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Current XWF board time: 06-19-2019, 10:45 AM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                
X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Warfare Boards » "Wednesday Warfare" RP Board
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On The Prowl
Author Message
 Robert "The Omega" Main  Offline
Universal & Tag Team Champion

XWF FanBase:
Hardcore, psycho fans

(cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)

Post: #1
01-11-2019 07:44 PM


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The camera pans to a live shot at the Universal Championship perched on a mantle bestowing a brilliant shine. A radiant glistening Jessalyn will only ever see from a distance. The closest she’ll ever come to the brass ring and its luster is Warfare. Drew abruptly infiltrates the picture scratching his ass oblivious to the camera right behind him. Drew then discharges a rather large hocker (the dark green kind) onto the sleeve of his shirt giving the Universal Championship a spit shine before retreating from the frame.

:::::Morgan Freeman voice over time bitches!:::::

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Through all the trials and tribulations Robert would have never pictured himself where he is now. It had always seemed to be an uphill battle, it was APEX - vs - the world after all. First Drew was double dealt right before his Television Championship match. When his back was turned he was fired upon from the coward Erik Black, Robert’s brother placed in a coma. This was an invasion Robert didn’t take lightly, later that very night Robert stormed Black’s castle invading the would-be brawlers land, carpet bombing Black with blow after blow Robert bludgeoned Erik Black so badly he walked out on wrestling with his tail firmly tucked between his legs. Later that very evening Robert witnessed the murder of his comrade Jim. To this day Robert still points the finger at himself for everything that transpired on that faithful night. In one night APEX was surgically dismantled but not departed.....

In the face of pure pandemonium, Robert stood tall, at times it felt like he was in a place of torment being burnt alive by everlasting fire, stuck in purgatory…. That is until Drew awakened from his slumber. Robert wasted no time in getting Drew rehabilitated. Now Robert and Drew come together once more as APEX in a match where the risk factor could jeopardize each of their legacies permanently. Tag Team Championships - vs - The Universal Championship to the victors goes the spoils…

Jessalyn decided to try and pick at APEX[ like a scab.. Now that she’s broken the surface this bitch is going to have to deal with the uncontrollable bleeding that ensues. She alleged she had nothing but the upmost respect for APEX and all their collective accomplishments. Yet in a second promo clearly all that admiration must have slipped her mind, poof out the window, oops, nothing like high regard and paying homage then becoming ungracious and ill-mannered within hours. How perplexing, it’s difficult to understand even mind-bending to get a feel for someone when they decide to speak from both sides of their mouth. She either thinks highly of APEX or doesn’t she cannot have her cake and eat it too. That must be the entitlement speaking, or even the self-righteousness coming out. Or maybe…. Just maybe she has no fucking idea… You be the judge….

APEX has never asked or demanded anyone to kiss their asses. They have always demonstrated who and what they are inside the ring, the line in the sand clearly drawn. APEX just urges most not to step over that line, and if ”The Midnight Dolls” musters up the courage which they have in this case, APEX will throw down the gauntlet and knock the chips off of their shoulders. Jessalyn would have you think she is willing to “do whatever it takes” to keep the Tag Team Championships. Most will make this bold claim, trying the hand of APEX the complication with such an affirmation is very few have walked away and lived to tell the tail. Jessalyn didn’t think things through, having the audacity to poke a sleeping giant. She now runs the risk of putting her career and VV’s career on the line….

Now the battle lines have been precisely drawn. The question was asked to Drew and Robert just how much discomfort they would be willing to go through just to become the Tag Team Champions.. How moronic and naïve? How oafish? If Robert were speaking he would tell you this question is quite foolish… But seeing how we are dealing with dumb fucks I’ll inform you. There is no amount of wretchedness or emotional suffering these two men won’t go through just to obtain what they believe has been theirs all along. ”The Midnight Dolls” are nothing more than placeholders, the flavor of the month in the Tag Team division, their fifteen minutes of notoriety are about to elapse. APEX is cashing in all their chips and when they glare across the ring at ”The Midnight Dolls” these two women will comprehend APEX isn’t Chris Chaos or The incompetent Killers. They will see firsthand that APEX is in a league of their own. And not the movie we don’t want to be sued!

Where the “OTHERS” fell short Robert and Drew will not. They simply cannot, there is just too much at stake. The answer to this equation and it isn’t as complicated as one might think, it’s honestly quite simple. What makes “The Omega” and Drew a cut above the rest? These men are mavericks, trendsetters, trailblazers, box-office success, vanquishers, these two men have conquered everything they have ever put their mind to. Whatever was placed in front of these two has been demolished. This isn’t bogus or fabricated its simply just authenticity. The proof is in the pudding! This is the difference, failure - vs - success. Once that bell rings ”The Midnight Dolls” will take their last breaths as Champions, Drew and Robert Main will terminate their tenure, concluding the pint-sized story that was ”The Midnight Dolls”!

:::::End Transmission:::::

:::::Continued From Drew’s Whacked On, Whacked Off, The Whacker. 24 HRS Later:::::

DrewHow in the hell are we going to find this Locksley character?

Bob it’s simple we hit up the shanties.. We look for the homeless. They are on the streets 24/7 they know everything going on in this city at any given time. We find them we find this Locksley dick… These are my people after all. I was the mayor of a tent city. Like I said we find the homeless we find our guy. Problems solved debts paid in full. Done!

Debts I had nothing to do with I might add. For whatever reason, I wasn’t in the right mind that night. After I ate that porterhouse and sautéed mushrooms and a side of French fries I started feeling ill. Kind of trippy. It was weird, if I was myself we would have never gotten into this situation in the first place. I would have looked in that duffel bag and said hell no! Why won’t you look at me…..? Drew what did you do? Drew?

Robert pokes Drew in the back with his index finger. While Drew continues watching traffic pass.

Earth to Drew…. Hello?

Bob, I had to. I’m sorry…. I just…… I just…. I just wanted you to let loose…

Robert looks confused shaking his head

What do you mean? We always have fun! What the fuck are you talking about?

So… Yeah…. I had the chef add some magic mushrooms to your sautéed ones.

WHAT? Tell me you are fucking kidding me right now… Are you serious? This is a joke ha, ha you got me!

Drew remains silent

Oh my God you are being serious! Magic mushrooms? Why would the chef even think of doing that? It’s illegal! I should sue the place. God damn it Drew I thought I had food poising or something. It’s no wonder everything was so freaking weird looking, there were rainbow snakes coming out of the floor at the Rugby game. Well until I got kidnapped! I go out and drink my ass off and party like it’s 1999 and here you want to add some mushrooms that grow in shit. So, I’ll have a good time? I outdrink you all the time!

That’s not saying much, Bob… You outdrink the entire bar.. I needed to up your game..

Tell me they were washed..

Drew shakes his head no as Robert turns green immediately gaging

So, we still going to shanty town or is that a negative?

Robert pulls a pack of gum from his pocket jamming his mouth full briskly walking away from Drew.

Was it something I said? Bobby…. Hey, don’t be mad…. Bob… Hey, wait up. (shouting) YOU SHOULD EXPECT THINGS LIKE THIS!

Robert continues walking as he raises one arm into the air flipping Drew the bird

That’s an awful gesture, Bobby! It’s unchristian!

Robert and Drew walk a few blocks when they spot a homeless man sitting on concrete steps he then bellowed out

Spare some change?

Robert and Drew stop dead in their tracks staring down at the man who had his arms wrapped tightly around his knees. Robert looks to Drew for a split second then back at the man on the steps. His face was pale with no life, his silver hair was greasy and intertwined with his long grey whiskers protruding from his weathered face. Robert again looked to Drew who was now leaning up against a street light. Robert shrugs with his hands out.

What are you doing Drew? Pay attention huh!

Oh, me… Nothing just hanging out here by the post like Cody Parkey.. You know lots of people are saying don’t pick on the guy…

Dude missed a field goal totally his fault!

That’s my point Bob.. You don’t go to Arby’s and ask for horsey sauce with your beef and cheddar not get it, then run across town and give taco bell hell for not giving you the sauce of the god’s. Of course, it’s his fault. He kicked the damn thing didn’t he.. Dudes a total dick. If he name was anything else besides your normal basic bitch name we’d be talking about blown coverage or third down conversions.

True, it’s an easy name to remember any time he pays a bill with a credit card they are going to say you’re the guy who missed that field goal!

That ball changed directions son many times I now believe in the magic bullet theory. You’ve got too. Bang Ding Ow. Hell, the Bears mascot fell over like Fred Sanford. You know when an ass hole in a costume is throwing you under the bus career is over. Icing the kicker works man! It’s like trying to go to pound town when you put the rubber on backwards. Hang on just a second sweetheart. What a joke!

The homeless man once again spoke

Spare some change?

Sure we have some spare change and when I say we I mean Robert here. All we need to do is ask you a few questions. Have you ever heard of a man that goes by the name Locksley?

The homeless man buries his head in his arms


Robert pulls his money clip from his pocket flashing hundred-dollar bills. The homeless man looks up just enough to see Robert waving the money around. Robert and the man make eye contact for a brief moment when Robert starts counting the money out loud.

One hundred, Two hundred, Three hundred, Four Hundred, Five Hundred, Six Hundred… Drew I wonder how man hundreds are here. Seven Hundred, Eight Hundred, Nine hundred, a Thousand damn! Nothing better than cold hard cash.. Robin Fo? Ring a bell?

Do you know what you are asking me?

Yeah a question….

I can’t even for all that money. That person is wanted by the Italian mafia this individual has been meddling in their businesses, from what I have heard. I want no part in it. The word on the street is that he has broken up their prostitute rings all over the country, he’s stopped their illegal drug running, stealing their money and giving it to the poor. They want this person dead. They will kill me if they find out I know anything.

Now we’re getting someplace! This has got to be the guy. Do you know where we can find him by chance?

Even if I did know mister, I couldn't tell you. I'd.... I'd end up dead.

Robert begins to place the money back into his pocket when the homeless man leaps from the steps waving his hands

Wait!! I can find out for you! I'd rather have a last meal and die than continue starving.


We have a large network under the streets where we live. I can go and see what I can find out for you. Wait right here I’ll be back in a few.

Underground? Like the Teenage Mutant Turtles? Tell Master Splinter hello!

The homeless man looks at Robert. The only thing Robert can do is shrug mouthing “he’s nuts” pointing in Drew’s direction. Robert takes a seat on the steps watching the homeless man disappear into an alley.

Think this will work?

All we can do is wait and see Bobby! What's the worst thing that can happen to us? The Mob will kill us if we don't succeed. For all, we know this Locksley person might whack us off? At this point who knows? I just need to be whacked off!

Jesus can you for one-second concentrate on the task at hand, and not your dick? How’s your head?

Good….Good…. So, Bob what do you think about what Jessalyn had to say?

What is there to say honestly. The damn woman is off her rocker for sure. One second she’s all aboard the APEX train and the next she’s running it off the tracks. This is what Ozzy might have been talking about right here. At first you rode the APEX dick so hard Drew and I nearly exploded in our britches. Don’t get any ideas either a fifth of bourbon wouldn’t change my mind. Or Drew.. I think. Drew might! I don’t know… Nothing like a transgendered person getting confused about something they have no idea about. Those promos where was trash. Complete and utter waste of time. Just like her roster spot here in XWF. Dead weight!

Robert makes a jerking off motion

Nothing like showing some respect then flipping. Jessalyn sweetheart, pumpkin pie, as I Just mentioned. That’s one of the reasons gender matters around here because you obviously have zero control over your emotions and if you honestly believe what you said then your more like Chris Chaos than anyone else around XWF. Both of you are bipolar bitches switching between spreading love and spewing hate. Anyone confused yet? If so raise your hands? Jesus, pop a few Midol and relax..

Drew slowly raises his hand unsure if Robert was asking a legitimate question or not

”Me man me strong”? Jesus Christ… Where’s Wayne Brady when you need a bitch choked?

By the way you know you look like the funny papers took a shit covered in those cheap tattoos. Got off track there for a second…. My apologies. The two of you being women has nothing to do with anything. Nothing at all. This has nothing to do with sexism. It’s amazing how the two of you stuck up millennial snowflake bitches view everything in life. Did Drew and I offend you? Do we need our safe place? Or better yet do you need aromatherapy, an emotional support animal maybe? Drew's got an emotional support brick he can smack you upside the head with.. Triggered much because you both are showing symptoms. Here you are arguing a point no one besides the two of you made. I’m sorry we were not raised to be women beaters. But hey we’ll make an exception for this contest, someone needs to knock the stupid out of the two of you. Might as well be APEX. So, do us a favor thunder thigh’s and take a few steps back from the ledge. Step off the soap box and climb down from the ivory tower and meet us here in the real world.

Robert chuckles

As far as having dick’s between our legs.. Yeah, two big swinging ones neither one of you will ever have the pleasure of puffing. That right there isn’t the reason we are going to dismantle the two of you. There is another rationalization… It because we are better wrestlers than either one of you. It’s a logical thought, you know common sense. Something neither one of you have. You claim the only reason we were granted this match was because I’m Universal Champion! Management granted us this match because I demanded it. Wrong again sugar tits. We got the shot because we are white privileged. Wait... No... We’re racist….. Nope…. N.A.Z.I.’S…. No…. Your partner accepted my challenge, you pay attention to the minor details don’t you Jessalyn. As far as us not earning a shot… Little history lesson… Pay attention and you might just learn why the two of you are up shit creek.

We won Wargames…. We were the number one contenders long before the two of you blockheads ever thought about tagging. Drew went into a coma and I didn’t have a tag partner. We never got our opportunity. Then you actually have the nerve to say that the two of you worked your asses off to get where you are today? Really?.... What made the two of you “deserve” a championship shot at Gilmour and Mc Bride? How did the two of you “earn anything? You didn’t.. You did just what I did, you simply asked. By the way, thumping Gilmour and Mc Bride isn’t working your asses off. It takes minimal effort. Hell, I wouldn’t even call it effort.. We didn’t force anyone into making this match, there was no badgering, we were not entitled. I politely asked. So take all of this hypocrite talk and shove it up your twats.

Robert flips off the camera

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I was gone two months… Two months and I’m getting shit for leaving.. Do I not have the right to some personal time off to enjoy other things? I left setting records. Longest reigning Hart Champion in XWF history ring any bells? Oh, and by the way let me set the record straight Jessalyn since you seem to get very bewildered from time to time. I didn’t just show up and get a title shot at The Engineer. Now pay attention.

Robert snaps his fingers like he’s trying to get the attention of a dog

Over here… We good? Okay.. Engy wanted me in the ring. He wanted to face the unrivaled Robert Main. There was no one else to wrestle, there was no prominent opponent left. It was always going to be the way it turned out Robert Main - vs - The Engineer, and yeah, he did beat me 1,2,3! Engy is and will always be the only man to ever defeat me in the ring. After the match, I decided now was the time to cash in. I had an ace in the hole. I told Engy for weeks’ time was up. One way or another, I was walking out as Universal Champion. I wanted him to know it was coming. And it did. Every single person in the arena knew what was going to transpire after the bell sounded. I lost fair and square. The issue was I still had gas in the tank and The Engineer was running on empty. So yes, I took advantage. Look at all the other cash-ins before me. I am the only man to do it the way I did. I told him to his face. He saw it coming and didn’t prepare himself. That is on him.

My music didn’t hit after he had a grueling match.. I did all of the heavy lifting, no one helped me across the finish line. I went out there and took everything from Engy one chair shot at a time all on my own. I didn’t ride any one’s coattails. I did this, and no matter how you break it down in your simple mind. I’m fucking Champion! Three times in nearly 3 years I’ve been overcome. That’s it. That’s why you cannot conquer us. We simply don’t lose.

Bob, here he comes


What is diversity

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Current: W- Drew Archyle & James Raven as- APEX
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Former & Longest Reigning: In XWF history x-2
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Trio's Champion W- AX3
Winning Team War Games 2017 W-APEX
Leap Of Faith Winner 2018
Mr. 24/7
July 2018 Superstar Of The Month
December 2018 Superstar Of The Month
December 2017 Superstar Of The Month
Roleplay of the Month February 2019 "Junkyard Dog"
Winning Team War Games 2019 W- APEX PROPHECY
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