hand and has beaten some big names around here. What have I done since winning my briefcase?"

"NOTHING!"

"I allowed myself to become a background character, and why? Because I was so wrapped up in Corey and Vinnie's shitty football team that I lost focus on my goals…"

"WOW…"

"That's a hard truth isn't it? To realize that you have all of this hate for someone, but that you should be directing that hate upon yourself, and it really just makes you hate that person even more."

"Yeah I know, everyone is asking how that makes sense? Have you ever hated yourself though? Like I mean REALLY hated yourself? You hate your clothes, your friends, your life and everything about it. You just want to find someplace dark, curl up and die. I guess for my own mental health I had to project that hate onto someone else… Or maybe I just used that as an excuse to target Sarah? I don't know… What I do know is that I had myself so worked up, especially after she only beat me because she held my tights… I knew I was attacking Sarah, I just knew it and I knew it was right and righteous, even if the way I went about it wasn't."

"What will people think?"

"A question that I quickly put to the back of my mind as I slid into the ring and smashed an impression of that bitches face into the cold hard aluminium of my briefcase."

"Want to know the weirdest part? Going into that, I was afraid. Afraid if what the fans would think of me, afraid of what my friends and coworkers would say. I mean, this was basically me abandoning my morals right? At least that's what Ned Kaye thinks, but what I came to realize in that moment is that being "bad" feels so good! When I blasted the queen bitch in the face, when I saw that fine mist of blood spray into the air as metal met flesh and heard the hollow thud of the case cracking skull, I realized that for the first time in a long time, I felt alive!"

"People used to tell me how it was admirable that I walked the straight and narrow. Afterall, in the XWF, it's always been rare to find true "good guys", but now I wonder if those same people wanted me to stay on that path because of how great I could become if I broke free from those restraints and brought the same level of violence and attitude to the ring that ninety some odd percent of the roster already does?"

"I'm not a good girl, or someone's hero. I'm a champion without a belt, and if this is who I have to be to climb back to the top, then that's perfectly fine by me."

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