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ANARCHY - 5/16/19
Author Message
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Offline
The Guy
*********
Administrators



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


Post: #1
05-16-2019 07:59 PM







LIVE!!!




FROM DREAMSTYLE ARENA IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO!




John Rogan
- vs -
EDWARD







Maxine
- vs -
"The Sandman" Reggie Martin
Internet Division Match!







Mini Morbid
- vs -
John Black
Falls Count Anywhere!







Bobbi London
- vs -
"The Amazing" Ashley Ackles
Internet Division Match!







"Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
Vita Valenteen
Internet Division Match!!







Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Ruby







Noah Jackson
- vs -
Kuda
No DQ!




HUGE pyrotechnic explosions send sparks and smoke through the air as Anarchy hits the waves! As always, the wild, panoramic camera shots of people in the crowd swing to and fro, eventually finding "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane at his announce desk at ringside.


Vinnie Lane: “WELCOME TO ANOTHER ANARCHY!!! Tonight we are coming to you LIVE from… huh? We need to cut to who? What!? AGAIN!?!? Come on man!”

The lights in the "ENTER NAME HERE" arena/collesium/bingo hall go dark and the New Mexico (the fuck are we doing HERE?!) crowd mills in silence, wondering what is about to befall them in this very ummm...THIRD edition of Anarchy. Then a small spotlight appears on the stage where two men in marching band uniforms walk out, each carrying a herald trumpet. The men lift the horns to their mouths and play a bright fanfare, notes loud and high, filled with pride.



After the fanfare, the two men step aside as “God Save the Queen” plays across the P.A. The crowd isn't confused THIS time as the curtain on the stage is opened wide and four large men come out, because they totes saw this last time and LOVED IT no matter WHAT people said, each man holding a pole beneath a mammoth red and black throne which glitters in the light with gold. The cheers greet the famously #SquatBooty on the throne belonging to none other than Sarah Lacklan.


[Image: 2thCeA4.gif]


And the crowd obediently LOSES THEIR SHIT

Crowd: YOU ARE OUR GOD *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*

YOU ARE OUR GOD *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*

Sarah smiles and waves as the four men bring her down to ringside. Dressed in a red robe and cape, the XWF King of the Ring crown upon her head and long black and red scepter in her free hand, with the Federweight Championship across her shoulder, the albino is a glittering diamond slowly being carried down the aisle. As they get to the ring, they lower Sarah and her throne down to the ground at ringside, and a nameless/faceless XWF employee hands the Blood Princess a microphone.

Sarah: HIIIII-iiiiiii! My name is Sarah Lacklan-

She pauses to show off her Billion $$$ smile and the crowd plays their part:

Crowd: MAR-KET-ING GEEEEENIUUUUUUUS!

Sarah: And I am YOUR-

She points to the crown on her head.

Sarah: QUEEN of the Ring! And! AND! YOUR-

She points to the title belt on her shoulder.

Sarah: Federweight Champion! That’s right, all you Fang Gangers out there, you all bore witness to me squishing the Massachusets Pissbaby (GOOOoooooooOOOOO PISSBABIES!) like a BUG last week, which means that I get to keep this lovingly caresses and polished belt of gold on my sexy-ass shoulder for a little while longer. And while I know that...some day...I will lose this championship...

She puts on the most totes adorbs pout there has ever been, and the crowd "Awwwwwww"s for her.


Sarah: It was not THAT day! And it won't be TOday, either! Because while I face perhaps my greatest challenge yet on Anarchy tonight, I will do so with my head held high as YOUR Queen of Anarchy! So, lets get these matches going so that I can relax and breath in all of my little subjects. Dance for me, my royal subjects! Dance for me before I face the Trash Panda!




John Rogan
- vs -
EDWARD



Vinnie Lane: “Ladies and germs I don’t want to hold you back for too long, we have another action packed episode of Anarchy to get to as the XWF rolls closer and closer to War Games… our first match tonight pits two big hosses against one another as John Rogan takes on the prehistoric bad boy, EDWARD… who I took the liberty of making sure was already in the ring today so we didn’t have to listen to his entrance music! You guys can thank me later!”

Indeed, EDWARD stands in the middle of the ring, throwing his arms around and looking impatient. He flinches when Rogan’s music hits, not expecting the sudden noise.


The lights dim, the excitement settles in the arena, Enter Sandman by Metallica blares, as the lights begin to pulsate. Onto the stage appears a silhouette of John Rogan, his arms out to the sides. As the drumming begins, the e-wrestling veteran walks towards the ring, the fans cheering, the lights pulsating. Once he reaches the ring, he slides in under the bottom rope, he throws his arms in the air walking around the ring.

Vinnie Lane: “This is going to be a hard hitting affair, I can tell already… two big slabs of beef just slapping against one another.”

The camera zooms in on Vinnie, who looks like he instantly regrets his phrasing.

Vinnie Lane: “I mean, like, not in a gay way or anything. Go to the ring!”

The bell sounds and the two men stalk one another in the middle of the ring, circling around each other looking for an opening. Occasionally one man takes a swipe at the other, but overall they are both tentative and rather reticent to engage. They lock up and strain against one another for a brief time, then break apart. They repeat. Neither seems sure of how to gain an advantage over someone of such size and strength.

Just then, a commotion breaks out in the crowd. Fans part like the Red Sea as a large, barrel-chested man holding a steel chair hurries down through the seats and hustles to the guard rail, hopping over and sliding into the ring before either competitor realizes he’s even there.


Vinnie Lane: “Pull the cameras back, guys, it looks like we have an unruly fan… a really big one at that… I guess he wants to get beaten by an entire locker room full of wrestlers and then dragged into court by awesome lawyers… wait… hold on… that’s no fan! That big sumbitch is Jon Brogan!”


Brogan dents his chair on the back of EDWARD’s skull, dropping the paleolithic prizefighter face first to the mat. John Rogan charges him but eats the edge of the chair right into his guts as Brogan drives the steel chair into his midsection, then slams it down onto his back after he bends over in pain. EDWARD rolls into a corner and drags himself to his feet but is crushed by a massive Avalanche running splash from Brogan, who then tosses Rogan into an opposite corner and repeats the move. John Rogan and EDWARD are both barely conscious and hanging onto the turnbuckles for dear life when the Boston Bruiser pulls EDWARD out by the hair and then snares him in a bear hug, lifting him up and around and crashing into the canvas with a 400 pound belly to belly suplex.

Referee Lawanda Sass has no choice but to throw the match out, and the bell sounds to declare an official No Contest.


Winner - NO CONTEST




Vinnie Lane: “This guy is out of control! We need security out here! He’s got a table!”


Indeed, the Bruiser has exited the ring and dragged a plywood table from underneath, setting it up diagonally from the top of the guard rail to the floor. He rolls back into the ring and grabs Rogan, tucking him down between his legs and then pulling him into the air for a powerbomb… the Bruiser takes three steps ad launches John Rogan over the top rope, sending him careening through the table at ringside!


Vinnie Lane: “Oh my god! Someone get some help out here for John Rogan! He could be dead!”


Turning his attention back to EDWARD, whos is slowly dragging himself on his hands and knees toward the ropes, the Bruiser walks over and straddles the cavalier caveman, then jumps up and comes down hard on the small of EDWARD’s back. EDWARD collapses, and the Bruiser drags him by the limp arm into a corner, then scales up to the second rope.

Vinnie Lane: “What’s this lunatic going to do? He’s nearly half a ton, EDWARD is about to get squashed like a bug!”

The Boston Bruiser bounces on the ropes for a few seconds, then jumps up as high as his body can go while he still holds onto the top rope. He comes down with a thunderous banzai drop onto EDWARD’s chest, and the coveter of all things shinny goes limp.


Vinnie Lane: “He calls that the Wicked Pissah, and it’s done the damage here tonight… listen to this crowd boo the decimation they see at the hands of Jon “the Boston Bruiser” Brogan right now, it’s deafening!”


In the ring, Jon Brogan stands and poses with his dented steel chair, smiling at the carnage he’s created. As security personnel finally arrive en masse, the Bruiser rolls out of the ring and escapes through the crowd from whence he arrived. EMTs check on EDWARD and John Rogan as the cameras shift back to Vinnie at ringside.
Vinnie Lane: “A truly despicable act perpetrated by the brash newcomer here in the XWF, let’s take things backstage for a pre-recorded statement while we try to restore order out here at ringside…”


Maxine
- vs -
"The Sandman" Reggie Martin
Internet Division Match!





“Say My Name” by Judd Hoos pumps through the arena as the stoic and silent Maxine walks slowly down the ramp. Her muscles ripple in her arms as she clenches and unclenches her fists while heading to the ring, and finally entering the squared circle.


Vinnie Lane: “Maxine has been a friend, an employee, and a partner to my awesome fiancee Roxy Cotton for quite some time. Hopefully she’ll start to put things together in terms of her in-ring career, because she has a ton of natural talent in that muscle-bound body of hers, dude! You should have seen the sack she laid on the other team’s QB during last week’s LFL game for my Quetzalcoatl!”




“The Sandman” Reggie Martin charges to the ring and dives in under the bottom rope. He wastes no time whatsoever in rushing Maxine, and the two powerhouses go blow for blow, trading hard right hands as referee Mika Hunt sees no choice and calls for the bell to officially start the contest.

Martin throws a knee into Max’s midsection to gain an advantage, then clasps her behind her head to rush her into a corner. Moving to slam Maxine’s face into the top turnbuckle, Martin wraps his hand in Max’s curls and yanks her head back… but when he slings her forward toward the turnbuckle pads, Max sticks her arms out and grabs the top rope, blocking his effort. Martin tries to power through it but Maxine has an iron grip. Max sends a back elbow into Reggie Martin’s face, staggering him back, and then drops him with a sudden mule kick to the chest.


Vinnie Lane: “Great athleticism from Maxine! Reggie on the other hand is making some real rookie mistakes out there. I think he calls himself the Sandman because his moveset is so boring it puts you to sleep!”


Maxine scrambles and gets to Martin just as he regains his vertical base, then scoops him up into a jumping atomic drop. Wincing, Martin clutches his tailbone and turns around, only to be ensnared into an inverted atomic drop that sends him to the mat holding his family jewels and kicking his feet in pain. Max then proceeds to rain down stomps on the fallen body of Reggie Martin, who can’t do anything other than turtle up and try to avoid the shots as best he can.

Martin rolls out of the ring, taking a powder to try and clear his head. He walks in exasperation, circumnavigating the ring and waving his hand in dismissal toward Maxine, then starts to head for the entrance ramp!


Vinnie Lane: “Is Reggie abandoning his match? Is that what we’re seeing here tonight?


On the ramp, Reggie continues to walk toward the entranceway. As he passes under Sarah Lacklan’s viewing throne, a dollop of white smears across his shaved head, dribbling over his eyebrow. As he wipes the mess away into one of his MMA gloves and stares at it in consternation, he eventually is drawn by the sound of Mrs. Lacklan cackling with amusement from above. He sees her sitting up there with a pigeon on her shoulder, sticking a tiny piece of paper into its beak. When Sarah whispers into the bird’s… ear? I guess? It takes flight and heads over to Vinnie’s announce desk, leaving another offering of goo from its cloaca as it departs. Reggie dodges the second projectile, and quivers with rage upon realizing its point of origin… he then starts attemptig the scale the throne itself!


Vinnie Lane: “Hey there little birdie! Whatcha got there? A note for me? So cool! Let’s see… ‘Vinnie you are a butt.’ That’s it. That’s the whole note? Man, come on Sarah!”


Lacklan hoots with more laughter after watching Vinnie read the note and frown. When she notices Martin starting to climb the side of her throne apparatus, she begins shouting for someone to come stop him. Luckily for her, Maxine had already made her way to the ramp and she grabs a hold of Martin’s leg, pulling him off of the throne and onto the concrete floor. Dazed, Martin attempts to throw a forearm shot to the taller, bigger woman… but it’s brushed aside and Maxine grabs Martin and hoists him over her shoulder, then turns toward the production area. With a smirk, Max runs a few steps forward and then launches Reggie Martin like a lawn dart, chucking him into a table covered with mixing boards and television monitors!


Vinnie Lane: “Oh crud! Max! That stuff’s expensive!!! Oh and Reggie might have gotten hurt, too. Oh, wait… Maxine is headed back to the ring! She’s gonna make it!


Maxine walks back to the ring with poise as a shocked Mika Hunt, who had stopped counting to ten halfway through while watching Maxine murder Reggie Martin, remembers that she has a job to do and continues counting. Max rolls into the ring just as the official gets to nine, and as she stands up Hunt hits the ten-count and calls for the bell, declaring Maxine the winner!


Winner by Count Out - Maxine



Vinnie Lane: “Things have definitely been chaotic as heck here tonight, everyone! Two matches in a row that require immediate medical attention for our athletes is never a good sign… the EMTs are using a plywood board to carry Martin to the back, which didn’t work out so well for that one Mexican dude a couple years ago. Thought and prayers, dude! I think this is a great time to throw it backstage to my boy John Black as he prepares for his next match!
It rolls into a scene with Black in the locker room, with a black towel over his head. These words appear on the screen.

Some Man Said:I’m the minstrel man
I'm the cleaning man
I'm the pole man
I'm the shoeshine man
I’m a nigga man
Watch me dance

He stands in front of his Public Enemy Flag, as he speaks to the camera.

"Does it even matter? Does it even matter on what I need to say. A man once sung, "Walk on niggers, walk on" in a movie. When I hear that, it gives me an inclination for either wanting to either hurt or motivate people. In this case, I want to hurt those who tend to ignore my people, and this match will be something to witness or not. I could care less about being on the good side with these people, all they see is minstrel man dancing, or in this context shucking and jiving like an Akeem.

At the end, all I can do is walk on Anarchy and "dance" my way into a victory. This ain't no New Day shit, R-Truth bullshit. This is an all out war, a war that will be a battle among my own sanity.

Tonight will be no different, I will send a message that I am not to be fucked with, come hell or high water..."


An image of Buckwheat from little rascals superimposed over Mini Morbid's face gets blasted by a shotgun, as the next segment comes in.



Mini Morbid
- vs -
John Black
Falls Count Anywhere!




A single blood-red spotlight shines down over the ring as several cherubs carry Mini Morbid down from the rafters and set him in his corner. As they fly back up to the heavens after depositing him safely, he grabs one and bites its leg off, chewing only once before swallowing and then tossing the dismembered cherub back up into the air, watching it struggle to fly away before it bleeds to death. He then straightens out his tights and waits for his opponent.

Vinnie Lane: “Oh wow… that was gnarly!”




The lights goes down, and smoke starts to rise out of the entrance way. Then the drum kicks in, and the lights come back on and we see JB walking down the entrance, as he heads to the ramp he talks smack to the camera. He then rolls into the ring, and goes to the middle buckle puts his fist in the air. Then he gets towards the middle of the ring and waits.


Chaz Bobo calls for the bell and Mini Morbid struts to the center of the ring with his gloved fists firmly planted on his hips. He gives off a regal image, standing with his tiny chest puffed out, his muscles gleaming with the finest vaseline. The small cape on his shoulders flutters in the wind created by a fan he now holds in his hand in front of him. A sight to behold.

John Black kicks Mini in the midsection and sends him flying into the corner like a bad field goal attempt. He clangs off the upright and falls flat on his face. Not wasting any time, Black scoops up Mini by his tiny cape and the seat of his tights, and then heaves him headfirst into the ring post. Mini collapses to the mat limply as John Black walks around the ring with his arms up, cheesing for the crowd who cheer him on. Eventually he makes his way back to Mini’s carcass, lifting him off of the mat and pulling him up over his head in a gorilla press.

Mini wriggles free from the precipice of doom, clambering down JB’s arms and crawling into the back of his Wu Tang tee shirt. JB struggles to get him out, but Mini pops back up through the neck hole and yanks back on the shirt collar, choking JB and forcing him to rip at the cloth to breathe freely. Now the shirt is all stretched out! JB has bacon neck! Mini Morbid pops out from the shirt and sits on JB’s shoulders, straddling the back of his head. Mini gouges at Black’s eyes from behind, then fishhooks him with one hand while twisting JB’s nose with the other.


Vinnie Lane: “Mini Morbid is an innovator! A lot of people think he has a disadvantage due to his size, but I would suggest it actually works in his favoOHMYGOD!!!”


John Black had grabbed Mini by the face and thrown him out of the ring and into the side of Vinnie’s announce table like a split-fingered fastball. The table remains intact, since Mini weighs less than 50 pounds (he cut weight for this fight), but the damage to Mini Morbid is evident. Literal X-es cover his eyes as cartoon birds circle him and he snores.

John Black exits the ring and stalks his prey, grabbing the out cold body of Mini and carrying him back toward the ring like a duffel bag. He tosses Mini up and over the top rope, and he bounces to a stop near the middle of the ring. JB thumps his chest and points at Vinnie at his desk, shouting at him to watch what happens next, then pretends to shoot the XWF owner with a finger gun and blows the invisible smoke off of the barrel. JB heads back to pursue his quarry, dragging the lifeless body of Mini up on shaky legs… and Mini sneaks a roll up!






1!









































2!!








































JOHN BLACK BARELY KICKS OUT IN TIME!!!!


JB is PISSED that he almost got caught, and he tries to punt the tiny dictator out of the ring but misses and ends up kicking the turnbuckle instead. He grabs his hurt toe and hops up and down, giving Mini time to scale the ropes and leap off with a cross body plancha…


CAUGHT BY JB!!!


Black heaves Mini onto his shoulders and wastes no time throwing himself down and to the side, drilling Mini into the ring floor with a devastating Death Valley Driver, BLACKLISTED.

JB goes for a pin!







1!































2!!






































3!!!


Winner by Pinfall - John Black



Vinnie Lane: “JB with an impressive victory over the diminutive despot Mini Morbid! One thing you can always say about John Black is that he is ALL CLASS and always leads by example! A real role model for young people! He… huh? He’s doing what?


While Mini Morbid in the ring, someone hands Black a chain from the outside, and starts to strangle Mini Morbid with it. After Mini Morbid passes out, someone in hoodie comes into the ring with the Public Enemy Flag in their hand.

Black then takes the mic from the outside to speak.

"Mini Morbid, is nothing but an example of a Uncle Tom. A man once known as Morbid Angel, is now a former shell of his satanic ways. A little doll for the masses to throw away, and discard like yeast infection. As of right now, he's inducted to hall of Blackness.

The hooded man drapes the flag over Mini Morbid. Then stomps on him for good measure, then they both leave the ring with the booing them.


Vinnie Lane: “As I was saying, John Black is trash. Let’s take it to commercial while I write a strongly worded letter to Mrs. John Black Senior!”


Vinnie produces an actual typewriter from somewhere under his desk, then feeds in a sheet of paper before cracking his knuckles and beginning to type using only his index fingers.


Vinnie Lane: “Dear… sir… or… madam…”

DING!

The typewriter reaches the end of its ribbon just as the show fades to messages from the sponsors.


Bobbi London
- vs -
"The Amazing" Ashley Ackles
Internet Division Match!



Vinnie Lane: “Welcome back to Anarchy everyone! We are all set to see the next chapter in the ongoing rivalry between two of the XWF’s newest stars, self-professed super-heroine Ashley Ackles and Tenochtitlan Quetzalcoatl tight end Bobbi London! If you remember, Ackles debuted on the very first Anarchy and made her presence known after her partner in preventing crime Ruby took on Noah Jackson in the main event! A miscommunication led to Bobbi and her buddy Maxine hitting the ring to help out, but confusion reigned supreme as the four women saw themselves mixed up in a brawl…”


The X-Tron shows footage of Anarchy from April 18th:


Replay:In the ring, as Chaz Bobo holds Ruby’s hand aloft for the fans and rotates her in a circle in the middle of the ring, Noah Jackson has acquired a folding chair from ringside and slid in behind her. He winds up and slams the steel into the back of her head and neck, dropping the banana-lime girl in a pile and then slamming the chair into her over and over. The referee is shoved aside and Noah continues his assault, taking his frustrations out on the OG of PG.


Vinnie Lane: “Someone help the poor girl! This isn’t right! Where’s security at, don’t I pay people to keep this kind of thing from happening? Folks I’m getting told in my earpiece I do not. Fair enough, I’ll have to look into that… WAITAMINNIT WHO’S THIS!?!?!”


Running down the ramp is Ashley Ackles, the masked newcomer we saw earlier with Ruby. She sprints and slides into the ring, shoving Noah away and crouching down to protect her friend. Noah exits the ring and looks to make a hasty exist, but now the ramp is blocked by the big frames of Maxine and Bobbi London, two other fan favorites who’ve come to ringside to make the dastardly Noah Jackson atone for his sins.

Jackson rolls back into the ring just as Bobbi and Max get to the ringside area, and he sees Ashley distracted by checking on her friend. As Max climbs over the ropes Noah drives the steel chair into the back of Ashley… and then tosses it to Maxine! Max catches the chair and tries to catch Jackson, but he’s too quick to dive out the middle of the ropes and hop over the guard rail, escaping through the crowd.

Ashley, gripping her head, stands after a moment and turns to find Maxine and bobbi standing there, Max with a dented chair in her hands. Ackles is FUMING and she shoves the giantess with all her might. Ruby gets the cobwebs out then too, and sees her buddy in a struggle with the two women, then leaps in to defend her.

Vinnie Lane: “Ruby no! You’ve got it all wrong! Those ladies came to help you!”

Maxine just stands there stoically while Ashley keeps shoving her, but Bobbi is a bit of a hot head and can only take so much of Ruby yapping at her before she shoves her away with a palm to her forehead. Ashley jumps onto Bobbi then, clobbering her with rights and lefts until Max lifts her from behind with a big slam! All hell has broken loose between the four women as officials flood the ring to break them apart!


Vinnie Lane: “Then, last Anarchy, the Super Dear’Os of Ackles and Ruby teamed up to face off with Bobbi London and Maxine, who call themselves Mad Rhymes since Bobbi spits hot bars while Max drops a wicked beatbox. The match ended with the Dear’Os coming out victorious in a hard fought ordeal, but that match didn’t end without controversy either!”


Replay:Maxine drags the nearly lifeless body of Ruby up over her shoulder and grips her by the chin, setting her up for her devastating Maximum Overdrive Weapon X-style finishing maneuver. She holds her up and turns so the whole audience can see Ruby dangling there helplessly… and then Ackles crashes into her from behind with a diving elbow to the crown of Maxine’s head! Bobbi London is furious and charges into the ring, tackling Ackles and sending them both falling out of the ring to the concrete floor, but the damage is done. Max staggers off-balance and Ruby manages to leverage her position into a variant of a victory roll, pinning Max’s shoulders down and jackknifing her legs over top!




1!!

2!!

3!!



Winner by Pinfall - Ruby & Ashley Ackles



Vinnie Lane: “And that brings us to tonight… Bobbi is going one on one with “The Amazing” Ashley Ackles to try and even the score, and the powers-that-be (that’s me, dude!) have now declared that neither Ruby nor Maxine can be at ringside… or their partners will be immediately disqualified! Time for the action!”




“The Sickest C*nt” by Enkay1er begins to play as the lights turn up all through the arena. Bobbi emerges through the crowd, microphone in hand, but she stops…holding up her hand as she signals for the DJ to change up the beat. The lights turn on the Aussie native as the music drum line kicks in and she starts to rap…

“Hey YO, Xtreme Wrestling Federation it’s time to get REAL;
It’s yo’ girl Bobbi London and I’s full of sex appeal!
I’s came up in th’ place and you already know th’ deal;
Ashley Ackers ‘bout to get devoured like a fuckin’ ‘Appy Meal!”


The crowd explodes as Bobbi mentions her opponent as she continues making her way through the crowd. Many of the fans give her high fives and pat her on the back, even as they move to get out of the massive woman’s way.

“What th’ fuck is so amazing ‘bout that mask wearin’ freak?;
Is it cuz she think she’s cool, even tho she hangs out with a geek?
Let me tell yah’ somethin’ Ashley, and it will probably seem bleak;
You still won’t be able to chew solid food by this time next week!”


More “Oohs” and “Ahhs” come from the crowd as Bobbi is nearly to the ring. She stops at the barricade near the front row as she nearly walks right into a fan wearing an “Amazing” Ashley Ackles’s shirt and mask. The fan stands in Bobbi’s way, refusing to let her by and Bobbi balls up her fist, then spits into the mic…

“OH SNAP! I found Ackles’ only fan, but why she dressed like that?;
Twenty-dollars for that t-shirt that looks like a bloody potato sack!
Forty dollars for that mask that make yous look mad WHACK;
Yous better off spendin’ that sixty dollars in a back alley on CRACK!”

Bobbi moves aside the dejected fan as she hops the barricade and rolls into the ring, spitting one final verse…

“Ashy Ankles I just roasted yo’ only fan cuz ‘ow she be lookin’;
Now get yo’ ass out ‘ere and come get this bloody whoopin’!”

Bobbi tosses the microphone to the ring announcer and starts to Pop Lock terribly as the fans go wild.


Vinnie Lane: “WHOA! That was rad as heck! And here comes her opponent!”




Ashley Ackles comes out from backstage and she is all business. Her face is stern and she doesn’t take her eyes off of Bobbi London as she heads down the ramp, then springs up onto the apron and enters the ring, still wary of her opponent.

Vinnie Lane: “There’s just something about Ackles… I’m not sure she’s 100% on the up and up, you know? Then again, I didn’t think Ned Kaye should be in a Universal Title match, but no one listened to me, so I don’t expect anyone to start now!”


The bell sounds and as soon as Virginia Hymen steps back to start the match, Bobbi London charges across the ring toward Ackles. Ashley Ackles sidesteps, though, and Bobbi hits nothing but turnbuckle. This does nothing to slow the Wonder from Down Under though, as she turns around immediately and swings a big clotheslines at Ackles. Ackles ducks away and London catches nothing but empty air once again.

Ashley sends a hard boot into the gut of Bobbi London and then goes for a gutwrench suplex to folow up, but Bobbi clobbers her way free with a series of rapidfire back elbows to Ackles that staggers her backward. Bobbi takes the opportunity to spin into a discus forearm that takes Ackles off her feet, but when she tries to follow up with a leg drop Ackles rolls away in time. Ackles to her feet first and she hits a scintillating savate style kick across Bobbi’s back, then rounds in front of her and delivers another to her chest. Bobbi is sent supine and Ashley Ackles leaps into the air and comes crashing down with a huge elbow drop, making it hurt inside.

Ackles shouts for Hymen to hurry up and count, and she hooks a leg, but before Hymen can even drop a one count London has ferociously kicked out and rolled onto her belly to prevent another lateral press. Ackles jumps up and comes down hard on Bobbi’s back with a senton, but London shocks everyone with an extremely nimble and quick rollover, trapping Ackles in a body scissor and sinking a sleeper hold in under her chin! Ackles is struggling but she has nowhere to go and it looks like she will end up blacking out!

Ackles gives one last heave and uses her massive muscular thighs to push back, planting Bobbi’s shoulders down on the mat!


1!

























2!!







































Bobbi London lets go of the hold and rolls her shoulder up!


London doesn’t relent, though. She grabs a fist full of Ackles’ hair and pulls her to her feet, then licks her fist like it’s a candy apple and plants a knuckle sandwich right in her dicksucker, dropping Ackles in a heap. London grabs Ackles’ ankles and wishbones her, snapping her legs apart with a hop. Ackles grips her groin in pain as Bobbi lets go of one leg and drags Ashley around by the other, then raises an arm and drops a big elbow to the inside of Ackles’ thigh. Bobbi holds the ankle and torque’s Ackles’ knee, really putting the screws to her. Ackles flops backward and slaps at the mat in anguish, repeatedly having to sit up on her elbows to avoid being counted down by the official.

Bobbi keeps the heat on Ackles but it looks like she might be beginning to tire herself out by applying so much pressure. As she moves to readjust her position, Ackles manages to grab a bunch of her hair from behind and uses the leverage to flip her hips over Bobbi’s shoulder and stretches her arm out into an armbar! Bobbi knows she’s in trouble of Ackles flattens her out and she fights it all the way, getting first to her knees and then up to her feet while still with her arm trapped in Ashley Ackles’ incredibly powerful thigh meat. Bobbi puts her back into it, lifting Ackles off the mat and high overhead, then slams her down with a brutal sitout powerbomb! Bobbi holds on for a pinning predicament!


1!






























2!!

































Ackles kicks out! She slams her calf into Bobbi’s face, rolling the bigger girl away from her as she scrambles to her feet, and it gives her enough of an advantage to run at London and nail her with a diving clothesline. Ackles is pumped! She growls at Bobbi to get back up and when she eventually does she nails London with a standing big boot! London staggers and sways but remains standing, and even manages to throw a devastating right hand at Ackles before they both take a powder and drop to the canvas.

As Hymen begins a ten count, both women struggle to catch their breath and get a moment’s respite. Around six they both roll to their knees and start to stand, and both ladies are fully up to vertical bases right at the nine count. Ackles throws a wild haymaker but London blocks it and returns one of her own. Ackles tries again and once more is blocked, this time eating a big knife edge chop that gets the crowd WOOing loudly. Ackles is stunned, and Bobbi grabs her and sends her to the ropes in an Irish whip… reversed! Ackles sends Bobbi to the ropes and Bobbi leaves her feet on the rebound with a huge shoulder tackle - NO! Ackles saw it coming and spun Bobbi around in a big swinging powerslam that shakes the ring!


Vinnie Lane: “That’s impressive power! She caught Bobbi off guard for sure!”


Ackles looks to stay on top of Bobbi with a pin, but London frees herself after only two. Ackles looks frustrated in the ring at Bobbi’s resilience, and she heads to a corner where she begins untying the top turnbuckle pad while the referee is checking on London. Pulling the protective padding away and tossing it down to ringside, Ackles returns to Bobbi just as the Aussie is getting back up, and right away goes to whip her into that exposed corner.


Vinnie Lane: “No way, that’s not cool Ash!”

The feed shows a split screen of Maxine and Ruby standing shoulder to shoulder watching the match on a backstage monitor. As Ackles pulls off the turnbuckle pad, Max snaps her head toward Ruby and snarls with wide eyes while Ruby backpedals and raises her hands in capitulation. Ruby stammers and tries to explain that it must be an accident or faulty equipment and the split screen fades off leaving only the scene of Ackles looking to Irish whip Bobbi into exposed steel.

Bobbi puts on the brakes, though, and Ackles is stuck. Ackles tries again, but Bobbi is anchored to the middle of the ring and isn’t budging. Ackles takes a deep breath and grabs Bobbi with both hands, looking once more for a corner whip… and Bobbi grabs her with a bear hug! Bobbi has her trapped with both of her arms inside of her own, and she lifts Ashley Ackles off of her feet in the submission move. Ackles is kicking and screaming, but with no base to plant her leverage she’s essentially powerless. Bobbi trots around the ring with a smile as she squeezes the life out of Ackles, whipping her back and forth like a dog with a kitten in its jaws.

Suddenly, Ackles rears her head back and drives her forehead into the bridge of Bobbi’s nose. Bobbi drops Ackles and grabs her face which is quickly becoming a bloody waterfall as it looks like Ashley Ackles has broken Bobbi London’s nose. Ackles moves quick, grabbing Bobbi and lifting her into the gutwrench she failed at earlier, succeeding this time in turning her over and slamming her down in an impressive powerbomb. Ackles rolls over Bobbi and instead of going for a pin she stands and grabs London’s hand, pulling the plus sized powerhouse to her feet and then wrapping her arm around Bobbi’s blood-covered face, leaning her backward in position for a reverse DDT.


Vinnie Lane: “This is it folks! Bobbi needs medical attention anyway, Ashley is doing her a favor putting her away now!”


Ackles tries to lift Bobbi but can’t get her up. She tries again and gets her off the mat, but not all the way over as Bobbi is fighting every step of the way and swinging her legs wildly. Once Bobbi’s feet are back on the mat she braces and pushes back as hard as she can, sending Ackles flying backward and directly into the compromised turnbuckles! Ackles’ spine collides with the exposed steel in the corner and she staggers out, then falls flat on her back, sucking wind. The air clearly knocked right out of her lungs.

Bobbi London stands and wipes a big swath of blood from her face and flings it off of her hand onto the struggling Ackles. She then hits the nearside ropes and comes off with a little hip shaking dance… then drops a leaping leg drop right across the collarbone of Ashley Ackles!


Vinnie Lane: “The Moose Knuckle Shuffle! She nailed it! What, that’s not what it’s called? Dude we can edit that out… oh, we’re live… right…”


Bobbi London hooks Ackles by both legs, still keeping her weight on her opponent’s head and neck!


1!



























2!!















































3!!!!!


Vinnie Lane: “She did it! WOW what a hard fought win!”


Winner by Pinfall - Bobbi London



"Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
Vita Valenteen
Internet Division Match!!




The entire stadium goes black as "Burning Bright (Field on Fire)" by Nine Inch Nails begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Slowly stepping from the fog is none other then Notorious Ned Kaye. He stops for a moment, calming himself in front of the clamoring crowd. He lifts an arm, eyeing the stands to watch the many audience members who follow suit. With a single smile, he drops his arm and rushes towards the ring, slipping in from under the bottom rope, picking himself up immediately.




The opening riffs of “Highly Strung” by Orithani begin to play as the crowd jumps to their feet in excitement. Vita Valenteen runs out onto the stage and and postures for the adorning crowd. She makes her way down the ramp, slapping the outreached hands of her fans along the way. VV then heads up the steps and runs along the outside apron. She grabs the top rope with both hands and springboards into the ring where she tucks and rolls before settling on a couched, almost ninja like pose. VV hops up and celebrates with the fans for a moment, before turning and looking at her opponent.

Vinnie Lane: “Both competitors look ready to go, and there’s the bell!”

DING! DING!

Ned and Vita lock up in the center of the ring, with Kaye locking in a headlock on Valenteen. She moves them back and uses the ropes to throw him to the opposite side of the ring. Vita jumps up for a Hurricanrana, but Ned caught himself on the ropes. Valenteen then charges at her opponent who throws her over the ropes, but she lands on the apron. Kaye turns and gets hit with an Enzuigiri which backs him up. Vita then attempts a Springboard Dropkick, but Ned Kaye steps aside.

Vinnie Lane: "Ned dodges Vita's trademark Eat Defeat dropkick! Fast paced, just like we expected from these two."

Vita Valenteen quickly gets to her feet and the two circle the ring. Ned reaches for VV, who ducks under his arms and gets behind him. She wraps her arms around Kaye, who delivers a few elbows which force her to let go. Ned runs at her and attempts a Bicycle Kick, but she side steps and delivers a Neckbreaker. She quickly covers Ned.


1...........................



Vinnie Lane: "A quick kickout by Notorious Ned Kaye. Gonna take more than that to put him away."

Vita backs away, allowing her opponent to get to his feet. She then attempts a Backspring Elbow, but Ned manages to catch her and use the momentum for a Backdrop.

Vinnie Lane: "Oh wow, what a counter by Ned Kaye! These two have been nonstop back and forth since the bell!"

Instead of covering, Ned waits for Vita to get to her knees and he attempts a Superkick, which she ducks. As Ned completes a 360 from his kick, Valenteen quickly hops to her feet and hits Kaye with her own Superkick, which actually connects and sends Ned to the mat. VV then runs to the ropes, jumps on the second one, and flips onto Ned Kaye for a sexy looking Asai Moonsault, staying on him for the cover.


1.................................






































2..................................................


















KICKOUT!


Vinnie Lane: "Close call there. Luckily for Vita, it looks like she's in control now."

Valenteen stands up and motions for a Canadian Destroyer. She puts Ned's head between her legs, but before she can do anything, he flips her over his body and onto the mat. Vita gets up and is met with a fast Clothesline by Ned. He takes a moment to collect himself while she begins to stir.

Vinnie Lane: "Ned might wanna take advantage of his opponent while she's still down."

Ned Kaye sees VV starting to get up and quickly puts an end to that with a Dropkick. He then lifts his opponent up and Vertical Presses her over his head. He walks over to a corner and slams her down hard onto the mat.

Vinnie Lane: “One of the few times Ned has a size AND strength advantage over his opponent.”

Kaye climbs out onto the apron and makes his way to the top rope. He then jumps off, attempting a Double Stomp, but Valenteen rolls out of the way. This causes Ned to land hard onto his legs, dropping to a knee in pain. Vita climbs onto the apron herself and when Ned stands up, she hits him with a Springboard Dropkick.

Vinnie Lane: “Eat Defeat! Vita hits it this time and quickly covers!”


1..........................................































2.....................................................................









































KICKOUT!

Vita wastes no time, locking in a headlock on Ned. They stay in this position for a bit, as she tries to wear him down.

Vinnie Lane: “Smart move by Valenteen trying to slow the pace down a bit.”

As she keeps his arms locked, Ned begins to fight his way up. He rises to a knee, delivering a couple elbows to Vita's gut. They both finally get to their feet and Ned hits a hard knee to Valenteen's stomach again, causing her to let go this time. Kaye takes advantage of this, Leg Sweeping Valenteen so she falls back first to the mat.

Vinnie Lane: “Wait a second....... Big D is coming down the aisle and he's got a chair!”

Big D heads for the ring, Ned Kaye not noticing him at first. Big D swings at Ned, but he sees at the last second and ducks. D does a full spin and gets met with a Van Daminator to the face! He drops down and rolls to the floor, grabbing his head in pain.

Vinnie Lane: “NOT the result Big D had hoped for!”

Vita takes advantage of D's distraction, whipping Ned Kaye to the ropes. Ned manages to reverse it and toss Valenteen instead, bending down. On the rebound, VV jumps over Kaye for a Sunset Flip, but she can't quite bring him down. A smart thinking Ned drops down onto her face, grabbing her legs for leverage as the ref counts.


1​!
















































2​!!






















































3!!!!!!!



Winner by Pinfall - "Notorious" Ned Kaye



Ned Kaye gets off of VV after his win, only to get attacked from behind by Big D. We see Big D was busted open from Ned's move, as the blood drips down his angry face. He gets on top of Kaye and begins to hammer him. Vita Valenteen goes over to D to get him to stop, only to get hit with a Clothesline.

Vinnie Lane: “Vita just wanted to calm D down and paid for it.”

Big D walks back over to Ned and picks him up, before bringing him down for a Dan Slam. He laughs at Kaye, before dragging him outside the ring.

Vinnie Lane: “Oh no, Big D doesn't look finished yet! He's looking to give his team a leg up for War Games!”

Big D takes the rag dolled Indy hero to the ring post and wraps his arms around his waist. As fans scream in horror, Big D delivers a nasty looking German Suplex to Ned Kaye against the post. He looks down at his foe as medics and officials run out to block him off from Kaye.

Big D: “There's your Indy darling! Right where he belongs!”

An official begins to lead Big D to the back, who obliges with a series of evil laughter. He disappears behind the curtain as Ned Kaye receives assistance.


Vinnie Lane: “This has been a CRAZY night so far! Let’s get our last commercial break out of the way before our exciting conclusion tonight! Trust me, you aren’t going to want to miss this!”



Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Ruby



“RUBY RUBY RUBY RUBY!!!!”




The Kaiser Chiefs’ tones blast out and the XWF’s resident superhero jumps from out of the ground through an opening, being propelled a couple of feet into the air by a subfloor springboard.

Vinnie Lane: "DUDE!"

She electrifies the crowd, getting them all pumped up for the match to come before sprinting down the aisle at top speed and sliding underneath the bottom rope and into the ring so fast she almost slides through the bottom ropes at the other end. She rolls through, kips up and hops onto the mid turnbuckles to address the crowd, who are eating it up.

She reach the back of her head and tears off her mask…

Vinnie Lane: "DUDE!"

...only to reveal a second pair underneath. She sees a young fan in the front row and throws it at her. The kid happily catches it and wraps it around her head. Ruby gives her a thumbs up and a quick flex, but that’s all the time the producers will grant her before God Saves the Queen begins to play!

Sitting on her throne, Sarah flashes the Billion $$$ Smile, and she takes up her mic again.

Sarah: Oh, and ANOTHER thing! I am going to take Trash Panda’s head and shove it SO FAR up her own assbackside-

She waits expently.

Yeah, gettin’ no sold.

Sarah: I SAID SO FAR UP HER OWN ASSBACKSIDE

Crowd: HOW FAR?!

Sarah: SO FAR that she’s be able to- OMG NOOO-

Ruby flies through the air! Sarah’s eyes go wide as the hero of the masses, that savior of the victimized, has had ENOUGH of Sar’s bullshitshirt today! She collides with Sarah, knocking her from her throne and sending her crown, Federweight Championship, and cape to the floor.

Vinnie Lane: "DUDE!"

Ruby grins and holds her hands up to the delight of the crowd before sliding back into the ring. A furious Sarah gets up and Ruby runs the ropes again, looking for a suicide dive! But Sarah has her spotted and rolls to the side. Ruby however has a keen eye and as she jumps, she counters herself by jumping on the top rope instead, backflipping and landing on her feet in the middle of the ring. She does a mocking ‘curtsey’ to the ‘Queen of Anarchy’, who is absolutely livid.

But Ruby does the polite thing and allows Sarah some time to get into the ring.

*DING DING DING*

The Red Queen rushes at Ruby who dodges her clothesline attempt by ducking underneath, rolling through and kipping up, twisting in mid-air and landing inside a corner. Ruby drapes her arms over the ropes in a relaxing pose, mocking Lacklan even further.

Vinnie Lane: "DUDE!"

As Sarah turns around slowly, Ruby rushes at HER this time, but is caught with a drop-toehold. The superhero tries to recover but is met with a devastating TOTES! Kick to the back of the head that almost knocks Ruby’s lights out.

Sarah then grounds and pounds Ruby, mounting her and unleashing a flurry of blows to strip Ruby’s defences in preparation for something greater. The banana-lime girl throws up her forearms to defend against Lacklan’s blows, but the deceptively strong Federweight Champion keeps hammering until she manages to punch Ruby in the face with a straight right, snapping her head back against the canvas.

The referee intervenes, dragging Lacklan off of her opponent to check on her health. Ruby gives a quick nod that she’s okay to continue, but her bell has clearly been rung. Smiling with clear malice, Sarah moves in on Ruby as soon as the ref gets out of her way, but her eyes go wide as a Super Boot connects with her perfectly prim nose! An upkick from the grounded hero caught Sarah square, and the Palest Hands on Either Coast go up to make sure that there wasn’t a break. The Icon of Pandas Everywhere gets back to her feet, her eyes still glazed from Sarah’s strikes, but then rushes forward. Sarah does the same, and the two both go for competing clotheslines, both missing on another. And then-

Vinnie Lane: "DUUUUUUUDE!"

Vinnie’s prose is the only thing that could adequaltely describe what happened to the home audience. After both missing clotheslines, both immediately stopped their weight and set their feet before leaping backward. The result was…

….potentially for the first time ever in wrestling history, as Vinnie just explained in great detail….

...a double Pele Kick that say them somehow kick each other in the face at the same time.

Vinnie Lane: "Dude! Dude dude!"

The boss’s lengthy explanation of how that actually happened in the physical realm takes up a full 8-count from the referee, the two women both knocked silly by one another. The crowd is cheering wildly for this face-paced match, and perhaps too loudly, for once getting to her feet, Ruby stops to regard them. She smiles and waves, not seeing Sarah dashing forward! A kick to her raised arm stuns her, and a slow roundhouse to her midsection knocks the wind out of her. Sarah runs in the opposite direction and hits the ropes, rebounding and leaping into the air.

Vinnie Lane: "Dude!"

She pushes her fist forward, looking for the Cop Kil-

Vinnie Lane: "DUUUUUUDE!"

Just as Sarah pushed forward with the Superman Punch, Ruby leaped up and caught Sarah by the back of her head and brought them both downward with a cutter into the mat.

Vinnie Lane: "Dude! Dude! Dude!"

Yes, Vinnie, yes. Ruby did NOT get all of that Ruby Cutter. Sarah is dazed, but has enough wherewithal to roll away, all the way to the outside. As she tries to recover, Ruby is back to her feet in the center of the ring and is jumping up and down, waving her arms wildly, willing for the Firestarter to stand back up as the crowd cheers her on. Sarah groggily gets to her feet, heavy on her legs, with her eyes glazed over. Ruby runs against the far ropes and rebounds, leaping into the air as she gets to the ropes, flying completely over them. She flips in midair, looking for the Tope Con Hero! She connects!

Wait!

Sarah dove forward at the last second!

AND DROVE HER HEAD INTO THE GROUND WITH THE ABYSS!

Vinnie Lane: “DUDE! DUDE DUDE DUDE!”

As Vinnie finds himself apoplectic, the crowd groans deeply, everyone wondering who got the worst from that fall, either Sarah being crushed under Ruby’s Tope Con Hero, or Ruby landing headfirst because of Sarah’s desperation counter Abyss.

1!

2!

3!

The ref is counting them both out!

4!

5!

6!

They are slowly getting to their feet!

7!

8!

The are up! They look at each other, their eyes wide!

9!

They both dive for the ring!

10!

*DING DING DING*


Winner - DOUBLE COUNT OUT



Vinnie Lane: "DUDE! That was awesome! I was like totally at a loss for words or something! Something tells me these two are NOT finished with each other… but there’s no more time for them right now, we need to get to tonight’s MAIN EVENT!”


Noah Jackson
- vs -
Kuda
No DQ!




Kuda sullenly walks down the ramp, he ignores the fans, doesn't even bop his head to his theme.

VINNIE LANE: "Kuda looking a little distracted tonight. Perhaps losing a friend could be his downfall here or will it stoke the flames?"


Noah walks out onto the ramp looking pretty pissed off. He eyeballs Kuda in the ring, not taking his eyes off his opponent as he enters the ring and waits in his corner.

VINNIE LANE: "Actually when the hell did they become friends? We never saw that!"

NOAH JACKSON: "We have lives outside of your show, cunt!"

VINNIE LANE: "No you don't!"

Noah spits in Lane's direction and looks back to Kuda, the ref stands between the two. Kuda cracks his neck, his fallen face now turned to unbridled rage as he fidgets waiting to pounce. Noah just mean-mugs Kuda throwing a few unique obscenities towards his opponent. A drop of sweat drips down the ref's face and he calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

Immediately the two sprint towards one another with a roar and Kuda clatters Jackson with raw power, knocking the Aussie down but Noah springs back to life and gives a shove to Kuda who doesn't budge, Noah panics a little but before he can react The Man Before Time comically clubs the top of Noah's head and knocks the Melbourne Motormouth to his knees, Jackson holds the top of his head as he drunkenly stumbles up to his feet, Kuda grabs Noah from behind and the Anarchic Australian throws wild elbows to Kuda's face as he kicks wildly but The Iceman shrugs off these strikes and hurls Noah across the ring with a German suplex!

VINNIE LANE: "I think Noah saw the curvature of the Earth from that suplex!"

Noah bounces off the canvas and holds his ribs in pain, Kuda quickly gets to his feet and stomps over to his fallen opponent but before Kuda reaches him, Noah rolls under the ropes and flops to the outside. Kuda gets closer to the ropes and goes to exit but Noah leaps up with a burst of energy and rakes Kuda's eyes! Kuda stumbles back in pain with his hands over his eyes. Noah quickly goes under the apron and grabs a steel chair!

Which he hurls into the ring to hit a blind Kuda!

He goes back underneath and grabs trash can, which is hurled once more at Kuda!

VINNIE LANE: "Jackson is treating Kuda like a duck at a shooting gallery!"

With a fist pump after a good hit with the trash can, Noah goes back under and after a few seconds retrieves a small black bag with an 'oooh' from the crowd. Noah slides into the ring with the black bag in his hand and pour the contents onto the mat with a pop from the crowd.

VINNIE LANE: "IT'S ... Lego bricks?"

The rainbow of lego pour onto the mat and Noah scatters them with his hand, Kuda shakes the cobwebs and charges Noah as he is bent over and nails Jackson with a heavy knee to the gut, Noah causes himself to fall onto of the lego but lifts his torso slightly so not to hit the bricks, he keeps an eye on Kuda as he lifts his leg ready to stomp Noah's spine. BUT NOAH ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!

VINNIE LANE: "Kuda just stomped his bare foot onto the lego! Everyone knows that sucks!"

With a gasp of horror from the crowd, Kuda hops around on one foot holding his foot in agony, gingerly flicking a few lego bricks from off the sole of his foot. Noah kneels up and taps his temple before going behind Kuda and rolling him up, sneakily holding Kuda's tights. The ref slides for the count.

1








...











2














.....






















KICKOUT!

The two fall away from each other and Noah rolls and runs towards the ropes, Kuda quickly hops to one leg, Noah returns and leaps in a sprint!

VINNIE LANE: "Crack the Shits!"

COUNTERED!

As Kuda throws the steel chair down onto a mid-air Noah! Jackson crumples to the mat struggling to breathe. Kuda lifts the chair high and crashes it back down onto Noah's head!

And again!

And again!!

AND AGAIN!!!

Noah's forehead splits and blood pours down his face and spills onto the mat! Noah splutters the blood from his mouth as he tries to gain his bearings. Kuda tosses the heavily dented chair aside and heads to the corner with a pop from the crowd, Kuda sizes up Noah as he slowly begins to stand up.

VINNIE LANE: "Kuda looking for the MAMMOTH KILLER!"

Noah stands in a daze and turns as Kuda leaps!

But Noah with quick reflexes ducks and tosses big man with an arm drag across the ring!

Kuda bounces off the canvas and rolls to his feet, he spins on his heel and turns to a run but is met with Jackson's foot!

VINNIE LANE: "CRACK THE SHITS! Noah gets it this time!"

Jackson scrambles for the cover!

1












....
























2


































....




























THR-NO!

Kuda throws Jackson away with a huge amount of strength! Kuda sits up out of breath, Jackson growls in anger and grabs a handful of lego! AND BEGINS GRINDING THEM ON KUDA'S FACE! The crowd chant.

"YOU SICK FUCK! YOU SICK FUCK! YOU SICK FUCK!"

VINNIE LANE: "... I've lost hope in this place."

After a few minutes of torturing the prehistoric phenomenon and small trickles of blood run down Kuda's face. Noah decides he's had enough and tosses the bricks into the crowd.

Kuda dabs at the blood still in a seated position, Jackson grabs the trash can and places it over Kuda's upper body before taking a step back and delivering a spinning heel kick to the can!

The clang rings out across the arena and Kuda falls to the mat, the trash can rolling away. Jackson taunts to the crowd and heads to the top turnbuckle! He looks behind him and begins to leap!

VINNIE LANE: "WORLD'S . GREATEST . MOONSAULT!!"

But Kuda with a second wind quickly gets to his feet and catches Jackson mid-air!

VINNIE LANE: "EPOCH ENDING! EPOCH ENDING!!!"

Kuda locks in the stretch muffler and throws kicks at the back of Jackson's head whilst Noah howls in agony, flailing like a madman in the hold!

Noah quickly throws his body back and forth to unbalance Kuda but the bigger man keeps the hold locked in tight.

Jackson gets a hand on the ropes and begs the ref to call for Kuda to release the hold but to no avail due to it being no DQ.

Jackson holds into the rope as blood continues to drip to the mat, his arms quivering in intense agony.

But the Aussie refuses to yield! He pulls Kuda close with his legs and uses his spare arm to throw a glancing jab at Kuda's jaw!

Kuda stumble back but keeps in the lock. Noah tries again, getting more of Kuda's jaw with the strike!

Once again Kuda stumbles but still won't release the hold!

Noah tries again but this time jabs a thumb deep into Kuda's eye!!!

VINNIE LANE: "NOAH'S FREE!"

Kuda falls away, holding his eye as Noah drops to the mat, huddling against the ropes trying to hold back tears of pain. Noah looks to Kuda, his eye going a bright purple as it swells. Kuda looks to a bloodied and beaten Noah with his one good eye.

The two stare at one another as the crowd cheers them on, both men out of breath. Noah gets himself up using the ropes as a crutch and wobbles to his feet. Kuda makes tepid steps to meet Noah in the center of the ring.

The crowd get hype.

The two meet, jaw-jacking one another as they get face to face both shouting at each other and getting in each others faces. Noah pushes Kuda!

Then Kuda shoves Jackson!

Noah rolls his jaw and returns!

... With a hug?

Kuda stands there for a minute before his bottom lip quivers and hugs Noah back! And in a rare instance, both men are met with an 'aww' and cheers as the two competitors hug it out.

The two put an arm around each other and talk to the ref, after a confusing conversation the ref shrugs and calls for the bell.


Winner by... Friendship? DRAW



The back together best friends walk to the ropes Kuda holding down the middle rope for Noah who thankfully accepts and the two take their leave to a few cheers from the crowd.

VINNIE LANE: "Well, what started off as some kind of blood feud ended in a beautiful reconciliation. Only in the XWF."


After the main event, rather than throwing back to Vinnie Lane at ringside, the “Loverboy” gets up and walks to the ring. He enters with a microphone as crewmen set up two small tables behind him with velvet cloths covering something underneath each one.

Vinnie Lane: “Hey everyone! I hope you liked the show tonight! Before I send you all home, I wanted to finally unveil what all the great people of XWF Anarchy are waiting for… what they’re here to compete for… and we’re going to make it HUGE.”

The crowd goes nuts as Vinnie walks toward one of the two tables, placing his hand on the covering with a smile.


Vinnie Lane: “First… this is a unique thing to the Anarchy brand, and I’m happy to announce we are getting right to it on the next episode of Anarchy, LIVE from Laramie, Wyoming… we are going to have a TRIPLE THREAT match for THIS!”


[Image: lhy4hTb.png]


The crowd pops as Vinnie reveals the gleaming title belt on the table and then holds it aloft.


Vinnie Lane: “This beaut is the BRAND NEW XWF Internet Championship, exclusive to our Anarchy brand! BUT… we WILL be seeing Anarchy represented on July 28th… when XWF presents LEAP OF FAITH!”

Another huge reaction from the crowd. Vinnie places the title back on the small table and pats it.


Vinnie Lane: “See, next Anarchy we’ll be crowning the first Internet Champion… and their first defense will be at Leap of Faith in July. Also happening at leap of faith? Well dude, I’m so glad you asked! Because in between then and now, we will be having a small tournament… and the winner of said tournament will be facing XWF’s Queen of Anarchy, Sarah Lacklan, at Leap of Faith… for THE XWF ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP!”


Vinnie whips off the second table cover with a flourish, and the crowd gasps in awe at the shining title belt sitting beneath it.


[Image: PagksUn.png]

Vinnie Lane: “That’s right, at Leap of Faith, there will be not one but TWO Anarchy title matches along with the rest of the rad action we’ll see that night, as this will be one of two cross-brand MEGAshows! Now, as far as who’s going to be in contention? I guess you’ll have to wait and see! Goodnight everybody!”


Vinnie waves to the crowd and grabs the Anarchy Championship, holding it high overhead for the cameras as Anarchy fades out to black.





SPECIAL THANKS

Big D
Noah Jackson
Sarah Lacklan

For getting me some bad ass matches!

[Image: dR5ZguS.png]
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XWF FanBase:
Hardly anyone to be honest

(booed by most fans; hurts people even when not supposed to; often angry and shitty)


Post: #2
05-16-2019 08:16 PM

[Image: oWdnpS2.jpg]

[Image: MU7Haoq.png]
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[-] The following 2 users Like Noah Jackson's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (05-17-2019), Drew Archyle (05-17-2019)
Lacklan Offline
Solid Worker
****
TITLE - Federweight Champion



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


Post: #3
05-16-2019 09:15 PM

(05-16-2019 08:16 PM)Noah Jackson Said:  [Image: oWdnpS2.jpg]

*sheds tear over the beauty of this moment*


XWF Accolades
  • 2019 King of the Ring winner
  • Star of the Month (March 2019)
  • Federweight Champion (x1)
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[-] The following 1 user Likes Lacklan's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (05-17-2019)
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