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The Engineer · (04-06-2018)

[XWF TV]

LAST TIME ON DRAGONBALL Z....

Some guy cut a low effort promo and is about to get gut fucked.

Oh, so we're gonna do the whole forego the cool set-up, artsy scene setting, and character development and just go for the meat and potatoes?

Mystery guy....I LOVE MEAT AND POTATOES.

So you ARE a top 10 legend?! You really are the be all, end all, soda pop and a bag of chips that's gonna bring all this crashing down about my head?

Bitch, you don't even have the stones to give your name. Unless, that little “Reno” tag at the end was legit in which case just LOL.

Guy, you're not even good enough to pull yourself up out of the same tired ass insults that have been used on me ad nauseum since I first set foot in this place. Madison's lap dog? And you say you've got me scouted? That shit hasn't been true since the summer, where the fuck have you been? What part of our relationship seems imbalanced to you, exactly? The part where I rack up win after win regardless of her direction? The part where she presently shows up in my promos as a one note comedy bit player (sorry hon, you know it's true)? The part where she is my manager in name only because I have been doing whatever the fuck I want anyway since just after King of the Ring? THESE QUESTIONS AREN'T RHETORICAL. And until you can answer them, fuck off with that lazy ass bullshit.

And you can take that “Ohhhhhh, I just couldn't wait for Peter to get up off his ass anymore” and bust it off in your asshole. Because for as shitty and worthless as you claim I am you sat on your hands until they were numb enough to wank yourself off “mysterious stranger” style, just waiting for me to make the first move. Waiting for me to take the lead like I always do. Because you're just like Peter, needing somebody else to feed you something before you amount to ANYTHING.

As for your “point” about me pulling Double Duty? I won King of the Ring. You think I haven't pulled that shit off before? Ohhhhhh, but here it comes! HERE IT COMES!

“The people you beat in King of The Ring ain't shit.”

Engy hangs his head, shaking it.

Right? Because how convenient it is that all those guys I couldn't step to from back in the day....all those guys who, if they were here now, I supposedly couldn't hack it against...how fucking convenient for you and the COUNTLESS others that have made that argument that NONE of them are around to prove that point.

I'm so sick and fucking tired of that nothing-burger of an argument I could puke. If you were so sure that I couldn't hack it against one of those guys then why didn't you dig up one of THOSE fossils and bring them here as your tag partner instead of settling for Gilmour? Huh? The fact that you didn't tells me one of two things. Either you KNOW that I could hack it against any one of them. Or you don't have that kind of influence to get their asses here. Neither one of those things bodes well for you. Because the second one, in particular, probably means you ARE Gabe Reno. Because there is no one, NO ONE, that is willing to debase themselves enough to consider teaming with a guy who is as big of a walking punchline as you. Except Peter, naturally.

You know what, I really LIKE the idea of you being Gabe Reno. Admittedly because it makes things easier on me. Because if you ARE Reno, it means I have less to worry about than I thought. Because it means Peter's partner is the same self-sucking BITCH who just can't stay away from the fed that has been clowning him relentlessly since the last time he was forcefully shown the door. Let's stop and think about what kind of pathetic fuck-all wad of wide awake nothing can't stay away from the place where he has constantly shown his ass time and time again. Nope, not Gabe Reno. Instead of moving on and setting up shop somewhere where his anonymity would allow him some dignity, like a bed bug infestation in a cheap “no-tell motel” room you keep coming back HERE to suck, suck, SUCK (I do like that imagery, I'll give you that).

But hey, maybe you're NOT Reno. Maybe that cute little tag line you snuck in at the end there was a false flag.

So who are you?

You see, you said it didn't matter who you are. That all that mattered was that you could carry Peter's prodigious bulk past the finish line. But me? I beg to differ. I think who you are makes a world of difference. I'm not buying what you're selling on credit, asshole. Because if all you have to offer as proof of your efficacy is this weak ass “man behind the curtain” promo, then all your claims of being the one to stand over me and watch me die, as so many others have failed to do, are MEANINGLESS. WORTHLESS. What you bring and who you are are inextricably linked. And I think, when it comes to your identity, what you're not saying is speaking volumes.

Now let's address one last elephant before you inevitably decide to underwhelm us all with your true identity. Seeing as how you decided to invoke the name, let's have ourselves a talk about Jim Caedus. More specifically, let's talk about Caedus vis a vis the level of competition I CAN hack it against.

No matter what you or anyone else claims to the contrary...no matter how hard that man fell in his final days here...no one....NO ONE.....can erase the fact that he was THE MAN TO BEAT. You line up any of those legends whose balls are so firmly ensconced in your mouth and you tell me, with a straight face, that Jim Caedus in his prime couldn't hold his own against them. YOU FUCKING TELL ME THAT, AND I'LL CALL YOU A LIAR.

Jim scared the SHIT out of everyone here, he was THAT GOOD. Jim had all the tools to beat me. And yet, given two attempts, he couldn't. He couldn't do it. Oh hell, you know what, let's erase that last attempt even so you can't use the “Jim lost his smile” argument and we'll just go with our first match, where I soundly beat a Jim Caedus that was sane and completely in control of his faculties.

I beat the man who scared the drizzling shits out of the whole roster. I did. ME!

And you know what else, if you ARE Gabe Reno, I think that maybe that's what bothers you the most about me. Because Jim stole your moment in the sun from you. Heh, maybe that's why you took that swipe at me for cashing in on Chris Chaos too. Boy, you sure do hate those briefcases don't you?

Hmmmmmm.

Nut up you little bitch. Pull back that curtain. Let's see what the Great and Mighty Oz looks like. Because you know what I'm betting?

I'm betting we're fixin' to see nothing at all. I'm betting we're fixing to see Gabe Reno, or, at MOST, the ghost of somebody who people used to give a shit about, who's so desperate for one last crack at the spotlight they're willing to tether themselves to someone they don't even respect to get there.

SHOW ME SOMETHING. Give me this “break the internet” moment you promised. Pull back the hood.

And show me who I get to feast on next.

The shot abruptly devolves into static.

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