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The League Of Extraordinaryly Shitty Partners
Author Message
Sebasstian Dyke Offline
Muddy Waters is afraid of me.
TITLE - Tag Champion



XWF FanBase:
Hardly anyone to be honest

(booed by most fans; hurts people even when not supposed to; often angry and shitty)


Post: #1
08-03-2018 06:52 PM

The following announcement has been paid for by the Trump For America 2020 Re-Election Campaign.



The scene: Some shitty burned out building in the sketchy part of town. You know which part, the kind on the wrong side of the tracks.

Inside the burned out building is a double mattress on the floor covered in stains. God only knows what those stains are. A few feet from the mattress is Bilbo Blumpkinz currently fellating himself while sitting in his new turbo charged wheelchair.

That's right, once you become an XWF champion you get all kinds of perks like turbo charged wheelchairs.

Seated at a small wooden table by himself is Sebasstian Dyke and off in the corner making dinner is Ghost Tank. The leader of BX3 wanted to cook up something nice in honor of his boys winning the tag team titles.


So.........................................Micheal Graves.............wants to face us again. Apparently losing to us two times already isn't embarrassing enough. Fine. If this guy wants to essentially give me a week off while still getting paid who am I to say no?

And to prove to the world just how much of a masochist he is he even offered, no, begged us to not only pick his partner but he wanted us to control his fate after the match. Which, I'm telling you right here and right now Micheal, after we beat you again you are absolutely getting fired. That is how this will end for you. Now I may or may not tie you to a shower head in the bathroom and let the entire roster take your asshole for a ride first but you will definitely be at the Unemployment Line come Monday morning.

Now as for the little issue of your partner I talked to big daddy Tank and we came up with a list of some people that we think will make this match even easier for us.

But i'm not just gonna pick a name, no that would be too easy. Me and Bilbo, we are happy with whoever among our list ends up as your partner so what I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna down these 21 shots of Vokda and Urine. That's right unrine. I like to drink urine because I like the taste.

After I drink those shots Tank here is going to spin me around in this chair and then I am going to pick up this bloody knife that I found in the dumpster out back and I am going to throw it at the wall which has the photos of all your potential partners on it. Whichever one get's the knife will then get the opportunity to get their ass kicked along side you.

Ok here we go...


Dyke reaches down for the first show, grabs it with his right hand, brings it up to his lips and downs it. He does it again with the second shot glass and then the third, the fourth and so on and so forth until all 21 are now empty.

Tank then walks over from the small little hot plate he was cooking on and with both hands spins Dyke's chair around as hard as he can. The chair does 105, no 145 full rotations before finally coming to a stop.

Dyke tries to stand up but quickly loses his balance and stumbles forward. He grabs the small table with both hands and uses the table to help him stand up. He then reaches forward his hands somewhat shaky and grabs the bloody knife. He points the knife towards and the wall, rears back and throws...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!


The knife that only a moment was in Dyke's hand is now sticking out of Bilbo's leg, blood spurting out from the sides of the wound.


OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!! Bilbo! Baby! Are you ok? PULL IT OUT!! PULL IT OUT!!

Well that's the first time you've ever said that to me. Bilbo says as he reaches down and with both of his mangled hands yanks the knife out and then tosses it to the ground as blood starts squirting out a cock that's blowing it's load for the first time in a week. It only takes a few seconds before Bilbo passes out from the blood loss. Tank runs over, removes the apron he had been wearing and wraps it around Bilbo's wound.

Well the good news is his leg's don't work anyway so no harm no foul. Anyway where was I? Oh right. The wall of shame!

Dyke reaches down and picks up the extra bloody knife off the ground, points it back towards the wall, rears back and throws....







[Image: portiaperez1.png]







Wait...who the fuck is this gash?


Dyke walks over to the wall and yanks the picture off of it and reads the caption on the back.

"Vita Valenteen - New To XWF - Also 17."

16...oh this is perfect. The reformed pedo partnering with a child. This has B list movie written all over it.

Well Graves that's your partner. Should she tell you to go fuck yourself because you are a creepy old guy who only likes to play in the field when there's no grass on it then you'll have to face us all by yourself. Which is basically like having Cadryn as a partner so it's probably not that unfamiliar for you.

See you on the 11th bitch.


Fade to man on man love.

Other "Awesome" Partners Considered:

Chris Chaos because Ax3 lol
Peter Gilmour because lol
Drezdin because Drezdin
Cadryn because why 3rd time's a charm right? Prob not.
Ghost Tank because 3 on 1 bitch.

[Image: AoQnIJt.jpg]

[Image: JlTCiVS.jpg]

Forever Federweight Champ
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"Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves
Unregistered



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


Post: #2
08-03-2018 07:23 PM

"Vita Valenteen?

Really?

That's the worst that you could do?

Come on guys!

You could have teamed me with Peter Gilmour, or better yet, Drezdin, or Random, or... or... What about the worst partner of all, Cadryn? Instead you pick a rook and think that is somehow going to hinder my ability to mop the floor with you clowns? At least the other guys are so bad that they would definitely find a way to cost me the match. Screwing up is about the only thing any of them are good for, but this new girl? For all you know she could be the biggest ass kicker in the XWF today, and even if she's not, I'm sure that she's at least competent enough to put away a couple of cripple bitches like the two of you!

Anyway...

Listen Vita, I know your new, and this is going to be your what, first match in the XWF? I'm not asking for much. Stand on the apron and let me do all the work. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, hop in the ring and beat the shit out of a couple of tards. Anyone can do it... Anyone except for Peter Gilmour, Drezdin, Random, and Cadryn...

But you aren't any of those guys, so we should be cool!"
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VV
Unregistered



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


Post: #3
08-04-2018 06:59 AM

”Wait, What?”

.

.

.

“MY VERY FIRST MATCH IS GOING TO BE A TITLE MATCH!!!”

“Ummm, so yeah, I’M IN!!!”
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N.A.Z.I Offline
Sieg Heil!



XWF FanBase:
Hardcore, psycho fans

(cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)


Post: #4
08-04-2018 10:19 AM

"Shenanigans. She's a plant just like Courtney Cox in a Bruce Springsteen video."

[Image: TFPUdLV.jpg]
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Sebasstian Dyke Offline
Muddy Waters is afraid of me.
TITLE - Tag Champion



XWF FanBase:
Hardly anyone to be honest

(booed by most fans; hurts people even when not supposed to; often angry and shitty)


Post: #5
08-04-2018 12:07 PM

If I wanted a plant I'd just pick a gaping asshole like Gilmour cause if there is one thing he is good for and I mean that literally it's his uncanny ability to make life easier for his opponents.


[Image: AoQnIJt.jpg]

[Image: JlTCiVS.jpg]

Forever Federweight Champ
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