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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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FLAGS OF MY FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author Message
Mini Morbid Offline

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Post: #1
07-10-2019 01:45 PM

On the rocky shores of Mini Morbidonia’s FAMOUS EVER BOILING LAKE (It is named Lake Puff Puff because of the adorable natural steam clouds that a young Emperor Mini enjoyed watching as a tot) the MINI GOD-KING is lying on the world’s most MASCULINE beach towel. It is covered with pictures of EXPLOSIONS and TITTIES.

Mini sits on his ADRENALINE FUELED MACHISMO BLANKET and slowly anoints himself with several handfuls of baby oil on his bare, muscled, SEXY chest. His circular motions across his spectacularly pectoraled torso forcibly impregnates a mermaid from the bubbling lake, and also turns her black. MANY WHITES ARE UPSET ABOUT THIS, BUT THEY TOO ARE CALMED BY THE OILING OF MINI MORBID’S CHEST.

Mini stands and throws a grenade into the lake, then collects the massive dead fish that float to the surface. FOOD FOR THE VILLAGE! But nay, the plunder is all for Mini. The serfs will stay hungry, but still adore their king!

“Oh, hello all of you homosexual viewers of the XWF programming. It is I, the MINI MORBID, ruler of the PLANE OF WAR. You may know me from seeing me riding a FLAMING UNICORN INTO BATTLE or perhaps when I wrestled an archangel and BROUGHT HIM TO HIS KNEES. If not, then you will be pleased to know I am set to CONQUER THE FIEFDOM OF LACKLANLAND. The great flag of Mini Morbidonia WHICH IS SPANGLED WITH GOLDEN DRAGONS AS THEY CROSS A SEA OF BLOOD AND FIRE and which is also DEFINITELY twice the size of puny Maine Baby Sarah Lacklan’s pathetic banner. IT IS BARELY EVEN A FLAG. Look at it! Where are the tassles? Where is the craftsmanship? The finely woven tapestry from the most endangered of animals? IT IS LACKING, THAT IS WHERE. Grown men WEEP when they see the sigil of Mini Morbidonia, for they know their hamlets will soon be torn ASUNDER. NOBODY FEARS THE PURPLE DILDO FIST OF THE LACKLANS! Pardon me, I must address my valkyrie.”

A valkyrie lands next to Mini.

“Valkyrie. Fly to Lacklanland. Find its tallest edifice, which will be puny compared to the GREAT SPIRE OF MINI MORBIDONIA. Fly high atop its diminutive precipice and RAIN YOUR FECES OF VENGEANCE UPON IT. Hurry home, Valkyrie, for we shall dine on the flesh of Lacklanlanders soon enough. Their tender flesh is SUPPLE and BEGS to be lain on the CEREMONIAL HIBACHIS OF MINI MORBIDONIA. The hair of their daughters will string the instruments with which we shall sing the songs of their conquest! FLY, VALKYRIE. FLY!!!”

The valkyrie nods and flies off, heading East across the mountains toward the great arctic sea.

“I apologize. Sometimes we MINI DESPOTS have matters of state to deal with. The valkyrie will be drawn and quartered for interrupting our promotional upload, BUT WILL BE HALLOWED IN MINI MORBIDONIA LEGEND FOR ITS DEEDS NORTH OF BANGOR! ANGELS will carry its spirit ALOFT and it will enjoy an afterlife filled with PLEASURES OF THE FLESH. Where was I? YES, the flag! The golden dragons of my great land encircle the thousand headed lion which is the family crest of the MINI MORBIDS. My dynastic reign, stretching back 100 generations to the time of Mini Morbid I, he who strode on mountain peaks, all the way to myself, the immortal MINI GOD KING Mini Morbid CMXCIX. The albino puppy will be defeated and added to my harem of fertile UTERI. Her inferior genealogy will be repaired over decades of proper breeding and there shall eventually be no signs of her sickly pink irises or jaundiced yellow skin. The offensive flaxen hair WILL DARKEN WITH TIME UNTIL IT IS THE RAVEN BLACK OF THE MINI MORBIDS! Our descendants will then be shorn in the traditional RITE OF PASSAGE for all Mini Morbid men - AND WE ARE BORN AS MEN UNLIKE TRADITIONAL INFERIOR HUMANS WHO SPEND YEARS WALLOWING IN SPERMLESS BOYHOOD! The glorious, gleaming bald pate of our great grandchildren WILL PLOW THE FIELDS OF MY LEGITIMATE OFFSPRING! THE LACKLAN LINEAGE WILL BE NAUGHT BUT A SHUNNED BASTARD LINE! And it all begins with the CONQUEST of the LACKLAN FLAG at XWF Anarchy! WELCOME TO WAR!!!!”

Mini Morbid turns to leave, carrying his many dead fish with EASE. The extra weight on his frame merely reveals his EXCELLENTLY TONED CALVES as he walks away toward his two story rickshaw, piloted by the strongest of cyclopes.

[Image: 5z3j5uE.jpg]
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