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Chris Chaos · (04-14-2018)

The opening avatar came on the screen--dark and bleak, showing a man in a full trench coat walking down an alley, with shots of Chris blending in and out.

Then the scene cuts to pristine Clearwater Beach, Florida. It shows Pier 60, the cocaine white sand, the greenish hue of the Gulf rolling in. Arial view. It took us over the city of Clearwater and over the Courtney Campbell Bridge, into Tampa.

The skyline of Tampa is now visible as music plays in the background, light enough to be notice but soft enough not to distract the viewer from what is going on in the picture. It passed by some historic buildings in Ybor City, one of the oldest and most stories districts in the entire city.

It circled around the city as THE X-TREME WRESTLING FEDERATION PRESENTS: shows up on the screen. Street signs from inner Tampa are shown as it moves away from the city, towards Pasco County.

Finally, it cuts to Chris, taking off his sunglasses and looking into the camera as the scene fades to black.

THE CHRIS CHAOS SHOW

EPISODE 8

Disappointment

"Mezian, I see you got the dick out of your mouth long enough to cut a promo. Nice, I am glad you didn't no show again. That shit gets annoying. I got word that Mezian finally mumbled out a somewhat coherent promo and I stopped all of my plans to watch it. I went back to the hotel, I got a 12 pack, I bought some snacks. Here it was, the epic promo by Mezian against the reigning, defending, and chaotic Television Champion. The company's only double champion. What could Mezian possibly have to say in his quest to finally matter to someone?!

You can imagine the letdown I felt when I watched that. It is the type of letdown a father feels when he knows his kid sucks at baseball, but it is the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs and the bases loaded but the coach refuses to pinch hit. The type of disappoint that father feels, knowing his kid is about as useful in a batters box as Betty White on a half-pipe, but he still holds on to some hope that perhaps his kid will suck just a bit less.

Does the kid get a hit and drive in the winning run?

No. The kid strikes out and everyone looks at the father like "why the fuck is your kid even out there?!"

You are that kid, Mez. We all have hope that maybe some day you'll get that hit you've been seeking for so long, but none of us are holding our breaths. We pretty much say the same thing as those others parents in the stands....."why is he even out there?" Time and time again Mez, you do nothing but let us down. Tomorrow night in that ring, it will be the same thing. You see, everyone here, save a few, is rooting for me to lose. Everyone wants Chris Chaos to be made an example of, to lose his Television Title, to be humiliated in front of a national audience. The only trouble is, you aren't the one who is going to do it. You can't do it. You don't have the testicular fortitude to do it. So another week of Chris Chaos defending his title successfully, and another week of the 10 Mezian fans in that shithole known as Cincinnati wondering what went wrong.....again.

So not only are you a massive disappointment, but I am pretty sure you are on the spectrum. Hell, Mez, you ARE the spectrum. I listen to you talk, and I wonder if you were dropped on your head as a child. Hell, I wonder if you were flat out thrown against the wall as a child. If you were a smart dude, your in-ring inadequacies could be forgiven but the fact you suck at this AND you're a total moron.

Disappointment.

I mean, in your latest disaster that has been labeled and XWF promo, you stumbled through yet another attempt to cut me down verbally, and obviously didn't do you're research. You were soooooo close to a valid knock on me, then you went and put your foot in your mouth like you always do.

You " were" Universal Champion.

Valid point, it was. Way to point out the obvious big guy, I am so proud that you came to that conclusion all by yourself! Do you color inside the lines too?

You "were" Tag team Champion.

Ahhh, here is where you failed to recognize. I AM tag team champion. Sure, I WAS, before Engy stole my belt with a cheap cash-in to boost his own fragile ego, but what you failed to mention is that I AM a Tag Team Champion and I am the one who pinned the Engineer.

Give credit where credit is due. If you're gonna diss me, elaborate. Dick.

Blah blah blah.....then, this gem.

Like we should be thankful that you grace us with your presence.

Well, seeing as I am the "Savage Champion" as many have dubbed this belt, then yes, you should be. I am single-handedly bringing ratings to this show. I am bringing meaning back to this belt. What meaning could you bring to it? The same meaning you bring to daily life..........virtually zero. So yes, you should be thankful to even be in the same arena as me. By even sharing a locker room area, I bring you up by default.

You're welcome.

Then, just when I thought Mezian couldn't be any more of a potato than he has proven time and time again to be.......he hits me with the most fire fucking bombshell I think I have ever heard. I still feel the burn.

If the idea of being champion was so important to you where were you when the shove-it tourney happened?

Bro.........now I know what Jenny means when she says "I can't even" all the damn time. THE TOURNAMENT WAS EXCLUSIVELY FOR NON-CHAMPIONS.

Holy jumping fucking shit balls.

I wasn't eligible anyway, you turd. I was TV Champion, so therefore I couldn't participate. You better believe that with that events turnout, Jenny included, I would have won the damn thing had I been included. But, I was a champion, so, where was I? I was watching you lose to.......bae.

You gave Jenny a good fight, but in the end, the superior talent won out. Are you the heavy lifting she was doing? Are you the one whose ass she kicked and whose name she took? Sure, you made it to the second round by surviving and against an inbred hillbilly who only shows up when he's promised a 12 pack of PBR and a fresh tin of chaw. You lost to someone whose legacy is only remembered because his barley-had-pubes-yet year old daughter was decent in the ring for about 6 months. You aren't good, Mez, you just have an inflated ego because you finally found someone on this roster worse than you are. Your match with Jenny was the closest you've been to pussy since your mother squeezed you out.....you know, before she gave you up for adoption once she saw you had downs.

Too soon?

From where I'm standing the only joke going into Savage is you bud.

Mega burn! Dude, I need to check into ER after that one. Umm, double champion, just pinned Engy......I haven't lost since OCTOBER, Mez. Not counting the cash in, my last loss was October 21st. I don't care about your little "winning" streak that you were on. I care about the fact that you are too dumb to realize that you're in over your head. I am so far above you, you have to break your neck just to see that high. The fact that you "haven't lost in two months" just goes to show the sad state of affairs that this company has been in.

I am here to bring a little chaos back to XWF. I am looking to give people a reason to watch Savage, because Mez it sure as shit isn't you. I could go on for a while Mez. I was expecting you to try to prove me wrong but all you did was prove that you actually are the punchline I said you were. You are nothing more and nothing less than a massive, colossal, gigantic, supreme, mega, gargantuan disappointment.

On Savage when you are lying in the center of that ring and Lacuna Coil begins to play, just know that you brought this on yourself.

The camera cuts off of screen and to the landscape around him. He appears to be in Compton, south of LA, known as the "bad section". He is in the crowd at a police rally over a shooting of an "innocent", "unarmed" victim. You know, the one who just robbed a store, got aggressive with police, resisted arrest, threatened the officer, and was combative. The only reason he was "unarmed" was because he dropped the gun when he got shot. But come on officer, you're supposed to be tough, you can take a couple of bullets! Who cares about your family, this man has a wrap sheet the size of Alaska, is a known criminal, and now has a gun in your face! Take one for the team!

"I am very disappointed in the way the situation played out" the police chief was saying over the loudspeaker. So full of shit he was. He wasn't disappointed about anything.

".....a young man lost his life today, and it all could have been avoided."

Yeah, if he wasn't a criminal.

".......Officer Briggs took action into his own hands and although unfortunate, this department feels that he did, in fact, act justly."

"So why did you bring us here?" Bruce asked with an annoyed tone. There were people all around them chanting, holding signs and most of them looked as though they started mosh pits in public for no reason.

"Because, I want to make Mezian see that being a disappointment isn't all that uncommon. He shouldn't be upset about being a total letdown, because there are a lot of things in this world that are. He is actually in the majority in something! Who woulda thunk?"

"I hate you".

Chris made his way through the crowd. People were really amped up, and some people began to throw things. Security was pushing them back, but there was far too many. They were going to over run the relatively small security force.

Chris was able to push his way to the front of the line, much to the shegrin of many of the rioters. When he finally got to the fence at the front of the stage where the chief was standing, he looked around at the environment.

So much hatred, so much anxiety, fueled by disappointment. The people in the crowd were disappointed in the police department. The police department was disappointed that they were disappointed in them, and Chris was disappointed that nobody had gotten violent yet.

He could see the chief was sweating.

"I just want it to be known that the Compton Police department does in fact have the best interest of the community in mind."

"FUCK YOU HONKEY!" someone yelled from the crowd.

"BLACK LIVES MATTER" another one yelled.

Chris couldn't help but feel guilty, but the only thing he felt guilty about was being white.

Was that such a crime?

Chris moved through the crowd. He say the absolute disdain on the faces of the people and he knew a storm was brewing. These people, however, were always going to be upset---the incident was fresh and people were sheep by nature.

Other people are upset, so therefore they needed to be. They lived by the masses. They followed others because they were too weak minded to follow themselves.

*DISCLAIMER: THE CHRIS CHAOS SHOW IS NOT CLAIMING THAT BLACK PEOPLE ARE WEAK BY ANY MEANS, BUT PEOPLE IN GENERAL. WHITE PEOPLE ARE JUST AS SHEEP-LIKE....BUT ABOUT, LIKE, STARBUCKS, AND TIDE PODS, AND VAPING BUG SPRAY. YOU KNOW, THE ESSENTIALS.*

Chris walked past a woman holding a sign. He didn't bother to read it, in his mind he already knew what it said.

No mother should EVER have to fear for her sons life every time he robs a convenience store. He got it. No need to read it.

Chris decided maybe hitting a local bodega or something would give him a good read on the situation from the outside. People who were either too lazy or too indifferent to go to the rally. Most likely too lazy.

Bruce was in toe, not enjoying a single second of this. He followed along, mostly, to make sure that Chris didn't get himself in too much trouble.

Chris made his way into a local hang out spot. He was getting looks left and right, and they obviously didn't want him there. He bought a Gatorade and told the clerk to keep the change. Sitting down, he listened to conversations going on around him.

That is one thing he loved about black people, they had no qualms with shit talking anywhere, no matter who was around.

Word after word, it was all the same. "Man, I'm just so disappointed with young homie."

"I am disappointed that the cops are still doing this."

"I am disappointed that America has come to this."

Chris stood up, sipping his Gatorade. He would be coming back to Compton for his next show, but there was business he needed to handle now. He would be coming back to Compton as the Television Champion and one half of the Tag Team Champions. There would be no disappointment here.

That was Mezian's job.

"This is going to have to be a "To Be Continued" Episode......., sorry folks. I am out of time but if you want to see a real crime, tune in or grab some tickets to Savage and watch what I do to Mezian! StubHub should have a good deal. Til next time, fuckers!"

He signals to Bruce to get in as the car pulls up.

END SHOW

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