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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
Bring me to Life
Author Message
The Engineer Offline
Man of Peace



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#1
07-03-2018, 05:57 PM

ENGY RECAP!

A couple matches ago, Engy was being a smartass and went in to buy a coffin because he said Drezdin was gonna kill him.

That...that's it really.


The tangle of bells above the door give a delightful little jingle, a strange counterpoint to the scene rolling in the door. Six of the Engineer's white robed hooded cultists are carrying a casket pall bearer style through the door into a shop that, well, sells caskets. In fact, the shop looks more than a little familiar because it's the same casket shop Engy walked into a couple matches ago. Didn't you read the recap?

The cultists bring the casket right up to the counter, much to the consternation of the man behind it.

Excuse me, what are you doing with that?

The lid to the casket gets thrown open, bonking all the cultists on that side of the casket on the head. They grit through the pain and don't drop their master. The proprietor however takes a step back in surprise. Engy pops up out of the casket. We're bringing it back of course. Turns out I lived!

The man considers the hooded men nervously. Look I don't want any trouble with the Ku Klux....

One of the cultists groans beneath his hood. Seriously?! We're not the KKK! Jesus, if I had a quarter for every time....

Relax Bobby. The gear IS kinda problematic....

Well be that as it may, we cannot accept any returns. The man points to a sign next to the register that clearly spells out their return policy.

Engy reaches over the lip of the coffin, causing the minions in the front to grunt under the stress of his shifting weight. Engy snaps up the sign and reads it carefully. But I didn't even use it!

I'm sorry sir, it's the law.

Engy petulantly drops the return policy on the floor. He crosses his arms in front of himself like a vampire, lays back down and closes the lid, and allows his minions to carry him back out the door, to the jingle of the bells once more.

Laterz....


Engy wipes the back of his hand across his brow, clearing the sweat and letting out an exhausted whoosh of air. He slumps down next to a headstone which reads “XWF Roster Credibility. DIED 2018”. In front of him is the fresh mound of dirt he's just placed atop the unreturnable casket. He stuffs the shovel in the fresh dirt before looking at the camera derisively. Look what you made me do! Now, I have to use this $10,000 casket to push through some ham fisted allegorical bullshit or waste all that money. Thanks Jackie!

You can see the progression of Engy's stages of realization as it occurs to him that this turn of events is not Jackie's fault. But that he doesn't care. So fuck Jackie Peppers! He frowns angrily at the end of this train of thought before stabbing a finger at the camera. You still got jokes, huh Jackie? Still got tits and ass and veiled shots at my creativity (which, news flash, pointing out that I did something similar to you all the while I also did it BETTER than you ain't helping your case). Still got that Jackie Peppers brand of cartoon antics and Merry Melodies for grown-ups patented zaniness. You know what you still don't have though?

A fucking prayer.

Jackie, has it occurred to you WHY I'm demanding you sound a certain way? Or WHY I'm insisting you take this seriously? Jackie, it's because you're gonna get MURKED if you don't! No..no....I take that back.


Engy draws in a deep breath, counting down from ten to one to return back to his zen place before proceeding.

You're not gonna get murked Jackie. I....I don't hate you. That treatment is reserved for the Chris Chaos' of the world. I'm just.....**sigh**....I'm frustrated, okay! I'm frustrated! I see the big picture here in the XWF and I just don't like it. He screws a thumb back at the gravestone, illustrating the text on it. Ya know, from the moment I started establishing myself as a force here in the XWF, time after time I've had the same shit thrown at me. “The roster's weak. You would never have reached these heights four years ago. Yadda, yadda, yadda.” And all that time I've defended myself by never backing down from a challenge. By telling the entire locker room to step right up and have themselves a piece. And I've done that. There's no shame in my record. The champ suddenly looks uncertain. But what if it's not ME that's the problem? What if it really is all of YOU? What if there is just no one left who can stop me?

You know, you'd be forgiven for making the assumption that I want that. That I want to be invincible. But I don't. Because the fact is, invincible is just bad for business. It's dull. It's boring. And from a purely selfish point of view (and let's be real, that's honestly the only point of view I actually give a shit about), life is just starting to lose some of it's.....je ne sais quoi. I'm starting to feel like every day is the same. I wake up. Throw on some clothes (maybe clean), eat some Frosted Flakes sprinkled with illicit substances, show up at the arena, effortlessly rock somebody's face off in the ring, fuck a hooker, pass out just before dawn, wash rinse and repeat.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that “clutching in the guts” uncertainty, that tingle in the spine, that subtle fear that keeps you feeling motivated and alive and on top of your game...it's just fucking gone man. And it's not because I'm overconfident. It's just because ya'all are just so..so...BAD AT THIS.


Engy runs a hand down his face in frustration, smearing his features with dirt.

So yeah Jackie, I DON'T hate you. I just desperately want you to be someone that's uhhhhhhh....not you? He speaks the words quizzically like he's not even sure they make sense. I want you to be someone who's gonna bring it to my doorstep, light it on fire, and when I go to stomp the shit, it's actually an IED that blows my leg off and I die. Is that better? Yes? No?

He throws his hands up in frustration.

I WANT YOU TO KICK MY ASS JACKIE! I want to be nervous again. I wanna be AFRAID! For the first time in months I want to walk into a match not being completely 100% assured that I'm walking out the winner. Which is why I'm so pissed off seeing you still cracking jokes and being a wise ass and pretending like this is just another midcard roll in the mud when it's not!

YOU ARE FACING THE MOTHERFUCKING UNIVERSAL CHAMPION! So act like it! At least PRETEND you want to win this. Because this?
He points to the lettering on the grave. This is not a grave I want to be digging. I gave up a run at being a United States senator to stay here in the XWF because whether I'm stupid or smart, sane or insane, fighting is the only thing in my life that has ever made complete sense to me. God knows the Choose Your Own Adventure book that is my life sure as SHIT doesn't.

So I ask you this again Jackie: Do you actually want to win this? Do you want to be more...be BETTER? Or are you okay with goofy mid-card hell? Because if so, you're not just burying your grave, you're burying the XWF's grave too. And I'm thinking you wouldn't get nearly the action you do if you weren't a big TV star so let's help the integrity of the XWF and it's employees stick around a bit, eh? Food for thought there bucko.


Engy considers the turned dirt a bit longer before speaking aloud one final time.

You're out there you know. My bane. My nemesis. The one who's finally gonna put me down. The question is.... He looks right at the camera. ....when are you gonna realize it?

Elsewhere...far...far away....


If a clap could be heard in the aching silence of space, the sound would quake through the light years. A black rock, massive in scale, hangs in perpetual limbo in the gravity wells of two singularities. The unsound is a crack forming in the ashen carapace of this thing, a seismic split in it's surface that abruptly streaks like lightning down it's length. A shard the size of the Earth's moon spins off and is caught by one of the singularities, pulled down into its timeless gullet where it is pulverized into literal nothingness.

And in that recess something stirs. Dread awakens.

[Image: cosmic_horror_by_noxinoen-d4sdaa4.png]

And it desires its Engineer.

[Image: 9QBn3eQ.jpg]





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