One!

Two!

Three!

"It's over! It's over! By-Gawd he's done it! Calypso is the XWF Television Champion! The boyhood dream has come true for Calypso!"

I knew he wasn't there, but inside my head it was all I could hear. Jim Ross on the sidelines ranting and raving, hopping up and down in his seat, celebrating my victory along with me. The no-good puttana, Jenny Myst and her protege, Mr. Myst, tried not only ruining my day, but jeopardized the entire fate of the city itself. Everything depended on walking out of Savage the Television Champion.

And talk about stealing someone's thunder, too, right? Pricks. You're lucky the sherrif and her posse came running down or its YOU three that would have been hurting. Not Calypso. I'm on a roll, if you can't tell, and it's going to take more than a pussy and her two sisters to put any type of halt to that. I'd get some stronger pepper spray, too, Jenny. After being sprayed with every different kind several times over again over a lifetime, you grow a tiny bit of immunity to them. Not saying I deserved it any of those times, but sorry, your tactics were flawed.

What were you two doing out there anyway? It just goes to show that you have no faith in yourselves or anyone else you associate with. It was plain as day when you were partnered with Peter. Now that you've traded the Mr. Xtreme for Mr. Xtremist, you're doing the same thing. Interfering in matches, causing drama, and looosing. I heard Jenny crying during Warfare last night about it. You're one to talk, too, you know. I don't see a Bombshell Title wrapped atop your pudgy little muffin.

After my celebration was totally ruined by those three jerks, I took off backstage when the cops showed up. Apparently, there's some type of heated contronversey going between the person that runs the show and them. I understand Chaos's thing is, well, causing chaos.... But geez guy. That fiddle is a bit worn out, don't you think? Don't get me wrong, it was cool when you first showed up here. It's like after every commercial the show come back with you setting something on fire or something.... But anymore you're like that prankster at work that everyone hates. The guy that would hide your insulin or inhaler. The guy that would put hot pepper flaikes on your sandwich while you weren't looking on a day you forgot your heart medicine. Just... Go away dude. Jerk.

When I got to the backstage area I ran straight for the car, jumped in, and got the hell out of there. Mission accomplished. I left my bag and other stuff there, because hey, I'll be back next week right? I drove back to the hotel and with my newly won prize, took a cold shower wearing it around my waist. What an exhilerating feeling it was. I never slept so good in my entire life that night. Satisfaction. Accomplishment. Like I stated so many times over before, I focused on only things I could control... And the results took care of themselves. I am the XWF Television Champion!

The next morning, Rita was already blowing up my phone. Back to work, I thought, all that fun stuff; interviews, autograph signings, appearances. Line 'em up, baby. Calypso is ready.

"Talk to me, m'lady!"

I answer the phone and blast over the line like the brightest ray of sunshine.

"Mornin'! Great job last night! I knew you had it in you!"

"No thang! I told you I'd get it done! There was a lot riding on that match last night!"

"How do you feel, Champ? Are you ready to start living like one?"

"Sure am. I've already looked over some real estate... I didn't want to dive too deep into the market before hand, because who knew for sure what was going to happen. You seen?"

"I sure did. Those slimy bastards got another thing comin' though if they think they can get away with all of this. This is your show now, kid, you're the champ!"

"I am the champ!"

"I've got a few things lined up before your next title defense this week. We'll talk more about it tomorrow. Today, you rest up! Enjoy your victory and treat yourself!"

Don't say that. Cheesecake is one of my cheats and I've recently gave-in. I can't slip-up again. I know what you're thinking... Cheesecake? I thought you were vegan. No worries, I have a recipe that's 100% vegan.

"Who is my next defense against?"

"Random."

Wut.

"Like, it's random?"

"No. The guy. He won the #1 Contenders Match the same night you won the title.
His name is Random."

Oh.

"Oh. Oh, that guy?"

"Know him then?"

"Know OF him. I honestly didn't know he was still around."


"Confident? The guy can't be too much hype if you didn't even know he was around."

"Sure I am. I'm on a mountain right now that God himself couldn't knock me off of."

I draw a crucifix on my chest and throw a smooch and a wink upward.

"Okay, great! Talk to you tomorrow."

And she was gone. Click. Not even a goodbye, all business... all the time. I wonder what other stuff she had lined up for me that could wait to tell me. What? I can't know my own schedule? Oh well, can't control that. Not focusing on it. What I WILL focus on is basking in some more of this super fine glory!

But I couldn't.

I'm not sure if it was just the thrill of winning that was still flowing through me, or maybe it was the stress of knowing now that I can truly take responsibility for saving this city. Even if I was told to relax, tonight would be the night that I finally step out from the shadows and let people know that there is hope. And for those you stand against justice, they will know that there is no longer a place for them. I stand proudly as the new found savior of Hollywood.

What's important, though, is to keep this going. Winning the title was only the first thing, defending is now top priority. I can't go losing it right after I start stomping crime and find a new pad on the strip. So priority numero uno, was keeping this thing around my waist. First test? Random.

I've seen the guy around, for sure. He shows up randomly. In random attire. Everything about the guy is random. Even where he lives. He kind of sounds like a piece of crap, to be honest.... I mean, what kind of get-up is this? Is the guy just indecisive or plain lazy? I'm going to go with the latter. Pure laziness. Why choose something and stick with it when you could just wing it over and over and over again.

I did some back tracking, research, if you will.  I didn't go far, just last week when he beat Cate Indigo for a shot at this precious piece if gold.  The guy says he is tired if fighting scrubs in opening bouts.  He's over it!  Well, dude, have you tried just NOT being a scrub fighting in opening matches?  From what I have been able to tell, you're the only one keeping you there.  Remember how I was just talking about laziness?  Well, actually TRYING is half the battle, bro.  Look what happened after just ONE week of showing up and doing something....

POOF

You're in the main event on Savage fighting for a title.  Amazing.

Now, just imagine if you put a little bit more thought in how you represent yourself.  Dude, even your sexuality seems random.  Which is fine, it is 2018 and there is a ton more weirder things going on in this world....  I just don't know why you're out to exploit it so much.  Nobody cares if you'd rather gnaw on a carrot then rip into a juicy peach.  Well, except maybe the carrot, but I digress.

Put all that random junk together in one, hand-made wicker basket along with this random opportunity you've been given.  I know you're super stoked, dude, and I know you think this is probably your moment coming up....  but you thought wrong.  You were sick of the bottom?  Calypso wouldn't know what that was like...  Remember, in my debut I defeated the monster of all munsters, Ghost Tank....  so, if anything at all, I started in the middle.  But, that doesn't mean that I didn't have to fight, tooth and nail, scraping and crawling the rest of the way to the top.  I was born for this moment and it is going to take something a lot more than just a random encounter to take it away from me.  More is riding on this than you will ever know.  What was just a random opportunity like you have here, has blossomed into something more beautiful than the gluten-free pastries I seen on display in a bakery just down the block.  Man, focus Calypso...  I knew I shouldn't have had that cheese cake...

Sigh.

Anyway, duty calls.  It's finally time to start shining some light on this darkness in the City of Stars....

Super hero pose : Engaged.