Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

The Disintigrators · (08-19-2019)

Tampa, Florida.

Jimmy Cholo sits in the box office window of the Mid-Florida Credit Union Amphitheater, formerly known as the 1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheater, and wishes it would stop being ten thousand degrees even when it was raining.

And it was always raining.

He thinks about quitting, like he always does, but knows he needs the cash too much. He wished he’d stayed in school, or dealt drugs, or something. But, here he was.

In the distance, coming from somewhere past the Hard Rock Casino, he heard a pair of really loud motors. Bikes, he knew. Probably a couple of assholes from the Outlaws on their way to pledging allegiance to that gigantic confederate flag flapping over I-75 like a big red ballsack, he thought.

Then he saw them. Big, gleaming Harleys. Clouds of exhaust billowing out from behind them as they took a turn onto US 301 and headed in the direction of the Amp’s entrance. Then they turned into the parking lot and Jimmy could see them a little better. A couple of older white dudes in leather, naturally. One with a feathered blonde mullet, and his buddy with a curly black one. The duo did donuts in the parking lot, giving each other a high five as they sped past each other in opposite direction concentric circles.

Then, they headed straight for Jimmy.

Jimmy Cholo:: “What the…”

The two Harley Davidson cycles roared up to the box office, and the blonde one pointed a gloved hand right at Jimmy.

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “Hey kid! I’ll give you an autograph if you tell me where the entrance is… the TALENT entrance I mean!”

Jimmy Cholo:: “Are you guys in Florida Georgia line?”

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “”What? That’s funny, kiddo! Hilarious! We’re here for XWF Savage… we’re gonna stomp a dang mudhole in Henry Carne Asada and Steve Vicious! Ain’t that right, Johnny?”

The one with black hair pulled off his wraparound shades and balled his hands into fists before howling like a coyote.

Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “OWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YOU GOT THAT RIGHT DANGEROUS! WE’RE HERE TO ADD SOME TWISTED STEEL…”

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “And sex appeal!”

Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “... TO THE XWF TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT! WE’RE HERE TO WIN, DADDY! TELL ‘EM DAVE! HAHAHAHAHA!”

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “My partner has it all one hundred percent right! We just rode in all the way from Sturgis South Dakota, young man! Still got dust from Route 66 on our chaps!”

Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “THAT’S RIGHT DADDY! WOO!”

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “Now we’re all set to razzle ‘em and dazzle ‘em right here in the TPA! Hot dang, I can’t wait to head out to Daytona and let my hog prowl the streets of VOLUSIA COUNTY!”

Johnny and Dave give each other a high ten, then both rev their bike engines while they stare at Jimmy impatiently.

Jimmy Cholo:: “Oh! You’re here for XWF? Oh man, this is terrible… that show was last week, guys!”

Dave Mustang leans forward on is bike, tilting his own shades down on the bridge of his nose.

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “Say what?”

Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “YEAH SAY WHAT BIG DADDY!? WOO!”

Jimmy shuffles back and forth on his New Balance sneakers. He didn’t get paid enough for this kind of thing.

Jimmy Cholo:: “Sorry guys… it was August 10th… you missed it. BUT! One of the roadies told me they were headed to Dallas next? Maybe you can get a do-over?”

Jimmy smiled his best customer service smile… he had been practicing ever since his write up in April when his ASSHOLE supervisor Brett told him that customers ‘knew he didn’t really mean it’ when he told them to have a good day… jerk…

Dave Mustang looked at his partner Johnny Steele and shrugged.

Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “DID WE WIN DADDY-O???”
‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “We did not. But this young man says we are GUARANTEED rematch if we make it to Texas in time!”

Jimmy Cholo:: “Whoa, wait…”

Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT! LET’S HIT THE ROAD, DANGEROUS!”

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “Right behind you, ‘Balls Of!’ Listen kid, thanks for all your help… I’ll be sure to send you a poster! You ready to get back on the highway, Twisted?”

Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “WOO!”

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “WOO!”

Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “WOO!”

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “WOO!”

Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “WOO!”

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “WOO!”

The two haggard looking men both stare directly and Jimmy then, wiggling their fingers as they woo again in unison, this one a little quieter for effect.

‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang & Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Then, Dave kicks his kickstand back up on his bike and cranks the gas. His bike belches out a loud fart of exhaust and he hits a big turn, heading back for the entrance. Behind him, Johnny Steele nods his head at Jimmy and follows suit.

Jimmy Cholo:: “God I hate this job…”

END!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode RIGHT ON TIME, DADDY!
Author	Message