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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Savage Boards » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
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Soft Deadline No Joke
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BigD Offline
Champions get their name in red!
TITLE - The TV Champion

XWF FanBase:

(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)

Post: #1
07-05-2019 07:23 PM

Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"What's the difference between a piano and a fish?"

"Knock, knock. Who's there?"

These are classic examples of jokes most people have either heard or told at some point in time. I've always loved a good joke, but I never could've imagined that I would ever BE the joke. That's exactly how people have viewed me since my debut, just a dumb blonde afraid of their own shadow or a moron who can't screw in a lightbulb. Though this may have been the way majority of the XWF felt upon my arrival(recently even finding out a few people thought of me as some jobber who wouldn't last), the general consensus after my showing against Robert Main has been that Big D IS for real. It took alot of time and hard work to make it to this point, but it's exactly what I knew I always had in me.

Before now, I thought I'd proven myself when management selected me to be a War Games Captain. It might not have been a Title shot, but the opportunity for one was at stake. When I selected my teammates, I got alot of ridicule. The talk may have been justified, I wasn't even necessarily sure in my picks. I hadn't been here for very long and was in a rough situation of choosing my allies practically blind. While confident in myself, Lacklan, and Gilmour, I really didn't have much to go off of Bearded War Pig. As for Rain, he may have been an annoying sister fucker, but at least I knew he'd show up, something I wasn't sure of when it came to the other option of Scully. Knowing now that Scully was a former Champion, I can honestly understand the criticism in that selection. While I brushed off my critics pretty easily, there was one whose words got stuck on repeat in my head: Centurion.

"For the first time in my life, I actually feel sorry for Sarah Lacklan. The rest of that team....yikes."

Why did I let his statement affect me more than everyone else's? I didn't care about the people on my team, it was only a one off alliance in place solely for my benefit. Everyone knew Rain was garbage and BWP was iffy at best. Lacklan was undoubtedly the best member(myself aside, of course) and Gilly is a former Universal Champion, which shows he CAN get it done when he puts his mind to it.

But why was I hearing those words when I went to sleep at night? While I worked out? Every morning I would wake up, Centurion's voice echoed in my brain like a shitty song stuck on repeat. Whether I was in the ring, backstage, or even making my entrance with Trust Company blaring over the PA system; nothing would drown out this one man's comment and I never figured it out until now................. because he was putting ME down.....

It wasn't like he was saying 'Big D is bad at drafting', a fact my Fantasy Football history would surely confirm. No, it was the fact he thought Sarah Lacklan was the ONLY person worth a damn on Team Big D, INCLUDING myself. Centurion looked at me and saw an unproven rookie who was no better than the other weak links on my team. It didn't matter that I was a former World Champion who didn't need to start from the bottom once again, to this XWF Legend I was just someone who'd show up for a couple months and then fade into obscurity like so many others before me. Well, unfortunately for him, I'm still here and ready to make him pay for his ignorance.....


Most people preferred to be woken up by the alarm they intentionally set, not some asshole calling you hours beforehand. As my phone kept ringing, I opened my crusty eyelids and fixated my sight on the Los Angeles Rams clock on my bedroom wall.


Yep, a little under two hours before my alarm. Greeeeeeat. I grabbed my phone and was irritated to see the caller was a number unfamiliar to me. It's one thing if your buddy's call you up to smoke you up or treat you to an early lunch, but it's a whole different story when a telemarketer disturbs your slumber.

"Hello?!" I answered in an annoyed tone, following it up with a dramatic sigh.

"Hi, is this Big D?" the scratchy male voice on the other end asked.

"Who wants to know?"

"They call me Mr. Jablomie, D, I'm a director," the man responded with a chuckle. "I was calling about a potential acting opportunity."

My eyes instantly shot open and I was 100% awake. I knew my recent showing in the ring had garnered me more fame and recognition, I just didn't realize that went for OUTSIDE the business, too.

"An acting opportunity?" I exclaimed with delight. "Did they decide Robert Pattinson was a terrible idea for Batman and you want me?"

"Unfortunately not," he responded with just a hint of sympathy in his words. I was quite disappointed this wasn't my chance to become immortalized as a superhero, but I figured I'd hear him out.

"Well, what did you have in mind?" I asked, hoping it'd be something Star Trek related, or maybe even a sports movie about an underdog overcoming the odds.

"How 'bout me meet and we can discuss it?" Mr. Jablomie suggested.

I was a bit hesitant to go, seeing as how I'd never heard of the guy, but I figured there was no harm in a short meeting. Though I had a very important match with Centurion coming up, I had worked out all week in preparation, and would have another one before our encounter. An hour or two wouldn't make much of a difference, so I agreed to meet him at his studio.

When I arrived, I was met with a shocking sight. The place Mr. Jablomie referred to as a 'studio' was literally a trailer in the middle of nowhere. I felt very off meeting here by myself, it was almost like the beginning of a bad horror movie. Knowing I was strong enough to fight off a challenge, I made my way to the door and knocked on it. As I stood there, I scanned the surroundings for any sign of help if this guy tried to rape me.

"Big freaking D!" a man said as he swung the trailer door open. He was really short, maybe just an inch or 2 taller than Danny DeVito and wore a suit you could tell hadn't been washed between this and his previous hundred other meetings. There was something off about him, but at least I knew he couldn't overpower me. That was a plus, I suppose.

"Mr. Jablomie, I take it?" I questioned, still skeptical of the entire situation.

"Please, call me Haywood," he responded with a hand out. I met it with my own and thought about his name for a moment. Haywood. Jablomie. My gut feeling was directing my mind to an uneasy feeling, realizing what kind of profession someone with a name like that would be in.

"Wait........" I said, pulling my hand away from his. "Are you...... a PORN director?" The smile on his face slowly disappeared, all but confirming what I feared.

"Is it that obvious?" he chuckled with his hands on his belly.

"Welp, thanks but no thanks," I cracked before turning away and heading back for my car. The near midget shuffled behind me and grabbed my arm, which I yanked from his grasp. "Look, Haywood, Little D is strictly between me and future Mrs. Big D....."

"And that is perfectly understandable," he replied with his hands in the air innocently. "You're a professional wrestler, not porn star, that's not what I'd expect of you....."

Though the situation was completely messed up, I figured I could at least let him explain himself. Worst case scenario, my car is ten steps away and I can leave at any given moment.

"Well, what DID you have in mind?" I asked, folding my arms against my chest. "I really don't appreciate being tricked into this meeting without being earned of your profession."

"To be fair, you could've asked more questions," Haywood slyly hissed, a fact that was hard to argue with. "But that is neither here nor there. Big D, I want you to star in a commercial for me, one that I think your name would be all too perfect for."

"My name?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Penis pumps, D," Mr. Jablomie said with a dirty grin. "In addition to directing sex movies, I'm also an entrepreneur who invents toys and other items for my line of work! And with your recent spike in popularity, you're the perfect candidate to be the face of my brand new line of pumps! Your name just fits the product too well, I even thought of the slogan: from little wee, to BIG D!!!!"

As he said my name, he outstretched his arms as wide as he could and started to laugh. I was nowhere near as amused as he was. After everything I'd done, despite proving myself as one of the top competitors in XWF, I was STILL being treated like some kind of nobody. Without a word, I shook my head and turned away from the director, heading for my car once again.

"Big D, please!" he begged as I kept walking. "You're perfect for this role! There ain't a grappler on the planet who could do the job as well as you could!"

"Gee, thanks," I blurted out as I stopped in my tracks. My anger beginning to build up, I turned around and walked for Mr. Jablomie in a threatening manner. "I'm so glad you think I'm the perfect person to have their face and name plastered all over a dick pump! That certainly says alot about what you think of me...." I stopped. "Centurion put you up to this, didn't he?!"

"W-what???" Haywood blabbed as he backed away from me. "No, this was all MY idea. I figured it'd get you exposure, in addition to XWF! Think about it, the ad would be on ALL the porn sites that have X in the title, it'd be good for you AND the Fed!"

I shook my head and puts my hands on my hips. As always, I just about let my anger get the better of me. This guy wasn't TRYING to insult me, he was just doing the right thing for himself and his business. I couldn't blame him for reaching out, even IF I felt disrespected by it.

"The answer is still no," I told him, turning away and going for my car. I opened the door and climbed in, watching Haywood in my rearview mirror. He flung his hands in my direction in a 'who needs you?' motion before waddling back into his piece of shit trailer. It was obvious he was mad, but the truth was he DID need me otherwise he wouldn't have made the initial call to begin with.

I sat there in my car for quite a while, despite the risk of an angry Haywood Jablomie blowing my brains out for rejecting his idea. Honestly, that was the least of my worries. The man may have had good intentions, but being asked to do a penis pump commercial was degrading for someone of my reputation. I just imagined all the dudes jacking it at my face popped up before their next video and how that would forever be apart of my legacy. I wasn't gonna have no part in making myself out to be more of a joke than people already thought of me. At that rate, the dick jokes would only get worse.

Though I may have calmed down a bit, my mind was racing and I needed to get some things off my chest. I reached into my pocket and pulled my cell phone out before getting to the video app and recording myself.

"Centurion, our paths haven't crossed much in the few months I've been in XWF," I began with a light tone. "But I've watched you from afar and understand how important you are to this company. You're the all-time Wins Record Holder and a 3x World Champion, among the countless other championships you've held. #30 on the XWF top 50 and a true Legend of the sport....."

"Which is exactly why your words about me and my War Games team affected me so much," I continued, getting a bit more riled up at the lack of respect someone so accomplished had for me. "You're the personification of what I want to be. A true Champion who people can hate, but never deny what you've done. I respect you, Cent', even if you don't feel the same way about me. Everyone knows respect is earned and different people need to see different things to impress 'em. Some people were convinced when I went toe to toe with Robert Main without an ounce of fear, others would have preferred I BEAT him."

"Centurion, I can't change the past. War Games is long gone, my Hell in a Cell match is done and over with. All I can do is move forward and that's exactly what I intend to do. You may not respect me yet, but you will. I'm sure you're already planning to add another tally to your win column, but if I were you, I wouldn't count my chickens before they hatch. Nobody expected me to lead my 'shitty War Games team' to victory, just like they didn't think I'd walk out of Hell in a Cell intact. But I did and I'm gonna show those that believe in me that their faith is well placed. You may be a Legend, but there's always someone working their way up to take your place....."

I slapped my hand on the steering wheel and held it in front of my phone.

"Nice to meet ya, Cent', I'm here to let ya know that I AM that guy! You don't have to believe it, because when Savage is done, you will SEE it when you're looking up at me after getting pinned 1, 2, 3! Centurion, nothing I do to you is gonna be personal, it's all about making a name for myself. You're not gonna be the first Legend to fall at the hands of Big D, and you certainly aren't going to be the last. The two things that help me thrive are confidence and when others doubt me, put both of them together and you might as well not even show up! By the time I'm through with you, they're gonna be calling me Lee Adama for how well I handled my Centurion problem! And that ain't no story, it's the Cold, Big D Truth!!!"

I grabbed my phone and stopped the recording. With a deep breath, I uploaded it to XWF's website for all the world to see. Centurion was a good competitor and I held him in high regard, but this was my chance to shine. I specifically requested this match because I knew a win against a Legend of Centurion's status would be the next best thing to beating Robert Main.

My Legacy wasn't gonna be a joke, and neither was my life. Whether it's Centurion's disrespect or Mr. Porn Director and his insulting proposal, people weren't gonna be taking me light much longer. I may not be a fish or piano, but I was gonna tune up my skills in the coming week. The knocking on the door is my legacy coming for Centurion, the chicken crossing the road to get his ass kicked. The only joke is the amount of time it took for me to get noticed and given ACTUAL competition. Whether it's Centurion, Robbie Bourbon, or even Robert Main himself, I'm not gonna lose high profile matches with the spotlight all on me. And that ain't no joke, it's the Cold Big D Truth.

[Image: 9kFRm9E.png]
June 2019 XWF Superstar of the Month
2019 Relentless Fishing Contest Winner
1x NWF World Heavyweight Champion
1x XWF Xtreme Champion
1x XWF TV Champion(current)
1x NWF Tag Team Champion(w/Slim)
3x WWF X-Division Champion
1x WWF Dark Champion
1x WWF TV Champion
1x WWF World Tag Team Champion(w/Seth Flash)
2x XWF Federweight Champion
4x XWF Heavymetalweight Champion

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