What do you mean he went home?”


The scene opens as the voice of THE Tristan Slater is heard before we fade in post Anarchy where THE TRISTAN SLATER is shown in the back of a limo with CHRIS PAGE. Both men are dressed fairly casual as we hear TRISTAN continue.


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “We are involved in a Tag Tournament and he went home?”


There’s some hostility in the voice of THE TRISTAN SLATER as CHRIS holds up his left hand in an attempt to calm the situation as he states.


CHRIS PAGE- “Well, the truth is he just couldn’t get past issues from his past when it comes to the XWF.”


… that and apparently threats of violence is frowned upon.


CHRIS PAGE- “But before you go and lose your shit I already have the situation under control and already have another partner ready to step in and take his place.”


THE TRISTAN SLATER is shown rubbing his hands across his face before dropping them down to his lap as he lets out a sigh before stating.


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “And who might that be?”


CHRIS PAGE- “I’ve spoken to FAMINE and he’s more than prepared to step in and handle business.”


Before we get to FAMINE of the VILE let me address the sudden departure of JOHN “THE BEAST” CABLE. Without breaking down that fourth wall completely I’ll just say that it’s easy for people to comment on issues they weren’t present for. I commend JOHN for at least coming by and giving it a shot, and while you’re no longer here you’ll always still be one of my brothers.


CHRIS PAGE- “FAMINE has been firing on all cylinders and I have no doubts that the two of you collectively will be the force needed to rewrite the injustice that took place at Leap of Faith.”


I don’t think FAMINE and I have ever really seen eye to eye, and I won’t deny that since coming back into the fold he’s been more than impressive even though he could literally kick the bucket any day. I kid, I kid…. No, but seriously the guy is like sixty.


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “It’s been a long time since FAMINE and I have really spoken, and even since he’s come back to help us take down the XWF we haven’t shared a lot of pleasantries.”


There was a point in time in this business where FAMINE and I were bitter enemies as we squared off one of the grandest stages of them all; you remember, right? It was your baby, it was the Devil’s Playground and it was a night that you officially became introduced to sheer awesomeness that is THE TRISTAN SLATER!


I got to know if you’re capable of putting the past behind you and if you’re going to be able to share the ring apron with me; because much like CABLE, our history is storied and chronicled with bitter tastes left if your mouth. I’m more than capable of handling business from bell to bell because I don’t have to like you to work with you, ask JOHN.


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “There’s a lot in the past between the two of us…. I just hope he’s able to work through it without have some sort of meltdown.”


CHRIS PAGE- “FAMINE is all business and if he says he’s going to conduct himself accordingly I’m inclined to believe him or why else would he agree to do as opposed the other alternative and telling me to fuck off? All the both of you have to do is gel from bell to bell and you’ll do just fine.”


I think that’s a fairly safe statement when you look at the pair that we’re going to be stepping into the ring with. I mean it isn’t going to take a lot of intelligence or skill to decimate that dynamic duo and Gomer Pyle if he decides to move from that corner.


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “If either of us can’t beat that motley crew we don’t deserve to be in the business, if we can’t beat those two jizz stains with one arm tied behind our backs or blindfolded we should walk away now and hang up the boots for good. I’m not saying they’re terrible, but they’re terrible.”


Yes I’m talking directly to you; Salt and Pepper.


CHRIS PAGE- “HEY! Don’t under estimate them, I mean they are a decorated tag team… so I hear.”


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “Oh really? What have they done in the XWF?”


One thing that has always pissed me off is when you have talents on a roster that LOVE to list Championships won in other federations as if they’re badges of honor or some grand selling point yet within the company they’re competing in they’re done about as much to garner any kind of attention as paint does when it’s drying. It literally makes no sense especially when your only victories are over nobodies that half ass it every day of their meaningless existence.


CHRIS PAGE- “Nothing.”


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “Exactly.”


Salt and Pepper aren’t anything more than glorified curtain jerkers who simply don’t deserve to be inside the same ring as someone with the XWF credentials I have.


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “While I on the other hand have been a three time XWF World Heavyweight Champion, I’ve been a XWF United States Champion, I’ve been the XWF Xtreme Champion…”


Those are called legitimate credentials within the federation I am involved with and those are credentials worth bragging about because when you take a good long look at THE TRISTAN SLATER you’re taking a good long look a the FIRST man to win the XWF World Title under Shane ’s rule, you’re looking at the man that hoisted this company up on his back and started taking it back to some semblance of notoriety before unzipped his fly and took a piss all over what the XWF once stood for.


I bounced on as the inmates started to run the asylum vowing to never come back…


Until this opportunity to destroy the Xtreme Wrestling Federation fell into my lap.


is gone, good riddance; and while the REAL Universal Champion is “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE the next set of titles we need to pry away from this company are their tag titles; those very tag titles we’ve already won legitimately, and you two buffoons seriously think you’re going to stop this train from rolling? Get the fuck outta here.


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “… and soon to be XWF Tag Team Champions is going to be added to that list; and if it isn’t it’s not going to be because I didn’t give it everything I have. I know how crucial it is that we start taking all the gold so we can really dictate the pace of this war.”


CHRIS PAGE- “It’s a sprint, not a marathon.”


There are those on this roster that have already looked past us and have already deemed us as failures; it’s quite funny when you sit back and think about it because those are the same people who sat around with their thumb up their asses being okay with the status quo; it’s suddenly when a group of outsiders start to show up and do something with your television to make it actually interesting that talents like your apparent former Television Champion decide they want to step up and assume a role that’s already passed her by, it’s when a group of outsiders show up and start delivering fresh promo’s, they start pounding away at everyone on the roster that some of you decided to remember that you even had a pair of balls, or ovaries .


Where was all of this prior to us showing up and wrecking this place?


I’ll tell you, it was as nonexistent as Salt and Pepper is .


CHRIS PAGE- “Contrary to popular belief we’re right where we need to be because they’re all counting us out and they’re all assuming that we’re blowing hot air. I’m going to handle DICK and I’m going to claim his one tenth claim to the title come Relentless.”


THE TRISTAN SLATER- “While FAMINE and I stake our claims to the XWF World Tag Team Championship.”


End scene.








Is this the part where I actually have to sit back and try to pretend that dealing with Salt and Pepper is going to be some sort of challenge that’s going to cause me to break a sweat, because they’re not. I don’t even know how to try to take them seriously when there biggest claim to fame in the XWF is making it the second round of a Tag Tournament. Don’t get me wrong, I know you’re both probably happier than a pig in shit over it but allow me to break the bad news, it’s not that huge of an accomplishment, especially when you take into consideration your opponents didn’t even bother to do any work and allowed you to walk all over them.


We aren’t them.


For now you’re going to step into the ring with two men that have more than had their way with this organization and have stood on top of it at one time or another while the both of you have apparently dominated other federations like that means shit here and now, and while you didn’t have to earn a fucking thing a few weeks ago you’re going to have to EARN everything you get the mere moment that opening bell tolls because we aren’t coming to play fucking games. We’re coming to hurt you, we’re coming to beat you within an inch of your lives and we’re coming to kill what little hype you’ve managed to attain for yourselves.


Lazy isn’t going to cut it boys.


Complacent isn’t going to cut it either.


Those two words sum up my exact feelings on having to waste my time even discussing this upcoming contest. Those two words define both of you, and if they didn’t you would have put up more effort into trying to convince the world that you actually WANT to be involved in the tag title conversation as opposed to doing the bare minimum.


How the fuck do I go from wrestling two legends on one show to wrestling two nobodies on another?


I’m all for an easy day at the office but stripping Salt and Pepper down to nothing is hardly what I call a challenge in any sense of the word. As a matter of fact, I’m done with those hoes now because I’m not going to waste my time; instead I’m going to keep my eye on what unfolds in the Main Event because whoever walks out with those titles are on a crash course with THE TRISTAN SLATER and FAMINE of the VILE where unlike Leap of Faith the owners won’t be able to make their own rules as they go and save the titles for APEX-PROPHECY or that stupid little cunt and father time.


This is all one big formality.


Sorry if I spoiled it.