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The Brothers Blackwater · (06-11-2019)

"Well, it's finally here, ladies and gentleman..."

"The moment of truth!"

"The moment I predicted last year, back when I was the X-Treme champion."

"Sure, it might not be happening precisely like I surmised but the general gist of the matter is fairly accurate."

"That of course, would be who my opponent happens to be... and what's at stake, for our upcoming battle."

"I'm set to face Robert Main, for the Universal title."

"Now, I'm certain Mr. Main won't remember this... due to having the same exact attention span of a fruit fly but I called his match with The Engineer. I said that he was going to claim victory and eventually, I would take the title from him. What happened? Robert Main beat the Engineer, as I foretold it. And now what's set to take place? I'm going to face Robert Main for the Universal title. I knew this day was going to arrive, much like I realize the final solution. The end game. I know my destiny. I am fated for greatness and that top tier accolade is the Universal title. The man who became a champion in his second match ever and carried that belt for eighty four days, will be victorious, yet again. When I topple Robert Main off his pedestal and take his prize as my own. Then a true champion, worthy of the right to wield the title, will claim his place atop the proverbial hill. This is my moment to shine, I deserve nothing less."

"Naturally, poor predictable Robert Main, thinks otherwise. He seems to think I'm unworthy and wrongfully placed in the match. That's because Robert Main is an idiot. A nincompoop. A moron, incapable of logic. If he had his way, he'd be facing Ned Kaye again. Or Tommy Wish. Or Mastermind. Or some other fucking reject who's greatest accomplishment is putting their boots on the right feet and lacing them up before a match. Even that is a bit too much for Tommy Wish, that's why he wears sneakers with velcro closures. In other words, Robert Main would be happy to face anyone that doesn't offer up a real challenge. He beat the Engineer and now every single person he's faced thus far, has been pathetic, lackluster shitheads. Robert Main has been phoning it in, ever since he beat Engy. He's a paper champion. Someone that shows up every blue moon and wrestles. If he can even be bothered to do that."

"It's how he handles wielding the Tag championships with Drew. Those titles are barely defended and when they are, half the time James Raven has to pinch hit for Main. That's what happened at March Madness. Drew and James defended the tag straps cause Main couldn't handle being booked in two matches. When I'm Universal champ, I'll defend the title three times in a row, on the same night and I won't select worthless nobodies like Main picks. Hell, I'll suggest an open tournament and face half the locker-room, all at once. That's the kind of hardcore, balls to the fuckin' wall type of matches, you can expect when I'm champion."

"Guys like Big D won't be invited. Seriously, how many times does that doofus have to drop the ball and utterly fail, before the powers that be realize Big D is terrible. Robert Main wants to talk about my performance at War Games, what about Big D? That guy was eliminated long before I was taken out of the equation. I was second to last. Second to last. And he wants to act like I gave a shoddy performance. Oh okay buddy, like you were even watching my fight. You probably had to google my name, in order to figure out what I've done so far in the company. You're such a lazy ass, awful excuse for a wrestler. It's too much of a struggle to keep up with the competition. That's why you resort to saying contradicting statements... like I'm lame and I'm also entertaining. What the fuck? So admittedly you're entertained by things that you also find to be lame? Were you born with a broken brain or was that a condition that developed over time?"

"The only reason you even remember to cut promos is because Drew turns the camera on for you. That's how shitty and pathetic, you are. It's too much of a chore to turn on the fucking camera. So you get your lover to do it for you. Yeah, unlike you, I have a functioning brain and a damn good memory, to boot. I remember when you and Drew won the tag titles. How you were bragging about your partner, beforehand. Saying that he was chomping at the bit, waiting to get back in the ring, like he was some kinda rabid animal. Cause clearly he's your gimp and you had him locked away in your sex dungeon."

"That's fucking sick dude. Nobody wants to know about the weird, twisted, freaky stuff that you and Drew do with each other. Anyone can plainly look at Drew and tell that he's a deviant of some sort. It's that gleam in his eyes. You can just tell there's something off with him. He ain't right in the head. On top of that, you're some kind of dark, disturbed backwoodsmen. I've seen enough horror films to know... simply by looking at you, that you're some type of dirty, depraved pervert. I seen American Horror Story: Roanoke. You and your whole entire clan probably get involved in the "fun". Incest, it's a game the whole family can enjoy, 'eh Robbie? That's fucking disgusting, man. I'm going to have to disinfect the Universal title after I take it from you, aren't I? Soak it in bleach or something."

"Being that you're a sick freak, who knows what kind of nasty shit you've done, while wearing it. It boggles the mind. Then again, I'm not a creepy dude from the forest, that fornicates with his family members and keeps a gimp locked up in a sex dungeon. I bet you're a cannibal too. You more than likely set up booby traps on the road, ones that are constructed to really fuck up the tires on automobiles. Shreds them to pieces. Then when an unsuspecting motorist gets into an accident, they're forced to go to the nearest house for help. Which just so conveniently... happens to be your little shack of hillbilly horrors. Once you lure them inside, that's it. Those people are never heard from again. Isn't that right, you fucking creepy bastard? Yeah, I know I'm right."

"I mean, come on... look at this fucking guy!"

[Image: KJCeYKg.jpg]

"The guy is creepy as hell. What style of dress is that? It's like he popped straight outta The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And The Hills Have Eyes. Combined. He's like a living embodiment of a murderous hick. A walking advertisement about the dangerous freaks that live in the woods. Stalking and preying on innocent folks traveling to the country from the city. I bet he has a copy of the Necronomicon in his basement along with the Kandarian dagger. When they created The Buckner Family for the film, Cabin in the Woods, they based them off Robert Main. I'm certain Captain Spaulding is his best friend. Tooty fuckin' Fruity is probably his favorite ice cream. He picks up a pint every time he's going to hang out with Baby."

"Alright. I think I've made my point. I should switch topics and address Big D. Most individuals think the D stands for Dick or Dong but that can't be right. On account of the fact that he's so much of a vagina. He's literally a walking, gaping vag. Just watch anything he's ever recorded. He's a pussy. His stuff is so god awful, the suicide rate on camera men in the XWF has skyrocketed to astronomical levels. The XWF has a therapist and a suicide hotline now, because of his promotional videos. I'm not even a cameraman and I know I had the urge to leap straight from my balcony, after I watched one of Big D's promos. Big D. Stands for Big Douche. Like the douche he uses to clean out his crater sized vag. Robert Main can focus on that waste of oxygen. Ironically, it shall lead to his downfall cause it's common knowledge that Main can't focus on two things at the same time. The task, it's too much for him. Maybe he'll tag James Raven into the match, mid-way through the fight. That would be his only saving grace on leaving the arena with the Universal title still in his possession."

"Anyway, that's enough for now. I've said my piece. I don't need to waste anymore words. Till next time fellas. Peace."

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