03-31-2018, 05:49 PM
Backstage, Jackie Peppers is holding his shoulder, beset by Black Angus and Bob Whiskey. The crowd goes bananas.
Well laddy, ye did gud out there, ye did gud. Lits go to git ye a milksheek, nae reason ta fell doon wit dat effert.
Jackie scrunches his nose and looks at Angus.
W-Wait, what about a-all that stuff we did this week, that wasn't the real Donald Trump?
Nae, a' course not!
Angus looks around, pulls out a flask, and knocks it back.
For a little while.
He drains the flask.
No fuckin' wee we would git de actual President!
S-So what the heck was all that stuff about?
Ta toughen ye up, git ye ready fer the match, plus, me and Bob were bored!
Bob looks at Jackie and nods. Jackie's lip starts to tremble.
B-But, that horse, all the damage to the houseboat that you made me fix...
Yip.
Bob nods.
Oh God, that lady peed on a man! There were all those body fluids!
Yip. Ye think the President actually does that? O'course. He's a filthy Scotsman, just like mesell.
Angus sticks his tongue out at the camera and hikes his kilt, showing the world his penis on Webcast, PPV, and enough outlets that the billions of XWF fans universewide can catch a glimpse of his weary, depleted phallus. He then belches, his eyes go wide, and he puts both hands to his gut, still gripping his kilt.
I needs mure booze!
Angus wanders off. Bob pats Jackie on the back.
He needs more booze.
Jackie looks at Bob.
I hate my life, Bob.
Bob smiles and nods. He then leans in, opens his mouth, sticks out his tongue, and slurps Jackie's face. The camera zooms out as Bob then spins and quickly sits on Jackie's feet.
What? Bob, get off of my feet.
The report of a supercollossal fart resounds. Bob grins as his flattus exits him and brings an uncomfortable hot feeling to Jackie's booted feet. Jackie looks completely shocked and dismayed.
Ooooooooh!
Jackie yelps as he scootches his feet out from under Bob, who hops up and chases down the hall after Black Angus. Jackie looks in the direction, his mouth wide open, lower lip protruding.
Hey, hey! Guys! You're my ride, I haven't changed yet!
Hurry laddy, we need to find a liquor store!
Shit Just Got Jacked
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