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Chris Chaos · (06-25-2018)

I would be lying to you if I told you this isn't a moment I have been waiting for. I have been craving it like an addict craves that next hit. I have needed this moment. I have been putting X's through each calendar day leading up to this. I have been waiting for the moment when the person I hate the single most on this roster came back for another dip in the water, so I can take his entire leg off. I have been waiting for the moment when the only person on this roster who NEEDS Chris Chaos comes back for his hit, also. Bum fights, anyone?

But seriously, no time for joking around. This is a matter that I hold near and dear to my heart, or whatever heart I have left. This is a moment where I attempt to pick up the pieces that have been left behind, a crumbled mess that I have to put back together like an elementary school science project. This is the moment that will define my career, fuck everything else. All my titles, my Top 50 status, my record here, my condo, my Jeep, I would trade it all for this moment. If I could forever live just for this, I would. Old adages from times long forgotten talk about taking a pound of flesh, but I am not here for that. I am here for about 200 pounds of it. I am coming with everything I have until there is nothing left. If I lose, I want it to be because I died inside that ring.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to do this, and she looked at me skeptically. Her eyes showed excitement for a new opportunity, but her tone of voice told quite another story. She wanted to help me out, take a little load off my shoulders. She knew I had been stressed lately, and anything she could do to help me would make her feel better. We weren't quite together, but we were working on it. We spent every waking moment of every day together, but both of us had just come off long term relationships that ended toxic, and were both nervous about jumping into something so soon. We liked each other enough to say we loved each other, but we weren't "official" yet.

We had dated briefly, back in the day. I was still a member of this community but it was before the thought of a female character was ever an option. Back in 2016. She was a waitress at the time at the bar I used to work at. We were crazy about each other, then, too. However, she went back to school over 900 miles away and we decided a long term relationship wouldn't work. I was pushing 30, she was in college. We decided to stay the best of friends, and would discuss our future when she got back.

Well, she's back, and so were we. It was because of her I even decided to take on a female character. My obsession with her fueled it. Is it bad to say that even though I loved her more than most of the members of my family, I wish now that we had never met?

See, I am kind of a weird cat. To be honest. I was in a community of guys I respected, and as far as I knew they respected me. I had always wondered what it would be like to see things from her view, to be a girl, to have a vagina for just one day. I was in a group where we chose characters to pretend to be, and would have competitions as said characters. Each had a different skill set. It was like Magic the Gathering, or Dungeons and Dragons, just not for emo mall

who took up the entire food court and complained when you wanted a place to eat your greasy food. This was different.

I was using two characters, one as a female and one as a male for quite some time. Being good at what I do, I had some success with both. It was, however, becoming too much. My male character had been my best one, of course, but he was beginning to slip because my female character was gaining popularity, and success. I was beginning to lose more and more with my male character, and needed to take a step back. I decided one day, to involve her.

A decision I am, to this day, regretting.

You see, she was a very good writer, with two degrees from top colleges. Not only that, but she was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. She didn't know about what I did in this league, or whatever you call it, but she knew I spent a lot of time in front of a computer and would often have her rub my hands at the end of the night. She was always open to try new things and since she was a bartender, she only worked nights. She could do this during the day as something to pass the time.

So I asked her one day to help me. She was eager. As long as she was with me, she was down. She had supported me through my djing, my music career, my radio gig....this was just another thing she would have my back on.

The guys in this community, they would never believe it. I had been the female character behind the screen so long, there is no way they would buy it. I had to try, because with everything else going on in my life, this was just too much. I gave her the reigns, told her she could use my female character. I told her to stay off the chat, because I knew how these guys got, but she was a 22 year old blonde---she needed to be noticed. Plus, explaining to her that I was in an online community with a bunch of trolls who would degrade and call her out at every turn, well--that was a lot of questions I didn't want to answer. I told the people who needed to know that she was going to be handling my female character for a while, and everything was gravy.

.......But that word, Gravy, would be the reason why I am sitting here, in a room with white walls, writing this out to you today. I won't even eat gravy at Thanksgiving anymore, the thought of it makes me sick. It churns my stomach like the ocean floor after a major storm, and even typing out the letters is making me uneasy.

Things were going alright. She was actually fitting in pretty well in the community, but she decided she needed to go into chat. Despite my vague warnings, she did it anyway. Immediately, the wolves began to pounce. It was all fun and games, and I expected it since I had sworn up and down that it wasn't me before. Perhaps I had rubbed someone the wrong way, I don't know. Perhaps someone was unnerved at all of my antics. I apologize, deeply and sincerely, to those people.

One of the users, his name was Gravy. Stupid name, right? Probably some fat kid who lives in his parents basement eating Danimal Crackers and jerking off into yogurt tins. He was the one who was most aggressive. He didn't believe it, but why would he? I repeatedly, and nicely, explained the situation to him and asked him to stop. Couldn't we all just get along?

Nope.

Because guys like him have to cut others down to make themselves feel better. They have to troll others because they are dissatisfied with themselves and need a bunch of people in an online community to think they are cool. They aren't cool. They are fucking pathetic.

HE is fucking pathetic.

Anyway. Enough about that. Eventually, after a particularly hard day of trolling, she was beginning to tell me that she didn't want to do it anymore. She was having some success, but couldn't decifer the difference between sarcasm and flat out nastiness. A few times, in the chat, they even made her cry. I convinced her not to go in the chat anymore, and this time she listened.

At night, we would cuddle and talk, forget about this community and all of the evil people inside it. Like a dark web debauchery ring, these people were only dangerous if you allowed them to be.

Or so I thought.

We talked everyday. Silly texts, snapchats and Facebook messages with memes, heart emojis and kiss lips. We had plans to go on vacation soon, and I had already booked tickets to the destination. It would be nice. Just the two of us, as it was meant to be.

They were still giving me crap, as usual. I had just finished hanging out with her one day, and I decided enough was enough. I posted pictures of us together, without her knowledge of me doing so, just to prove that she was indeed real and that this fantasy they accused me of living in was just hearsay. It was not long after that the messages from her stopped. She was oddly quiet. Very short in her responses.

The only message I got one day was "Why are you telling people we are dating?" I chalked it up to her being on her period, just moody. But it wasn't. You see, SOMEONE from this community had messaged her. They had screen shot numerous things, some of them legit and some of them made up. It was someone in the community because the pictures they shared I had only sent to them. She was quiet again, and wouldn't answer me even when I called.

All I wanted to do was explain my side of the story.

I had to find this person. The person that took the love of my life away over something stupid that I did. I had to message them and ask what their motives were. All i got were threats that he would do it again. All I got was someone telling me that he was going to ruin more for me. All I got was hostility.

Here is the thing, I made a mistake, sure, but I didn't lie. She WAS here for a while and I was so desperate to prove it I had to go the extra mile to prove it instead of just sitting back and knowing the truth and letting it be.

Her beautiful eyes, her smile, her scent. Holding her at night. All gone. I don't know what this person said, but it was enough to creep her out for good. The only lie I told was to her, about how I would never put her in any sort of danger. Never do anything to hurt her. I guess I was wrong.

The person who messaged her, whoever he was, told me that Gravy and his persistent prodding of the situation and the "holes he poked in my logic" were what made him want to investigate. Whoever this "vigilante" was, who cared about "an innocent girl getting her photos posted online", said that it was this Gravy handle that propelled him initially to do it.

My love, my heart, my soul, the girl I had planned to marry was gone all because of a mistake I made. The girl I had planned to propose to on the vacation we had planned, gone because I got wrapped up in a game. The girl who I had spent my entire savings on when she was in a bind and needed a car and a place to live, was no not talking to me over something so stupid..........something I did.

Something I would do differently if I could start over.

Because if I could start over...........

I would have killed her when I had the chance.

Michael Graves, the epitome of a leech. A man who needs to stick his nose in business because he longs to be remembered. Graves is beyond washed up, he hasn't been good since I started here. Two years I have been watching Graves lose, change his image, lose some more, then change his image and lose again. Graves can't handle losing so much that he has to completely switch his gimmick in hopes that people forget how much of a fraud he truly is. How much of a scam. Anyone who has bought tickets to see Graves in the ring got scammed, and you should email Vinnie about getting your money back. Graves has only ever been successful when he rides on the back of someone else. He has no solo career to speak of. Every time we hear from Graves, he has handcuffed himself to someone with a bigger name in hopes he can ride that gravy train--pun intended.

Graves would be nothing without Cadryn.

Graves would be nothing without Caedus.

Graves would be nothing without Main.

Graves would be nothing without Dolly.

What kills him the most, is that Graves would be nothing without Chaos.

The weak link in AX3, Graves faded off into the shadows behind Jim and Robert. He became nothing but a pawn on the chess board while they remained Kings. He knew he needed me to join to save face because Graves needed to validate himself in the eyes of his bigger brothers. He has never been more than an outcast with the gift of gab. Graves has always been successful vicariously through the success of others because he could never be successful on his own. He couldn't even win a singles match with his anus life partner as the ref. Graves has been jealous of me since the moment the ink dried, and his entire career since has been trying to catch up with me. The difference is, I have big match victories. Graves comes up short in every high profile match he is in. Graves can't get the job done without someone else to lace his boots and wipe his ass. Graves did what he always does, just look at Savage. He came back with a roar, appeared out of nowhere, and challenged the Universal Champion when he really had no clout or merit towards doing so. What happened? Engy shit stomped him. Graves can't hang with the top competitors in this business, and he never has been able to. Unless he has someone in his corner, by his side, he is useless. That is why Graves can talk so tough the way he does, he has Cadryn to handle his heavy lifting. At least Cadryn attempted to make something of his career. Attempted, mind you. Graves has always been okay to settle for average. Time and time again coming up short in the biggest matches and never realizing that maybe he just isn't that good. He just wants to blame everyone else. You've been in the business long enough now Gravy, you should know how this works. You just cant get over that Universal Title bout we had. It eats at you. Your one shining moment taken away from you in the blink of an eye. Your one shot to be something more than just another guy snatched from you. But you get it, right? Champions are always protected. You wouldn't know this because....well....do I need to go there? I'll go there. You've never been Universal Champion.

Robbie was the Champion, I had him dead to rights and Archie protected him. You see, Kato did ONE thing right while he was here. He protected his best investment. Chris Chaos at that time was best for business. Michael Graves was barely best for the food trucks outside the arena. Graves was his Ross from Friends persona, then. The bad guy turned good, with the car salesman smile and enough skeletons in the closet that Rupal would be ashamed. But Gravy, what is done, is done. Get over it. Stop bringing it up. I've learned to let go of what happened in that cage against Reno.

Speaking of Reno.......

You and Cad both want to keep that piece of shits name in your mouths. Holding him over my head like a carrot in front of a rabbit. Cadryn loves to giggle and bring up how badly he beat Reno. Do you guys want cookies? I put Reno on the shelf, for good. Lets forget he existed and move on, this isn't about Gabe Reno.

This is about Chris Chaos and Michael Graves and the wanna-be-King whose only purpose in life is to be laughed at. Graves....you can only hide behind your flaws for so long. You can only attempt to pull the wool over our eyes for long before all of your inadequacies catch up to you. It will only be so long before you can't be saved by those you choose to align with. I already took out a couple of them. No more Caedus to piggy back, no more Main--not because I took him out but because he is a long-reinging champion and doesn't have time to carry you like a baby sloth. Dolly Waters is gone. The only person you have left is Cadryn, and how ironic is it that you chose to make your triumphant return right after he did? He is all you have. If Cadryn stayed gone, you would have also, because you can't hack it and you never have been able to. You know this. It is so blatantely obvious.

When I first got here, I actually respected you. How dumb do I feel? I saw you as an old head, trying to manage to stay alive in the circle of sharks. I respected your hustle. I was a tad bit confused as to why there was a "Franchise" Graves and a "Dark Warrior" Graves, but I figured that maybe someone was trolling you. I didn't realize that it was because you didn't even garner enough respect to keep the likeness of your name. I didn't realize how much of a loser you truly were. You won that match, and won your name back. The fact that you even had to do that was assinine. You should have just beat the dude down and taken what was yours, but you bitched and complained your way into a match. Up to this point, that has been the only worth-while match you've ever been in.

You were cordial with me, which was enough. I was new, and you just existed. We were on different paths. I was here to break the norm of this place and rise to the top, you were just trying to keep your head above water level. I respected it, but I far from respect you now. Back then, you tried to do it on your own. Sure, you sucked, but you weren't a leech. You had some self-respect, but that is gone now. You have no respect, for yourself or for others. You are just trying to tell yourself that you still matter, and you are using the success (if you want to call 18-15 being successful) of Cadryn to your own advantage. Pull the strings. Once he fails, you will dump him again and try to jump onto the back of the next person who gives you more than 30 seconds of attention. Gravy wants you all to think it was his idea to bring me into AX3, and maybe it was, but "letting me run it". That was bound to happen. I was the only one there worth running it. Main was doing his best Seth Fedder looks impression then. Graves was in some sort of a weird mask and fresh off a pedophilic episode that nearly cost him a career, and Caedus was......well, look how fucked up the south is. Rednecks can't run shit.

I was the only one deserving of it. But for Graves to sit here and say that they were afraid of Reno.....because he basically did admit that......is stupid. Reno wasn't a threat to anyone but himself at that time. Lets be honest here, you were all afraid of ME.

I WAS GOING TO TAKE AX3 DOWN.

I was going to be the one who was going to take Reno's title, or MY TITLE, back, and you guys just couldn't accept that. You were grooming Jim Caedus to cash in and trying to keep me at bay because you all knew that if I got my title back, not a damn one of you would ever see it again. I knew this, and I ran you guys into the ground. I was loud, confrontational, and got AX3 in shit over their pay grade ON PURPOSE. I knew Jim was fixing to cash in, and I was going to be the one to swoop in and take his title from him before you all could get your chance to back stab him first.

I killed AX3, and I killed Caedus.

You see, Graves, all you have to hold on to is shit that we already know. But to say I hate you because you pushed me to the limit in a title match? Oh no, no no no no no. I hate you Gravy because you are a lying, slithering, steaming pile of cow dung whose only claim to fame is being shitty enough to be sympathized for. I hate you because you would rather win by association than win on your own. Why do you think you linked up with Cadryn? He has jumped around from persona to persona also, trying to find an niche that will fit. Remember when he was the jester? Remember when he was Kevin Bacon? Remember when he was a cowboy? Cadryn has the mentality of a five year old who got lost in a Halloween store, and that is why you feel like you can manipulate him. You can pull his strings to get you to do what you want. Hell, with his mental capacity and age, if he was a girl you'd probably try to fuck him.

I mean, you DO have an affinity for pre teens after all.

The two of you Malibu's Most Wanted motherfuckers, calling yourself Dem Niggaz, are two of the fakest, overrated and overhyped jackoffs this company has ever seen. You weren't one of Dem Niggaz, Gravy, and you never will be. Dem Niggaz is an oversided turd with the athletic ability of a beanstalk, and a little M&M sized twerp who is only relevant because little people are comical. Are you going to call yourselves the Kings next? Or reform AX3? Neither of you have a pot to piss in anymore and are bored sitting home playing with yourselves so you need to come back to try and be something more than sour memories. You aren't, and you won't be.

The only time Gravy has EVER beaten me, he had to pretend he was someone else to do it. He had to throw me off my game, get me thinking he was somebody different. I did the same thing to Engy, but the difference is I pinned the Universal Champion. You pinned a Chris Chaos who was on a downward slide and didn't have his heart in the game at the time.

There is a difference.

I pinned the man who made you look foolish on Savage, and I'll do it again. I don't have to prove anything to you Gravy, because I already have on numerous occasions. I am better than you. The only person who needs to prove anything here is you.

You need to prove that you still have it.

You need to prove you're not a worthless piece of shit.

You need to prove that Micheal Graves is not just a burlap sack of a body with saggy skin and bad tattoos. You need to prove this to yourself, Micheal, not to me. You've already proven enough to me.

I have nothing left to do but win.

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