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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
Wake Up And Smell The Coffee, The Toast, The Bacon, Some Eggs, And Depression
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Jackie Peppers Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



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#1
06-19-2018, 05:20 PM

Jackie, having suffered a few delusions, as awesomely sexual as they may be, recently found himself waking up in a hospital bed.

Angus looms over Jackie as Bob sits in the corner, knitting.

Lad, ye need ta git gewin. We are leavin', ye can't be staying on yer arse 'ere!

Angus, don't be a prick.

Angus's eyes go wide as Bob looks up from his knitting project in shock.

A prick? Well, lookie 'ere! De lad grew a pair, tinks he knews bist aboot winnin' in the XWF allasuddn?

Jackie looks up wearily at Angus.

Look, it's my ass on the line whenever I step into the ring. Not yours, not Bob's. I needed to rest for a moment, get past this concussion.

Nae!

Yes! I want a career, Angus, I want to be around for a while, not just flare up like some flash in the pan bum. I want to go into the ring and whoop some ass like I know how, not parade around doing shit for you.

Paradin'? Lad, ye've been gewin threw 'ell ta prepare fer it!

Angus, I'll find another trainer.

Bob looks mortified. Jackie notices.

You're alright, Bob, but Angus is...

Angus slaps Jackie.

I'm gewin' ta carry ye too de promised land, lad, watch!

Jackie, lying in bed and still attached to a bevy of monitors and an IV drip, looks on in perplexed astonishment as Angus pulls out a lighter. Angus reaches under his kilt and pulls out a bottle simply labeled "PURE GRAIN ALCOHOL 200 PROOF". Angus fills his mouth with the substance, holds the lighter about an inch from his lips, aims at the curtains, and expels the liquid in a mist, which, as pure grain alcohol is apt to do, ignites instantly and catches the curtains.

W-Why?

Les' go!

Angus drops the bottle of pure grain alcohol on the floor, allowing the contents to spill all over the black and white tiles. He then turns and rushes out of the room. Bob gets up and walks out of the room, still knitting. Jackie looks completely gobsmacked, jumps from the bed, and bolts from the room. Shortly after, a fire alarm goes off, and madness ensues as panicked patients run out of rooms in gowns, some toting IV carts, some even crying. Visitors, having come to see said patients, add to the disarray. Nurses, doctors, and other assorted medical staff all try to keep some order to what's happening. Jackie spots Angus and Bob using a distant door which leads to a stairwell.

Oooooh! You had to burn down a h-hospital?!

Jackie makes his way through the crowd to the door to the stairs, but a mass of people all pushing to get in make access all but impossible. Jackie, with the grace of a swan, dives over the people, through the open space above their heads and below the top of the door frame, and lands on his feet on the other side. He spins and backflips over the railing to the stairs, cascading down through the stairwell's open center, landing on the rail below. A second flip, this one frontways, sends him downward again. After some more of this very parkour, Jackie lands on his feet at the bottom of the stairwell. This is when he looks up and sees that he went too far, that he's in the basement, and the door is marked "MORGUE".

Um, crap, maybe there's a way out through here?

Jackie, still probably in a stupor since he didn't just climb a story and instead thought a morgue would be a great means of escape, walks in. He stops dead in his tracks, noticing six slabs set up, three of them occupied. The first two corpses are of little note, but the third, Jackie approaches. He pulls back the sheet covering the body and looks down to see a young woman. She's nude, her eyes wide open, unmoving and cold, kind of like your single Aunt at family get-togethers only an actual dead person covered with gashes. Jackie looks at her up and down.

You, you were...

Jackie cringes as he whips the sheet back over the girl.

Why? I killed those people. Men, women, and children. Someone killed her! I just...

The corpse Jackie just looked upon sits up. Jackie spins and looks at her.

Woah! Uh, hi, I'm Jackie! Look, I didn't mean to spy on you there, I didn't know you were sleeping...

The dead girl looks back at Jackie in silence.

[Image: 7105747ed3150369f43fe55cdcec9a3b.jpg]

Yes, she looks just like the super hot ghost from 13 Ghosts.

You didn't kill me.

But, I killed...

The people you killed are dead, Jackie, that's it. They aren't good, or bad, or anything else. Just dead.

Jackie is transfixed with the corpse's enormous boobs, just like anybody was when watching 13 Ghosts.

Um, hello? Up here.

Jackie looks up at her, swallowing the drool.

Yeah?

Look, you should get out, before you're like me.

Oh, uh, what's your name?

I don't need one. I'm already dead.

The corpse lies back down on the table as Jackie retreats from the morgue and up the stairs. On the main floor it's mass hysteria as several orderlies have to protect newborn babies, helpless elderly people, and those with broken legs and feet. Jackie rips monitor plugs and the IV injected into his left forearm out.

I'm not dead. I'm death.

Jackie runs out of the hospital. As he does, the fire department arrives, an entire battalion on scene. Two fire engines, the trucks with hoses the pour water, and a ladder truck, the truck with the big ole' aerial ladder on the back, all come screeching to a halt in front of the fully involved hospital. The crew of the fire trucks all depart.

[Image: 50abbffc6e11ea0514563c7eb4e531f7.jpg]

Jackie stops, gazing. The next engine unloads its crew.

[Image: wocNO.jpg]

Eventually, the fire chief walks up to Jackie. She struts slowly and seductively, her hair flowing in the breeze.

[Image: female-fire-fighters-instagram-narten86....q=55&w=750]

Hello, Jackie. We heard you were really hot, how about you show us how you use your hose and spray us all down?

Jackie looks at the girls with delight.

Uh, okay, maybe after you go put out the burning hospital...

No, now! Let's soak him, ladies!

One of the firefighters points the nozzle of her hose at Jackie. She pulls the bail. As she does, everything goes white, and when we come back we see Jackie Pepper's face is all wet, Angus sitting next to him on a bus and holding an empty bucket. Bob is across the aisle, still knitting.

Oh my God! Where do you keep getting those buckets?

Scotch secret, lad. Hah!

A-Angus, I just had the craziest dream! I thought you burned down a hospital!

Hah!

Angus points out of the window behind him, and Jackie, still in his hospital gown, turns to see the hospital is up in flames.

I did burn dewn a 'ospital, lad! Twas greet treenin! Ye lept, un dove, and landed face first on the basement floor! Ye still stumbled out of de place!

Jackie turns and looks absolutely miserable. His brow then furrows as he looks down, and we see Bob is putting a sock he just knit on Jackie's left foot.

I made you this.

Jackie looks completely anguished as Angus pulls a bottle of hooch out from under his kilt. The rest of the passengers give way to the filthy Scotsman and the possibly brain damaged young man in hospital gowns having a poorly knit sock slid on to him like he was Cinderella. Suddenly, several angry gibbons emerge! They start ransacking the bus like crazy! The bus driver screams and crashes into a lamp post, then runs out with most of the rest of the passengers, except Jackie, Angus, and Bob, who are gibbon frenzied!

[Image: giphy.gif]

Shit Just Got Jacked
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