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ANARCHY - 6/13/19
Author Message
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Offline
The Guy
*********
Administrators



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


Post: #1
06-13-2019 09:58 PM







LIVE!!!




FROM THE MCKALE CENTER IN TUCSON, ARIZONA!




John Black
- vs -
Hootie the God Damn Owl
Strap Match!
We'll figure it out!








"The Amazing" Ashley Ackles
- vs -
Maxine
Internet Division Match!







The Boston Bruiser
- vs -
Kuda







ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT ROUND ONE

Noah Jackson
- vs -
Vita Valenteen







Ruby
- vs -
"Big Beautiful" Bobbi London
Internet Division Match!
Non-Title








ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT ROUND ONE

"Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
Raphael Blackwater







Mastermind
- vs -
Serra Lockland
Kumite Bloodsport Match!
Each participant will have their hands wrapped in gauze, then dipped in glue before rolled through broken glass. MAKE HIM SAY MATTE!



The show hits a cold open backstage of the McKale Center...

Ashley Ackles adjusted her tight-fitting black top, which clung to her ample, overweight frame, she was still drop-dead gorgeous despite how much weight the young woman slapped on, but she was feeling like she was on top of the world with her new size.

The black haired Brit from North Yorkshire was just looking for an excuse to beat somebody up, and she found the perfect opportunity when she walked down a hallway and bumped into her rival and fellow behemoth beauty, Bobbi London.

"Well, hey, Bobbi, guess you're not the only big built bitch here." The 250lbs 23-year-old smirked cockily as she looked the Aussie up and down. "Honestly, I suit the weight better than you do, then again, just like Australia, you try and be like England and you fail horribly."

Ashley taunted, wanting a fight with Bobbi, but Bobbi wouldn't be bullied by some overweight girl on a power-trip. Bobbi had only been with the company a brief while, but her time had been well spent, having captured her very first championship, the XWF Internet Title a scant few weeks prior. Bobbi planted her hands in the side plates of her belt and gave Ashley a once over. The two had clashed in an extraordinary battle leading up to Bobbi winning the title, where Ashley had actually broken Bobbi’s nose. Seeing the woman again raised her hackles at first, but that melted away as she saw all the weight the girl had packed on.

“Bloody fuckin’ ‘ell! Mate...yous grown since the last time we met! What ‘append Luv?”

Bobbi couldn’t help but to grin as she leaned in close and elbowed her in her pudgy side.

“Tryin’ to be like the old Bobster, Eh?!”

Ashley just chuckled confidently as she patted her ample, almost bulbous stomach a bit with a sense of cockiness. "Nah, I just overdid it on the cheat days, the portion sizes really hit the spot. Also, bigger is better, I'm bigger than you and, even before I bulked up, I was always better than you, oh, how's your nose, Dingo?" Ashley put on a fake Australian accent to mock Bobbi.

"Also" Ashley pushed Bobbi's elbow away from her with more aggression. "Don't you touch me, understand?" Ashley got right in Bobbi's face and had the smuggest smirk adorning her face. She might've piled on the pounds, but she was still a beauty, and she knew it.

"Or I'll break much more than your nose."

Bobbi kept her cool, though Ashley was certainly starting to annoy her with her talk of being bigger than she was...she clearly wasn’t.

“Look mate, I get it, yous a bit raw over th’ fact that yous got yer ass kicked and I’m th’ new Internet Champion, but don’t think that I won’t pop yous a good one for cracking me snozz!”

Bobbi poked Ashley hard in the chest.

“I’s wheeze like a fuckin’ tugboat when I’s nappin’ you fuckin’ douche pouch!”

Ashley responded to getting prodded in the chest by grabbing Bobbi by the throat and slamming her against the wall as her belly heaved with every breath Ashley took.

"Well, when I do win that Internet Championship from you, I'm gonna eat so much damn food that I'll be 300lbs!" Ashley grunted with anger, showing her insecurities as she tried to rough the Aussie up with her new bulk.

Bobbi was momentarily surprised by the woman’s aggression, but she smiled as she returned the favor, grabbing Ashley and driving her back into the wall at the opposite side of the hallway.

“WATCH YERSELF YOU’S BLEEDIN’ PISSANT!”

The two began shoving and pushing one another into the walls, looking for all the world like a modern-day Dinosaur battle. Eventually the two continued shoving one another until they crashed through a door and spilled out over the floor. They both looked up as the heard a toilet flush and saw Vinnie Lane zipping up his pants with a confused look on his face.

“Dudes...the chick’s bathroom is down the hall.”

The two women frowned as they scrambled to get to their feet, both breathing heavily, glaring at Vinnie. Bobbi brushed back her tangled blonde hair, then straightened up her title belt. She narrowed her eyes at Vinnie, then turned and pointed at her back, showing that the strap didn’t even reach completely around her and was connected duct tape.

“Vinnie! Get someone to fix me bloody title! I’m not a bleedin’ waif like Skinny Mini over ‘ere!”

Bobbi turned around, rolling her eyes as they fell on Ashley.

“I’s have a match to win, so we can settle up later…yah cunt!”

Bobbi turned to walk out as Ashley seemed incensed, looking at Vinnie.

“SKINNY MINI?! WHO IS SHE CALLING SKINNY?!”

Vinnie started to answer.

“But…dude, never mind.”

Vinnie wisely decided to just wash his hands...of everything he’d just witnessed. Maybe later he’d even wash his eyeballs.
The pyro then goes off as the music winds down and the crowd goes nuts as “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane makes his way to his announce position at ringside, having just left the two plus-sized powerhouses to their own devices. With a big smile he waves to the crowd and takes a seat and puts on his headset.


Vinnie Lane: “Welcome once again to ANARCHY! We are LIVE in the HOT HOT HOT town of Tucson Arizona and we have a GREAT show tonight! That starts AFTER this next match which is RETARDED. Can we just get it over with???”



John Black
- vs -
Hootie the God Damn Owl
Strap Match!
We'll figure it out!




The camera finds the ring for the first time, and Hootie the owl is already in his corner, being tended to by his handlers. They feed him a mouse or some shit. Then…





John Black makes his way from the back to a big reaction from the crowd. He stares the owl down the whole way, almost as if he was taking this seriously… but how could he, really?

To start the match off, JB extends his hand for referee Mika Hunt to attach the leather strap to his wrist. The other end having already been applied to Hootie by unnamed backstage handlers before the owl was sent to the ring, JB questions the official on whether Hootie has been checked for any contraband or if anyone is even sure the strap is secure.


Vinnie Lane: “Smart! JB is totally right to worry about that bird. There’s just something about its beady eyes I don’t quite trust!”


The bell sounds and Hootie immediately flies upward, stretching JB’s arm into the air. Hootie swoops down and takes swipes at Black with his talons, opening a gash on JB’s forehead right through his crip bandanna! JB ducks and does his best to avoid the swoops, but Hootie changes tactics, assaulting JB’s tethered hand as if he were wearing an orange jumpsuit and carrying a pair of scissors. Hootie goes to town on John Black’s pinky finger, and it looks like the digit might be severed by the bird’s strong beak.

Than, JB grabs the strap with his free hand and whips Hooties straight down into the mat. And does it again. And again. Feathers fly all over the ring as Black just keeps tossing the lightweight bird back and forth at the end of the strap. Once Black has Hooties stunned, he approaches and gets a grip on the owl’s skull with both hands, twisting its head all the way around! Hooties doesn’t seem to be in much pain from that, being an owl and all, until JB twists it around a second time! That gets a squawk from Hootie, and the owl is then sent into a fit of vertigo when Black releases his grip and Hootie’s head spins back into place. Black keeps the heat on, dropping a big elbow onto Hootie’s midsection… which causes an egg to fly out of Hootie and hit Vinnie Lane right in the face!


Vinnie Lane:”HEY! Gross, man! I don’t like runny eggs! Wait… does this mean Hootie’s a girl? I’m so confused right now!”


At ringside, still with egg on his face, Vinnie pulls out an issue of National Geographic and starts thumbing through it, trying to learn something about owls. Is the issue about owls? Who knows? Are there others under the desk? Possibly! These things are a mystery. What we know for sure, though, is that John Black has begun ripping feathers out of Hootie the Owl, all while shouting the words to Alouette in a really bad French accent. Completely balding Hootie’s rear end, JB gives it a slap and then produces something long and thin from his pocket.


Vinnie Lane:”Is that…. ohhhh”


If Vinnie would hire a second announcer, that announcer would have said “It sure is Vinnie! It’s a poultry thermometer!” And then we could all absorbe the gravity of what a thermometer means to a bare ass.


Vinnie Lane:”OH NO!”


John Black stuff the thermocouple into Hootie’s nethers, and Hootie squawks loudly. The thermometer quickly pops back up.


Vinnie Lane:”I guess that means he’s done?”


Hootie flaps its wings wildly, slapping them onto the canvas in what could probably be considered a tap out for someone who has, like, hands. Referee Mika Hunt agrees and calls for the bell!


Winner by Submission - John Black



Vinnie Lane:”Well, that was terrible for a lot of reasons. I can’t wait for THAT call from the FCC! Folks… I’m hearing we have a special look at the Super Dear’Os courtesy of their amazing community service work before we got started tonight! Roll the tape, dudes!”
Ashley Ackles adjusted the blue and white mask around her face as she threw an empty Subway wrapper into a nearby bin as she and her best friend and fellow superhero of XWF, Ruby, were busy helping out the community by picking up trash. Of course there was a camera crew there to record everything. How else were they going to show their good example to the world?

“You know, this reminds me a lot of you, Maxine,” Ashley chuckled in her Northern English accent as the much wider and heavyset powerhouse of the duo gestured to the bin. “You’re trash, I’ve seen your Twitter feed and I had to take, like, 10 showers after seeing it. But you are exactly what is wrong with professional wrestling. No morals, no family values, just disrespect and vulgarity and Ruby, my partner, my fellow superhero, has somebody that we know all too well, in Bobbi Tyler and it goes without saying that Ruby is going to vanquish you, just like how a hero vanquishes the villain, tell ‘em, Ruby!”

Ashley said with a nod as she flexed and gestured for her tag team partner to continue where she left off. Ruby grabbed a bit of plastic from underneath a nearby bush, pulling it slowly to reveal a whole plastic bag that had an empty paper cup in it. She shook her head and sighed before throwing it into the garbage bin they were wheeling behind them.

“Ash has a point. While I think Maxine’s personality is mostly down to her… well, not having an actual personality, Bobbi London is a different thing. But London, your streets are dirty, and we’re here to do the clean-up, see? You may have won the Internet Championship, but winning one title doesn’t mean you’ve won the flippin’ war. When we’re done, Anarchy will be as sparkly clean as these streets after we’re through with them. At the next show, we’ll be throwing the pair of you into the proverbial wheelie bin. I suggest that you use the humility of your impending defeat to recycle yourself into something more palatable and useful.”

Ruby kicked a few cigarette butts together with her foot and scooped them up with her gloved hand.

“The flippin’ audacity!” she sighed. “Smoking is bad for you, but it’s your own choice, at least, and we’re all masters over our own bodies. Smoking AND polluting the environment though? That’s just plain wrong!”

“Very well said, Ruby” the heavier and wider Ashley nodded with a bright smile on her face as she looked around, before picking up a condom packet that had been discarded. Ashley had a comical look of disgust on her face as she retched a bit, as if she was going to be sick as she put it in the bin and quickly brushed her hands on her big body.

“I swear, people around here are bloody disgusting! The only thing that makes me feel sick more than discarded...and inappropriate things that are just lying around, corrupting impressionable young minds, is the idea that I have to face Maxine.”

The masked Englishwoman scoffed a bit, looking right at the camera and jutting her finger at the camera. “We know that you’re both seeing this, Maxine and Bobbi, and we know that you disgusting, slobbish swine will be laughing and mocking us for daring to care about this beautiful, big blue marble that we call Planet Earth.” Ashley then picked up a black trash-bag that had a promo picture of Maxine on it.

“Well, let’s see who’s laughing after we’re done with you two, this is what I’m going to do to you, Maxine!” Ashley scowled as she put the bin bag down on the floor as the 250lbs young woman hit a big splash on the bin bag, squashing it and sending bits of trash flying from the burst bag as Ashley let out a comical scream.

“I THOUGHT THAT THERE WAS MEANT TO BE PILLOWS IN THAT BAG!?!?!” Ashley held her stomach and checked that she wasn’t stabbed by a pepsi can.

“ASH!” Ruby screamed, “look what you did, now we can start all over!” Ruby put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “We’re going to have to work on that temper of yours. Although I like your enthusiasm! Go big splashes!”

She started picking the trash back up and looked at the camera.

“So see you all on Thursday Night Anarchy, my lovelies! I’m sure even Laclànn will be tuning in. And if she’s watching this, yes, I know that the term ‘trash panda’ is very befitting my current situation. But you and your antics will have to wait. Ruby and Ash are going to make a statement, and it’s gonna be more powerful than a Mr. Clean ad!”



"The Amazing" Ashley Ackles
- vs -
Maxine
Internet Division Match!



Maxine steps over the ropes and before she can even fully get into the ring, Ackles is on her. Referee Chaz Bobo begrudgingly calls for the bell to officially start things as Max shoves Ashley back enough to finish entering the squared circle, and Ackles wastes no time marching right back up to her with a shove that barely moves Maxine an inch. Maxine pushes Ashley in return but Ackles only goes back a step before crashing back into Max with a forearm angled up into Maxine’s rectangular chin. Max wobbles from the hard shot, and Ackles lays another one in as Max leans into the ropes. Ashley backs up and winds up her arm like a home run slugger on deck, then flies toward Maxine and sends her over the top and to the outside with a huge clothesline!


Vinnie Lane:”Wow! Maxine does NOT go down easily, unless it’s like one of those rad chicks in prison movies from the 1980s… anyway, Max didn’t stay down long!”


Indeed, Maxine is up on her feet almost instantly, and grabs at the Amazing Ashley’s ankles. Max pulls Ackles by the ankles and Ackles’ ankles cause Ashley to actually accelerate access to the mat. That’s a lot of action on the part of the ankles of Ashley Ackles. Maxine moves to drag Ackles out under the bottom rope but Ackles holds onto said rope and then pulls Max in my curling her legs up. She then mule kicks Maxine to the guard rail, pushing the railing backward five or six feet and sending audience members scattering for safety as the air is sent out of Maxine’s lungs.

Shockingly, Ackles scales the corner in spite of being a rather… rubenesque… woman. She climbs to the top and leaps off of the turnbuckles to the outside, colliding with the crown of Max’s skull with a thunderous double ax handle that sends Maxine sprawling. Ackles gathers herself and then grabs two fists’ worth of Maxine’s jewfro, tossing her back into the ring. Ackles follows, and as Maxine finds her way to her feet, Ackles ir right there to assail her further with clubbing blows. Maxine is mostly able to shrug off the pelting fists of Ashley Ackles, even managing to grab her and send her into the ropes. Ackles rebounds, and as Maxine tries a big boot she hits nothing but air as Ackles stuns the crowd with a cartwheel to avoid impact!


Vinnie Lane:”Holy crud! Did you guys know chubby girls could do gymnastics???”


Maxine loses sight of her opponent, which gives Ackles time to scoop her up and rotate into a black hole slam!


Vinnie Lane:”Ashes to Ackles! She got all of it too!”


Chaz Bobo slides into position and hits the count!




1!





























2!!































Max gets a foot on the rope! Ackles didn’t take into account how tall Maxine is and thought she had her far enough away. The British BBW looks frustrated as she argues with Bobo, but the referee isn’t going to be changing his mind by the looks of things.

While Ackles continues to plead her case, Maxine has gotten up behind her on wobbly legs, and she sends a big forearm into Ackles’ back… no! Ackles sidestepped at the last moment and Maxine collides with Bobo! The referee is down! Ashley Ackles slides to the outside and grabs a steel chair. She heads back in and cracks Maxine over the head with the chair, bending the seat nearly in half! Max doesn’t go down! Maxine instead slowly turns to face Ackles, her body trembling with rage as a stream of blood starts to trickle out from her hairline. On the mat behind her, Chaz Bobo starts to come back to his sense.

Ackles sees the referee coming to, and she tosses the chair at Maxine, and then throws herself onto the mat and plays dead. Chaz Bobo stands up and sees Max with the illegal international object, Ackles “unconscious” on the canvas, and calls for the bell! He’s disqualified Maxine!


Vinnie Lane:”Oh no! Chaz got it all backwards! I saw it myself! Dude, Bobo, we are gonna have to talk about this one, my guy!”


Winner by Disqualification - Ashley Ackles



The Boston Bruiser
- vs -
Kuda



Vinnie Lane:”Folks I’m hearing there’s a commotion backstage, let’s take you to the scene right now!”


The scene shifts and blinks back on, showing all three Blackwater Brothers in the back of the arena pummeling Kuda in a hallway! Nearby is former XWF X-Treme Champion Zane Norrison with a metal pipe in his hand, and he’s standing over the unconscious body of The Boston Bruiser.

Officials flood the area after a second and the Blackwaters along with Norrison scatter, Zane dropping his weapon with a loud clang as the medics and security personnel check on Bruiser and Kuda, both of whom look like they never saw the attack coming. Both men are on their bellies, completely out cold, with faces already swelling from the unsolicited beatings they just received.


Vinnie Lane:”Holy crap! The Brothers Blackwater just perpetrated a calculated ambush on not only Bruiser, most probably in response to his actions this past Savage when he was scheduled to face Zane Norrison one on one, but also against Bruiser’s opponent for tonight, Kuda! Neither of those men is going to be able to compete tonight!”


NO CONTEST



Vinnie Lane:”Let’s take it to commercial and try to get things back on track here ladies and gentlemen!”
Vinnie Lane: “Folks we have got a real treat for you coming up next! This is a continuation of the first round in the Anarchy Championship Tournament! Remember, the winner of these brackets will go on to XWF Leap of Faith to face Sarah Lacklan for the chance to become the FIRST XWF Anarchy Champion! And these two stars are BIG. Former X-Treme Champion and current 24/7 briefcase holder, a friend of mine, Vita Valenteen, against a really solid up and comer who keeps proving himself more and more each passing week, Noah Jackson! Let’s get to it, there’s no WAY this match could be a let down!”




ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT ROUND ONE

Noah Jackson
- vs -
Vita Valenteen





The opening riffs of “Highly Strung” begin to play as the crowd jumps to their feet in excitement. VV runs out onto the stage and and postures for the adorning crowd. She makes her way down the ramp, slapping the outreaches hands of her fans along the way. VV the heads up the steps and runs along the outside apron. She grabs the top rope with both hands and springboards into the ring where she tucks and rolls before settling on a couched, almost ninja like pose. VV hops up and celebrates with the fans for a moment, pumping them up for the upcoming match. Finally, she settles into her corner and uses the ropes to loosen up as she waits for the match to begin.




Noah Jackson runs onto the ramp with a burst of energy, taunting to the crowds. He walks towards the ring going to high five fans before faking out and giving them a dab like a dick. He rolls into the ring and rests in his corner.


Vinnie Lane:”What an asshole!”


The bell rings to start the match. Noah walks up to Vita and starts trash talking her. She places her hands over her mouth shocked to hear the foul language coming out of Noah's mouth. Suddenly she slaps Noah across the face and the noise of the slap reverberates around the whole stadium.

Noah just looks at Vita stunned. He feels his cheek and then out of nowhere EYE RAKES her. This gets the referee involved as Vita stumbles backwards trying to see. Noah pushes the ref aside, grabs Vita and places her in a HEADLOCK.

He forces her to walk towards the corner and he then whips her to the other side if the ring before going after her, and as she turns around, Noah connects with a RUNNING KNEE.

Vita hits the corner post hard, stumbles out, Noah grabs her and executes a DDT, before going for a cover.


1!




















2!!
















Kick out! Vita kicks out but how!?



Noah gets to his feet first, helps Vita back to her and executes DOWN THUNDER a.k.a OMEGA DRIVER. This takes out the remaining energy from Vita, and Noah goes for the cover.




1!






















2!!




































3!!!!





It's over that quick!



Winner by Pinfall - Noah Jackson



Vinnie Lane:”Well that was something! Who booked this crap? Oh, it was me. My bad. Oh! Luckily we have some live footage unfolding that can eat up the time this match failed to use! Woohoo! Take us backstage, please!”
Kenzi Grey-Lacklan, the caramel-skinned starlet of stage, screen, and ring, walks into the cafeteria alongside Bubble Gum Enthusiast Roxy Cotton, both with legs shaking. They fall into a pair of chairs and breathe deep, both of their skins covered in nervous sweat.

Kenzi: I...I can’t…

Roxy: So...so much bad…

The two had accompanied Sarah Grey-Lacklan on the road trip from Beverly Hills to Tucson, Kenzi in the shotgun and Roxy laying down in the back, and the things they have seen cannot be unseen. Sarah’s “mastery” of driving their Night Rider car had taken them through at least four wrong exits, into a semi lane or two, across an intersection that previously didn’t exist, and a new form of drifting that would make even the most seasoned astronaut lose their lunch, all at breakneck speeds. And while Roxy WAS pleased with how well Sarah learned how to get out of a speeding ticked from her lessons, Kenzi was NOT please at Sarah immediately lowering her top to expose so much bosom!

Kenzi: She is just…

Roxy: ...the worst driver…

Kenzi: …...ever……

The two take many moments to calm their nerves. The show still hours away from starting, the cafeteria was closed for business. But Kenzi remembers that Sarah packed them some food and reaches into her purse to find what was provided:

Sarah’s Double Fiber Oat Bran Bars (injected with EXTRA bran flavor!)


Kenzi: Uh...gross…

Roxy: How do you eat those things?

Kenzi: By adding a pound of sugar when she’s not looking. Its how I drink her White People Brand tea, too.

The team known as Clear Connection sit up with a start as a noise is heard:

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

RUUUU-BYYYYYYYYY

The banana and lime girl LEAPS onto the scene with a burst of light! Kenzi smiles and claps, while Roxy rolls her eyes.

Ruby: Have no fear, dear citizens! I’m here to SAVE you from that DASTARDLY VILLAIN’S plan of bland! With-

She pulls out a brightly-colored cereal box. Her smiling mug and masked face is on the front, alongside a bowl filled with yellow and green circle-shaped cereal.

Ruby: Ruby-Ohs! Full of vitamins and minerals to make Mom happy...and enough sugar to send a diabetic into shock!

In another flash of light, Kenzi and Roxy have two bowls of Ruby-Oh’s in front of them. Roxy sniffs it with disgust while Kenzi immediately tries hers.

Roxy: Is this vegan, bb?

Ruby: Triple certified and organic!

Kenzi: OH MY GOD!

Kenzi’s face is one of pure pleasure. She slams her hand down on the table and then begins to shovel the cereal into her mouth. Roxy shrugs her shoulders and takes a bit, and then begins to shake like the time she dreamed of Vinnie on one side and Captain 80’s on the other.

Roxy: Holy Tom Cruise!

Roxy follows suit and downs her cereal immediately.

Ruby: Yet ANOTHER call for distress saved by the Hero for Everyone!

With a swirl of her only-in-these-segs cape, Ruby BOUNDS away.

Sarah: Beloved? Rox? You guys in here?

Eyes wide, Roxy and Kenzi hide the evidence of their sugary feast before Sarah walks in. Sarah flashes her Billion $$$ Smile as she sees the two, clearly quite sated, with her Oat Bran Bars in front of them.

Sarah: Sweet! I TOLD you guys that you would LOVE them! I sent a VERY strongly worded letter to the manufacturer on how to get the recipe JUST RIGHT.

Kenzi: Oh...um...yeah! They were great, babe!

Roxy: Yeah. Totally, bb.

Sarah smiles again but then her face falls. She raises her nose into the air and sniffs.

Sarah: Why do I smell sugar?

Faces fall and sweat beads foreheads. Sarah narrows her eyes at Kenzi.

Sarah: Mackenzie MiKAELA Grey-Lacklan! Why do I smell sugar?!

Possessing ZERO D when it comes to her wife, Kenzi sheepishly pulls out the Ruby-Oh’s box from behind her back and shows it to Sarah. The Blood Princess screams, causing both Kenzi and Roxy to flinch, turns on her heel and stomps off.

Sarah: I am going to KILL that damned Trash Panda!




Bobbi London
- vs -
Ruby
Non-Title Match



Vinnie Lane: “Dude! The next match features my FAVORITE wrestler on Anarchy...RUBY! I sure do love me some lemon and lime Ruby-Oh’s! Last week, she was able to defeat THE MONSTER MAXINE, but will she be able to take down her partner, the very FIRST XWF Internet Champion, the BEAUTIFUL Bobbi London?! I don’t know, dude! Check it out!”




Some lame-as-FLAME pussy guitar plays across the P.A. as the lights go dark and the Vinniefred EVEYLN Lane Tron flairs to life. And...damnit it...the crowd sings along as green and yellow strobe lights fly all around, looking for the Hero of the People, as words appear on the Tron

Crowd: DA-DAT DAHHHHH! DA-DAT DAHHHHHHH!

The lights continue to search for her as the song kicks into gear until...in a crescendo of lame...the Kaisers get to the money shot:

“Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby!!”

In an explosion of light, your favorite mixture of banana and lime froyo BURSTS from the stage and high into the air before landing in a 3-point stance. She stands up, her arms at her waist, her chin above the horizon, as the fans throw yellow and green streamers at her in a cascade of color.


Vinnie Lane: “Who’s that jumpin’ out the sky? RU-BE-WHY O’DEARE-IO!”

Ruby spins in a circle, creating a tornado of streamers, until each and every one is held up by her whirlwind of goody-two-shoes. She then gently and politely hands all of the streamers to a stagehand before making her way down the aisle, taking forEVER due to her insistence in stopping to give a high-five to EVERY kid who wants one. Which IS every kid. Good LORD this is taking forever.

The Sickest C*nt” by Enkay1er begins to play as the lights turn up all through the arena. People begin searching around, somehow unable to find the Internet Champion...even though she’s, like 7’11” and 675 pounds. But B-to-the-L finally emerges through the crowd closest to the concession stands...because of course she does...with a microphone in hand as she sings along with the words to her rather obnoxious and crude theme song. She prompts the fans to sing along with her, which some of the young fans (and Noah!) do, much to the shock and embarrassment of anyone over the age of 25, or who at least have SOME sense of decency. Which, considering the XWF target audience, isn’t many. Bobbi slowly oozes over the barricade, as if she was the love child of a Hutt and the Blob (the GOOD Blob from back in the day and not that shitty 80’s remake, obvs) as she finally climbs into the ring. She takes many...many...deep breaths to recuperate before finally standing up straight and, pointing at the waiting Ruby, gives the fans what they have been waiting for:


“Oh bloody ‘ell, looky who it is you’s cunts;
Even at 291 pounds I’s still th’ bitch you’s wants!
Bobbi L, Internet Champ, so fire up yer blunts;
Bout to throw down for reals, no fake ass stunts!”

“Get yer ‘ands up bitches and get ready to rumble;
Like Ali and Foreman when they’s fought in th’ jungle!
It aint boxing mates, just me about to make Ruby crumble;
I’s said I’d maker ‘er ass pay and I’s didn’t mumble!”

“This bitch runnin’ round XWF like she’s a bloody super ‘ero;
Well you’s ass looks like a fuckin’ nerd so you’s a whack ass zero!
I’s wish that Ashley was ‘ere too so I’s beat you’s both in stereo;
But I’ll settle up with her boney ass later, so pip, pip CHEERIO!”

The crowd loses their SHIT as Bobbi drops the mic! Men openly weep, the majority of the women cream their pants, three different women immaculately give birth to adorable BABIES, all wearing Bobby L gear, and Tupac reached down from heavy to slip her some skin. The Cuntiferous One raises her arms in celebration, clearly believing that she has already won the match, and Ruby darts forward! Bobbi lowers herself into a fighting stance but then falls slack and shakes her head as Ruby crouches down, picks up the dropped microphone, brushes it off, and gently hands it over to the ring announcer. What a hero!

The referee pats down Bobbi...which includes the Internet Champion smirking a LOT...and then pats down Ruby. Ruby then INSISTS that the referee pat her down a SECOND time, JUST to make sure that she wasn’t holding onto anything she shouldn’t be. The referee FINALLY calls for the bell, a good TWENTY FREAKIN’ MINUTES from the time that lame “rock” hit the P.A.

DING! DING! DING!

Ruby walks forward and extends her hand in friendship and sportsmanship. Bobbi just kind of stares at it, smirks, and strikes! But Ruby ducks! While Darth Helmet IS right, that Good IS dumb, Ruby proves that they can learn! She doesn’t fall for the DASTARDLY antics of the team of BeAUTiful Bobbi and THE MONSTER MAXINE two weeks in a row! Bobbi’s swing hits nothing but air, causing her bodacious bod to fall off balance, and Ruby capitalizes with a quick dropkick to the knees. Bobbi wobbles, her knees threatening to give way under the impact of the hero’s feet and her own LOVELY weight, and Ruby takes advantage by hitting the ropes and leaping into the air after the rebound, connecting with a PERFECT missile dropkick to Bobbi’s chest, even performing a backflip and landing in her (soon to be trademarked) three-point stance. But Bobbie STILL won’t go down! Well, unless it was a black dude, because, well ya know. Gritting her teeth, Ruby stands and backs into the ropes, rebounds off and leaps HIGH into the air! A vertical leap of nearly six feet as she throws her legs forward, hooking her heels behind Bobbi’s head and pulls downward for a hurricanrana!

And gets DRILLED into the mat with a VICIOUS powerbomb counter! The entire ring SHAKES as the Internet champion PLANTS the banana/lime/ew masked crusader, her beAUTiful head jamming into Ruby’s abdomen and knocking the wind out of her. Ruby stares up at the lights as she tries to bring in deep breaths with a core that won’t function, and Bobbi slowly gets back up to her feet. She shakes her head, slowly lumbers to the ropes for some leverage (the ropes nearly breaking under the straight, for that matter), and looks for the Thunder from Down Under! Into the air she goes and down with the leg...but Ruby rolls out of the way! Bobbi crashes down hard, her face going wide with pain as her badunk (did I use that right, Ron?) finds nothing but the mat. But the Internet Champ recovers quickly...well, she rolls to one knee, anyway, and does that “fat person has to put a hand on their thigh and take a break before axly getting off the ground” thing...and shakes her head. She looks up and her eyes go wide as Ruby’s foot collides with her previously broken nose! Bobbi falls to the mat and Ruby LEAPS onto her for the cover!

1!





















2!!









RUBY IS AIRBORNE! Bobbi Ruby-Presses her off her body with such force that Ruby goes up and through the top and middle ropes and to the outside! Ruby has the wherewithal to hold onto the middle rope, though, and catch herself on the apron. She shakes her head, her eyes wide at the inSANE power of the absoLUTEly second-tier Anarchy Champion. But she recovers quickly, getting to a standing base and holding onto the ropes, biding her time. As Bobbi gets to her feet, facing the wrong direction, Ruby bends at the knee, pulls on the ropes, and then in a burst of energy, SPRINGBOARDS into the ring, her legs in front of her, and connects with a missile dropkick to the back of her opponent! Bobbi stumbles forward from the impact, her chest colliding with the ropes, which thankfully keep her on her feet. But then she screams in pain and surprise as Ruby catches her from behind with a spear, which the Super Dear’O times perfectly, and they BOTH find themselves tumbling to the outside in between the ropes!

The crowd cheers mightily as Ruby gets to her feet and immediately rushes back inside the ring. She jumps up and down, pumping her arms in the air, getting the crowd as excited as she is. As Bobbi gets to one knee, she runs across the ropes, rebounds back, and leaps HIGH into the air and over the ropes and comes CRASHING down on Bobbi with the Tope Con Hero! And immediately BACK into the ring goes Ruby! A smile on her face, she jumps up and down again, the crowd again being whipped into a fervor. Bobbi’s eyes are dazed as she gets to her feet again, and again Ruby hits the ropes and comes back, flipping forward over the top rope with her hands outstretched, another Tope Con Hero on the way.

BUT SHE’S CAUGHT IN MIDAIR!

The crowd gasps in utter HORROR as Bobbi Hero-handles the woman and SLAMS her entire BACK into the ring post! Ruby’s body coils in pain around the ringpost, her eyes shut, her mouth open. And unfortunately for her, she doesn’t see the running and jumping Bobbi through her pain. The Internet Champion SQUASHES Ruby with a running splash into the turnbuckle with a truly disgusted sound of flab on lean muscle. Bobbi laughs as she gets to her feet and sees the puddle of goo that was her opponent, now just kind of twitching and shivering on the ground. Bobbi reaches down and picks her up by the scruff of the neck, deadlifting the ALMOST tall enough to be part of the #5Foot2Mafia hero and THROWS her through the bottom and middle ropes, back into the ring. Ruby rolls several times until she comes to a stop in the center, her eyes closed, her body not moving.

Knowing she has all the time in the world, Bobbi slowly makes her way up the steps and into the ring. She sees that Ruby is OUT and takes the time to point and laugh at her. She points to the far ropes and claps her hands because it is TIME! She does her kinda-sorta jog thing to the ropes, stops partway to bust out some club dance that can only be seen in something out of “You Got SERV’D” or whatever its called, looking for her devastating leg drop again. But she stops! Her face becomes UBES mad. She points outside the ring? To what?

To the AMAZINGLY (obese) Ashley Ackles! The (inferior Ashley) friend of Ruby is double fisting cheesesteak sammiches, apparently making good on her promise earlier in the night that she WAS going to becoming the biggest and meanest woman on Anarchy! And Bobbi FULLY fails her save against the taunt and abandons her opponent. She disregards Ruby and walks over to the ropes nearest Ashley and yells and points at her, like she had just hit a SWEET piledriver in the Meadowlands Arena in ‘89. Bobbi shakes her fist and reaches for the delicious sammiches, fully ignoring a Ruby who has started to stir. The referee gets to Bobbi and pleads with her to ignore Ashley, and also tells Ashley to get out of here. Behind them all, Ruby gets to her feet and sees Bobbi vulnerable, though she can’t see Ashley on the outside due to Bobbi’s bodacious hips. Ruby hops to her feet and sets herself, ready to plant the champion with a Ruby Cutter.

And then she falls FLAT on her face!

Outside the ring, the DASTARDLY Sarah Lacklan, her face red and still STEAMED from her ultra fiber bran flavor-injected bran flakes being spurned in favor of some fruity Ruby-Oh’s, has ninja’d herself to the ring and pulled Ruby’s foot out from behind her! On the outside, Ashley has seen the action from her low vantage point and in between Bobbi’s legs, and she throws one of her Philly cheesesteaks at Bobbi’s head! The champion opens her mouth wide, like Kirby about to go to TOWN on an enemy. But then her eyes cross as the sammich hits her...and the lead pipe buried in the ribeye steak and canned cheese knocks her silly! The ref stares in shock as the second loaded sammich comes in and blasts the champion in the face, sending her to the mat with a crash! The referee has NO CHOICE but to all for a disqualification!


Winner by DQ - Bobbi London



Vinnie Lane: “What a debacle! This entire thing has turned into a mess… ladies and germs, let’s go to commercial again and then we’ll wrap up the show with two more AWESOME matches!”


ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT ROUND ONE

"Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
Raphael Blackwater



Vinnie Lane: “So this next match is the second Anarchy Tournament Match of the night. Who will join Noah Jackin in the second round? Will it be Internet Darling Ned Kaye or Raphael Blackwater of the Brothers Blackwater?”




All three brothers emerge, with Rapael in the lead. Pausing briefly, the brothers look around at the exuberant crowd, with immense entertainment. Sharing an amused glance to one another as the fans scream. From there they walk in unison to the ring, occasionally separating to approach a random fan that's losing their mind. Clearly, enjoying the effect they have on the crowd, the Brothers Blackwater continue onward. Once they reach the ring, two of the brothers hold up the bottom rope, as Raphael slides into the ring. Raphael then takes his place in the squared circle and awaits his opponent, while basking in the cheers from the audience.


Vinnie Lane: “It will be interesting to see if there will be a receipt given to the Brothers here for their attack earlier in the night during the Kuda and the Boston Bruiser match. Neither of those participants seemed to be pleased with the Brothers actions.”



The entire stadium goes black as the song begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Slowly stepping from the fog is none other then Notorious Ned Kaye. He stops for a moment, calming himself in front of the clamoring crowd. He lifts an arm, eyeing the stands to watch the many audience members who follow suit. With a single smile, he drops his arm and rushes towards the ring, slipping in from under the bottom rope, picking himself up immediately.


Vinnie Lane: You know I can't help but wonder if Ned Kaye will suffer at all from looking forward at his upcoming Warfare match with XWF Legend and all around pain in the ass "Chronic" Chris Page or if he is 100% focused on the man in front of him.


The two competitors size each other up for a second before Blackwater lunges forward and after a well placed knee to the midsection sends Kaye into the ropes. Ned Kaye is able to duck the attempted clothesline on the return but after bouncing off the far ropes he is unable to avoid Blackwater's flying forearm smash that sends Ned Kaye crashing hard to the mat.

Blackwater bounces off the mat and immediately gets back to his feet. He surveys the crowd for a hot second and then looks down at his opponent who is still laying on the mat grabbing at his forehead which bore the brunt of Raphael's forearm smash. Raphael reaches down and grabs Kaye by the back of the neck and slowly pulls him back up to his feet. Blackwater attempts a lockup but Kaye shoves him backwards creating a few feet of space between the competitors.



Vinnie Lane: Looks like we are getting a hard reset of sorts here as the two men start circling the ring, each man not wanting to make the first move. Will it be Raphael or will it be Ned. My money's on Raphael.


Ned Kaye lunges forward and with his shoulder takes Blackwater at the knees.


Vinnie Lane: Good thing I'm not a betting man.


Kaye follows up his leg take down Double Stomp to Blackwater's left leg. Kaye then grabs Blackwater by the leg and pulls him over towards the center of the ring and locks him into a Texas Cloverleaf.


Vinnie Lane: Looks like Ned is busting out some new tricks from arsenal.


Kaye has the move locked in tight as Blackwater looks like he's in agony. The ref looks down checking to see if Raphael wants to submit but despite how much pain he is in the man so far refuses to submit. Blackwater flails his arms about frantically trying to grab at the back of Kaye's legs to no avail. As this goes on Ezra Blackwater climbs up onto the ring apron and starts shouting which of course draws the attention of the referee who quickly walks over to where Ezra is standing and starts screaming something back at Ezra.


Vinnie Lane: I feel like I've seen this movie before. The Brothers Blackwater using their numbers to their advantage.


With the ref distracted by Ezra, Donovan slides into the ring and delivers a devastating roundhouse kick to Ned Kaye's face which of course forces Kaye to break the hold on Raphael. Donovan slides back out of the ring just as Ezra decides he no longer feels like screaming at the ref.

Raphael slowly get's to his feet, clearly favoring his left leg. He reaches down and yanks a semi conscious Ned Kaye to his feet. He pulls his opponent in close and lifts him up over his shoulders looking to deliver In the Shadow of Total Domination but his weakened knee seems to be making it hard but Blackwater manages to power through it and delivers his version of the F-5 as both men come crashing to the mat. Raphael reaches over and goes for a pin...





Vinnie Lane: Oh boy it looks like business is about to pick up here. That's The Boston Bruiser's theme music.


Both Donovan and Ezra take up a position at the end of the entry ramp as Raphael rolls over and slowly pulls himself up using the ropes as leverage. All three Brother's Blackwater bracing for the incoming attack.

The crowd starts going crazy with anticipation with each passing second but something seems off.

Donovan and Ezra look back at Raphael who looks as surprised as everyone else that the Boston Bruiser didn't come bull rushing down the ring. As all three Brother's look at each other none of them notice that Ned Kaye has not only gotten to his feet but has climbed through the far ropes and has taken up position on the far ring apron.

Raphael turns around to check on his opponent and just as he realized that Ned isn't where he left him Kaye leaps over the top rope and connects with Raphael hitting him with The Ego Crusher, a top rope hurricanrana that transitions into a headscissors submission hold.


Vinnie Lane: “Holy Crap snacks! Kaye came flying over those ropes like a squirrel that's done 5 lines of blow.”


Kaye has Blackwater locked in tight and despite Raphael's best efforts to try and break out of the hold he has no choice but to tap out just as his brothers realize what had happened in the ring.


Winner - Ned Kaye



Vinnie Lane: “Great showing from a mediocre talent in Ned Kaye. Listen, the sun shines on a dog’s butt from time to time, and Ned is enjoying the feeling of that warmth on his canine backside lately. No problem! But we’ll see how he fares when the tournament hits round TWO on the next Anarchy! In the meantime, it is time for our MAIN EVENT!””

Vinnie Lane: “Everyone, it is my pleasure to introduce my very special guest at the announce booth for tonight’s final match… my fiance and the sugar on my cereal, Roxy Cotton! What’s up, babe?”

Roxy: “Uhm… long drive… REAL long…”

Vinnie Lane: “Heck yeah! Road trip from back home in Malibu to here in Arizona with Sarah and Kenzi right? How was the ride?”


Instead of answering, Roxy shudders.


Vinnie Lane: “Um… Sarah drove, right? Everyone seems to have survived…”

Roxy: “I SAW things Vinnie… things no one should ever have to see when they’re in a passenger seat! She did her makeup in the rearview mirror for an HOUR going 90 miles per hour!

Vinnie Lane: “Whoa…”

Roxy: “And the lane changes… oh my god… four at a time, Vinnie! NO signal whatsoever… she just… she… she…”


Roxy’s voice warbles and fades into sobs as she breaks down in tears on Vinnie’s shoulder.


Vinnie Lane: “HEY! Let’s just focus on the match instead of the trauma then, how about that?”




Mastermind
- vs -
Serra Lockland
Kumite Bloodsport Match!
Each participant will have their hands wrapped in gauze, then dipped in glue before rolled through broken glass. MAKE HIM SAY MATTE!



Vinnie Lane: “Like most of the time, I have NO CLUE why I thought this match would be a good idea. I LIKE these two! I don’t want them to get hurt, dude! But… well, it is ANARCHY after all! And this time around my good friend for the last five years, a former teammate of mine and a guy who has accomplished almost everything there is to be accomplished in this business, decided to try on Anarchy for size. Will Mastermind be able to overcome the young phenomenon that is Sarah Lacklan? Let’s find out!”




The lights go out, and then when they come back on Mastermind is seen standing on the top rope waving to the crowd.


Vinnie Lane: “True story… I have NEVER figured out how he does that! While Mastermind is getting tended to by the officials, getting his hands wrapped in that gauze and dipped into the glass bits, which was definitely a problem getting approved by the state athletic commission, bee tee dubs, let’s take a minute to wonder… will Mastermind, the veteran, the guy who’s possibly had more matches under the XWF banner than just anyone else… can he take advantage of Sarah Lacklan suffering her first loss this past weekend on Savage? I know her, dude, that stuff gets in her HEAD. She could be in real trouble tonight!”




The lights go out in the arena and a spotlight shines on the entrance. Two men in marching band uniforms brandishing herald trumpets stand tall. After a few moments, they bring their horns to their lips and play a rousing fanfare.

As they end, God Save the Queen plays across the P.A. as the lights come on and four large men walk out from behind the curtain, a massive palanquin on their shoulders. Sarah Lacklan sits on the dais of red pillows and drapes, waving to the crowd and brandishing her Billion $$$ smile as they make their way down the ramp.

Upon reaching the ring, she takes a microphone from freakin' Kyle, the WORST XWF employee ever, and graces the audience with "Oh! And ANOTHER thing!" before here match begins.


Vinnie Lane: “The heiress of the storied Lacklan wrestling pedigree has taken the XWF by storm, particularly here on Anarchy. She earned pretty much whatever prize she wanted when she came in off the street and won the Queen of the XWF crown, and she used that leverage to demand a free pass to the Anarchy Title… until Leap of Faith she’s just treading water and keeping herself busy until her opportunity finally arrives. And she is just STARING a hole in Mastermind as referee Lawanda Sass applies the finishing touches on her Bloodsport gloves. This is gonna be more WICKED than a Gilmour wink!”


The bell sounds and the game is afoot. Lacklan keeps her distance, wisely, taking advantage of the slower moving and older Mastermind. ‘Mind doesn’t open himself to many risks, though, which frustrates the eager upstart and causes her to take one too many chances, going in for an ill advised overhand right while she was well out of range. Lacklan stumbles off balance which gives MM the chance he needs to lock Lacklan into a full Nelson, which he then transitions into a big slam!


Vinnie Lane: “Mastermind here is using his wits to make up for what he gives up in athleticism against an opponent in her prime. He just went for a cover even though he had to know she wasn’t anywhere near done… that’s how he gets in your head, dude, just reminds you he’s there the whole time, makes you carry his weight as well as your own… he’s a ring general!


Lacklan easily escaped from the lateral press, seeming more annoyed than anything else. Annoyance seems to actually be Mastermind’s master plan moving forward in the match, as he continually stays just out of range of Sarah’s fists, making her more and more angry until she slips up. After she loses her footing one time after a wild haymaker, Mastermind is quick to cinch on a side headlock… Sarah grimaces in the hold for a few moments, unable to work ‘Minds leverage into a side suplex after a few attempts. Finally, she simply takes her glassy death fists and grinds them into the meat of Mastermind’s thigh! The Master of Minds has no answer for that as blood right away seeps through his skin, and he releases the hold.


Vinnie Lane: “Super smart on Sarah’s part… not many people outsmart Mastermind, but she sure did there!”

Roxy: “Did you know if you go fast enough you won’t even notice running over traffic cones?”

Vinnie Lane: “Uhhhh…”

Sarah descends on Mastermind then, smelling blood in the water like a hammerhead. She pummels MM with combinations, forcing him to cover up to protect himself from the glass. He ducks low and even gets to one knee to cover as much body as possible, and Lacklan wastes no time taking advantage of his position by hitting the ropes and coming off with a shining wizard that sends Mastermind sprawling. Lacklan then leaps onto Mastermind and straddles him, continuing to do her best to utilise the weapons afforded her in the match stipulation but again getting frustrated by Mastermind’s nearly supernatural ability to move or cover his head to prevent too many shots from hitting directly.


Vinnie Lane: “Although Lacklan isn’t landing right on target, it doesn’t take a lot to open someone up when glass is involved… Mastermind has a lot of scratches and is definitely bleeding… I think Sarah even opened herself up a little bit with some of those unorthodox punches!


Lacklan indeed does have a shallow cut on her temple from her own fists. Mastermind manages to posture up a bit and rolls onto his stomach, allowing Lacklan to lean forward and sink a choke onto him… and it looks like that was exactly what MM wanted as he holds his breath long enough to scramble to his feet and run backward hard into the corner, crashing Lacklan into the turnbuckles and causing her body to go limp. Mastermind pulls Sarah onto the top of the corner and then climbs to the second rope, pulling her up and over in a superplex! Lacklan bounces hard on the mat, and Mastermind tries to put an end to the match my locking in his dreaded Boston Crab, the Mind Controller!


Vinnie Lane: “WOW I did not expect this! Sarah Lacklan is trapped in Mastermind’s finishing hold, a move he’s made famous by submitting a lot of the XWF’s biggest names! Not ME, of course, but other people. Lacklan is struggling hard though… she has some impressive upper leg muscle!”

Roxy: “Oh hey, also, did you know that Windows Phones have their own navigator? It’s probably not even real GPS, and it sent us RIGHT through actual desert. Like, not on a road. Just sand. SAND, Vinnie.”

Vinnie Lane: “Sarah’s out! She worked her thighs enough to get Mastermind off balance, and she’s broken the hold! Amazing!”


Sarah crawls on her belly away from the stumbled Mastermind, who can’t believe she got away. He looks at the wrappings on his hand as if maybe they contributed to his grip breaking, but not for long as he tries to get to Lacklan before she can get to her feet again. Lacklan hits a back kick when he tries to grab her ankle, and hits a second when he goes for it again. Mastermind has to let Sarah up, and she does so with a flip of her hair that lets everyone know she didn’t like eating that punishment and doesn’t want to allow any more. She goes into a bout of pugilism with ‘Mind once more but much more conservatively, not letting her emotion get the best of her and trick her into taking risks. Mastermind uses his size to cut the ring in half, and starts shrinking Lacklan toward a corner. He closes distance and throws some punches to her body, into her ribs. Sarah absorbs them but her face tells the story - those shots hurt. Lacklan has no choice but to go toe to toe, and although her shots are faster they lack the precision of Mastermind’s, and she ends up on the receiving end more often than the other way around. One hook from Mastermind in particular really catches her good on the side of the head, and it splits the pinna of her left ear open, sending a cascade of blood down the side of her head and neck! Mastermind pulls his jagged fist back and does a double take at the huge tangle of blonde hair stuck to the end of it.


Vinnie Lane: “Sarah better think of something, or she’s going to lose a ton of blood and be in serious trouble!”


Lacklan ducks under a big right hand and manages to sidestep out from the corner of the ring. Seeing her opening she sends some crisp OBVS kicks into Mastermind’s bloody thigh, and the veteran’s leg buckles. Sarah doesn’t waste any time, hitting the ropes and coming back off with a leap… Cop Killa! Mastermind’s face is shredded by the big superman punch assisted by broken glass!


Vinnie Lane: “She isn’t done! Mastermind might need plastic surgery after that big move, and Sarah’s going for it a second time!


Lacklan once more hits the ropes and flies off, drilling her already bloody fist into the cranium of a staggering Mastermind, causing another fountain of blood to shoot out of his head. Mastermind collapses to his knees and seems to be nearly in shock at the amount of blood pouring from his decimated forehead. But when Lawanda Sass gives him a chance to give in, he waves her off… which might have been the wrong move. Sarah Lacklan grabs him from behind while on his knees, pulling his head backward by hair wet and heavy with blood, then hooks her arm around his face and slams him backward in a reverse DDT!


Vinnie Lane: “ABYSS! Sarah went for the kill!”


Lacklan floats over and hooks the near leg, the side of her own face completely covered in blood that continues to pour from her ruined outer ear. The pin seems almost as much out of desperation as opportunity.





1!

































2!!

















































3!!!







Mastermind stays down, and an exhausted Sarah Lacklan falls off of him, not even able to raise an arm in victory.



Winner by Pinfall - Sarah Lacklan




Vinnie Lane: “She did it! Sarah survived against a grizzled XWF veteran! And luckily here comes her wife Kenzi to help her make her way to the back… she’s going to need some medical attention on that ear…”


Medics walks with Sarah, who is being helped by Kenzi Grey to the locker room, as well as check on Mastermind who is sitting up in a corner a bloody mess.


Vinnie Lane: “That’s it for tonight, everyone! Next time we’ll see more tournament action as well as a possible announcement regarding actions we saw earlier from Ashley Ackles as well as the Blackwater Clan… as always, we look forward to having you along for more ANARCHY! Say goodbye, Roxy!”

Roxy: “Goodbye Roxy…”

Vinnie shakes his head as Roxy just stares off into the distance, flinching from flashbacks of many near-miss collisions from the drive over. Anarchy fades to black.





Special thanks to:

Darius Xavier
Mastermind
Sarah Lacklan

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