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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
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Joachim Bright Offline
Heart on his sleeve



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#1
08-15-2018, 05:28 PM

We open inside one of the immaculate aisles of a Bed, Bath, and Beyond where Joachim and his boyfriend Taye are embarking on that gayest of gay past times: buying drapes. Taye grabs a couple packages of drapes, holding them side by side for comparison.

Mauve, or cerulean?

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were color blind.

Jo grabs both packages and tosses them over his shoulders.

Damn, somebody woke up extra catty.

Mauve though? Sometimes I feel like I don't even know you!

Taye rolls his eyes and they keep walking down the aisle, perusing listlessly.

So I've been thinking about my big match with one half of the tag team champs, Sebasstian Dyke.

Taye makes a grossed out face. You have, huh?

I have. And you know what? I think Sebasstian might be on the team.

Taye looks at Jo incredulously. You CANNOT mean....?

Jo looks back at him, throwing his arms out for emphasis. All the signs are there. Ambiguous same sex life partner? He's got one. Dyke right in his name? Check. I've even heard rumors that he has a dick AND a pussy. The guy's rocking elements of being gay, lesbian, and intersex. Yeah Taye, I'm pretty sure he's one of us. Part of the....

[Image: il_570xN.1444132221_9r0m.jpg?version=1]

Taye marvels. Wow.

I know, right? I mean granted, he's not the BEST representative, but for better or for worse, he's one of ours. That being said.... Jo looks right at the camera. Would it KILL you to show up to a meeting once in a while? When it comes to incorporating a covert global homosexual agenda, every vote counts man! We've made some serious policy decisions recently. We revoked Jared Kushner's membership for reasons of general douchiness. We declared Cher's birthday a national Gay holiday, and we named the Bichon Frise the official dog breed of the LGBTQ community. Oh, plus all the usual secret cabalistic political maneuvering and conspiring, blah...blah, the boring stuff.

Bring Bilbo too. We love Bilbo, in a “keeping ten feet away at all times” kinda way. Kidding...kidding!
Jo's face looks strained, like he's not completely kidding. Taye walks off camera, clearly drawn by something on display, and Jo presses on. In all seriousness though, you guys have been getting a lot of attention. The tag team championships are a pretty big deal. Now granted, most of the chatter backstage is that you guys winning them was a fluke. But I honestly don't think so. I mean, wasn't a former member of BX3 the Universal champion at one time?! You guys have a pedigree! Plus, you even outlasted the faction you were parodying. That's gotta count for something, right?

So yeah, as a fellow member of the rainbow coalition, I'm willing to cut you some slack and give you the benefit of the doubt. And who knows, maybe one day I'll be a big enough name here that you'll troll me like you did Sebastian Duke and
[REDACTED, FINE OF $500 ALREADY ASSESSED]. I wonder what my parody name would be. Hmmm....oh, I know! BLOWHIM BRIGHT.

Taye chimes in from off camera. Ehhhhhh.....

You got a better one?

B.J. Gobbledick.

Jo screw faces in Taye's direction. That doesn't even....nevermind. Did you pick out some drapes yet?

Taye returns with some more subtle colors this time. Joachim picks the creamy off white, much to Taye's dissapointment. BOR-ING!

I'm paying. My choice. He returns his attention to the camera once again. So anyhow, I'm actually looking forward to this match, believe it or not. Things got pretty dour with Chris Chaos. I needed a little levity in my life. Which, again, isn't to say I'm not taking you seriously....

Taye silently mouths “he's not” behind Jo's back while shaking his head “no”.

But well, you know. And who knows, if Chris grows a pair and we end up teaming up in an “ultimate odd couple” kinda way, I could be seeing you AGAIN real soon. To take those tag team championships. But with Chris Chaos as my partner. He frowns. Yeah, it's not exactly a decisive win there.

They reach the register and hand over the drapes. The cashier rings them up and Joachim slides his card through the reader. The gum chewing cashier smacks her Bubblemint and casually informs him that his card was declined.

What? I had like 500 bucks left in there!

Taye sighs and steps in to pay for the drapes himself. Jo turns back to the camera. Ugh! I gotta get this shit sorted out. We'll talk again soon though brother. Jo makes a complicated hand sign for the camera that kind of looks like a sea gull in flight, and then an undulating ocean wave, followed by the sign language signs for “broken lamp”. No doubt the secret hand signal for the Gay Agenda. Then, setting his features in a more serious countenance he stabs his pointer finger at the camera. MEETINGS!

END!

[Image: barbed_wire_through_my_heart_by_tripwire_d.jpg]pin
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Rain (08-16-2018)




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