A lighter flickers in the darkness as it struggles to light a candle. Finally, the candle is lit and reveals Random in his true form, sweating profusely.

Camera, it's been a while. We have much to catch up on but I’ll save that for another time. I am as lost as Helen Keller in………..well, I am as lost as Helen Keller probably always is. Anyways I can't find Paul, I have absolutely no idea where the fuck I’m at, and I have a match with fucking Puddles Pity Party tomorrow night. As if I don't have enough shit on my plate, I'm still not over the death of my mentor which yes I might of had a hand in but still, I am heartbroken over here. Also fucking Paul my right hand is MIA again, typical. But no I gotta drop all of that to fight Pedo the child touching Clown. Surprise? Like another fucking clown with a seemly twisted past is what we need on this planet. That's really what we are going with? Okay, I'll play ball. Looky here Ronald McDonald when I show up tomorrow this shit ain't going to be a happy meal, I’m about to throw this quarter pounder dick across your face fucking up that make up that I know took you forever and a day to do. I hope you're ready Chuckles, the XWF isn't some low budget parking lot circus that you're used too. We got real motherfuckers in here. You think you're special? I am a bisexual, drug addict, alien, and I am even low on the tier of talent. But that's about to change quickly and it starts with you. Honestly, I don't even wanna put you under my wins column you're so irrelevant, but once I show the big boys up top what I can really do they might think twice about taking me lightly in the future. See Bonzo you're my golden ticket, I beat you and I get entry to the bigger and badder chocolate factory. I should be fighting guys like Michael Graves, Chris Chaos, or Peter Gilmour not a clown with a child fetish. I came here to do something amazing and so far all I've done is murdered, raped, and abused drugs. Well no more! Okay well I am still gonna do that other shit but this time I am going to take my matches seriously, starting with you! You pick the wrong time to step in the ring Krusty, it could very well be your last.

Random blows out the candle and the screen goes black.