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**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · (05-02-2019)

LIVE!!!

FROM THE YUENGLING CENTER IN TAMPA, FLORIDA!

John Rogan
- vs -
Mini Morbid

Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Kuda

"Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
John Black

Vita Valenteen
- vs -
Reggie "The Sandman" Martin
Internet Division Match!

EDWARD
- vs -
Noah Jackson

Ruby & "Amazing" Ashley Ackles
- vs -
Bobbi London & Maxine
Internet Division Match!

After the camera zips around the arena capturing the eager faces of the thousands of XWF fans in attendance, it centers on the lone visage of “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane as he sits behind his ringside desk tapping a pen along to the beat of the Sex Pistols. Once the theme music fades away enough he smiles wide for the home audience.

Vinnie Lane: “Welcome back to ANARCHY! It’s gonna be a wild one folks! We’ve got… huh? What the heck?”

The lights in the Yuengling Center go dark and the Florida crowd mills in silence, wondering what is about to befall them in this very SECOND edition of Anarchy. Then a small spotlight appears on the stage where two men in marching band uniforms walk out, each carrying a herald trumpet. The men lift the horns to their mouths and play a bright fanfare, notes loud and high, filled with pride.

After the fanfare, the two men step aside as “God Save the Queen” plays across the P.A. The crowd remains confused as the curtain on the stage is opened wide and four large men come out, each holding a pole beneath a mammoth red and black throne which glitters in the light with gold. But the confusion makes way for cheers as the mystery is solved, for the person sitting her #SquatBooty on the throne is none other than Sarah Lacklan.

And the crowd LOSES THEIR SHIT

Crowd: YOU ARE OUR GOD *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*

YOU ARE OUR GOD *CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP-CLAP*

Sarah smiles and waves as the four men bring her down to ringside. Dressed in a red robe and cape, the XWF King of the Ring crown upon her head and long black and red scepter in her free hand, with the Federweight Championship across her shoulder, the albino is a glittering diamond slowly being carried down the aisle. As they get to the ring, they lower Sarah and her throne down to the ground at ringside, and a nameless/faceless XWF employee hands the Blood Princess a microphone.

Sarah: HIIIII-iiiiiii! My name is Sarah Lacklan-

She pauses to show off her Billion $$$ smile and the crowd plays their part:

Crowd: MAR-KET-ING GEEEEENIUUUUUUUS!

Sarah: And I am YOUR-

She points to the crown on her head.

Sarah: QUEEN of the Ring! And! AND! YOUR-

She points to the title belt on her shoulder.

Sarah: Federweight Champion! That’s right, all you Fang Gangers out there, it has been WELL over two WEEKS since I beat up Ol’ Fatty for this thing and NO ONE has ever TRIED to take it from me, because, dubs, they’d get squished like a bug. Obvs. Now, as you can see from my LAVISH and EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE throne, YOUR Queen of Anarchy is here to watch some matches! That’s right, I will be here ALL NIGHT LIGHT and studying the various members of MY roster, because we will EVENTUALLY get a championship of our own that I will beat someone up to win! Now, I’m not SAYING that Vinnie has expressly told me that I get to CHOOSE who I am going to beat up at some future event, but there ARE rumors to that effect. People ARE talking about it. A LOT of people. And then after that, I’ll beat up Mr. I Suddenly Don’t Care About My Match So That I Have An Excuse for the Job I’m Doing Tonight, and then BLAMO! Back onto my throne for the so-called “main event” featuring a couple of AMAZING competitors...and some dumb trash panda and her shitty friend. Let’s get this thing started!

Vinnie Lane: “WELP that’s totally insane. I guess Sarah Lacklan is going to be watching the whole show from that big throne thing over there. Hey Sar! Tell Rox I said hi!”

Sarah waves back from her throne with a smile.

Vinnie Lane: “I don’t think she can actually hear me… this could be fun… HEY SARAH! OLIVE JUICE!”

Sarah’s expression turns to one of shock and embarrassment, and she quickly pretends to have been busy looking at her phone the whole time.

Vinnie Lane: “Ha. Got ‘er. Let’s not take any more time for pomp and circumstance though, we’ve got an action-packed show for you all out there in the XWF Galaxy… take it to the ring!”

John Rogan
- vs -
Mini Morbid

The lights go out…the crowd screams with anticipation for who is to enter! The rhythmic drumming sounding like a battle march gets louder. The lights slowly come on turning the arena red.

Double bass starts drilling as Aeon’s - God Gives Head in Heaven roars over the loud speakers!

Mni Morbid Angel storms from the backstage area and flexes his massive arms for the crowd who screams with excitement!

Mini Morbid stomps down to the ring and steps over to the top rope and walks to the center of the ring and flexes again!

Vinnie Lane: “Isn’t he adorable? I just want to put a collar on him and keep him in my back yard…”

The lights dim, the excitement settles in the arena, Enter Sandman by Metallica blares, as the lights begin to pulsate. Onto the stage appears a silohuette of John Rogan, his arms out to the sides. As the drumming begins, the e-wrestling veteran walks towards the ring, the fans cheering, the lights pulsating. Once he reaches the ring, he slides in under the bottom rope, he throws his arms in the air walking around the ring.

At the sound of the bell, Mini Morbid immediately flings himself onto the face of John Rogan. Mini digs his fingers and ankles into Rogan’s skull, clinging and scratching for all he’s worth as he rams his head into the bridge of Rogan’s nose over and over. Rogan pries him off and tosses him into a corner, but when he tries to follow up with a charging big boot, Mini easily slides out of the way and Rogan ends up with his leg stuck between the ropes.

Vinnie Lane: “John Rogan is always a game fighter, but the size difference here isn’t something the big man thought through… and who would blame him? Most people think fighting a smaller opponent is easier, but someone like Mini Morbid was forged in steel. It’s like trying to fight a housecat… with all your dangly bits exposed!”

Mini Morbid races into the back of Rogan’s plant leg head first, buckling the big man’s knee. He then scampers up onto the second rope and dives off, landing a child-sized leg drop across the back of Rogan’s neck. Then, he dives onto Rogan’s calf and sinks his teeth into the flesh of his ankle.

Vinnie Lane: “Mini Morbid is literally biting John Rogan’s ankle here folks! Referee Lawanda Sass ain’t having any of it though, dude, because she’s a strong black woman who ain’t got time for it!”

Sass drags Mini off of Rogan and admonishes him, allowing John Rogan time to get himself out of the predicament he’d found himself in. Mini rushes between Lawanda Sass’s legs and runs toward Rogan, but Rogan lifts his foot up in the air and brings it down with a heavy stomp! Caught! Mini Morbid catches the rapidly falling foot and strains every muscle in his mini body to hold it up and off of him. Morbid’s body trembles from the effort, and eventually he succumbs and is pressed to the mat with John Rogan’s entire mass holding him down and his massive boot squeezing into his torso.

Vinnie Lane: “I think the little guy is trying to say something, dude”

As Mini Morbid squirms under the heavy foot of John Rogan, referee Lawanda Sass asks for a microphone and holds it up close to Mini’s mouth to try and figure out what he’s saying.

Mini Morbid: “mmmMore… WEIGHT!”

And with that, Mini lunges upward and tosses the foot off of him, knocking Rogan backwards off balance. Rogan staggers, and Mini leaps into the air in order to attack him… RIGHT INTO THE END RESULT!!!

Rogan’s big claymore kick connects and Mini Morbid is sent crashing to the canvas. Rogan jumps on top of him and hooks his itty bitty leg.

1!!

2!!

3!!!!!!!!

Winner by Pinfall - John Rogan

John Rogan celebrates in the ring as Mini Morbid opens a portal to the negative zone and exits the dimension.

Vinnie Lane: “I’m being told that cameras caught up to John Black earlier in the evening and that he had some strong words for his opponent here… let’s send it to the production truck, fellas…”

[The scene opens up to Black in the locker room, with a towel over his head. He sits down on the chair, then eyes on the camera.]

"I told you all before, that I had been screwed by the man in my life. No, i'm not talking about Becky Lynch, i'd dis-fuck-her any day of the week. No, seriously I am on a mission here to night with the future Universal Champion, Ned. I am up against a man, who's deserves all the accolades and what have you, hell I will give this rookie some motherfucking props.

Just years ago, I was like him. Hungry, inspired, willing to take risks, and dealing the constant ideals of being held down by management. Me and him at one point are the same, but after all, he's a white man who benefits from white supremacy. Before anyone gets offended, then go watch the War Games banter.

Tonight, Ned is going to experience a beatdown in his life. He might have a shot at the Universal Champion on Warfare, but that was supposed to be me in line for a World Title here, years ago. Only Black Man i've seen hold the Universal Strap is Trax, where is he now?

Oh right, he left due to not having anything else to prove here.

But, he managed to kiss a lot of asses to get ahead here, I was fool for taking Shane's offer of being in fabled Black Circle. I know that me harping on the fact those two white boys never showed up to defend those belts; is all dated and played out. But fuck it...

Ned, you're going to not walk out here tonight. You will end up beyond destroyed, and rendered moot. You're going to experience a pain, that you never had to endure in your Indie days before you signed your name in blood here in XWF.

I don't care if I win or lose, i wanna kill you."

[The scene fades into the next segment.]

Vinnie Lane: “Wow, I haven’t seen JB this fired up since catering brought us crab legs backstage in 2014! My man is READY! I hope Ned is, because if he think’s I’m letting some scrub be my champion he’s in for a rude awakening. I’m sure John will show him a thing or two about expectations here in the XWF!”

"Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
John Black

“Notorious” Ned Kaye emerges from the back with his hands over his head, and the crowd pops like crazy. He makes his way to the ring slowly looking like he’s not used to such a big reaction.

Vinnie Lane: “Ned Kaye has really taken the XWF by storm in recent weeks. After making his debut at March Madness in a forgettable role, he’s looking at a Universal Championship opportunity less than a week from now! Tonight he wants to prove he deserves that shot and he’s hoping to use a good performance against a wily veteran to do just that.”

The lights goes down, and smoke starts to rise out of the entrance way. Then the drum kicks in, and the lights come back on and we see JB walking down the entrance, as he heads to the ramp he talks smack to the camera. He then rolls into the ring, and goes to the middle buckle puts his fist in the air. Then he gets towards the middle of the ring and waits.

Vinnie Lane: “JB is an old friend of mine, dude. The guy is a class act. He didn’t come out on top last Anarchy, but I have been on the road with this man and I know you can never count him out.”

The two men meet in the middle of the ring and shake hands as the bell sounds. Kaye backs up a step and looks to be ready for a boxing match the way he hops on his feet and bobs his head. Black advances toward him with his hands up, seeming to challenge Kaye to a standard test of strength, which the fans are behind. Though Black is a tad shorter than Kaye, he has a lot more meat on his bones. He’s easily able to move the slender rookie backwards until he’s got his back pressed against the ropes, shoving him outward until he’s bent awkwardly out over the top rope with referee Chaz Bobo starting a five count.

Black backs off at three, holding his hands up in the air as if showing the cop who pulled him over that he had nothing threatening in his grip. Kaye charges him and locks up a second time, using his inertia to stagger Black backwards a step or two, but JB steadies himself and pushes hard, sending Kaye in a backward somersault onto the canvas.

Vinnie Lane: “Ned isn’t going to win a brute force fight with John Black, ladies and gentlemen. You’d think a guy vying for the biggest prize in this sport would be smarter than that, but here we are. See back when I was in the ring, I knew to use my strengths and hide my weaknesses. If I was in the ring with JB, I’d use my quicks, not my muscles.”

In the ring, as if Vinnie had spoken to Ned telepathically, Kaye eschews another direct lock up and instead hits the ropes. JB throws a clothesline but Kaye is easily able to duck under. When JB turns around to follow Kaye, he eats a mouthful of flying forearm for his trouble. Black bumps to the mat heavily and Kaye only lets him get to one knee before dropping him once more with an enzuigiri.

Vinnie Lane: “Yeah… exactly like that. Cool.”

Kaye doesn’t relent, snaring JB in a front chancery as the veteran struggles to his feet. Kaye keeps him bent over and sends a series of organ-destroying knee lifts into Black’s midsection. Black manages to grab onto Kaye’s leg in self defense and lifts Ned up and over in a desperation backdrop driver, but by the time he sucks a couple of deep breaths of air into himself to calm his diaphragm he is only able to get a one count with a weak pin attempt.

Both men find their feet and JB manages to strike first, catching Ned off guard with a simple front kick into the abdomen. Seeing no need to get flashy, Black leans back into the ropes and uses the added momentum to come back with an even stiffer kick to the bent over Kaye, catching him right across the chest with his shin. Kaye is dazed and Black looks to save some of his endurance for later on with his woman by ending things. He lifts Kaye onto his shoulders and racks him, moving to swing him into a DDT but Ned adjust his positioning and comes off onto his feet. He sends a hard right hand into JB’s dome and then hits the ropes, flying off of them with a jumping lariat, but now it’s his turn to get caught.

Black snags Kaye out of the air and returns him to the rack position but only for a moment as he slings Kaye’s body around into a hard DDT before Ned can get his bearings.

Vinnie Lane: “He called that The Rawkus Driver and it’s devastating! Black’s got the leg hooked!”

1!!

2!!

Ned kicks out, and Black looks like he might be running out of steam. His forehead is busted open and blood is running freely down his face from under a bandage he’d worn to the ring.

Vinnie Lane: “It looks like the wounds JB suffered last time on Anarchy against the neanderthalish Edward are playing a factor here… I think their heads might have collided in that last exchange and it’s costing Black right now!”

JB pulls Ned to a vertical base by the hair, but when he throws a wild haymaker the quick young upstart blocks and sends a palm strike into Black’s chin that staggers the vet. Black swings another punch but Ned bats it aside and takes advantage with a standing dropkick that sends Black to the mat. Kaye looks like he wants to put this thing to bed and he heads to the top, coming down with a somersault senton… but JB manages to roll out of harm’s way, leaving a trail of crimson on the canvas where his split forehead is leaking. Black gets up and grabs Ned by the ankles, looking to roll him over into his Real Raw lion tamer. Ned fights it, not allowing himself to be turned over. John Black’s strain and effort has the blood pouring even more freely from his injury, and his knees buckle from the blood loss. Kaye sees his chance and reaches up, grabbing Black by the hair and rolling him into a tight small package!

1!!

2!!

3!!

Winner by Pinfall - “Notorious” Ned Kaye

Vinnie Lane: “I can’t believe it! Ned managed to sneak one past John Black! Hold up… JB’s up to something...”

After the bell has rung, Black rolls out of the ring, and looks underneath the apron. He then pulls out a chair, and slides back into the ring. While Ned is up on his feet, and taunting to the crowd, he turns around and gets clocked in his dome from the chair.

Ned then stumbles around the ring, and Black clocks him some more with the chair. Then he drops the chair, and hits a Blacklisted on Ned. The crowd then starts to boo Black, as he grabs a mic from the outside from a personnel.

"Is this your so called indie darling? The man who thinks the management is holding him down, well look at him. Just look at him, I bet he won more titles outside this fed, then I who've been busting my ass for over six years in this company."

Black then stomps on Ned, and speaks to him.

"Ned, you don't know how it feels to be held down by management. At one point, I held the Trios Championship with two white boys, who never even bothered to apologize for not showing up for the defense. I had to deal with not sucking and jivin to get ahead in this company. So Ned, and YOUR people don't know shit about being held back!"

Black then crushes Ned's throat with a chair, until the security had to come to the ring to stop Black from harming Ned. Black then decks a few guards with a chair, then he goes to the top rope with a chair underneath his arm and slams his face with it.

The fans are now getting heated with Black who picks up the mic once again.

"So to anyone in the backstage of Anarchy, this ins't going to be a wrestling match anymore, against me. This is going be a fucking war, and bloodshed, brawling, carnage you fucking name it! Until I get my reparations in this company, whoever steps against me in the ring... pray to god, that I don't put you in a morgue or in the hospital... Militant Man out."

Black tosses the mic outside, and climbs out of the ring. He walks to the entrance way, and it cuts to some EMT's helping Ned out the ring, as the next segment comes up.

Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap! That was BAD ASS! Quick, send it to commercial in case Ned dies in the ring…”

Vita Valenteen
- vs -
Reggie "The Sandman" Martin

The opening riffs of “Highly Strung” begin to play as the crowd jumps to their feet in excitement. VV runs out onto the stage and and postures for the adorning crowd. She makes her way down the ramp, slapping the outreaches hands of her fans along the way. VV the heads up the steps and runs along the outside apron. She grabs the top rope with both hands and springboards into the ring where she tucks and rolls before settling on a couched, almost ninja like pose. VV hops up and celebrates with the fans for a moment, pumping them up for the upcoming match. Finally, she settles into her corner and uses the ropes to loosen up as she waits for the match to begin.

Vinnie Lane: “Did anyone else just see that, dude? I swear there was a look given between Sarah Lacklan and Vita Valenteen just now as Vita made her way to the ring… I don’t know what to make of it but there was definitely something there.”

Vita enters the ring just as Reggie Martin’s music hits, and Martin sprints to the ring and slides in with all the patience of a Doberman when it sees a squirrel. Vita barely has a chance to hand her 24/7 Briefcase off to ringside crew before Martin is on her with forearm shots across the back.

Vinnie Lane: “Referee John Bihl is luckily pulling Martin off of Vita there, the bell hasn’t even rung… but the damage might be done already as Vita looks like she got hurt by that onslaught.”

After Bihl gets Martin into his own corner and Vita insists she’s good to go, the ref calls for the bell and Martin once again rushes Vta in her corner, shoving her back into the buckles and then ramming his shoulder into her midsection repeatedly with shots hard enough to lift her boots off the mat. Referee Bihl is admonishing Martin again but Martin ignores him as he drags Valenteen from the corner and annihilates her with a falling lariat.

Vinnie Lane: “Reggie Martin is a pit bull. He’s not loosening his jaws for even half a second here!”

Martin stands and right away drops back down with a jumping knee drop across Vita’s skull. He gathers both of her legs in his arm and folds her over for a pin!

1!!

2!!

Vita squirms free!

Vinnie Lane: “I think the fact that Martin is already sweating like a whore in church might have given Vita the ability to slip out of there. Otherwise we might have set a new record for shortest match length!”

Reggie Martin walks away from Vita, who’s left coughing and struggling to get to her feet. He faces the fans in the front row and starts shouting at them, flipping them the bird, and generally just showing his sparkling personality off to the world. Luckily for Valenteen it gives her enough time to finally get her wits about her and shake off the effects of Martin’s initial assault. When Reggie Martin moves to turn his attention back to Vita, he’s met with her boots crashing into his face as she springboards off the ropes from the apron - the Eat Defeat! Vita doesn’t let up, knowing she’s got to keep the stronger man on his heels while she can. Vita hits the ropes as Martin rises, and she flips backward in a perfect Asai moonsault, but Martin sidesteps and sends a knee into Vita’s torso as she sails past.

Vinnie Lane: “Wait a minute dude, where’s Reggie going? Come on man, you’re in control, no need to be a poor sport!”

Martin makes his way to the timekeeper’s area and shoves a crewman aside, pawing at Vita’s 24/7 case. He pantomimes pointing at his chest and tells some fans in the front row that the case is his now, whether Vita likes it or not. Martin then re-enters the ring and stalks a nervous Valenteen, who does her best to stay out of range as Martin threatens to use the case as a weapon. Referee John Bihl can do little but watch as Martin stalks Vita into the ropes, raising the case over his head to crash it down on top of her skull… but when Vita rolls out of harm’s way and the case rebounds off of the top rope and back into Martin’s own face, Bihl does smirk with satisfaction. The case falls to the mat, and Vita runs the ropes to hit her Asai moonsault again, this time landing it perfectly and driving Martin’s back across the case as it lays on the mat. Valenteen looks appalled that he fell on the foreign object and kicks it away, apologizing to the official who just says it’s fine.

Then, seeing the obvious distress of Reggie Martin as he grimaces and arches his back, she takes advantage by sliding over and ensnaring his arms in a Rings of Saturn! Vita really turns up the torque and eventually Martin has no choice but to nod his head yes when John Bihl asks if he’s ready to give up!

Winner by Submission - Vita Valenteen

Vinnie Lane: “Great showing from one of the best in the XWF. Heck of a rebound following that disappointing loss to Big D on Savage, too… she may not have wanted that international object to be involved in the outcome at all, but it wasn’t her choice and she had to take advantage of things as they presented themselves!”

EDWARD
- vs -
Noah Jackson

At ringside, Vinnie Lane puts on a pair of noise cancelling headphones.

Vinnie Lane: “This is my least favorite part of the show, but you’ve gotta admit the guy has made an impact here in the XWF…”

Edward’s awful music plays and several fans at ringside either collapse into seizures or start vomiting. One young man puts a gun in his mouth. Luckily the sound trucks guys cut it off before he can pull the trigger.

EDWARD then is prodded out from the back by a handful of trainers with pointy sticks who manage to get him to go to the ring and sit in his corner.

Noah’s music plays but he’s nowhere to be found. After looking around, puzzled, for a little while, the stage director tells the crew to play the music again.

And again no one emerges from the back.

“Hey! HEY! STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!”

The shrieking voice of Sarah Lacklan coming from her newly-erected throne near the ramp shatters the silence as she gestures wildly down at the foot of the throne. There, with a can of spray paint in his hand, is Noah Jackson.

Vinnie Lane: “Oh shit! Is Noah Jackson Banksy?!?!?!”

Cameras find their way around the columnal base of Lacklan’s throne as the television censors work overtime to bleep out all of the inappropriate words being hurled by the maleficent marchioness herself from atop the towering seat. A crude dick n’ balls is outlined in bright blue paint on the side.

Vinnie Lane: “Nope. Not Banksy.”

Noah then trots to the ring with a big shit-eating grin on his face and two middle fingers pointed up at Lacklan while the Blood Princess goes absolutely apoplectic in her throne. As she shakes what appears to be a Windows Phone over her head and screeches about calling the police, Jackson slides into the ring and waits for his opponent.

Once the bell rings, Noah wastes no time at all in exiting the ring completely and wandering aimlessly outside. Edward looks confused, clearly not having been trained in what to do if your opponent simply refuses to be in the ring with you. Once referee Virginia Hymen reaches a nine count, Noah slides back in, but then slithers right back to the floor as soon as the count is broken. Edward continues growling and drumming on his broad chest in an effort to coax Jackson into combat, but it’s no use. Hymen reaches nine again and once more Noah slides in and then back out of the ring.

Vinnie Lane: “This is SO lame! XWF fans don’t want the action to ever slow down, and here’s this little turd making them watch a cute blonde lady struggle to count to ten over and over… hey wait, looks like help might be on the way!”

Down at ringside, “The Amazing” Ashley Ackles leaps over the guardrail just as Referee Hymen is reaching the end of yet another ten count. Noah Jackson is caught completely off guard by the interloping super heroine, who grabs him by the scruff of his neck and tosses him unceremoniously back under the bottom rope. Jackson is incensed and stands up shouting a bunch of absurd (but creative!) expletives, fully unaware that Edward has crept up behind him. Edward grabs Noah by the back of the head and lifts him high in the air, then sends him careening into the mat in something resembling a reverse chokeslam. He then mounts Noah’s back and starts beating him heartily about the neck and shoulders as Noah tries to cover up and swim move his way out of the situation.

Virginia Hymen has to get involved to break up the melee as its devolved into closed fist rabbit punches into Noah’s brain stem. She gets Edward’s attention, and the cro magnon’s mouth drops open as he regards her, looking like he might want to grab her and drag her up a tall building. Or maybe just force himself on her, who knows. Either way, the australopithecine Edward is stunned by the sight of her and slowly backs away from Noah, allowing the Melbourne Motormouth regain his composure. Rather than escaping the ring this time, however, Noah goes straight for Edward’s eyes, jamming his thumbs into the larger man’s eye sockets and gouging away as Edward howls like a coyote in a full moon.

Vinnie Lane: “Noah is trying to blind the hardcore hominid! This is outrageous!”

Noah breaks away from Edward before the referee gets to a five count, then he hits the ropes and sends Edward face first to the mat with a superman punch to the back of the head! The King Hit has Edward down and Noah jumps onto him screaming for a quick count!

1!!

2!!

Edward throws Noah off of him!

Vinnie Lane: “EDWARD is proving that he can take a serious beating! That punch would have put down most men for way longer than three seconds, but EDWARD is practically still at 100%! And something seems to have fallen out of Noah’s skinny jeans… is that a cell phone? Who wrestles with their phone in their pocket???”

Indeed, the phone landed right next to EDWARD and lit up, starting the selfie camera app. Edward sees himself in the screen and is frozen with fear. He backs away, his hands shaking, and then he attacks the device and starts trying to stomp it into oblivion.

"Oy cunt, that cost me a lot of money!."

Noah then leaps at the back of EDWARD and nails him in the skull with another King Hit, this one dropping EDWARD onto his face where he snores loudly. Dozens of Australian dollar coins explode all over the canvas on impact and it seems pretty obvious that Noah had his fist loaded with a roll of them. The referee didn’t see a thing however, though she gives Jackson a dirty look as he rolls the big man over onto his back and slides on top of him while retrieving his phone and grinning for a selfies with him on top of EDWARD.

1!!

2!!

3!!

Winner by Pinfall - Noah Jackson

Vinnie Lane: “Noah Jackson stole one tonight! And the jerk is now scooping up all of his coins, making sure not to leave a single one of them behind!”

Noah is, indeed, stuffing his pockets with all the coins he can find.

Vinnie Lane: "What a lame guy. Anyway, We've got some exclusive footage right now from someone NOT on the Anarchy brand but who REALLY wants to get something off of her... uh... voluptuous... chest. Let's roll the tape!"

XWF Cameras fade in at what appears to be a press room. Centered is a podium surrounded by different press reporters all chatting to each other and even some doing live reports via cameras in the back of the room. The door swings open and everyone goes silent as two well dressed men assumedly attorneys followed by Dianne Harrel and Destiny Graves walk into the room. Destiny obviously still in some pain from her match Saturday against Lux and the beating afterwards suffered at the hand of Centurion is walking gingerly as she approaches the podium. One of the men take out a piece of paper from a brief case before handing it to Destiny who positions herself and adjusts her blouse.

Destiny: Thank you all for coming, I just need to address a few things before I take any questions... First my match against Lux... I am bruised but quite okay... it was grueling and I would like to thank Lux for an amazing match.

Destiny stops and clears her throat before taking a drink of water from a bottle handed to her by Dianne Harrel.

Destiny: Second I would like to address Micheal Graves...Up until recently it had been almost 10 years since I had seen Micheal … I did not then know the twisted sick monster that my ex brother in law had become. I was always aware that Micheal was a bit … off... but never did I think that he would attack a 17 year old girl and then kidnap her for his sick twisted games. I would like to formally apologize to the XWF universe for being a part of bringing him back to this promotion. I would also like to apologize to the staff of the XWF as well as Dolly's friends and family... That brings me finally to Centurion....

Destiny takes another drink of water before motioning for the XWF camera to come closer. The camera man walks up the middle of the reporters centering on Destiny.

Destiny: Let me make this perfectly clear to you, you middle age, over the hill, high society wannabe... You messed with the wrong BITCH when you stepped into that ring and attacked me after my match . If you want to step up to me and blame me for this so be it but next time maybe you should do it like a man, with your own face showing. So … until such time that you can address me Face to Face instead of face to Micheal Graves mask... I will have a full security detail with me at all times... When you grow some ball and want to put this to bed you can always find me at the arena... the dressing room door says " Queen of the Graves" .

Destiny smirks slightly before turning and walking to the door as the cameras fade back to the arena....

Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Kuda

Vinnie Lane: "Kuda is a serious man with a serious chip on his shoulder! I'm looking forward to this match for sure... Sarah is really going to have her hands full!"

Kuda is led to the ring and he enters, waiting patiently in his corner and gesturing to Sarah Lacklan on top of her throne to come and get some.

Sarah rolls her eyes and descends from her perch as her music takes the place of Kuda's.

Sarah makes her way to the ring from her designated spot, snapping her fingers at the crew until they remember to switch on her spotlight as she walks. Eventually reaching the ring, Sarah removes her crown and the Federweight Title and hands them both off before settling into her corner.

Lawanda Sass looks between the two.

Kuda takes rhythmic breaths in his corner as Lacklan checks her boots.

Vinnie Lane: "Lawanda Sass was an excellent choice to call this match since she's a woman and black so no favoritism."

Sass calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

Before the first ring, Kuda bursts forth from the corner and splashes Lacklan against the corner, air leaves Sarah's lungs as Kuda continues his assault throwing a shoulder against her sternum; grabbing her and tossing her into the center of the ring with a fallaway slam! Lacklan bounces off the canvas as Kuda turns onto his stomach and gets up into a runner's stance as Lacklan stumbles to her feet; Kuda goes into a full sprint once more but Lacklan spins around with a desperate heel kick meeting Kuda's head!

Kuda bowls over onto the ground sending Lacklan spinning in the opposite direction clutching her shin. Kuda quickly shakes the cobwebs as Lacklan hobbles to her feet; Kuda stands and meets Sar again, she throws a quick kick at Kuda's ribs but its' caught! Kuda pulls Lacklan in close she counters with a palm strike to Kuda's chest! Kuda doesn't flinch as he simply picks Lacklan off the ground and tosses her back down on her spine!

Lacklan reels in pain holding her back; Kuda gives a stomp to her gut which sits her up. Kuda then runs against the ropes and comes back with a low boot to Sarah's jaw! Lacklan goes down the mat dazed; a trickle of blood spilling from her busted lip. Kuda goes for a quick cover and Sass slides in for the count.

1!!

2!!

KICKOUT!

Lacklan gets a shoulder up but Kuda pushes her shoulders back down and tries for another pin!

1!!

2!!

KICKOUT!

Lacklan this time uses her full body to get room away from the big man and tosses her legs up into the air, rolling back and wrapping them around Kuda's waist!

Vinnie Lane: "Sweet transition into body scissors there, not as flexible as Roxy but still impressive."

Kuda struggles in the hold howling in pain as Lacklan crushes his ribs between her legs. Kuda goes for a strike but flinches when Sar smartly squeezes at the right time! She throws a quick jab at Kuda's jaw which only angers him; he goes for another strike but is interrupted by another quick strike followed with an elbow!

Another jab with the left and followed with a huge palm strike to Kuda's nose!

Kuda grabs his face as his nose is instantly broken, blood oozing from his nostrils.

Lacklan strengthens the hold and as soon as Kuda lowers his hands, Lacklan throws another palm strike against Kuda!

But she is only met with unbridled rage.

Lacklan throws another strike but it's caught by Kuda and he pushes her arm down to the mat goes into a full mount, Lacklan panics tightening the body scissors but it's no use as Kuda goes full neanderthal and throws forearm after forearm against Lacklan's face! Lacklan's limbs drop with each successive strike as her eyes roll around in her skull. Lawanda Sass comes to intervene but is pushed away by Kuda who is trying to make Lacklan's head blend into the canvas! Sass pulls Kuda off and gives him a first and final warning; Kuda stands a little away from a bloodied Lacklan as he tries to calm his breathing, pacing the ring.

The ref checks on Lacklan making sure she's still ready to go; Lacklan struggles at first but gives the okay and the ref signals for the match to continue.

Vinnie Lane: "Man Gator was so cool until he started huffing paint, I wish that Gator was still around... oh, was my mic on?"

Kuda watches as Lacklan struggles to her feet, for some time he watches. Until she gets halfway to her feet and decides now is the time to strike. He sprints forward for a big boot but it's ducked barely by Sarah! He spins around and is nailed with a spinning chop to his chest! The crowd pop huge! Lacklan grabs Kuda's arm and wrings it she then follows up with a high heel kick to Kuda's chin which wobbles him. Lacklan wrings the arm back into position and tries to drag Kuda to the mat, but he stands his ground!

Kuda gives a mighty throw of his arms and hurls Lacklan into the corner! The air leaves her lungs as her lower back hits the turnbuckle with some force; Kuda follows up with a strong knee to her gut which crumples her. Kuda picks her up once more and holds her high with a bear hug! Kuda throws Lacklan's body in the hold like a wild animal breaking a prey. Lacklan gets in elbows and knees here and there but to no avail; Kuda charges Lacklan's body against the corner with a painful groan. He then turns and runs with her to the opposite corner! Lacklan howls in agony but Kuda doesn't relent, going back to the opposite corner and crushing her again!

And again!

And again!

Kuda slowly growing tired goes for one last run against the turnbuckles but Lacklan, somehow, finds the energy to break loose! At the last minute pushing herself out of the hold and knocking Kuda's head down so he hits the turnbuckle instead!

Lacklan is gasping for air on the ground as Kuda is seeing stars at the corner, he shakes himself awake and looks back to Lacklan struggling to get to her feet he looks back to the corner and gets a foot on the bottom turnbuckle, the crowd go berserk! Kuda turns around on the second rope as Lacklan, soaked in blood. Kuda leaps!

Vinnie Lane: "MAMMOTH KILLER!"

"NO!"

"PELE KICK!"

Lacklan countered in the nick of time! Kuda drops to the mat in a heap; Lacklan looks up at the lights, she rolls and uses the ropes to get herself up. Kuda gets to a sitting position his head falling as if he's about to go to sleep. Lacklan gets to her feet and taunts to the crowd, a second wind filling her. She sizes Kuda up.

"OOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TOTES!"

A sharp kick lands on Kuda's spine which wakes him up and he stands holding his back in agony! Lacklan desperately reaches for Kuda's hair and pulls his head back!

"THE ABYSS"

Lacklan hits the reverse DDT and collapses with Kuda, her arm resting on his chest, the ref goes for the count!

1!!

2!!

3!!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Sarah Lacklan

Vinnie Lane: “That was intense! Kuda has been on a bit of a slide, but I don’t think the big guy even cares! Let’s get our last commercial break out of the way before tonight’s main event!”

When the commercial fades out, Anarchy comes back to the airwaves showing a pre-recorded backstage interaction!

From the superheroic video diaries of Ruby and Ashley

“Welllllll, flip!”

Ruby and Ashley were looking up, their arms crossed as they looked at the rather perilous situation. The tinier of the two looked over at the little girl bawling her eyes out a few yards away as they stood at the edge of a park.

“This isn’t good, my girl,” Ruby sighed, shaking her head. “How the flip are we gonna get that kitty out of that tree?”

She looked at Ashley, expecting her sidekick to come up with the answers.

“Well, I mean, I could try and lift the tree?” the taller and stronger of the two said in her British accent as she smiled brightly behind her blue and white mask. “I’ve got this.” she boasted before spitting on her hands and walking over to the tree, wrapping her arms as much as she could around it and trying to lift it.

“Come on, you stupid, bloody thing!!” Ashley grunted as she had to admit defeat before she threw her back out. The young, tall woman walked back to Ruby and pointed out the obvious with the statement.

“Lifting the tree didn’t work.”

“Yeah, I saw it. But hey, A+ for effort!”

She threw up her hand for a high five and her sidekick eagerly answered in kind.

“In retrospect,” Ruby analyzed, “ruining the tree wouldn’t have been the best idea anyway. Go nature! Save the lungs of our planet!”

“I WANT MY KITTY!” the little girl to the side cried out, not in anger, but in desperation. Ruby walked over and knelt down, grabbing the little girl’s hands.

“Hey there, ease up there little buddy. Ruby and Ashley are on the job.”

The sight of the masked superhero seemed to calm down the little girl somewhat and Ruby stood back up again.

“Right,” the Super Dear’o said, “there’s only one solution. I’m gonna have to go all the way up. Ash, gimme a boost!”

“Got it!” Ashley said as she lifted her smaller partner up into an electric chair style position, like she was going for a One Winged Angel, however the Brit was tall enough so that Ruby could go and latch on one of the branches after climbing up onto her shoulders and leaping off.

“You got it, yeah?” Ashley asked with a smile and a thumbs up before turning to the little girl “OK, lass, we’ve got this, she is, like, the bravest of all the brave people out there, yeah?” as the little girl looked at the British young woman and simply said.

“You have a lovely voice, Ashley.” as Ashley felt a blush almost come through her mask, she was so focused on her conversation with the little girl, that she forgot that Ruby was having to clamber up the tree to get the cat.

Luckily, our banana-lime hero was steadily making her way upwards. When she approached the cat it seemed a bit startled, and Ruby carefully stuck out her green gloved hand.

“Heeeere, kitty kitty k… WHAT THE FLIP??”

The cat hissed and latched out leaving a tear in Ruby’s glove before it jumped off to a lower branch… and handily slid down the tree trunk and onto the ground.

“Why that flippin’ ruddy blighter!” Ruby said, coming to the realization that it was now she stuck in the tree. The girl was ecstatic though, running up the grab her pet off the ground.

“Yay, thank you! You guys are the best! I’m gonna tell all my friends what you did!”

“Thanks I guess?” Ruby said as Ashley chuckled.

The tall Brit looked up, holding her hand above her eyes to protect them from the sun, and pulled a face.

“Looks like you’re stuck, Rubes!”

“Thanks, I noticed!” Ruby answered, looking down at the ground. She wasn’t scared of heights by any stretch of the imagination, but usually when she leapt off of tall structures there were other people to land on.

“I have to say, it’s a nice change of pace from beating crooks into a bloody pulp!” Ashley remarked, but it was obvious she wasn’t the one stuck in a tree!

“I’m still stuck here! Fetch me a ladder, yeah? Don’t wanna tempt fate with our upcoming main event match.”

Ashley shrugged. “Just jump! I’ll catch ya!”

“...you sure?”

As if to affirm Ruby’s question, Ashley merely spread out her arms and smiled. Ruby took a deep breath and muttered to herself…

“Well, here goes! Cowabunga, motherflippers!” And she leapt off, falling easily ten feet downwards, right into the arms of Ashley who snagged her out of the air as if she was a pillow. She carefully put her superhero partner down and they rounded it off with a high five.

“Flip yeah! Teamwork makes the dream work! Can’t see Bobbi London and Maxine do THAT, eh? Let’s see them try and stop us!”

Ashley gave a big beaming smile before saying “No, they can’t do that! Because we’ve got each-others’ backs! We’re inseparable, no joke, either, I’m a British lass and she took me in, because Ruby has the kindest and purest heart that there is.”

Ashley wrapped her arms around her best friend in a big hug before saying to the camera “We are the people who are going to clean up XWF and we’re going to start with Maxine and Bobbi London, we are going to make the world green again!” Ashley nodded firmly before finishing her rambling with a flex and boasting.

“You’ve got brawn” before gesturing to Ruby “and brains!”

“And we’ll be bringing them both to Anarchy, when we put a pair of villains in their place! Don’t forget, flippies! Even the smallest acts of kindness, like saving a cat from a tree, can mean a world of difference in the grand scheme of things. So before we rid this company of all these never-do-gooders, we have to put a particular Aussie and her hulkish friend in their place! See you then!”

And as the heroic team waves at the lens, the camera fades to black.

Vinnie Lane: “Here we go everyone! Tonight’s main event is a huge tag team encounter between some of the hottest new talent in the XWF! Last Anarchy, a miscommunication between Bobbi London and Maxine regarding Ruby after her match with Noah Jackson turned into a melee! That brings us to tonight when Mad Rhymes and Ruby along with Ashley Ackles square off!”

Ruby & "Amazing" Ashley Ackles
- vs -
Bobbi London & Maxine

Bobbi enters first for her team and she meets Ruby right in the center of the ring. At the sound of the bell, Ruby stands stock still center ring with her hand extended for a shake and Bobbi points and laughs… but she does indeed shake the smaller girl’s hand. The two lock up and Bobbi easily overpowers Ruby, muscling her down to her knees and then flinging her across the ring in a huge biel throw. Ruby is up in a flash, though and catches Bobbi off guard with her spryness. Ruby twists Bobbi’s arm and pulls her to her home corner, then slaps Ackles on the palm for a tag while still hanging on. Ackles hops off the top with a double ax handle when she enters the ring, sending London to one knee from the pain.

Bobbi moves to clothesline Ashley but Ackles ducks and Bobbi crashes into the corner. Ashley runs in and walks up Bobbi’s knee, backflipping off of London’s torso with an up kick to the Aussie’s face! Ruby tags in again as Ackles completes the flip, and is quickly on Bobbi with a front face lock, pulling her down to the mat and sinking the pressure in deep.

Vinnie Lane: “Great teamwork from the two masked heroes here tonight! Bobbi isn’t able to keep up with these two as they keep switching places!”

Bobbi gets somewhat of a second wind and fights her way to her feet, still locked in that front chancery. Ruby tries to pull her up into a slam but can’t get her off the ground. Bobbi takes advantage of Ruby’s misstep and runs forward, crashing Ruby into her own corner! Ashley Ackles tags in on Ruby’s back right at impact and then sends a hard forearm shot to London’s maw, hopping over the ropes and grabbing Bobbi in a matching grip with Ruby, and before Ruby leaves the ring the duo execute a double suplex on London. Ackles with the cover!

1!!

2!!

London kicks out!!

Bobbi rolls onto her hands and knees and crawls to her partner, but Ackles has her by the ankles and is holding her back. Ackles shows formidable strength by holding on even as London gets to her other foot and tries to hop free. Finally, with one last burst of effort, Bobbi London leaps free from Ackles and dives into her corner to make the tag. Maxine steps over the top rope and walks slowly into the middle of the ring where Ashley Ackles doesn’t back up an inch. Ackles throws a forearm strike but it bounces harmlessly off of the broad chest of Maxine. She tries again, but this time Max steps back and Ackles’ own momentum spins her around. Maxine grabs her and lifts her high into the air, dropping her hard with a back suplex.

At their corner, Ruby is slapping the top turnbuckle while firmly holding onto the tag rope in case she gets the chance to make a nice, legal tag. Maxine drags Ackles to her feet and then clobbers her with a devastating lariat. Pulling her up again, she hurls Ackles into the corner so hard that it knocks Ruby off the apron! Ackles’ back arches in agony as Maxine steps back to her own partner and tags Bobbi back into the action. Max grabs Bobbi and sends her into the opposite corner with a hard irish whip, allowing Bobbi to crush Ackles with a huge Stinger splash. Bobbi walks in a semicircle, taunting Ackles as Ruby leaps back onto the apron and tags herself in. Ackles rolls out under the bottom rope and lies there in pain, recovering from the big splash as Ruby runs toward Bobbi and peppers her with heavy, clubbing blows across her back and shoulders. Ruby grabs onto London’s arm and sends her to the ropes with a whip, and as she comes off Ashley Ackles reaches under the bottom rope and trips her up!

Vinnie Lane: “Hey! That’s not heroic at all!”

Bobbi lands hard on her face and rolls away, and Ruby is confused and annoyed at her partner. She marches over to the corner to lecture Ackles on proper legal maneuvers and the reasons rules are important, while Ackles just holds her hands up and absorbs the verbal dressing down. Once Ruby turns back around to the action, she’s caught with a huge big boot to the jaw courtesy of Maxine, whom Bobbi tagged in while Ruby was looking away. Ruby is flat on her back and Max reaches down and pulls her up to her feet with one hand around her forehead, then lifts her up and into the air over her head in a gorilla press. Max steps out from under Ruby and lets her fall face first to the mat with a thunderous boom, flexing her biceps for the appreciative crowd. Maxine then drops to her knees and puts her hands on Ruby’s chest for a cover.

1!!

2!!

Ruby’s shoulder is up!

Maxine grabs a handful of Ruby’s hair and drags her into the Mad Rhymes corner, tagging in Bobbi London again. Bobbi takes the handoff and bends Ruby’s head down between her own legs, then lifts her up… she drops Ruby dead center ring with a running powerbomb! Bobbi holds on for a pinning combination!

1!!

2!!

Ruby kicks out just in time! Ruby is in bad shape, having taken a lot of heavy duty shots. She lays sprawled on her back as Bobbi London stands up and laughs, wiping her hands together and backing into the ropes… she rebounds and hops up into the air, dropping a big leg drop onto Ruby’s clavicle.

Vinnie Lane: “That’s the Thunder From Down Under, ladies and gents! This one’s all over!”

Bobbi folds Ruby in half with a grapevine, pinning her shoulders down.

1!!

2!!

Ashley Ackles breaks it up! Ackles dives onto Bobbi and breaks the count, then gets escorted back to her corner by head referee Chaz Bobo. Bobbi just smirks and tags Max back into the fray, telling her to wrap it up so they can go get some steak dinners at Outback Steakhouse (home of the Bloomin’ Onion).

Maxine drags the nearly lifeless body of Ruby up over her shoulder and grips her by the chin, setting her up for her devastating Maximum Overdrive Weapon X-style finishing maneuver. She holds her up and turns so the whole audience can see Ruby dangling there helplessly… and then Ackles crashes into her from behind with a diving elbow to the crown of Maxine’s head! Bobbi London is furious and charges into the ring, tackling Ackles and sending them both falling out of the ring to the concrete floor, but the damage is done. Max staggers off-balance and Ruby manages to leverage her position into a variant of a victory roll, pinning Max’s shoulders down and jackknifing her legs over top!

1!!

2!!

3!!

Winner by Pinfall - Ruby & Ashley Ackles

Vinnie Lane: “Once again Ruby’s lucky streak keeps her on the winning path! Maxine got a shoulder up just a nanosecond too late, and I don’t think either of them have any idea what Ackles did. Bobbi London is irate! She’s screaming at the referee but we do NOT do instant replay here in XWF, dude!”

London gets in Bobo’s face and looks like she might get physical with him, but luckily Maxine is there to hold her back.

Ruby and Ashley Ackles head to the locker room with their hands held high over their heads, although it looks like Ruby might collapse at any second.

Vinnie Lane: “Now that’s what I call ANARCHY! We’ll see you next time, everyone!”

Anarchy fades to black.

Kuda · (05-16-2019)

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode ANARCHY - 5/02/19
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