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Shit on the ceiling and pot smoke in his lungs... (rp1)
08-09-2018, 09:20 AM
Post: #1



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"Fuck! There's shit on the ceiling!"


"What??!!??"


Donovan Blackwater never anticipated Abigail to ever exclaim such a thing over the phone to him. Yes, he was well aware of the fact that she was a plumber and naturally, he understood that when one works in that sort of field, the possibility of encountering disgusting or downright revolting scenarios, should be a given. Still, knowing what there was to expect and having it presented to you, out of the blue, were two entirely different things. One can comprehend that a living being is capable of pooping but that doesn't mean that someone is ready to see shit flying out of an asshole like a fire hose.


"There's shit. All over the ceiling. How is that even possible? The toilet is completely busted too. It's like the thing exploded and erupted like a shit volcano, at the same time. Nothing human could have caused this to happen."


"So now there's exploding, shit monsters, loose in the city?"


Donovan chuckled as he did his best to cope with the foul information that was being relayed to him over the phone. He was dating a plumber, after all. Besides, it had to be a million times worse, for her. She was there, while he was safe in the confines of his office. Far, far away from... destroyed toilets and shit coated ceilings. A scream from Abigail, drew another laugh from him as he pushed away from his desk and leaned back in his swivel chair. He knew it was pointless to attempt any sort of work, while he conducted this conversation, so he decided to not even bother. Instead he reached into the top left side drawer of his desk, retrieved a lighter and a bowl; that had only been hit once since it was freshly packed that morning, and hit that shit like only Donovan Blackwater would... like a boss. Not that he was actually a boss. In truth, he was only an accountant and investment consultant for the firm, but that didn't stop him from hitting that shit like a boss.


"What happened?"


"You don't want to know."


Exhaling a cloud of smoke, Donovan placed the bowl and lighter onto his desk and turned his focus to the window. It was a nice day out. Nothing but blue skies, sunshine and birds chirping. His office had a great view and he earned it by being the best at what he did. He was beyond successful. He also smoked pot. Helped with the anxiety issues that he's dealt with since he was very young. Yet that's a story for another day.


"Tell me. Come on. I'm already invested in the disaster site that you're working in. You can't leave me hanging like that. I need to know what happened. Did an exploding, shit monster return to make sure that the job was complete? Come on babe, talk to me."


"No."


Abigail groaned.


"Gravity started happening."


Donovan gasped and tried his best to stifle the laugh that wanted to escape him.


"Oh no. Should I even bother asking?"


He grabbed the bowl, deciding that coughing was better than laughing, at that point and took another hit.


"I managed to escape the confines of the bathroom, feces free. That was a close one though. I don't think I can handle going back in there."


Releasing a cloud of smoke, Donovan shoved his bowl and lighter back into the drawer and shut it. A slight cough fought its way out into the open. That was a good hit.


"So don't. Tell one of your brothers to do it."


"Then that makes me a wimp."


"Clearly, I'm a wimp cause there's no way, I'd ever even entertain the idea of working on a bathroom, with shit splattered ceilings and toilets that were blown to pieces."


"I've seen worse."


"No you haven't. Don't say that. Or you'll force me to leave work early, so that I can rescue you from the nightmare, that's your career. I'll do it too. Don't call my bluff."


With a grin, Abigail looked down and shuffled away from the horror show of a bathroom, that she just encountered.


"Which career would you save me from, cause I technically have two.


"Yeah, well you work as a plumber, considerably more often, than you work as a wrestler."


"I've got a gig wrestling this Saturday. I'm facing Calypso. It's a title shot too."


"Impressive. Maybe you can mix things up and focus on that as your main career."


"You mean, you'd prefer the idea of me getting into a wrestling ring and fighting for my paycheck, over me being a plumber?"


"It's definitely better than hearing about you barely escaping shit falling from the ceiling. Besides, you've done it before and from what I saw, you handled yourself pretty well in a fight."


"You looked up my match in the XWF?"


"Yes. I looked up your match. I wanted to see what I was dealing with."


"What you were dealing with?"


"I didn't know you that well and you mentioned the XWF. So I was curious."


"Curious about what you were dealing with?"


"Obviously, I didn't think anything bad about what I seen cause I'm talking to you right now, aren't I?"


"Yeah."


"I had to make sure, that I wasn't getting involved or invested in something that was... I don't know, potentially dangerous."


Abigail broke out laughing.


"Well I'm glad that you deemed me safe."


"Safe enough."


A short pause.


"Anyway, my brother Raphael is a personal trainer. I bet he'd work with you for free, just to say that he was training someone from the XWF."


"Your brother, Raphael?"


"I told you I had two brothers. I know I mentioned it before. I'm part of a set, actually. Triplets. Fraternal triplets, but triplets, nonetheless. Raphael is a personal trainer and Ezra is a computer technician and software engineer."


"Donovan, Raphael and Ezra Blackwater. Interesting. Would you be there, when I meet this personal trainer, brother of yours?"


"Absolutely. You can meet both of my brothers, tonight if you want, that is... if you're free. We usually grab a drink on Thursday nights and catch up. It's sort of our way to stay connected, outside of phone calls or texts. We're kind of close like that. I blame sharing cramped quarters, before we were born."


"Wait. This isn't something that I should worry about, is it? For instance, say that one of them doesn't like me. I don't need to overthink things and assume that he'll talk to your parents and make them hate me too, right?"


A slight smile crossed Donovan's face, if only she knew. There was a part of him that instinctively wanted to open up to her, yet there was so much about his past, that she wouldn't understand. Few would comprehend. No, some secrets, were meant to stay secrets. For now anyway.


"No. It's nothing like that. Even if it were, the extent of my entire family... is my two brothers. I never knew my father, aside from that fact that he vanished and well, I don't speak to my mother. The worst thing that might happen is that I could get pulled aside and questioned about the status of my mental health, when I decided that it was a good idea to go out with you."


Donovan spoke quickly, interrupting before Abigail had a chance to speak.


"I don't think that will happen though. I'm pretty sure they'll think you're amazing."


"How can you be so sure?"


"Cause I think you're amazing and if they have an issue with that, they'll have to deal with it, on their own terms cause I'm not prepared to end things with you, to make them feel comfortable. So they better think you're amazing."


Donovan wanted to reassure her. To let her know that there wasn't a need for concern. Allowing his eyes to drift to the ceiling, he attempted to do just that.


"I really don't think you need to worry about that though. I know my brothers and they don't walk into a setting, prepared to auto-hate anyone. If anything, Ezra will have some useless trivia to share and offer to fix your phone. Which would basically consist of him reprogramming it and installing software, that he designed. He did it for all our phones. The software shields your phone, while allowing it to run normally. As it always has. With the exception that your phone won't ever be able to be tracked, traced or get hacked and it runs a lot smoother, faster and easier, than usual. I'm always using my phone, so I noticed a huge difference. You don't have to go along with any of this but he will definitely attempt to sway you otherwise, so be prepared for that. And Raph, will probably make random jokes and social commentary, that's far more entertaining than what it sounds like it would be, I promise you. He won't get really talkative until he finds out that you wrestle for the XWF. Then he will definitely dominate the conversation. He knows what he's talking about though and means well."


"What will you be doing through all this?"


"Crossing my fingers and hoping my brothers don't overwhelm you and scare you away."


"Really? You obviously, don't remember what one of the first texts that you sent me, entailed."


With a hand swiftly passed through his hair, Donovan felt a little caught off guard.


"I'm fairly certain my first text to you was me confirming your address."


"That's why I said one of your first texts to me and not, your very first text to me, ever. I'm talking about the one you sent to me, the day after our first date."


"Okay, I remember that, I might have been a little high... but I remember. I also remember there was nothing about the text, that was weird."


Abigail heard his soft, snicker through his words.


"You asked me... if I thought it was possible for you to train an army of chipmunks, to do your bidding?"


"Yeah, there's nothing strange about that. You gave me some really good advice too. You said anything was possible but that I should remember, that with great power, comes great responsibility. I'm incredibly thankful for those words of wisdom cause I didn't take into account the cost of providing for a chipmunk army. On top of that, where would they stay? It'n not like they could live in my apartment. You essentially saved me from a potential catastrophe."


"So no more chipmunk army, for you then?"


"Oh no, there will definitely be a chipmunk army, one day. I just need to convince someone, to feed and take care of them, for me. You know, really be there and support them. Encourage them to be the best chipmunks that they can be, console them when they're feeling down, read them bedtime stories, fetch them tiny glasses of water in the middle of the night, stuff like that. I have to work, so I can't devote that much time and effort, to this project. I'm hoping by the time that I get them, all I have to do is blow a whistle and point, and they'll simply know to do my command."


She couldn't help it, he got to her and drew from her, a boisterous, laugh.


"And you're worried that your brothers are going to scare me away?"


"I already know that I didn't scare you off because there's quite a few things that happened between us, that wouldn't have went down, if that were the case. Unless mentally unstable men, are your thing."


"Only you."


Donovan was definitely a dork. A trait that was very uncharacteristic, to his appearance. He had this knack for saying things with a straight face, that few could muster the ability or courage to say. Really off the wall stuff. He maintained a monotone, sort of proper sounding, pompous drone through it, straight on till the end. However, this was depending on how much weed he smoked beforehand, cause he could either totally pull it off or give himself away, completely. By breaking into laughter. She knew that he smoked weed at work but she figured that it combated the stress. What Abigail didn't get was how he dealt with his work and wasn't a total douche, that took himself, way too seriously. Like many in his profession seemed to be. He wasn't like that though. Sure, on the outside he could be perceived, in that sense. He wore expensive suits and drove a luxury car but beneath all that, there was so much more. Quite literally. For who would ever expect him to have, two sleeves of tattoos beneath that suit?


"Hey, are you going to talk on the phone all day, or are you going to actually do some work?"


Abigail's brother, Kevin abruptly interrupted her thoughts and she immediately, turned towards him.


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"I think... I'm going to sit this one out, Kev."


"What the fuck? Are you serious?"


"Yeah, I'm not feeling it today. I think I need a break from all this."


"You're quitting? Now? When we're working on an entire hotel?"


"I don't know. Maybe."


"Dad's not going to be happy about this, you know that, right? He's going to be fucking pissed."


"He'll get over it."


"Well, what the fuck am I supposed to tell him, when he asks why you left in the middle of a job?"


"Tell him, I decided to focus on my other career."


With that, Abigail walked past her brother and out of the building. Still on the phone with Donovan, she continued onward towards her car as she heard him ask...


"Did you just do what I think you did?"


"That depends. If you think I left my job to help you raise a chipmunk army, you'd be wrong."


"Awww... come on, that's a sound move, career wise and I'd be so happy."


"No."


"Fine. I guess this means you're going to focus solely on the wrestling then?"


"Yeah, I think that seems like a solid choice, at the current moment."


"Then, I'll see you tonight?"


"Yes. You'll see me tonight."


"Cool. I'll pick you up around 8pm."


"See you then."


With that Abigail hung up the phone. A goofy, smile plastered on her face, she felt good about the future. Especially, seeing Donovan, later tonight.

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