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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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A tale of a cautionary kind
Author Message
Ruby Offline
Generic Girl

XWF FanBase:

(boring as fuck; promos act as sleeping medicine; never recognized in public)

Post: #1
07-10-2019 10:27 AM

Even heroes needed rest days…

Ruby, in civilian clothing for once, was perusing the wares of a tiny little market for some groceries. Loading up all of the healthiest stuff she could find, including a box of original Ruby-Oh’s of course, she found herself come to rest. Her life was a demanding one; between wrestling, vigilantism and tutoring there was little time to feel… normal. Shopping for groceries made her feel like she was just a normal human being, living a simple decent life. It was a nice reminder of how things used to be before the mask.

As she loaded a few stalks of broccolini in her environment-friendly and reusable grocery bag, she spotted someone a couple yards away, holding an Oaty Oat bar, an officially licensed Sarah Lacklan product. Ruby sighed. She didn’t want to get involved and intrude on someone’s privacy, but she couldn’t resist and spoke up.

Ruby: “I’d steer clear of those, my guy. They’re about to put those on the Toxic Foods Watchlist. One bar might literally cause a colon infection.

The man pulled a face as if a cat had just yawned in it and put the Oaty Oat back on the rack. Ruby grinned and started moving towards the cashier. She was about to exit the aisle when she heard a slightly panicky, insecure voice do its best to sound confident and threatening. She knew that tone from anywhere, as it sounded like three quarters of the Anarchy roster cutting a promo.

?: “G-g-gimme all the money in the r-r-register!”

Ruby peeked around the corner and facepalmed. A guy with a pair of panties pulled over his face was holding the cashier at gunpoint.

Ruby: “Just my flippin’ luck! On my day off, too!”

She sighed and put the grocery bag down. There weren’t many other people in the store, but still… She couldn’t stand by and do nothing.

She felt the call of the mask in her backpack. ”Put me on!” it screamed at her. ”You know you want to!”

She had always been bad at resisting its call… She reached into her backpack, her fingers wrapping themselves around the green mask. The slap of the elastic band against the back of her head was all she needed to feel… whole again. She jumped around the corner of the aisle, pointing at the criminal.

Ruby: ”Hold it right there!”

Panicked, the criminal turned around with his arm remaining outstretched, now pointing the gun at Ruby. Good. A much better alternative than the cashier. She held up a hand, her palm facing towards the hooded robber. His arm was trembling. He seemed desperate, like he didn’t really want to be doing what he was doing.

Ruby: ”Listen up, my guy. There are other ways to make money. Honest ways. Wholesome ways. Like having your face on the greatest cereal brand in the world!”

That last sentence did the trick of confusing him. He cocked his head slightly and Ruby took advantage, darting forward and closing the distance between them in a split second. Her hand found his wrist, moving it upward so he was no longer pointing the gun at anyone. She squeezed with all her might, breaking his wrist and letting the gun fall out. She leapt, her knee aiming for his forehead and…

[Image: Kapow+Logo.png]

… with one massive blow he fell unconscious, crumpling to the floor.

Ruby: ”Take that, you knickerflippin’ so and so! Nobody robs when Ruby’s around!”

The cashier started clapping in awe, and Ruby smiled but held up her hand.

Ruby: ”Please, good man. I just did my heroic duty.”

She crouched and picked the man up, throwing him over her shoulder with ease, despite the fact she was much shorter and lighter.

Ruby: ”I shall now turn this villain over to the proper authorities. Stay safe!”

Ruby darted out the store. Then quickly came back, picked up her grocery bag, paid for her wares and left again.

[Image: giphy.gif]

Later. From Ruby’s Go-Pro…..

Ruby pointed her Go-Pro at the pair of them. The criminal she’d just neutralized was put up against the wall in the dank back alley they found themselves in, still unconscious. Ruby winked at the cam.

Ruby: ”Hulllooooooo tharr, my flippies! It’s ya mainest girl Ruby here, with a tale of a cautionary kind!”

She pointed the Go-Pro at her ‘companion’.

Ruby: ”See, Robbie McRobrob here thought the best way to money and success was by taking advantage of other people’s hard work! He thought that through dishonesty, he could carve a path towards happiness. But take it from me, my lovelies, that’s just a lie we tell ourselves to make us feel better. Like how Noah Jackson claims he’s the hardest worker in the XWF! Or how he claims he is fit to be a champion of Anarchy. Of course, the potty-mouthed boy is just as delusional as this here bucko. Noah Jackson is like the XWF version of a scat joke: funny if you’re immature, but severely lacking in creativity and… consistency. A disgusting analogy, but therefore all the more accurate.
See, he and I butted heads once, with me emerging victorious. On Anarchy’s debut, in fact. While his generic claims of being cheated out of victory were as amusing as they were preposterous, it’s now time to make clear that his time is up. Thanos is waiting, Noah Jackson. You’re nothing but a precursor villain. A Thor 2 at best, while the Endgame is near. You won’t stop me from beating Lacklan for that title, buddy boy. You can curse and throw foul-mouthed temper tantrums if you wish. But in the end, you’ll be exposed for what you are: a pretty good warm-up. Like the steps in Rocky. So remember, kids. Don’t take the easy way. Don’t be like this guy. Don’t be like Noah. See you soon!”

Ruby winked one last time at the camera, before it cut to static.

[Image: tumblr_mrokhgllct1sqhiuzo2_500.gif]
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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (07-10-2019), James Raven (07-10-2019)
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