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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Second Chance RP Board
Breaking up is...well, not that hard really...
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The Engineer Offline
Man of Peace



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#1
05-23-2018, 09:54 AM

ENGY RECAP!

After Madison has been crushing hard on Engy's opponent Finn Kuhn for months, Finn Kuhn won Madison's Shove-It event to become his number one contender. But after discovering Madison has been secretely in contact with Finn, Engy naturally suspects that Madison is going to betray him. To that end, he has hired a former KGB agent to "babysit" her. All the while, Engy seems to be coming more and more under the thrall of the apparent ghost of his dead frenemy Jim Caedus. Whoa....weird stuff!



Engy pulls open the door to the police precinct and steps into the lobby. Casting a few glances around, he takes note of the front desk. Really weird coming in here without cuffs... He mutters to himself as he approaches the desk. A middle aged woman turns to look at him.

Can I help you?

Yeah, I need to file a missing person's report.

Let me get the officer on duty.

Engy watches her go, and he turns his back to the desk and leans on it. A drunk, handcuffed to a nearby bench, eyeballs Engy. Engy nods at him and smiles. A few minutes pass before a balding, soft in the middle officer answers the call.

Engy turns back around and tries to smile at the officer, but it's hard and it comes across as more of a smiley-grimace. Engy don't like the po-po.Hey, I need to file a missing person's report.

Have they been missing longer than 24 hours?

Oh yeah, definitely.

And what relation are you to the missing individual?

Engy screws his face up in thought. Uhhhh, I dunno....coworker, I guess?

The officer considers him skeptically. Why isn't a family member filing the report then?

I think they all speak German or whatever, or they just don't care. Look man, I think something bad happened to this kid and I'm just trying to help. Engy stammers out.

The officer suddenly looks more interested. So this is a child?

Engy shakes his head “no”. No, I mean....kinda looks like one. But this is a grown ass man. Apparently. Can I just give you his information?

The officer sighs and pulls a small notebook out of his breast pocket. Name?

Finn Kuhn. I think there's an umlaut in there somewhere, if it matters.

He starts scribbling the name down, then looks confused. Finn what?

Engy starts to speak again, but then notices a black police officer passing by on the other end of the desk. He leans in closer. Ah Jesus....ok. Kuhn....ya know, like....COON. He grimaces when the black officer looks in his direction. The other officer pays no mind.

Height and weight?

Oh, I dunno....uhhhhh, like 4 foot nothing, a buck fifty....?

The officer stops writing to glower at Engy. Could you be more specific? How about some details?

The champ puffs out his lips as he releases a sigh of consternation. Ok, gimme a sec. He drums his fingers on the desk top as he thinks. He's like this wiry little bastard with a massive forehead. Like the first guy that came up with “fivehead” as an insult must have been looking at a picture of Finn. Plus his face is kinda weird, you know? Like a young guy with a serious case of old man face. It's all angular and shit, like a Picasso made real and given buns of steel. Oh yeah, fantastic ass. Or so I'm told.

The officer puts his pen down and massages the bridge of his nose. I'm beginning to think you're not taking this seriously....

I am! Finn really is missing!

What even makes you think he's missing?

Engy leans in closer to the officer, doing his best to look casual. It's like this. Finn's my opponent for a big pay per view match coming up this Sunday. You watch wrestling?

No.

Ok, well when we have a match we're supposed to cut these back and forth promo videos where we tell each other how much we suck and why we're gonna win and all that. Sometimes some people even do these deep existential think pieces, or go back in time to when they were kids, or pretend to be angels and shit....it's weird alright? But my point is this, Finn hasn't shown up to cut one of these promos about our match. Not a one. And I'm the Universal champion so my title is on the line, savvy? So you'd think he'd want to show up and hype this thing? So here's the way I see it. If Finn isn't dead or missing, then he is proving to the entire world that he is the biggest waste of space in the entire XWF (that's where we work). Because this guy has bombed in every title shot he's ever gotten. And he's gotten like a bajillion of them. A metric shit ton. Give or take. But somehow despite failing every single time, he keeps getting opportunity after opportunity to blow and is constantly failing UPWARD. Until finally, he's failed upward to the very top of the mountain (that's me) and against all possible reason or sanity, is giving LESS of a shit about this insanely amazing opportunity than he has about every other opportunity he's already screwed the pooch on.

So yeah, either Finn is lying in a gutter somewhere, or he is without a shadow of a doubt, the most overhyped worthless heap of dog shit the fine sport of professional wrestling has ever produced.


The officer looks seriously annoyed now. Why are you wasting my time?

I'm being perfectly serious officer. Now can we please get on with this because the paranoid ghost in my car is gonna start getting angry at the radio because he thinks it's talking to him, and I'd like to get out there before he trashes my new stereo.

SECONDS LATER!!


We see Engy being dragged out the front door of the police precinct by the desk officer and the black officer from before.

Look guys, I said I would leave! What the fuck?!

The officers toss him down the steps. The desk officer stabs a finger in his direction and shouts, If you come back inside, I swear to God I will shoot you!

Engy pulls out his phone. Can you please repeat that in like 10 seconds so I can....Engy realizes his phone shattered in the fracas. FUCK!

The officers go back inside and Engy picks himself up and dusts himself off, walking away like he's trying to preserve a shred of dignity. He steps back up to Madison's car, throws the door open and slumps into the driver's seat, slamming the door closed after him. The ghost of Jim Caedus is once again, sitting in the passenger seat.

Didn't go so hot? The ghost inquires as he wipes some draining pus from his scorched, blistered face.

Nahhhh. Pigs are dicks. He puts his hands on the steering wheel. Engy looks at the radio, which is still on.

I heard that new Childish Gambino song that everybody's talking about a few minutes ago....gotta say, it's pretty tight! All the insults about my mother weren't necessary though. Jim looks at Engy. Can we go ki-....?

We're not gonna kill Donald Glover.

Engy turns the car on, throws it into drive and pulls away from the curb.

Later....


We cut to the interior of Madison Dyson's opulent home. Madison is handcuffed to a chair and Alexei, her Russian interrogator from our last episode, is seated on her couch watching a daytime soap opera and finishing off a pint of chunky monkey ice cream from her freezer.

You better not have killed that whole thing....

Alexei holds up the carton to reveal it is indeed almost gone.

You son of a bitch! Madison wrenches against the cuffs. Just then, we hear a door shut and not long after Engy walks into the living room.

Hey Alexei, why don't you go sharpen your knives or something. I wanna talk to Madison solo.

Alexei nods and gets up off the couch, taking the ice cream with him. Madison stares daggers at Engy as he takes Alexei's spot on the couch. He shuts the TV off with the remote and turns towards her, but Madison cuts in first. If you're gonna kill me just get it over with. I know talking rationally with you won't work so I've given up on that.

Engy leans back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. You need to see my position here, Maddy. Wouldn't you do whatever you need to do to protect YOUR championship?

Madison looks like she's about to speak, then clamps her mouth shut. She scowls, looks to the side, and then back at Engy. I would at least listen to REASON.

Right, because you have been a paragon of reason yourself lately. Engy shakes his head solemnly. Evolution Maddy. Everything needs to evolve....

Oh Jesus, spare me the flowery speech and just put a bullet in my brain. It would be so much more humane.

Engy looks at Madison. Pump the breaks drama queen, I'm not gonna kill you.

You're not?! Madison breaths a sigh of relief. Oh thank God, I have so much left to live for!

Debatable. But no, you're not gonna die yet. Don't get me wrong....you're fired, but you're not gonna die.

WAIT....WHAT??!! She screeches.

Engy cants his head in her direction and allows himself a small chuckle. You can't honestly tell me you're surprised? Did you think I was just gonna let your treachery go, wash my hands of it and pretend it never happened? Come on....

Madison looks frantic. But I didn't betray you!

Just stop, alright? It's getting kinda sad. You're fired. Move on. Maybe go manage Finn Kuhn into something...well, let's be honest even with you at the wheel he's not gonna amount to much. Hey, I know, ask Joachim if he wants representation. I'm sure he.....hahahahahaha....whooooo can't even go there with a straight face....

You're just gonna throw away YEARS of partnership over a deluded belief that I'm gonna betray you for Finn? Are you fucking serious?! This....oh my God you colossal IDIOT! Madison is incredulous now. I just....I don't even know what to say anymore....

Engy considers her matter of factly. Then say “goodbye”. It's all that's left to say. We both need to evolve Madison. Move onto something MORE. It's just healthier that way. But before you get any bright ideas, you will remain here under lock and key with Alexei until after Second Chance.

Fucker! Madison spits it out as she tries one last futile test of her bindings. You'll regret this!

Engy gets up off the couch and whistles for Alexei, who soon rounds the corner with another pint of Madison's ice cream. Ahhh, the toffee. Good choice!

ALL YOU FUCKERS ARE GONNA PAY!

Mogu li ya zakleit' yeye rot? Alexei asks Engy in between scoops of ice cream.

Engy shrugs. Whatever you gotta do man.

Engy walks towards the back of the house as Madison continues to scream after him, screaming which soon fades into a garble, and then silence as Alexei clamps some duct tape over her mouth. The champ passes through the kitchen and out the back door to the patio. The ghost of Jim Caedus is cooling his burnt feet in Madison's pool, which is causing the water to sizzle and smoke in response. Come on Jimbo, we got work to do. The post Madison-era of my career is officially underway!

End!

[Image: 9QBn3eQ.jpg]





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[-] The following 3 users Like The Engineer's post:
"The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler (05-23-2018), drezdin5788 (05-23-2018), Finn Kühn (05-23-2018)




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