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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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Shine
Author Message
Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
04-22-2019, 06:47 PM




~~Presenting the PrincessTwilightSexyFang podcast, as viewed on the app which totes does NOT have a secret hentai channel left over from Mil’s influence, CoolTube~~

HIIIIII-iiiiiii!

Sarah Lacklan-


*totes lyrical ascending piano notes*

MARKETING GENIUS here today at the BEST Tiffany’s Jewelry Store, the one in Beverly Hills, obvs, for a VERY special event...swag shining! They do SUCH a GREAT job shining up all my necklaces and earrings, not to mention the wedding ring that I’ll get to later, that I ALSO have them shine up my championships! And as you can tell by the Queen of the Ring crown atop my head, and the Federweight Championship across my sexy-as-flame shoulder (more on that in a bit, too!), I have a LOT of shining to do today! But...BUT! I am not alone! Oh no, no no. I have my whole CREW here with me to shine up THEIR swag, too. Say hi, everyone!

*Sar’s SWEET Windows Phone camera turns away from her face, the face of the most beautiful angel in all of angeldom, and finds three women: The caramel-skinned and micro-braided Kenzi Grey; blue-eyed and leggy blonde cat mom Angie Vaughn (Hi, Drew!); green-eyed temptress of the Bombshell Mountains, Roxy Cotton. The three other members of the #CoolKids give the Fang Gang a wave*

As you can see, ALL of my amazeballs friends have their OWN championships to shine up! Along with her PHAT ASS black diamond wedding ring I bought her, my Beloved wife Kenzi has her UGWC Cooperative Championship. Angie has her UGWC World Championship, and-Hey! Stop glaring!

*Kenzi and Angie do not listen and instead keep their eyes locked on one another, menace in their eyes*

I said stop it RIGHT NOW or SO HELP ME I will tan BOTH of your butts until they are purple! Even IF Angie’s is so bony that I’ll likely break my wrist!

*Angie turns her scowl to her red-eyed BFF, but then pouts as she turns back to Kenzi*

...sorry, Kenz…

...me too, Ang…

MUCH better! See, even we are competing for World Championships, we RESPECT and LOVE each other...right?!

*the two give a reluctant nod*

Dabs! And then there’s Roxy who...well...she’ll have another title again on Monday. Maybe. At least you can get your #ForeverFiance ring shined up today!

*Roxy doesn’t even bother to hide the middle finger she shoots Sar as she “accidentally forgets” to whisper “...hatechu…” Sar giggles as she turns the SWEET Windows Phone back to herself*

N-E-Ways, getting titles shined up is NOTHING that my next opponent would even know about! Because I drew freakin’ KUDA for the second Anarchy! And, like, lets be honest here, m’kay: This dude was good for, like, five seconds when he first showed up and hasn’t done jack shit since.

*Sar clearly ignores the “TSK!” from Angie over her language*

Like, I TOTES get what it means to make a splash when you’re new, ya know? I jumped onto the scene and beat down legends and champions, made both Corey/Lux/Ripley/Whatever AND Dolly my bitch in the same night, and followed that up with a one-punch performance of dominance at Anarchy. AND beat down TinyD for the Federweight in a “back-and-forth” so one-sided that it was basically just me being the Kurgan to his Heather MacDonald!

...good GOD, what an obscure reference…

But Kuda? Sure, he grabbed the Federweight from a sleeping Kid Kool, but that’s basically like saying that he dunked on a kid in a wheelchair, and, yeah, he was able to retain at March Madness, but that was against a group of schlebs so pathetic that even the 2017 Browns could have won the thing. And after retaining against Vespie, who I’m pretty sure fell asleep at the wheel while driving to the match in the first place, he fell off the face of the planet so fast that he even found himself handing out Ws to old men like Fuzz and Rogan. And what that has taught me is that, unless he’s able to bust out that lame-ass Copy/Paste special move he borrows from Game Girl (who TOTES bailed like a bitch after jobbing in the tournament, just like I predicted!), he can’t do shit. So much for making a big splash. Got to do more than just make that initial impact, ya know? Got to follow it up.

*Sar hands her Federweight title to a worker and then holds up her left hand to the camera*

See this?

*her SWEET camera focuses on the thin ring on her finger. Lined with alternating tiny diamonds and rubies, it sparkles in the light*

My Beloved bought me this because its basically me in a ring. Red for my eyes and color scheme, not to mention rarity and value. Diamonds for eternity, hardness, and their cut. It sparkles like I do. It shines. It illuminates. My Beloved made the perfect purchase, because it IS me. I am as rare as this ring, as brilliant with my shine as this ring, both beautiful and perfect. But Kuda?

*she shakes her head*

Just a ring of ice. Sharp? Sure. Painful to the touch? Certainly. It even burns, at first! But it doesn’t last. It melts away when exposed to heat. It leaves a puddle on the floor to be quickly dried by the sun. And unfortunately for him-

*she flashes her Billion $$$ smile*

My shine is brighter than even the sun. Smooches!

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[-] The following 3 users Like Lacklan's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (04-23-2019), Ned Kaye (04-23-2019), Rain (04-25-2019)




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