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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
Of Basic Bitches and Awkward Trysts
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Corey Smith Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
04-24-2019, 03:55 PM

[Image: hi0tlviyum821.gif]

Oh God, Jesus..... Lux huffs, as she opens her eyes to see an explosion of light. She immediately becomes aware of her head pounding, and groggily rubs her forehead, groaning in pain. Gradually, the flashing lights coalesce into her view of a ceiling she doesn't recognize, and a ceiling fan that is on and wobbling back and forth ever so slightly as it tries to beat back the Alabama humidity. Huh....what the hell happ....

And that's about when she picks up on the sensation of a body lying intertwined with hers, bare skin on bare skin. She turns, to see Joachim Bright laying next to her, one hand draped across her thigh and the other tucked under his face. Her body tenses with a fresh flush of anxiety, and she turns to look at the ceiling again. Shit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LATER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Corey is sitting at a small kitchen “island” of what looks to be an upper scale hotel room. He's wearing a bathrobe, some pajama pants and a t-shirt, with big fluffy Chihuahua slippers on his feet. He dunks a spoon into the remnants of the Apple Jacks cereal in front of him and slurps it down, the milk dribbling down his chin, which he is able to catch with the sleeve of his robe.

Hey Destiny, good morning! Boy did I have a weird one! So did you ever have one of those moments where you have a strange new experience, and your brain is frantically trying to process that shit, but then you remember you were scheduled to cut a promo against some plastic surgery addicted scrub and you really, really don't feel like it but know you have to? And on top of all of that you have a raging hangover that you're not even responsible for? You ever have to do that? I mean, I'm just speaking hypothetically here....

Corey drops his spoon into the bowl with a clatter as he grouses into the camera, trying to purge the taste of 12 hour old Chardonnay from his taste buds.

So I realize you just came back to the XWF and you're not familiar with how things go around here now, so lemme catch you up to speed. You see, when people face Lux and their promo's suck real bad, I stunt on them pretty hard. And by “pretty hard” I mean “ego crushingly hard”. And for as much as I'd like to say it's nothing personal, it really REALLY is because you're a gigantic tool.

So where do we start with that mess, hmmm? Should I just dig right in? It's kind of like that scene from Jurassic Park where Ellie sticks her whole arm in that giant pile of shit.

[Image: anigif_enhanced-20310-1434132826-3.gif?d...ality=auto]

Corey gags and looks like he's gonna puke for a moment, but is able to get himself back under control. Sorry, severely miscalculated how hung over I was for that image. So let's start with your assertion that when it comes to being basic, there's nothing about you that's basic. Because I'm sorry, but the lie detector determined that that statement is a LIE. Everything about you is basic. Literally everything.

Destiny you're so basic you had to sit on your hands until the exact moment Lux cut a promo so you would have something to respond to. You needed to be spoon fed, Destiny. Like a little baby.

Corey picks up the spoon again and starts flying it around, making airplane “zooming” noises.

Vrrrrrooooooom! Here's comes Destiny's promo material, coming in for a landing! **Screeeeeech!**

He spins the spoon around to land it back in his mouth.

Mmmmmm....tastes like dependency!

Plucking the spoon out of his mouth, he points it at the camera for emphasis.

Anyway, back to how fucking basic you are. Bitch, you're so basic you basically (heh) just did a complete retread of every promo that's been cut on me since I set foot here three months ago. Corey's crazy, Corey secretly wants to be a girl, Corey's gay, blah...blah...blah. I mean, you would think by random chance that in 10 minutes of promo'ing you'd hit on at least one innovative burn just by accident, but you couldn't even manage that. Nope, just a straight up cut and paste of all the same old talking points.

Also, LOOOOOVED the part where you said, “let's talk about personality” but then ducked it, because you know that your made for reality TV Queen Bitch act is the polar opposite of having a personality. Like, how are you so lacking in creativity for being a Graves? I mean, Mikey is a sentient bag of kiddy diddling dogshit but at least he manages to bring something new to the table from time to time. But you? You somehow think being “spoiled rich diva 4,236” is your ticket to fame when in reality it's more like a ticket to Dream Land for thousands of insomniacs. Damn girl, who needs Ambien when they got you?

And hey, way to go on your pop sci diagnosis of me. The one thing you did get right was the bipolar thing, but contrary to what you may remember from that time you got 'luded up and half read a copy of Psychology Today “bipolar schizophrenia” does not exist. Those are actually two discrete disorders with different sets of symptoms. But hey, while we're just mashing disorders together let's have some fun with it.

Gonorrheal meningitis!

Irritable Aids Syndrome!

Explosive Yeast Infection!

Ingrown Chromosomal Deletion! (Which incidentally also explains wide swaths of the Graves Clan)

Etc....etc....I think you get the point. You sounded real dumb there Destiny. Real, real dumb. And while people like you never quite seem to pick up on when they sound dumb, those faces people make when they hear you speak?

Corey makes that face.

It looks like this. Hint! Hint! That's a sign that you are sounding like a moron and should shut up. Also, just a heads up for you and your assistant, if you had somehow managed to hijack my private medical records, that's a massive violation of this federal law called HIPAA and admitting to it on camera like ya'all just did is also quantum level moronic. I'm looking into legal remedies for your stupidity as we speak. By the time me and the government are done with you, you're gonna be forced to wear Crocs unironically.

Corey laughs, and starts mocking Destiny by doing the “make it rain” emote.

Oh, but then you wanna talk about RESPECT. Respect? Riiiight. You sashay in here like some cut rate Cruella Deville, establishing yourself as the absolute worst kind of entitled new money hosebag, and start busting out that “Oh my respect has to be EARNED” chestnut. “I EARNED the right to treat people like shit” she says. Uh huh.

Well, I can do research too, and unlike yours mine actually has a passing basis in reality. So let's take a gander at what Destiny did to earn all that respect.


Corey busts out his phone and tilts it towards the camera, so we can see him scrolling through the championship history of every XWF title in the last 6 years.

Now maybe mine eyes deceive me, but it looks kinda like you've done fuck all to earn any kind of respect. I even looked back at the DEFUNCT titles and your name appears NOWHERE on any championship listing for the last 6 years. You have literally done absolutely NOTHING to justify having a shitty attitude or thinking you are better than anyone. Hunty, your only special “talents” are being rich, cutting shitty promos, and having a vaguely masculine jawline. Earning your respect is the equivalent of earning a sad handy in a truck stop bathroom, and the hand is really calloused and they have no lube so all you're left with is a chapped pecker and lots and lots of shame.

So now let me tell YOU how this is REALLY going to go down.

Because you made the Galaxy Brain decision to double down on your relationship to the Grave's, Lux is going to kick your face off your skull even harder than she was planning to before, because stomping something that crawled out of your family's genetic cesspit is the greatest form of humanitarian aide she could possibly provide. And after getting gift wrapped your win in your big return match, your second match is going to end in pain and tears and a post traumatic stress induced reaction to the letters “L”, “U”, and “X” for the rest of your petty, miserable life.

So there's two ways your career can go after this ensuing catastrophic loss. You can either take it as a flashing red light that you are about as mediocre as it gets, commit to no longer acting like a total gobshite, and embark on a journey of self-improvement and contrition.

Or you can learn nothing and continue to be awful.

Unfortunately, my experience with most of humanity tells me you're most likely going to open door number 2. C'est la vie.

Corey points to the door.

So there's your door. Get gone.

Whoa, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that.

Joachim Bright enters the scene, hair rumpled and wearing a disheveled white tee and plaid boxer shorts. He blinks in pain in response to the sunlight, grumbles something unintelligible and opens the mini-fridge. Corey watches him do all of this in silence.

Joachim pulls a small container of orange juice out, unscrews the cap and drains it. Then, he walks over to Corey with a goofy smile and leans in to him, lips pursed for a kiss. Corey leans back in response. Surprise, it's Corey.

Oh damn it! Joachim sputters, drawing back from him with a quickness. Jo shuts his eyes and drops down onto the bench across the way from Corey. Shit....

Yeah, shit. So did you think I wouldn't find out?

Jo puts his face in his hands, serving a dual purpose of shielding himself from the bright light and hiding his face in shame. So did you, like, see us....?

No, thankfully. But I awoke bright and early to see you and my body in post-coital bliss.

Please don't be mad at Lux.

Corey scowls at Jo from across the table. Oh, I was at first. But then I realized it's you I should really be pissed at. Yeah, sure, it takes two to tango, but you know Lux is vulnerable like that.

Vulnerable how?

The young man looks incredulous. What do you mean “vulnerable how”? She just got done declaring her love for me not even a month ago and then she goes and hops in the sack with you. She's LONELY, man. She's lonely and confused and she has barely ever gotten to be with anyone because her life is so screwed up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Joachim peels his hands from his face, blinking back against the light. You're making it sound like I took advantage of her or something. That's not how it went.

How did it go?

Look, I asked her out earlier and she shot me down. But we still had dinner as friends. We came back here, ordered a couple bottles of wine and just appreciated having some normalcy for a bit. Just relaxing. But then it got, I don't know, TOO relaxed. We ordered another bottle, talked more, and it started getting heavier. There was more alcohol then. And she started talking about feeling lonely, about how she missed being touched. Jo sighs. She came on to me. I'm sorry.

And it never occurred to you that maybe I should have the right to give MY permission for MY body to be used for....that.

You're right. Joachim concedes solemnly. I screwed up. Do you want to know....what we did, exactly? Just so you know?

Corey frowns. I'm not sure. He looks torn, but then decides to take the plunge. Was there any backdoor action?

No.

Oh, well....good then.

Yeah.

They both sit in awkward silence for a moment, before Corey breaks it. Fuck!

What?

Does this mean I cheated on Vita?! He says, panic flushing his cheeks.

Jo looks stumped by this. I don't...think so? But maybe tell her anyway.

Yeah....okay....yeah. Corey shakes his head, still decidedly unsettled.

Hey, uh, not to dig myself in further here but there's a mole on your lower back that looks a little irregular and maybe you should....

Dude, just shut up.

Shutting up now. Joachim casts his glance down at the white table top, pinching his lips together like it's an act of contrition.

fin.

[Image: CoreySig6A.png?width=270&height=406]
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[-] The following 2 users Like Corey Smith's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (04-25-2019), Darius Xavier (04-24-2019)




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