Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-29-2024, 02:59 AM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
It's Like A Petting Zoo Only You Don't Touch Them And They're All Just Cacti
Author Message
Jackie Peppers Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


#1
07-03-2018, 02:56 PM

[Image: sweden-flag-8x5.gif]


[Image: shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcQulytyVwC4Ib95ijZkD...-&usqp=CAE]


We open to see both of the flags that Jackie will be fighting for this Wednesday on the 4th of July. The screen goes dark, and we cut to see Jackie Peppers standing next to a trampoline. Next to him are Black Angus, Jackie's manager/trainer, and Bob Whiskey, legendary sparring partner for the stars. On the ground beside them is a keg.

Ulreet, lad, ye need ta treen! Git on dat trampoline widdat keg, and bounce around widdit!

I, uh, are you sure? It sure seems like nobody trains in the XWF, they just come out and make demands for you to sound a certain way, or that you need to take them seriously.

Angus rolls his eyes. He taps into his handle of whiskey as Bob Whiskey starts to lick the metal frame of the trampoline.

Das right, lad! Ye cun haf a hyuge edge around here if ye jus' treen!

Well then shouldn't we go to a gym or something for that? I get my daily three mile run in every morning before breakfast, which is usually leftover beans. Why don't you buy anything other than beans?

'Cause, lad, beans be the magical fruit!

Bob Whiskey farts as he gets on all fours and starts sniffing at the base of the trampoline. Angus farts and a mariachi band tumbles out from under his kilt. They abruptly dust themselves off and set to task playing La Cucaracha.

Hey, who are...

Coyotes, lad! Smuggled immigrants!

Oh, wow, are we being politically conscious? Because I feel like that's something a LOT of XWF stars are known for. I mean, I get it that the Universal Champion wants to flatter me by imitating what I do, I guess. Look at his last promo, crazy drunken elderly guy with no sense of dignity?

Angus is beaming at the mention.

Check.

Overbearing, almost bully-like figure that tells the star what to do almost on the regular?

Angus's grin widens as he takes a nip from his whiskey.

Check.

I mean, he even does the mist, you know? Only mine is real, and red, not silly and black. No wonder Engy wants me to 'get serious' or 'step my game up'. I've written a pure blueprint for him to follow, and he's worried about what his next step is, and he has no plan at all regarding that next step.

Lad, yer a rookie, he's been here for a while.

Yeah, like, a whole year, that's it! I guess while him and Dyson were keeping an eye on my career or something.

Nae, lad, ye didn't haf a treener 'til after ye had dat incident on de bridge!

Oooh, look, that was an accident!

Ye weren't at fault, lad.

Angus winks.

Ye weren't at fault at awl.

Damn it, Angus, this is getting ridiculous.

Bob picks up the entirety of the trampoline.

No, Bob, put that down!

Mine!

No!

You can't catch me!

Bob runs off with the trampoline. By runs off, he makes two full steps before tripping on his own two feet and falls, the trampoline up ending itself and the frame landing square on the back of his head. The trampoline then slowly falls backwards, topside down, onto Bob.

Ow.

Jeeze, Bob! Are you alright!

Jackie goes to pull the trampoline off of Bob, and Bob scrambles to his feet and grabs the trampoline.

MINE!

Bob again absconds with the trampoline, this time successfully, although he's only run about twenty feet and is still holding the trampoline, looking back at Jackie and Angus defiantly. Angus takes a nip of his whiskey.

Ugh. Angus, I really hate all of this.

Angus guffaws.

Lad, 'tis life! Haw haw!

Angus downs the remainder of his handle of whiskey then scampers off in a drunken wobble playing fetch with Bob. As he does, a man approaches Jackie. He's tall, stocky, and looks remarkably like Michael Jai White.

Uh, hi, are you with the fed or something?

The man closes his eyes and nods his head no.

Jahkie Pehpahs, I am heah on officialle boosiness. I am a Prince. I come from Nigeria.

His thick Nigerian accent and enunciation of English syllables catches Jackie off guards for a moment.

So, you're, uh, a Nigerian Prince?

Yes.

Look, I don't have a bank account, so I can't really...

No.

The man smiles, bemused by the established view of Nigerian Princes in the world.

I am here because you like boobs.

Boobs never get old. I don't care what Engy says, he was staring at a great rack earlier too. Boobs are classic.

I know, and I ahgree, Mistah Pehpahs. Howevah, you have forgotten the other parts of the whole, I believe.

A woman, bedecked in a gray Adidas outfit, approaches. She is carrying a black briefcase. She giggles at the sight of Bob and Angus, who are now both on the trampoline jumping around like little kids. She hands the black briefcase to the Nigerian Prince and then turns to Jackie.

[Image: Dunk3.gif]

Hi.

Uh, hi! Are you a princess?

No. I am a model.

Her accent is sweet and southern, somewhere between Georgia and Alabama.

Oh, well, that's cool!

Mistah Pehpahs, I have brought this girl along because although you love boobs, there has been a distinct lack of appreciation for the booty.

The booty?

The girl does a 180.

[Image: Dunk4.gif]

God damn!

Hah, that is right, Mistah Pehpahs. Now, since the complete package is tits and ass, I see no reason you should only carry the flag of Sweden into battle.

The Nigerian Prince opens his briefcase and pulls out a flag.

[Image: nigerias-national-flag-picture-id5072118...yeL1uhdU8=]

What flag is that?

The girl giggles while twerking. The Prince smiles.

It is the Nigerian flag, Mistah Pehpahs.

Yep.

The girl sashays.

[Image: giphy.gif]

And if you raise that flag on Wednesday night, you get to eat the booty like it was ice cream.

Bob and Angus stop hopping on the trampoline.

Ice cream? I want some!

Aye, gimme a scewp a' rum raisin!

No, guys, she was using a metaphor!

This is the XWF, we hate metaphors!

The Prince and the model giggle.

Well, Mistah Pehpahs, what will it be?

Jackie, without hesitation, his eyes fixated on the girl in front of him, speaks.

Two scoops of chocolate.

[Image: b0636a42c496442016fba4a851ce25be.gif]

The Nigerian Prince seems pleased at the fact that Jackie Peppers will be raising the novelty Scarecrow, the Swedish, and now the Nigerian flag, three whole separate flags, thus exerting three times the effort of the Engineer. The super hot girl continues to twerk. Angus and Bob break the trampoline as the actual upper bounce tears through all the springs, leaving both men crashing in a heap on the ground. A mountain lion pounces on Jackie.

[Image: giphy.gif]

Shit Just Got Jacked
Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 2 users Like Jackie Peppers's post:
Kid Kool (07-05-2018), The Engineer (07-03-2018)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)