[Eric is sitting across a chair with nobody in it. He looks at the camera, smiling. He then talks to the show audience.]

"Hello fans, I am here to announce a ma who is our TV Champion Lux, before he comes out, I have to ask, what is a Televison title? I mean i've looked on the website, and I realized that it's something to do with a time limit."

[Then Eric's TV screen pop in a 20 minute timer. Then the clocks starts to tick down.]

"Oh *BLEEP*, I only got twenty minutes to speak to someone. I hope someone comes out for the time runs out!"

[Then his live band play at half speed, as Eric waits while fiddling his thumbs, and looks at his producer, who is warning him of the time.]

TBC: Lux or anyone.

Lux, err Corey, who is now the one in residence, looks a little confused because he's been sitting there the whole time. Hey dude, I'm already here. And to answer your question the television title makes you the champion of Savage...and ALL of television. Oh, and all the title matches have time limits.

Corey sniffs.

Why does it smell like BO?

[Eric takes a whiff, and just noticed Lux sitting there. He then looks at the timer, and it went down to sixteen minutes. Then he speaks to Lux]

"I had no clue you just arrived in here, my PA didn't inform me. But any how, how do you like having a limit in savage? I bet its a pain in the ivories huh?"

[Eric then puts up a mini title that says "one minute man" on the desk, and show it to Lux, but wasnt amused by it.]

"Did you i can last one minute in the bedroom? I can bust a fat *Bleep* right now. You wanna see it?"

[The censors then black out the screen, then it cuts back to holding his title belt on his shoulder.]

"So Lux, how does it feel to have everyone praying on you for their fifteen minutes of fame? I bet it turn you on, hell if i could, id face you for it on the set!"

[The audience "ooo" at eric statement, as Lux looked on him.]

Tbc: Lux or peeps...

Well ACTUALLY....I'm Corey. Lux is the one who does all the fighting. I can tell her to come out if you want to fight her for the title? Corey challenges, drawing another well timed "oooooooh" from the crowd.

[Eric, now realizing he's talking to Corey, balks down against the challenge.]

"I am confused, but at the same token, I don't want to ruin the credibility of that title."

[Eric clears his throat with drinking some gin, and coughs for a good minute. Eric regains his focus to Corey/Lux across from him with a serious demeanor.]

"Let's get to the meat of this interview... what body spray does Lux wear?

How can I get inside Lux's orifice's with it being gay?

Then, I also have this deep question to as you Corey.... what made you decide to have that split personality, that dictates your life?

Are you truly happy with having Lux be your alter ego, when you could be just Corey the TV champion?"

Whoa, that's a lot to unpack. I'll start with the body spray. Kenneth Cole Reaction, all the way man. As for how you can get inside my orifices without it being gay, brother, I just don't know. Isn't trying to get in any of my orifices in it of itself gay? I suppose it depends on which orifice. Ear and nose are pretty neutral. Booty? Pretty much ground ezero for the gay. Not that I'm judging, I'm just not into you like that.

As for your last question, I feel like I just spent an entire pay per view explaining why this ISN'T true. But I didn't "decide" to have Lux be a part of me anymore than you decide to have cascading waves of ball sweat. It's something that happened to me. Lux is her own discrete person living inside me, which honestly sounds sexier than it really is.

Some part of me is happy with Lux and some parts of me aren't, and none of what I'm saying is any secret for her. Her life is.....dangerous and horrible and violent sometimes. And I'm not even talking about the XWF. Turns out that protecting the world from an apocalyptic future involves doing some pretty nasty shit. That's the part I struggle with, a lot. However, the good part is that Lux knows how to fight, and I never would have been able to come to the XWF without her. There would never be "just Corey as the TV champion" because I don't know how to fight worth shit. Although she's starting to show me some things.

10:00

[There is close up shot of Eric sweating bullets, as the time winds down on the screen.]

"S***... S****.. SH***!"

"That's okay, I mean i can hook you up with a three pack of Kenneth Cole Reaction, PA HAND THIS SENTIENT CRATURE HIS PRSENT!"

[The PA gives Lux the three pack of the reaction spray, the Eric waves him away.]

"I can sense that you have to fight as Lux, and I can believe that this women is your wake up call for change. We are living in a world where, we have something inside us greater then mankind itself.

Not that I would want to Peter Griffin my dick in your ears, even though they are so hawt... ah fuck it...

If Lux had been showing you some things, how come she hadn't shown you the way of the Universal Championship? I mean so far, from bits and pieces i've seldom watch on XWF TV... you seem like a person who can put in work.

I feel as though, Lux... is... pulling a john malkovi----

S****

Nevermind, I don't want to insult her... I hope you enjoy that pack, it costed me like sixty dollars. I have this question to ask you Corey, do you think you see yourself within the Lux paradox... as TV Champion for more then, a year or so?

If so, then tell what are your plans to keep yourself focused enough to not have to beat the clock itself, and to prove why you such hottest commodity for the tran-- i mean for the average XWF fans, who have the same issues as you do.


If not... then, how will you continue your career here in XWF as Lux?"

Corey makes a WTF face.

Are you having a stroke? There were like 5 different trains of thought in there my man. Let's get the most vital one out of the way first....if ya stick a dick in my ear, I can't promise you you won't walk away with a nubbin'.

Maybe I wasn't clear on this before, but Lux makes all the fight decisions. So why she hasn't pursued the Universal Championship yet is her call, not mine. Although, I suspect a pretty major factor is that our good friend Vita Valenteen...

The crowd hoots and awwwws. Corey blushes a bit.


....is a current briefcase holder, so we don't want to run headlong into her hopes and dreams. Plus, we just want to stay stateside for right now, so Savage is the better choice.

As for the rest, God, I'm still trying to parse that. Did you go to journalism school in the back of a van? Listen, I'm not transgender, not that there's anything wrong with that. We're not pulling a John Malcovich, although I will concede he is a hell of an actor with the worst talent agent in the known universe. As for whether or not I'll be with Lux a year, two years, or longer?

Well, I just don't know.

I wish I could answer that. Really. And I'm not gonna lie, would a part of me someday like to return to just being Corey? Yeah. But not if that means ending Lux.

And thanks for the Kenneth Cole.

5:30

"Whoa whoa there Lux... i mean Corey, I didn't mean to offend your stance on your alter ego. Also, what's with you and Vita, are you all a couple? I mean, last time i've checked Tommy had it in for her, and you tried to defend her. What happened when you tried to save her?

You can't save a person who can't save themselves, Corey....or Lux.. or whatever you people need to be called as.

Also, I did briefly go to college as a Journalist, but dropped out to due to poor grades, so in short, yes I managed to hitchhike into a in a van, and was taught how to just sound insane.

I'm suprised you even signed up for this, I honestly thought you'd stay away and focus on protecting Vita, and being a hot shot, Corey. Eventually, everyone has to grow old and split away their own innocence, I have a theory that Lux..."

[Eric noticed Corey getting visibly pissed off with him, so he picks up a puppy as a peace offering. He then hand it Corey to play with, and pops one of his ADHD pills with a glass of water.]

"You know what Corey, I apologize for sounding like an idiot, and going off topic. I mean i'm on some meds for my terrible case of ADHD. Let's start again...

You are totally welcome for the spray, and if you had the choice of going into the matrix of your mind and encounter Lux... would you fight her? Would you just give in and take the blue pill of the mind of Lux?

Because what I sense, is that you are struggling to let go of a sentient lady, who dictates your body. I know you can't fight, but me neither. I'm just sayin, I feel like she is only using you to go far in the XWF."

I think you should probably be on some different meds.

Corey scrunches his face up, finally starting to feel like maybe he's wasting his time.

And I'm starting to think we should go ahead and put this one to bed, because this interview is starting to make me want to go back to doing drugs. But before I do, I will answer one of the things you said that sounds like a reasonable facsimile of a question.

Would I take the blue pill and forget Lux? I assume that's what you were going for? Well, my answer is "no". Because for as tough all these experiences have been with Lux, I think I've learned a lot too. And I'm not sure that's something I would ever want to forget. Sooooo....YOINK!


He grabs his donated body spray.

And YOINK!

And he picks up the TV title.

But hey Eric it's been real....something. But I'm gonna get outta here before I start doing heroin. Later!

Corey heads for the exit with his haul, waving to the crowd. A couple of girls toss their panties at him. Corey, embarrassed, side steps around them mouthing "thanks but no thanks" as he leaves the stage.

0:02

"Just in the neck of time, well folks, the timer didn't go down to zero. I had a very moving conversation with Lux, and I hope to see you all next time for the next episode of Blank You TV."


[Before Eric can get out of his seat, the timer went down to zero, and the stage exploded with c4 pyro, and we see Eric in cloud of dust and smoke, while the audience claps.]


"Damn that time timer!... maybe next time, i'll get pointer on how to no di--"