Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Mystery Competitor · (04-07-2018)

Static

XWF TV

A crackly, cackling voice is heard behind the screen.

The person's face can be seen through the fuzz, but was near impossible to fully make out.

The room looked to be some sort of basement though.

Engy....

What's the matter, pookie? I spit a little too much troof for ya? Well, the fact is, I am an honest individual and I don't need to lie. Lying would be saying that you are as good as your image is here. You literally have anyone with a pulse here eating out of your hands because you are essentric and a tad off the norm. We've never had a champion like you. I see right through that. I've taken shits with more hardness to them than you bring to the table. I've never seen someone so mentally weak flourish so well that isn't from the south. No wonder they lost the war. Too busy fucking their cousins.

You, Engy, are nothing but a mirage and the XWF has been without water for quite some time. They are seeing things. They are seeing what they want to see....a fearless leader who will take them into battle and be the first one to charge to opposition. Instead, you hide behind the woman who is single handedly responsible for keeping you down for so long. It is like a reverse Chaos and Jenny, 'cept without the STD's and overwhelming feeling of shame.

You're out of your league on this one. Peter has been blessed by teaming up with the one person in this talent-less cess pool who can actually beat you. Someone who has beaten sooooooo many people here that even Neil deGrasse Tyson can't count that high! While you are frantically studying the archives like college student who procrastinated their way through a semester and now stares at the final, I will continue to explain to you why you are nothing but a total fraud. A character, and not even a good actor. Because you can't help but to expose yourself at evey occasion. You give yourself away, you provide oh so much ammo, but the unenlightened half-wits that now frequent this establishment aren't bright enough to figure out how to load the gun. Not me. I pray on insecurities. I am praying on yours right now. You're sweating like Barney Green on stairwell aren't you? Well keep going big man, you're not even on the second floor yet!

I could be Barney Green also, trying to get one last dip-fueled run at glory before my heart gives out and XWF TV hosts a funeral for me with Steve Sayors crying during the eulogy.

Nah, I'm not, because this promo is already better than anything Barney has ever done here!

Check him off the list.

Hmmmmm.........

Sooooo many options.

And yes, Engy my dear, I could very easily reveal my identity to the world but you are ever so fun to twirl around my finger and wave in the wind. I'll reveal it eventually, don't you worry your messed up little head. Peter will probably spill the beans before I am ready, also, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Won't we?

Mmmmmmmm.........

What is the funniest knee slapper to me, Engy, is the fact that you are still living in a world of delusion. That you are still allowing Madison to call the shots, to run the show, when one of your hangnails has more influence in this place than her entire wrinkly body. The fact that people still associate you with her still, after all you have accomplished, is a degrading little tidbit isn't it? The fact that you will always live in her shadow is what makes me cackle like a New Jersey woman at a comedy show. You haven't cut the dead weight.

Think about it, she cuts dead weight all the time.

Remember Mercy? Jenny Myst, the resident slampig for anyone with a dollar bill and a dream beat her and Madison cut the dead weight. Madison tried to bring her under her wing, and Jenny lost. Madison cut that dead weight. She has no qualms with cutting the fat off the bone, what makes you think you're exempt? You are convinient right now, Engy, because you are successful. But as soon as you begin to crumble she will cut you off the bone as well. She doesn't think she needs you, but you still seem to think you need her.

That is funny to me.

You ARE a lapdog, Engy, and you're fooling yourself by claiming you don't know this.

LIAR!

LIAR!!!!!

LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The truth will set you free cupcake.

But you aren't in the truth business, are you Engy? You're in the dreams business. You have these big visions. You slander Chris Chaos like he is a piece of chewed bubble gum under a shoe......but you and him and really just the same.

How you ask as you tilt your head like a confused German shepard?

Well you both have anger issues. You both are liable to snap at any moment. You both don't know when enough is enough. You're both just.........

..........wait for it............

Panda's.

Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda.

You are about to meet the poacher.

You wonder how Gabe Reno could possibly come back, assuming of course I am him........well, hell, everyone has a price, Engy. Vinnie Lane loves a good shaft stroking just like Shane likes some good ass-play. Sometimes, you have to bring yourself down to bring yourself up.

I'M BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER BABY!

But here is a tidbit of knowledge, a clue, persay, for you to try to make sense of in this fucked up world.

You ready for it?

Thought so.

Jim Caedus took something from me that now I can never get back. Jim Caedus stole something from me, and now that he is worm food it is time for me to steal something from you.

An eye for an eye.

You see, as much as I have watched you ascend into the upper echelon of XWF greatness, despite all of the opportunities you've "earned", I have never liked you. I have never respected you. I have never felt that you deserved all of the credit you've been given.

I still don't.

Because you're alive. You're a living, breathing organism, so therefore you can die. You can be killed, Engy. Nobody is immortal, nor is anyone perfect.

I am a bonafide legend as well. A star, in my own right. I took this company by storm while I was in my prime and I think I have just enough gas in the tank to reach the summit once more before I am ready to let these bottom feeders have a turn.

Creatons.

Creatures.

This is all poetry, this life we live. A haiku of bullshit that we are stuck wallowing in before we meet that shallow dirt bed locked inside an overpriced box with people who never gave a fuck about us in the first place pretending for that day that they care.......

Before they seize our assests.

Rearrange their wills.

Forget we ever existed.

It is a tough pill to swallow, isn't it? Though, based on the looks of you, swallowing has never been a problem for you.

I don't fear you, Engy. I don't walk into this match intimidated, I walk into it confident. You're overly confident in you're 2-on-1 situation here with a sham-wow in your corner.

Ahhh, I need to explain my metaphors better.

A scrub.

You are good at what you do, but you are far from elite. Right now, you're simply just the best of a bad situation.

That bad situation is this company that calls itself a wrestling promotion. They should be called a trucking agency because they are more top heavy than the Wal-Mart truck that almost made us lucky enough not to have to listen to Tracy Morgan yell Ebonics through our television screen anymore.

This company has a few strong ones at the top then trickles down like a wet shit down a Ghost Tank's leg until you get to the bottom puddle of infected shit.

I can count the top talent on one hand.

That's not a good thing.

I am here to bring a spark back to this place, to insert a little anarchy into the established order. I am here to make sure this place is less "Panda-y" than it has become.

Pun intended.

So lets say I am Gabe Reno......you mention the briefcase incident. Sheesh, living in the past much? I am long over that, I am focusing now on blowjobs and my stock in Astro-Glide. I still think the whole briefcase idea is a cheap way to be a "champion", but hey, what say do I really have?

So you beat Jim Caedus on a few occasions. Great job buddy. I'll cut you out a yellow construction paper star and put it on the fridge. You've earned extra recess.

Jim Caedus was beatable too. Just because nobody here could do it doesn't mean it couldn't happen. He has massive flaws in his game but the collective IQ of this place was intelligent enough to call him out on his bullshit.

Me included.

Yes, I was here while Caedus was here, as well. I was here before him too. And I will sure as shit be here after him..

There's a clue!

Engy you have nothing you could say to me that will make me nervous because I have nothing to lose here. Everything from pride to gold is on the line for you. The pressure is on you. I am coming into this match with the wind at my back. You are so angry, so aggressive. You try to shove your accomplishments down all of our throats like anyone sees you as anything but a target. The only one who sees you as a god here is yourself. You must have the most expensive mirrors in the world because all I see is an ex junkie who got lucky.

All luck runs out at one point.

I am going to take your Tag Team Titles, then I am going to take your Universal Title. I am going to exterminate you, I will make the Holocaust look like foursquare on an elementary school playground.

I AM THE KAISER

I AM THE SUPREME LEADER

I AM.......................

YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.

But who am I?

Why so serious Engy? Life is short. Live a little.

Static.

Cackle.

A newsflash comes across the bottom of the screen.

Gabe Reno Named The Newest Spokesperson to NAMBLA.

IT TAKES A REAL MAN TO MAKE FUN OF HIMSELF FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF HUMILIATING OTHERS

Walking.

Not sure where, but legs are moving.

Imagine walking through a world where you are the only one you know, but you aren't even sure who you are?

Everyone looks at you, they don't see anyone, or anything.

A ghost?

Slenderman?

A demon?

Yesssssssss.....

The world just a spiraling ball of light.

Never sure where to go.

Never sure of the next move.

Never sure if this life is real.

All you ever needed was a hug.

You hear a voice.

"Who are you?"

"I don't know"

THE BAD GUY IS BACK

And Engy............

I SEE YOU!!!!!!

Muah.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Why So Serious?
Author	Message