"Ciao XWF! I'm Abigail Monroe and this is my first promotional video addressing you, though from what I understand the strange, abnormalities that scurry around and film wrestlers, tend to be free and loose with the cameras. So I'm certain this isn't the first time that you've witnessed video footage of me, nor will it be the last. Not that I intend to never address you again but even if I did and I swore off taking out the time and effort to talk to you all from this moment forward, there'd still be video footage of me presented to you, for your viewing pleasures. That's the price you pay for being allowed the ability to wrestle for a company as prestigious as the XWF though."
"A wrestling federation that sits atop the highest tier of entertainment and reigns supreme above all the others. Able to maintain their most reputable status, without really doing much of anything at all to preserve that position. That's right. This illustrious and well established wrestling corporation, can have as many decapitations and death defying matches as they want and still be highly regarded and considered very respectable. Lets not forget about the shit filled condoms either. Sure. Bring on those shit filled condoms. The more the merrier. They won't shatter this federation's powerfully impressive, high ranking station with the public. No. Never. Not the world's most eminent and influential wrestling gods amongst mere hobo-fight, amateurs."
"You know, I sound like I'm mocking them but everything I say is completely true. The XWF is probably the only wrestling federation, that can literally do whatever they want and still stay on top, without a single care or worry about that fact ever changing. Which is exactly why they excel that way now and will continue onward in that fashion, until televised wrestling as a whole ceases to exist. Thankfully, that day won't occur for a very, long time. At least, from what Azrael tells me, it won't. Although, being that he's a superpowered spaceman that can travel through all of space, time and reality, I tend to take his words as fact. "
"I'm not simply here to speak on behalf of the company though. No, I'm here because my opponent, Jackie Peppers has finally taken the time to address me on camera. Although, from the footage that I witnessed, I'm fairly certain Mr. Peppers didn't realize that he was being filmed. Those darn camera trolls are a pesky lot and tend to pop out at any given moment, so having that happen is really unavoidable. Anyway, he brought me up, so I thought I'd return the gesture."
"First of all, I'm not dating Azrael, nor am I having any sort of relations with that spaceman. We're just friends. That's all. Not fuck buddies or friends with benefits. We're friends, plain and simple. With that being the case, I still know that he's not a woman. Hence the title spaceman and not spacewoman. He's got a daughter, for fuck's sake. A daughter, that was brought into this world via a woman, that he impregnated. Meaning that if he's got the goods to do that, he's not a woman. And before you say something like, but he's got the ladies' title, understand that taking ownership of a belt does not revoke your gender. He didn't ask to be placed in the matches that led to his victory and ownership of the title, management did all that, he simply did his job. Nuff said."
"Secondly, I was born a Water Elemental. I'm not pretending or acting, when I claim that fact. I can physically alter my body and literally transform into water. I also wield the ability to manifest and control water. Having that knowledge, please understand Jackie, that a boat, would only help you if I allowed it to save you. Or have you not ever heard of boats capsizing due to enormous tidal waves before? How about whirl pools pulling ships down into the depths of the deep? Torrential rains? I can make all of that happen and then some."
"You were getting splashed with buckets of water, imagine getting hit with an Olympic sized swimming pool. If I so choose to do that, it could happen in the time it would take you to blink your eyes. However, I'm not here to kill you, Jackie. I'm only taking part in a wrestling match and in spite of your ignorance and insults directed at my close friend, I don't want you dead. I'm not a vicious or a sadistic woman. I'll beat the shit out of you and take the win but I won't do more than that. I won't take your meager and meaningless life. No. I promise you, I won't do that because I'm not a murderer. Besides, your existence seems exceedingly, worse than death. In that, perhaps I am rather merciless, heartless and unkind. Since allowing you to live is a remorseless punishment far more cold-hearted and cruel, than anything that death's cold embrace could ever invoke upon a being."
"Third and finally. What is up with that picture of you? Haha! You look like you're trying to be a living blowup doll. Seriously! Look at yourself. You've got your mouth wide open like you're just waiting on some cock. Is that why your mouth is all red? Someone fucked it raw? Sucks to be you. Huh? I wonder how many times you've heard that one? Oh and pun totally intended. Or wait. Is that from all the cayenne pepper sauce that you ingest? Wow. That's really lame. You want to talk smack on my abilities and there you are, committing an act that actually hurts you to do what... still lose matches. That pepper sauce didn't help you at Second Chance, when Griffin MacAlister tossed you from the ring. It surely won't help you in our match. Spit all the pepper mist that you want, it'll merely become diluted and ineffective, when I transform into water. You will actually be hurting yourself more than you could ever harm me, so as a word of advice, take the night off from using it. It's pointless and obviously hurts you. Or don't heed my advice. It doesn't really matter to me."
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