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04-28-2018, 08:30 PM
Post: #1
Battery Point, Tasmania, Australia
Wednesday, April 25, 2018
11:38am Australia Eastern Standard Time

We find Pestalance sitting in the lobby of the Salamanca Wharf Hotel. As the camera moves closer, we see him looking down at his cell phone shaking his head in disgust. After a moment, he looks up noticing the camera and lets a sigh of relief while throwing his head back. He smiles and looks at the camera while speaking.

You don’t know how happy I am to see you. I was super close to cutting a promo via snapchat story and I’ll be damned if I run the risk of one of those stupid ass filters being on my face in the process.

Pest puts his phone in his pocket before continuing.

A’ight, I gotta little bit until my room is ready, so let’s do this shit.

Pest reaches down into one of his bags and pulls out a sheet of paper. He unfolds it and holds it up in front of the camera.

Ok, so I hold in my hand an official document from XWF. On this document is an event memo to certain members of the roster for a special event prior to Warfare. Let’s hear some of the names on here.

Peter Gilmour
Robert Main
Chris Chaos
Christian Andrews
Mandii Rider
Ms. Hyde
Finn Kuhn
Muddy Waters

Pest tosses the paper on the seat behind him.

Now one of these things is not like the other. Every person on that list is either a champion or a number one contender for a championship in this company except for one person…

Pest points to himself


This is twice in a row that I get an invitation to an XWF event that caters to the quote unquote top talent in this company. This is twice in a row that cats that I’m facing, barring Christian Andrews, who is a champion (for now) and deserves it, are not given the same invitation. Now what does this all mean in the grand scheme of things?

Pest shrugs before answering.

It means that I’m an important permeant fixture in this company. I’m XWF’s new rising star, and these other cats are just…not. And I’m not being a hater when I sayin this stuff. This is just fact. Plain old undeniable fact. You ready for another fact?

My opponents are lazy as fuck and lack any kind of imagination.

Check this out…

So the site goes down right? Nobody has the ability to promote this match via the official site. I use other methods to promote….I hop on twitter…I jump on Instagram…fuck man I was getting ready to jump on snapchat before the cameraman showed up. What do my opponents do?

Nothing…not a damn thing.

Another reason why I’m a flawless diamond surrounded by the cubic zirconias that make up the vast majority of the XWF roster. Because despite any adversity, I step up to the plate around here. I get shit done. I’m out here scoring touchdowns while others sit on the sideline hoping that coach puts them in the game. But you know what…I’m cool with dat.

Pest holds his arms out to his sides.

The attention should be on me.

Arms folded at his chest.

That’s where it belongs anyway right?

You’re gotdamn right it does!

So don’t worry about any of these other mothafuckas that’s stepping in the ring with me. They are about to be irrelevant anyway. It’ll almost be like they never showed up, right?

Pest smiles and winks at the camera.


Holla at cha later bitch.
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